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DamslActTag,Text
"fo_o_fw_""_by_bc",Okay.
qw,How do you keep up with current events?
sd,"Um, well actually, usually, uh, in the mornings I am getting ready to either go to work, uh,"
sd,usually catch the news in the morning.
b,"Yeah,"
qw,what what channel do you watch or what station?
sd,"Uh, N B C."
sd,That's the one I watch.
sd,I usually keep up with T V.
%,"I don't, -"
sd,I am a student
sd,so I really don't have much time to like read the newspapers and stuff --
b,Uh-huh.
sd,-- so I get a lot of stuff through the grapevine which is really isn't --
b,Yeah.
+,-- too great sometimes <laughter>.
b,"Yeah,"
sd,"I usually tend to just, you know, rely on, you know, T V, uh, again, you know, just through the grapevine just, just to know like, you know like what today's stories are"
sd,and I usually like go out an buy a newspaper if you know I'm interested in any particular one.
b,Yeah.
sd,The radio doesn't really have much news sometimes.
sd,The stations I listen to are just mainly music.
b,"Yeah,"
sv,I think you pretty much have to listen to all news station to get any news at all.
b,Yeah.
qy,"Do you think that T V is, uh, pretty accurate."
qy,I mean sometimes do you think it gets pretty commercialized
%,"or, -"
no,"Well, what I really don't like about T V, especially local news as compared to like national news is just, uh, it seems, it seems like everything is very spoon feed"
sv,"and you know it's, it's more like the news shows is now is now you know an entertainment show like a sitcom --"
b,Yeah.
+,"-- or like the news, because they would always have like the wonderful investigative reports, you know, is your kid's bus driver smoking crack,"
x,<Laughter>.
+,"on the way to school, you know?"
b,"Yeah,"
%,it's -
sd,they mainly go with like popular topics --
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- just not like basic news.
b,Yeah.
sd,"Also, also I have the observation of, uh, with the press is that, like any any stories that I had any first hand knowledge of that I see in the press, you know, which only happened like ten times in my life --"
b,Huh.
+,"-- you know first thing you know for anything of you know or anything that actually had, had more than just a blurb about it. That the press has managed to just mess up some aspect of the story --"
b,Yeah.
sd,-- it's something wrong.
%,"Going, -"
sv,"they're, looks like they're going more for ratings <noise> than for --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- you know actual news.
sv,"I think, you know the <popping> probably the best source of just plain journalism would be newspapers --"
b,<Tapping> Uh-huh.
sv,-- they typically have a better. -
sd,I am from a small town too here in Texas --
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- and so that then like local news is really who grew the biggest tomato
%,"and, -"
b,"Yeah,"
^2,the farm report.
aa,"Yeah,"
sd,farm report and oil reports.
x,<Laughter>.
ba,That's pretty <tapping> pretty sad
sd,or who killed who.
b,Uh-huh.
sd,<tapping> Also I have found that newspapers probably aren't as bad as television (( )) .
sd,Read the story and just found it so incredibly watered down
%,"and, -"
b,Yeah.
sd,"Well, in, uh, in Dallas, I don't know if you heard about the killing where the guy drove into Luby's"
sd,"and the story was, uh, -"
qy,"Was that like he started shooting people, people in this cafeteria or something?"
ny,Yeah.
sd,And the news covered it --
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- right, you know, hours after it happened"
sd,and they were taping people who were crying who <noise> --
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- had everything
sd,"and then like three days later this, uh, local news station was using as as their promo --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- to promote themselves.
sv,"I just thought that was really # that's kind of cold, #"
b,"# Oh yeah,"
sd,I # have seen that happen lots of times.
sd,"You know, uh, Channel X gives you the best coverage <noise>"
sd,you know we were on the scene with our team players
%,"and, -"
b,Yeah
%,"and it was just, -"
sd,they were showing like these dead people --
b,Uh-huh <<very faint>>.
sd,-- and they were showing people crying --
b,Uh-huh <<very faint>>.
sv,-- I mean just taking advantage of you know. -
b,Uh-huh.
sv,"# They are trying to get # the, you know, most emotional response for, -"
aa,"Yeah,"
sd,"it didn't seem like there was much coverage of the story,"
sd,but just the play on people's emotions <noise>.
%,"It's just gotten so, -"
sv,"I mean, somewhere there's, it's lost a lot of the quality that they use to have like in Walter Cronkite that if you know -- -"
b,Yeah <tapping>.
sv,-- and everything. -
b,"Yeah,"
b,yeah.
sd,"You know, I've pretty much stopped watching local news totally you know --"
b,Yeah.
sd,"-- uh, <noise> you know even the national news I just find it to be you know --"
b,Yeah.
+,"-- very watered down,"
%,"very, -"
qo,What did you think of the coverage of the war?
sd,"Uh, I fou-, I found it very one sided."
bh,Did you?
sv,"Uh, you know, it, it just seemed to lack any sort of debate."
b,Yeah.
h,"Uh, you know, not saying that we shou-, that we actually should have been there or shouldn't have been there,"
sv,"but it just seemed like, you know. -"
sv,"They kept just showing, you know, how great we were doing"
sv,and it never really showed what actually --
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- the damage that really happened that's -- -
b,Uh-huh.
sv,"-- a lot of times like the news coverage showed all the, you know, the guys who didn't get hurt coming home and all the big parties --"
b,Uh-huh.
%,"-- and they kind of you know, -"
qh,if they were going to show that why didn't they show the guys who --
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- you know got really hurt and everything.
b,"Yeah,"
sv,"and I really think that you know in the involvement that the press states, you know that the the military basically sets the press,"
sv,"-ing seems to be a, a topic that's going to probably take about a generation to, uh, catch on, it seems, or maybe a generation to two <laughter>."
sv,And we may have to do it out of necessity as far as moving that time schedule up.
sv,"Uh, it does seem to be a lot of habits to break."
sd,"I, uh, wasn't raised as a kid on it,"
sd,but my kids are
sd,"and so they, they tended to want to grab the aluminum cans when that was one of the first things to do,"
sd,"and we were doing all right there until, uh, the price dropped out"
sd,<breathing> and they weren't worth anything anymore.
b,Uh-huh.
%,"And we <breathing>, -"
sd,"it took us, <lipsmack> almost a year to get a garbage sack full."
sd,We just don't drink that many.
sd,"So as far as at home use, uh, we'll pick up a six pack every once in a while or for whatever occasion of Doctor Pepper or something"
sd,"and, and by the time we gathered up enough crushed cans to take it in, uh, -"
sd,"at the time it was still, oh, about forty or fifty cents a pound,"
sd,"and we came out with about a dollar <laughter>,"
sv,it just really wasn't worth it.
bf,And a lot of hassle all year round
bf,"and cans laying, -"
aa,Yeah.
b^m,Yeah.
sd,"So, they, they realized, you know, -"
sd,"well, of course to them a dollar was a dollar at four and five years old."
sd,"That wasn't, uh, that was a big deal,"
sd,but we decided it wasn't worth us keeping it
sd,"and then, uh, T I started keeping up with, uh, cans there,"
sd,so occasionally I'll bring whatever I've got laying around the car or the like and throw them in there.
sd,"Least it gets back into the system,"
sd,"but, as far as a habit at the house, uh, I haven't started on anything other than just whatever the city wants to pick up."
qy,Have you all got the individual containers yet?
nn,"<Lipsmack> No,"
sd,"I read in the paper this week where maybe, -"
h,"I don't know if it w-, was, -"
sd,I guess maybe this week someone may start getting them if the truck that picks them up is outfitted in time.
%,Um.
sd,"But, it, it should be starting, I would stay probably in the next month if, if everything goes that <breathing>, -"
sd,"I'm not sure all what we're going to have to do, whether we have three separate containers,"
sd,I really don't understand that part on what they've told you to separate everything.
b,Right.
b,"Yeah,"
sv,"it seemed like, uh, -"
sd,"if, if I recall, it's been a long time."
sv,They're way behind schedule on that particular part of it.
sv,"They were fine on the green, big green containers --"
b,Uh-huh.
sv,"-- but, uh, seems like they said they were just going to have a bin"
sd,and all different types would go in there
sd,and then that they would sort it as --
b,Oh.
+,-- as needed.
sv,"It, it seemed that there was, -"
sd,"at the time anyway, it, the thinking was that there was too much not getting sorted properly and that at, at the collection sites where everything's clearly labeled and people that happen to go to that kind of trouble to do it, happen to do it pretty well, uh, those are okay to have the general public doing the sorting."
sd,"But when it comes down to just general purpose trash, that all the houses, uh, -"
sd,"the success rate of getting it sorted properly seemed to be poor,"
sd,"so they felt that having one guy just sit there and run through it real quick was better than, than --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- having a household try it.
h,"But I, I don't know,"
sv,that sounds like an awful lot of labor to sort the entire week's worth of trash for a house.
sv,"Well, it would get messy, too."
b,"Yeah,"
b,"yeah,"
sd,"I, I, I know other places when they recycle, they have to, like, wash out their glass jars and --"
b,Right.
+,"-- whatnot. And, uh, which we're not in the habit of doing."
aa,That's true.
sd,"I was brought up, uh, you know, long time ago, that they didn't even have cans."
sd,They had bottles
sd,and you'd return them to the --
b,Right.
+,-- the grocery store
sd,and you'd get our money back
sv,"and that, that was all well and good."
sd,They don't seem to still be doing that.
sv,"If they could just eliminate the cans and use glass,"
sd,"but, I guess this day and age --"
b,Yeah.
+,-- they don't.
^2,<Lipsmack> They don't do that.
sd,We live next to a set of railroad tracks
sv,"and it seemed to be a very popular thing for people driving by that highway there, by our tracks to throw the bottles at the tracks and try to crash, you know --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- break them,"
sd,"but, uh, they weren't that successful,"
sd,so there were a lot of bottles to be returned
sd,and we just walk about a half a mile in each direction and gathered up enough to buy whatever we wanted --
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- for the day <laughter>
%,"and, -"
b,"Yeah,"
%,"and they, uh, p-, -"
sv,"I, I think kids don't appreciate, maybe the value of money, that it's so little that they don't care,"
sv,they can get more somewhere else.
b,"Yeah,"
sv,"just a little bit of begging will <laughter>, -"
%,"Uh, for a good, -"
b,right.
%,"They're, -"
sv,"the nickels, the dimes or what, I <laughter> suppose it might be quarters, fifty cent pieces in these days, that they would get, they, the kids just don't seem to, to care that, that much about a small amount of money."
b,Right.
