the_witch_is_dead.md

THE WITCH IS DEAD

AN RPG ABOUT MURDER by Grant Howitt

Transcribed by Sebastian Osborn, then reformatted by Todd Bradley

Once upon a time, there was a kind and wise and beautiful witch who lived in the forest with her familiars, and her life was peaceful and happy until a FUCKING WITCH-HUNTER broke into her cottage and dragged her out and FUCKING MURDERED HER and now she's DEAD.

But if you get revenge and kill him and bring his EYES to her corpse within a week she'll come back to life. Or so you've heard. Even if it doesn't work, at least he's dead.

YOU ARE A CUTE WOODLAND ANIMAL

You have four traits:

CLEVER (interact with humans, understand them)
FIERCE (scare, drag, push, carry, bite, scratch)
SLY (sneak, steal, hide)
QUICK (outpace, climb, evade)

ROLL A D10 TO SEE WHAT YOU ARE

 1. FOX (C2 F2 S1 Q1)
 2. CAT (C0 F1 S3 Q2)
 3. TOAD (C1 F0 S2 Q1)
 4. SPIDER (C2 F0 S3 Q1)
 5. OWL (C3 F1 S1 Q2)
 6. HARE (C0 F0 S2 Q3)
 7. MAGPIE (C2 F1 S1 Q2)
 8. CROW (C2 F1 S2 Q1)
 9. DOG (C1 F3 S0 Q1)
10. RAT (C1 F0 S2 Q2)

YOUR WITCH TAUGHT YOU A SPELL (D10)

 1. UNSEEN HAND
 2. CONJURE LIGHT
 3. SPEAK HUMAN
 4. LOCK/UNLOCK, OPEN/CLOSE
 5. CONJURE DINNER
 6. MAKE FLAME
 7. TIDY, CLEAN AND MEND
 8. PLANT GROWTH
 9. DISTRACT/CONFUSE
10. MAKE BOOK READ ITSELF ALOUD

None of these are flashy - little bits of hedge magic to help out around the house. But they'll have to do.

THE WITCH-HUNTER has retreated to the VILLAGE, the FUCKING COWARD; get him.

THE VILLAGE IS (ROLL TWICE)

 1. UNDER THE THUMB OF THE BARON
 2. FILLED WITH CHEERY GNOMES
 3. CONTROLLED BY A CREEPY CULT
 4. DEVOUTLY RELIGIOUS
 5. INCREDIBLY SUPERSTITIOUS
 6. AT WAR WITH FOREST TRIBES
 7. BUILT AROUND A WIZARD COLLEGE
 8. FULL OF HARDY MINING FOLK
 9. SHADY AND DANGEROUS
10. OPPRESSIVELY PERFECT

THE WITCH-HUNTER IS

 1. ARMORED AND TOUGH
 2. WIZENED AND WISE
 3. DRUNK AND VIOLENT
 4. PIOUS AND AGGRESSIVE
 5. GUARDED AND COWARDLY
 6. MAGICAL AND JEALOUS
 7. CLEVER AND CRUEL
 8. DUPLICITOUS AND HIDDEN
 9. JOLLY AND WELL-MEANING
10. HEADSTRONG AND WILD

BUT HERE'S THE TWIST

(GM, ROLL, BUT KEEP IT A SECRET)

 1. THE VILLAGE ARE IN ON IT
 2. A RIVAL WITCH SET HER UP
 3. THE WITCH-HUNTER DIDN'T DO IT
 4. THE WITCH-HUNTER IS WAITING FOR YOU
 5. THE VILLAGE FOLK ARE HAVING A FESTIVAL
 6. THE WITCH-HUNTER DIED, AND IS BEING BURIED
 7. THERE ARE TWO (RIVAL) WITCH-HUNTERS IN TOWN
 8. THE VILLAGE IS ABANDONED
 9. THE WITCH-HUNTER HAS DRAGGED A SUSPECT UP FOR INTERROGATION
10. THE VILLAGE HATES HIM

WHEN YOU TRY TO DO SOMETHING, roll a D10 and add your most relevant trait. The GM tells you what number you need to equal or beat. If the task is dangerous, you gain a point of DANGER if you fail. If you ever roll equal to or under your DANGER, you're in serious trouble - dead, trapped, lost or captured. USING MAGIC IS ALWAYS DANGEROUS. The GM's characters don't use dice; they force you to roll them.

TASK RATING

 6 - Simple
 7 - Basic
 8 - Challenging
 9 - Difficult
10 - Near-impossible

Remember: most tasks that are normal to humans are really difficult for animals, unless they're broken down into smaller steps. Remember, you don't have opposable thumbs, and all you know of the human world is what the witch taught you. You can talk to other animals of the same, or similar species. (You can lower your danger by solving, or running away from, your problems.)

Name:	  _________________________________________________

Species: _________________________________________________

Clever:  ____  **Fierce:** ____  Sly: ____  Quick: ____

Current Danger: ____

Magic Spell You Know: ____________________________________

Notes, Revenge Plans, Vitriol: