src,deps: port some electron boringssl workarounds #56812
Draft
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Builds on #56792 which accounts for the first six commits. This draft PR adds only the last commit.
This starts to port the boringssl fixups from electron https://github.com/electron/electron/blob/main/patches/node/fix_handle_boringssl_and_openssl_incompatibilities.patch#L93 /cc @codebytere
This PR will be updated and moved to ready once #56792 lands.