%,"Well, I wonder,"
sd,"But, we, we did buy a can crusher"
sd,and we are crushing cans
sd,"and when we buy the soda when it's on sale for ninety-nine cents,"
sv,so I would say --
b,Yeah.
+,"-- in the last three years, we've probably used a lot more cans than ever before."
sv,"Uh, it was just easier <breathing> to do that than to open a large <breathing> liter bottle and then have it go flat."
b,"Right,"
b,yeah.
sd,"<Lipsmack> So that's the main reason we're, we, sort of are into cans <laughter> at this point rather than the liter bottles <laughter>."
qw,Where do you take your cans?
^h,"Well, as you say, it takes a while to build it up."
sd,"Since we've had the crusher all summer, we <breathing>, I guess we just now maybe have a bag full that we haven't ta-, oh, -"
sd,"I think the kids, when we were on vacation, they said they did take them to a, a recycling place, probably at one of the li-, -"
ad,"Well, basically, uh, did you want to go first, then?"
aa,"Uh, well, I can."
sd,"I, I don't own my home."
b,"Okay,"
b,right.
sd,"Uh, <laughter> I mean I, I live in a nice area"
sd,and I rent my home
sd,and --
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- uh, we aren't sure we're going to buy a house yet because we don't know if we're going to be staying here."
b,"Sure,"
b,uh-huh.
+,"In, uh, Texas,"
%,"so, -"
b,Yeah.
sd,"I think as far as, like, our home, it's, uh, in a small residential area."
sd,"We're out of the cities quite a ways,"
sd,so it's kind of more of a country setting
sd,"and, uh, <baby_crying> it's just a typical, uh, three bedroom type of home."
sd,"It's, it's nothing, you know, <baby_crying> elaborate where it has, uh, this or this or, you know."
sd,"It's, it's --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- just a typical home with, uh, three bedrooms, uh, two story type home."
sd,"Uh, and I think as far as if it's, for put it into standards of, uh, what other homes are around here, it would be just about fitting right into the middle part of where the homes are."
sd,"Uh, there's a river across from us which has more elaborate homes"
%,"and yet there's, -"
sd,"where we can view the river from that distance, there's still homes within our area that are, you know, pretty typical of what our home is,"
sd,so --
b,Uh-huh
+,"-- it's, uh, pretty much that, uh, type of, uh, home"
%,"so, -"
b,Yeah.
sd,"Well, our ho-, --"
+,"-- our house, we, we're renting it from an individual who bought it"
sd,and he lives in Korea.
bh,"oh, really?"
sd,"And, uh, <baby_crying> he's recently moved here"
sd,and he's owns eight or nine properties --
b,Sure.
+,"-- uh, near here --"
b,Uh-huh.
%,"-- and, uh, so, -"
b,Yeah.
b,"Oh, yeah,"
b,yeah.
+,"Which is just, uh, in trouble --"
b,Yeah.
+,-- <Breathing> to me.
sd,And they're not very expensive either.
sd,"It just seems like, -"
sd,we have a three bedroom house.
sd,Ours is one level only.
b,Uh-huh.
%,"Uh, but we, -"
qy^d,So it's the rambler style.
ny,"Yeah,"
sd,"we have two, two living areas and a dining room and a big kitchen"
b,Uh-huh.
b,"Yeah,"
b,yeah.
%,"So, -"
sd,It's kind of like what ours is.
sd,"Uh, one of our bedrooms is really small"
sd,"and we've made that into a den because we only have one child,"
sd,"so that was our best way of going with, uh, the small bedrooms because they are making bedrooms smaller and smaller."
sv,It seems like they get incredibly small <laughter>.
b,Yeah.
%,"Uh, but, uh, anyway, but, <lipsmack> okay."
sv,"So that sounds great,"
sd,"and, uh, I don't know if we need to talk any more or whatever."
qy,"Have you d-, have you done this before?"
qy,The T I?
ny,Uh-huh.
ny,"Uh, yes,"
sd,"uh, about three times before."
bh,"Oh, have you?"
sd,"I'm fairly new to it,"
sd,but <breathing> it seems to be going okay.
b,Yeah.
qy,Are you in Texas?
nn,"No,"
nn,huh-uh.
b^m,"No,"
b,"yeah,"
nn,"No,"
sd,I'm out of state.
sd,"I'm in Wisconsin,"
%,"so, -"
bh,"Oh, really?"
ny,"Yeah,"
ny,yeah.
b,Oh.
%,"So it's, -"
ba,Sounds interesting.
"fo_o_fw_""_by_bc","<Breathing> Uh, other than that, sure, yeah."
qy,Is this your first time?
nn,"No,"
nn,huh-uh.
sd,"I've, well, I've gotten several calls."
b,Uh-huh.
%,"Uh, but, uh,"
sd,I'm always the one that initiates the calls because I kind of like it because it's like I can get it done with <laughter>.
+,Yeah.
sd,"I don't have to wait until somebody calls me even though I have a feeling what's going to happen is I'll probably get tons of calls, you know, so, sooner or later."
b,"Yeah,"
b,"yeah,"
sd,"well, they've, I've talked to some people from Cleveland"
sd,and I did talk to someone --
%,"Uh-, -"
+,-- else who lives here --
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- in the same city I do,"
sd,so --
b,"Yeah,"
b,yeah.
+,-- that was kind of interesting <laughter>.
b,"Yeah,"
b,sure.
sv,"They're, they're sure getting their people out,"
fc,"so, well --"
fc,Yeah.
+,"-- it was nice to talk to you, anyway"
fc,"and, -"
fc,"Okay,"
fc,"well, you take it easy, Gail."
fc,"Okay,"
fc,thanks.
fc,"Bye, now."
fc,Bye-bye.
sd,"<static> Well, we're just starting a family through adoption"
sd,"so I don't really have a lot of, uh, concrete, uh, opinions."
sd,"Just what I know out of my peer group, uh, has gone through."
sv,And none of it has been good <laughter>.
bh,"Oh, really?"
ny,Yeah.
sd,"Uh, the ones that can afford to have live-in nannies,"
b,# Huh. #
+,# They # seem to be having an okay time.
b,Uh-huh.
sv,"Uh, but a lot of the other ones that have, are professional, uh,"
sv,"I'd say fifty percent of, you know, my peers that I'm, in my circle of friends have tried it and then stopped working until they're, you know, going to get their children in kindergarten or first grade."
b,Uh-huh.
%,"Uh, but I, -"
sv,there must be some good service out there # if you # --
b,# Right. #
+,-- really look and pay for it.
qw,"What, what age child are you thinking in terms of?"
qy^d,In terms of what they're talking about.
nn,No.
sd,"For, for yourselves <static>."
b,Oh.
sd,Infant. Uh ...
bk,"Oh, okay."
b,# Infant. #
sv,"# So you're # starting from the b-, <laughter> from the baseline."
aa,<laughter> Yeah.
sd,"After eleven years of marriage. Yeah, we are."
sd,"We're actually, it's happening now."
sd,"So, we're just going through the process."
b,I see <bird_squawk>.
sd,"So an-, and actually the question is, uh, very appropriate."
sd,"Cause I'm not sure whether, uh, how strong the maternal instinct is going to be."
sd,They tell me it's going to be strong <laughter>.
qy,# Do you # --
b,# Right. #
+,-- have children?
sd,I have one son.
qy,And did you put him in daycare
qrr,or is he older now or younger
%,or? -
sd,"Well, he's, he's now eighteen. And in, in, you know, has completed a couple of years of university."
b,Sure.
sd,So he's out of daycare # <laughter>. #
%,"# I, -"
b,right. #
%,"And, and so that, -"
sd,"but I was working full-time, # uh # --"
b,"# You, -"
b,uh-huh. #
+,-- when he was born.
sd,"But I was very lucky because I was a, a college professor."
b,Oh.
sd,"And so I was able to, you know, #"
sd,"and I, it was # --"
%,# (( Flex )) . # -
+,"-- walking distance from, # from # --"
b,# Yeah. #
+,-- my apartment.
sd,So I went up there
sd,"and I sort of left him with, with a neighbor."
b,Uh-huh.
sd,And I left him in a carry cot when he was very little <noise>.
sd,"And I said, you know, he doesn't need anything except, you know, look at him if he cries."
sd,"But, you know, don't pick him up and, # and # --"
b,# Yeah. #
+,-- this sort of stuff.
sd,Because I was gone only an hour at a stretch or an hour and a half.
ba,"Oh, that's wonderful."
sd,"And I was able to, you know, get, his schedule just, uh, cooperated."
b,Right.
%,And ... -
ba,That's wonderful.
b,# Yeah. #
b,# Yeah. #
sv,"And, and I guess, uh, th-, because of your, um, your, uh, profession. -"
sd,"I mean, I, uh, I'm in corporate communications."
sd,"But I've done free-lance writing in the past,"
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"so what we're hoping is that, uh, -"
sd,I mean my husband thinks I can do it.
sd,"I've just never worked out of a domestic base, you know."
sd,# I've always # --
b,# Uh-huh. #
+,"-- been in a corporate, uh, environment."
sd,"Uh, but I'm hoping that possibly I can do something where I can go flextime or part-time"
sd,"or if they don't have that, uh, -"
%,"my boss, -"
sd,"I'm very lucky though, again too, my boss is very akin to family building."
sv,"So, I think that's som-, th-, something that couples need # in going # --"
b,# Uh-huh. #
+,-- into this.
b,Right.
h,"Uh, I don't know."
sd,I do think there's good daycare out there.
qw,What part of the country are you in?
sd,I'm in Maryland.
sd,You're in # Maryland. #
sd,"# But, # but I was out of the country when, uh, my, my son was little."
sv,"But, but the thing is, if you have this flextime and that, you might be able to do something similar to what I did."
b,# Right. #
+,# Which # is --
sd,That's what I'm hoping.
+,"-- you know, be there short times"
sd,"and then later on when he was, you know -- -"
b,Uh-huh.
%,"-- I mean this, -"
sd,"we're talking about, uh, I went back to work and, or taught some, some classes like a week after he was born."
ba,"Oh, my goodness."
sv,# You were # --
%,# And so # ... -
+,-- fortunate.
b,Yeah.
b,Yeah.
sd,And so that's when # I was # --
b,# Yeah. #
+,"-- saying, you know, don't, don't pick him up and stuff."
sd,But then later what I did was I brought a woman into the house.
b,Uh-huh.
b,Sure.
sd,"And she, she was supposed to help me a little bit with cooking and doing the baby's laundry and this sort of stuff."
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"And then, I also came home and sort of was able to see from a distance what she was doing."
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"And, you know, in a sense she, she carried him around a lot, too much. Uh, you know --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- for, for my taste."
b,Right.
sv,"It was constantly, no, # I don't want him, #"
x,# <laughter>. #
+,to explore anything.
^q,"He might, uh, he might hurt himself # <laughter>. #"
qy,"# <laughter> # So do you think that, I mean, do you think that that was in a way though, good ob-, good objectivity that, that doesn't really, -"
sd,that's not a correct English #
qy^d,"but (( )) , you know # --"
x,# <laughter>. #
+,"-- in a sense, you see what I'm saying though."
qy^d,"From a mother's standpoint, I mean in a way, i-, it was quote and unquote good ob-, objectivity."
na,"I think it worked out very, very well."
sd,Because what he learned to do by the time he was --
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- two or so, he would sit next to the desk where I was grading papers # or # --"
b,# See. # -
+,-- writing lesson plans.
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"And he had asked for a paper and, you know, sort of scribble"
sd,and then he realized that # there # --
b,# Yeah. #
+,-- were quiet times
sd,and there were active times.
b,Right.
sd,"And then he learned he, he also learned that, uh, there were times that you had to be gone, so you probably minimized, -"
sd,"well we're actually, uh, we're getting ready."
sd,"I mean, you're far enough away now I can tell you <laughter> since this is locally, I make sure, we're going to Romania in a few weeks."
b,Oh.
%,"And that's, uh, # (( just )) . # -"
qy,# Did you # say Romania --
sd,"R-,"
+,-- or Armenia?
+,Romania.
bk,"Oh, okay."
b,"# Yeah,"
b,yeah. #
sd,"# As in, # like, what Twenty Twenty and, uh, but we, we're real excited because we've just developed a contact."
ba,"Oh, good."
+,Through professional people
sd,and it's private
sd,and it's hospital.
sd,"It's, we're just very excited <laughter>."
^h,# Uh # ...
ba,# Oh # great.
+,"And w-, i-, i-, what's the word I'm looking for."
sv,"When you deal with issues like that, uh, in terms of family building through adoption, uh, and then you have people responding to you, well if you go through that why would you put them in daycare."
bd,Oh # that's silly. #
sd,"# Uh, # issues are being raised prematurely in my mind."
sd,But I guess they're not because it's something I'll have to deal with sooner than later.
sd,"Uh, and I, what I've learned to do is just tune out everybody's opinion."
sd,"I feel that if the child is healthy, uh, and as long as we make it feel secure, I'd love to do something like with what you did."
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"Uh, I don't think I could be dumper where I could take it from, you know, eight in the morning till nine at night or six at night and leave it there."
b,Right.
sd,"Uh, maybe after two or three or, y-, years old."
h,I don't know. Um.
%,"Oh, I <laughter>, in my opinion, it's even than. -"
sv,I mean --
b,# Yeah. #
+,-- # your # kids need you <bird_squawk>.
sv,"Well, they need a schedule I think."
sv,"I don't think the United States, -"
qw,"what country were you, uh, in Europe when you were uh, uh? -"
ar,"No,"
sd,I was in the Middle East.
%,"Uh, that's <laughter>. -"
sv,"Well, that's the same thing."
h,I mean I don't know how they are there
sd,"but, uh, in eastern Europe, -"
sd,"my stepfather's from England,"
sv,"it just seems the United States does not provide for either child care or geriat-, or elder care, as I call it."
b,"Right,"
b,right.
sv,"Uh, and we're just not set up for that."
%,"Uh, # (( with the )) . # -"
%,"# I, -"
b,yeah. #
ad,Go ahead.
ar,"No,"
sd,"I was just going to say, I guess, uh, my sensitivities are, are much more with the, you know, to be at home."
sd,"Because actually, I had --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- my grandmother with me from the time she was from the time she was ninety-two until she died at ninety-seven.
ba,"See, I think that's wonderful."
sd,"And, I mean, that was recently after my son, <laughter> was going off."
%,"And I mean, yes,"
sd,"in a sense, I went to work"
sd,and she was at home alone some of the time.
sv,"But, but still, you know, it was much better than being shipped # to # --"
%,# To. # -
b,Right.
sv,"I think we're t-, we're too, too much # towards it's somebody # --"
^2,# We cast off. #
+,"-- problem, you # know. #"
b,"# Right, #"
b,# right.
%,"Th-, -"
sd,I'm that way.
%,Yeah. #
^q,# I want to work.
^q,"Shove # them in, in some school for twelve hours a day."
b,Right.
sv,It's easier
sv,and I agree with that.
%,That's why I --
b,Yeah.
+,"-- y-, you know, -"
sv,what is amazing to me is now your son is already grown
sv,but you can probably empathize with this.
sd,It's amazing to me how forthcoming people are with their opinions and thoughts <laughter>.
b,"Right,"
b,right.
sd,"In terms of what to do. Uh,"
sv,"and I just don't think there is a day, a good daycare system."
sd,"Uh, my company, I'm particularly fortunate that they have, they're in tune with that."
sd,"But I've been at companies where, uh, you know, the, deci-, the, the trend is, or the definite mood is, well we made conscious decisions not to have children."
%,You know.
%,"And in, -"
sd,"and a couple like us building through adoption, there, it's almost radical to some people."
sd,And what you just learn to do is tune everybody else out
sd,"and, uh, I respect, there are some women that I know that are divorced or on their own or in single parenting and men that they, you know, they may have the need for child care like that."
b,Uh-huh.
ba,"But I agree with you, that it's just, I call it dumping <laughter>."
b,Yeah.
%,"I, # I # ... -"
b,"# No,"
sv,"# I, I think that certainly there is a role, uh, for this type of help."
b,Uh-huh.
sv,"And, and as long as one can, can supervise it and, and, you know, make it work in, into one's own schedule without it seeming like dumping or --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- or, or, uh, giving it, you know, the whole job to somebody else to take care of."
^2,"Then, yeah,"
sv,"# it's ar-, # --"
+,-- in tandem then.
b,"Yeah,"
b,# yeah
x,<noise>. #
%,"# I just, # uh, -"
sd,and there are trade-offs too I think.
sv,"One of the things that is a problem is that, uh, in terms of compensation to some of the child care providers."
b,Uh-huh.
sv,"Uh, it's just, you know, it's so low"
sd,"but yet the overall cost for somebody doing it on a daily or even a weekly basis, it's prohibitive."
sd,And some people that are not making more than twenty thousand a year --
b,Yeah.
+,-- uh ...
sd,"Actually, there seems to be an alternative in my neighborhood."
%,# Is # -- -
b,# Really. #
sv,"-- there seem, there are several, u-, u-, m-, mothers who stay home."
b,Uh-huh.
%,"And they take, you know, -"
sv,it's probably not completely legal <noise>.
%,"Uh, I, -"
sv,maybe it's legal up to one or two additional kids.
b,Sure.
sd,"But, and they, they take care of another child"
sd,"and I, I can actually n-, could name five or six people around my neighborhood that really do a good job on this."
b,Uh-huh.
%,"# And they, -"
b,yeah. #
sv,# <swallowing> And I mean that's # another possibility
sv,"and, you know, you might want to stay home one year"
sv,"and some other lady might want to stay home for a, a few years"
%,and ... -
sd,I haven't thought about that.
b,Yeah.
sd,And actually my neighbor has an eighteen month old
sd,and she's at home part-time paralegal.
%,"So I'm thinking, um -"
x,# <laughter>. #
b,"# Yeah,"
b,yeah. #
sd,And we get along fantastically
%,"so I'm thinking, you know. -"
sv,"And that's the way you have to, uh, -"
%,"how wa-, -"
sd,I'm just real curious.
qo,How was the Middle East in terms of that with children?
qy,"Is that, is child care or that type of idea completely foreign to them?"
nn,No.
sd,"Well, actually there was a daycare center, uh, where my son did go for a year."
sd,I think from when he was two to three.
b,Uh-huh.
sd,But then he actually started kindergarten at age three.
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"And so, and i-, you know, it wasn't like prekindergarten,"
sd,it was real kindergarten.
b,"Oh, really."
sv,He must be # smart.
b,Yeah. #
aa,# Yeah.
sd,"So he, # he was ready to, to go to school at that point."
b,Uh-huh.
ny,"But, yeah,"
sd,"they're, they do have such facilities."
sv,"But for the most part, uh, th-, with the extended family, you know, you can usually find somebody. Which is much like our neighbor --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- you know, to, sharing responsibility."
sd,"And I'm, and also there aren't that many women who, who d-, # who work. #"
sd,# The professional. #
b,"Yeah,"
sd,I was wondering about # that. #
b,# Yeah. #
%,"Uh, there, -"
sd,I'm in Dallas
sd,"and there was just a very big, uh, series about Moslem women"
sd,and --
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- there were enlightening things that broke some of my stereotypical thoughts.
sd,I'm digressing here
qy^d,"but, uh, I was just real curious when you said Middle East, # if you # --"
b,# Yeah. #
+,-- didn't mind me asking.
nn,"No,"
nn,no.
sd,And I didn't mean Israel.
qy^d,"So # you, you assumed right <laughter>. #"
nn,"# Oh, no"
bd,that's okay <laughter>.
sd,"# Well, even if you did, that's okay actually."
%,# I think # ... -
arp_nd,"# Well, no #"
sd,"because at first thought, when I s-, you know, I said that not many people work, I'm, I'm thinking oh, well she's going to, you know, because certainly in Israel the women do work # <laughter>. #"
b,# Right.
b,Right.
sd,"They fight,"
sd,they work. #
"fo_o_fw_""_by_bc",Okay.
b^m,Okay.
x,<Laughter>.
sd,I forgot all about that that it had to be pressed.
x,<Laughter>.
%,"Um, but anyway, so, so as far as, -"
sd,"w-, we really, we don't want to get in the habit of watching a lot of T V --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- because we both were raised, you know, that way, you know, where our parents sort of stuck us in front of a T V to be the baby-sitter."
b,Uh-huh.
sd,And we just don't want that.
sd,"We want more communication and interaction, you know, amongst us as a family."
sd,"And we both like sports,"
sd,"so we figured, well what, what better way to get out and, you know, be together as a family --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- and also, you know, have it be good for you."
sd,"And plus, we like, we both like to cook,"
sd,"so, you know, that's something we spend time together too, is, you know, cooking and, uh, preparing meals and stuff."
sd,"So, uh, but as far as that <laughter>, that's about all we've discussed # as far as for family. #"
b,"# Really,"
b,"okay,"
sd,"well see, # I'm the third oldest of twelve children."
x,(( )) .
ba,Oh my gosh.
%,"So like I said, I, -"
sd,and I'm only twenty-one.
sd,I'll be twenty-two next month.
sd,So there's nine that are younger than me.
sd,My youngest sister is five.
b,Oh yeah.
sd,"And like I sa-, I don't have any children."
sd,"I'm just engaged,"
sd,"and I'm getting married in October,"
sd,and we haven't discussed this at all <laughter>. Um.
b,"Yeah,"
qy^d,"long way down the road, right."
ny,"Yeah,"
sd,exactly.
sd,"But, um, now I've noticed that like, while I'm at college, and when I go home, my bro-, you know, my, -"
sd,"I'm really close to the younger ones,"
sd,"and, um, like, when, when, like when I do go home they enjoy just laying around me, you know,"
sd,"like if we do watch T V at night, they just like enjoy just, like laying on top of me or something."
b,Yeah.
sd,They like that.
x,<Laughter>.
sd,"But, um, as far as that goes, like we play games,"
sd,"I play like Old Maid and Fish with them,"
sd,"and w-, we play board games,"
%,"and when it's ni-, -"
sd,"like I'm from Pennsylvania,"
sd,"so when it's nice out, we go outside,"
sd,and we like to play like kick ball and softball and stuff.
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"And in the summer everyone is like, I think there's like seven of us still at home,"
sd,"and all seven are in a sport,"
sd,like also (( )) the girls are in softball
sd,and the boys are in baseball.
sd,"So all summer we live on hamburgers and hot dogs and sports,"
sd,"that's it, you know."
%,"Well do you, do you, -"
qy,"so you go, if you're, if you're not doing any kind of sport thing you go to one of your sisters' or brothers' --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,-- sporting events.
ny,Yes.
+,And sort of like be there with them.
na,"Right,"
ny,"yeah,"
sd,we go and watch.
b,Yeah.
b,Uh-huh.
sv,"Well, that's, that's good, too, I mean, as far as entering,"
sv,"I mean, you're, you're participating,"
sv,"but you're not, you know."
b,Uh-huh.
sv,I mean at least you're encouraging them on and stuff
%,"and that's, -"
b,Yeah.
sd,"because, um, even if our kids, you know, get into sports that we're really not interested in, I don't, I want them, you know, to know that we're still there --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- so to speak, as a family."
sd,"Well, it's funny because, um, well, my mom and dad both were kind of athletic."
sd,"They both grew up on a farm,"
sd,"but although, you know, it wasn't them playing I notice like whenever I was playing softball and such, my mom and dad got into it more than I did."
sd,"I mean, they'd be in the audience screaming and yelling, # you know,"
%,so. # -
b,# Yeah.
bf,Cheering you on and stuff. #
sv,"A lot of times the parents get into it just as much as, as the kids,"
sd,"and I found, like a lot of times like when we went on to tournaments and stuff, it was really funny because the crowds would like get into argu-, you know, get into fights, who can scream louder, and you know, everything."
sd,"So it's really pretty funny to see my parents get into it,"
sd,and they're not really even participating.
b,"Yeah,"
sv,"well, that, that would be fun."
bf,"Boy, so you, you have a lot of experience as far as, you know, different ways a family can interact and, and do things together,"
aa,Yeah.
+,"as far as, -"
%,"go-, -"
%,twelve.
aa,Uh-huh.
%,But it's -
%,"so, if you're not, -"
%,"i-, -"
%,"what if, -"
qy,do people go off in their own little groups with that many?
qy,"I mean, did like some people go to their rooms and (( )) , -"
ny,"Yeah,"
%,"it's, um, -"
sd,"the, the one down thing about having that many people in our family is you real-, we really don't have any privacy when we're at home, because you couldn't possibly have a house with twelve bedrooms."
b,Yeah.
sd,"But, um, like I say, you know, I'm twenty, I'll be twenty-two next month,"
sd,and I'm closer to the younger kids than I am the ones my own age.
sd,"And that's, I think,"
b,Huh.
+,"that's because we-, the ones that are older all have their own little thing to do,"
sd,"and the younger kids are at home,"
sd,and I like to spend time with them.
b,Yeah.
qw,"But when you were growing up and they weren't, and the younger ones weren't around, what did you do?"
arp_nd,We were all pretty close when we were younger.
bk,"Oh, I see."
qy^d,"But now that they've all sort of moved off, -"
ny,"Yeah,"
sd,"now that we're getting older, people are get-, you know, each one of us are going our own direction."
b,Yeah.
b,Uh-huh.
%,"So, do you think, even, -"
qw,"I mean, what did you do when you were younger,"
qy,"did you go do the board games and stuff,"
qy,you still did what you do now.
ny,"Oh, yeah."
sd,"And, um, we, you know, we had blocks and stuff,"
sd,"and <laughter> we just did, we would make, -"
sd,"like in the winter when it wa-, -"
sd,we couldn't go outside because of the snow and stuff --
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"-- we, uh, <laughter> we would, um, <laughter> clear out our basement,"
sd,"and we would like, do, just, even stupid things,"
sd,"like we try hurtling our couches and stuff. You know, and. -"
qy^d,Hurling.
ny,"Yeah,"
sd,we would just run and jump over the couches.
bk,"Oh, hurtle,"
bk,"oh, okay."
b,"Yeah,"
sd,"to see who could jump over, you know."
sd,We just made up our own stupid little games.
sd,"And like hide and seek,"
sd,"well, we have a, a bigger house than a lot, you know,"
sd,our house isn't the average small one.
sd,So we could like play hide and go seek in our house and even stuff like that.
bf,"So you, you had a lot of games and things you played --"
aa,Yeah.
+,"-- even when you were kids with the ones that you, -"
sd,"Well see, they're, um, we're all, like we're all pretty close together."
sd,"Like, m-, my sister that's closest to me, we're only fourteen months apart."
b,Yeah.
sd,"So there was always, there was never just one alone, you know."
b,"Yeah,"
bf,"no, not real spread in age."
aa,Right.
sd,"So we were all pretty close where we, we always had a buddy to play with,"
b,Yeah.
+,you know.
ba,"Gosh, twelve,"
qy,"is that, is that pretty common up there, uh, in, -"
nn,"No,"
nn,"no,"
sd,not at all.
bk,"Oh, okay."
sd,Not at all <laughter>.
sd,"I don't meet, I mean, I don't speak with many people that come from families that large any more."
sd,I mean --
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- my, my husband's mother came from a family of thirteen,"
sd,"but, I mean, that's his mother --"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"-- you know,"
sv,"and, and their Catholic *they're"
%,"and, I mean that's, -"
b,"Well, yeah,"
sd,I'm Catholic <laughter>.
sv,"Well that's it then, I think,"
sv,"probably maybe that, that. -"
b,Uh-huh.
qy,"But, I mean, do you see yourself having thirteen kids --"
nn,"No,"
sd,not at all.
+,-- or twelve kids?
sd,Not at all.
b,Yeah.
sd,"But, see, um, when I was younger I used to say that I would like to have five."
sd,"Well, I've even cut that down now,"
sd,"and, um, but to me five wasn't even a lot, because I was just so used to twelve."
b,Yeah.
b,You know.
sv,"<Laughter> But it's so expensive, man."
aa,"But, yeah,"
sv,"it's so, it would be really hard now to have twelve children."
sv,"I would think for your parents it would be, it would still be hard even nowadays, I mean, just to raise twelve kids."
sd,"Well,"
sv,"Would be, shoosh."
+,"Well, okay, well like my oldest brother, he's, he's twenty-four,"
sd,"and he put himself through college,"
sd,"and, um, there's a sister older than me,"
sd,"she's still living at home,"
sd,but she works --
b,Yeah.
+,"-- you know,"
sd,"and I think she even gives mom and dad a little bit, you know, of rent money."
b,Yeah.
sd,"And I'm putting myself through college,"
sd,"and like I'm getting married in October,"
sd,and my fianc3e and I are paying for most of the wedding.
sd,"And then, then my brother right behind me, he moved out,"
sd,"and he has an apartment,"
sd,"and he works,"
sd,"and then the next one down is in the Marines,"
sd,and he's out of the house.
sd,"So, it's kind of like they don't, you know. -"
sv,"Well sometimes I think maybe the larger families create more independence in the children though, you know."
sv,I mean --
aa,"I, I think they do."
+,-- you don't expect anything because there is not enough to go around for everybody --
b,Uh-huh.
sv,"-- so you, you kind of have your own independence on going out and getting it yourself,"
aa,Exactly.
+,if you really want it.
sd,"Like, uh, well, I find it a lot when I'm up here at college because I've always had a bank account,"
sd,I've always had my own checking account since I was in like tenth grade.
b,Uh-huh.
sd,"You know, I would work in the summer,"
sd,"and there's a lot of kids up here that would have no idea how to even do a checkbook or, you know,"
b,Yeah.
+,"to, to manage money."
sd,"Like my roommate's <laughter> laughing at, you know, at me, you know, # because their schooling's paid for. #"
%,"# Or manage money or know, -"
%,"# yeah,"
qh,"know, you know, how to get, how to even go about getting money."
aa,"Yeah,"
aa,uh-huh.
qh,"You know, how to get a job or you know, just what, you know, what, when you get a job, what your responsibility is."
b,Yeah.
qh,"Are you going to blow all that money,"
sv,how easy it is to blow money you earn.
aa,Yeah.
sd,"And see, and then, my mom and dad, like whenever, like we would go out and we would get a summer job, -"
sd,"and then we would start blowing money,"
sd,"and my mom said, well that's stupid for you to be blowing money."
sd,"She goes, okay if your going to blow your money on other things, she goes, you can just pay for your life insurance."
sd,"So then we, when we all graduated from hi-, college, from high school,"
b,Uh-huh.
+,"we all got, -"
sd,"we're still, like I'm still covered under my mom and dad's life insurance because I'm still in school,"
sd,"but I have my own policy, too."
%,"So I had a poli-, -"
sd,"you know, my mom and dad got it set up, you know, you know, helped me to get it and everything,"
sd,"and I have my own policy,"
sd,and then I pay for my own life insurance too.
sv,"Wow,"
sd,And then --
+,you've really got responsibilities.
+,"-- And then, like, my mom and dad, because there's so many of us, and because of the way the laws are, you know, now, if we want to drive, we have to pay for our own insurance on our cars."
b,Yeah.
sd,"Because my mom said, that's silly to let one of the older one's drive it,"
sv,"if we were in a wreck, you know, you can be sued for anything now."
sd,And she said that's really not fair to the younger kids.
sv,If we were careless and was in a wreck and they got sued -
sv,"and then they can take everything away from my mom and dad,"
sv,and the little kids would have nothing.