aita_data_sample.csv

,author,title,selftext,link_flair_text,num_comments,score,upvote_ratio
3,Ahi209,AITA: Childcare duty split,"My wife and I have two beautiful small children, 2 years and 5 months old. My wife is a stay at home mom for the time being. I work in management consulting. 

The workload with the kids is, as one might expect, endless. We got an au pair to help out. She works 45 hours per week. 

When I’m off (usually weekends), we split the baby stuff between us. In addition, on weekdays I usually wake up with the toddler and stay with her for about 1.5 hours until I handover to either the wife or the au pair. 

The 5 months old is now going through an awful sleeping phase. He wakes up and finds it difficult to go back to sleep. This is disrupting my wife’s and my sleep, so we’re often groggy through the day. 

When the next day is a weekend day, I’m happy to shoulder the load. But I’ve asked my wife to let me sleep through the night on weeknights so that I’m able to focus at work the next day. She tells me that she also has a job the next day with the kids, so it’s unfair for her to shoulder the nighttime alone. I acknowledge that, but I tell her that she has help during the day and can take a nap in the afternoon with the little one to compensate, while I need to stay focused at work. 

As you can imagine, this argument usually becomes heated. I don’t know how to resolve this situation. I’m fully acknowledging that her workload is very high. But so is mine. I often work 15 hours a day and I’m pushing for a promotion so that we can buy a house and settle in. Am I the asshole here?",,1,1,1.0
4,No_Accident_1469,WIBTA if I decided to sue my friend?,"To make this short and sweet I used to run an OF. I got burnt out and decided to call it quits since I want to move on and my husband was worried about my mental state. Its been a few months since I stop but I recently notice that my photos has been going around to some sketchy websites I was heavily concern. I was able to trace it back and found out that ""Dee"" has been using my stuff and posting and pretending to be me. Since my face isn't on the the photos she thought it was fine to take them. I told her that I didn't  feel comfortable and to please take them down. She yelled at me saying I had it all and this was her chance making some extra cash and its not hurting anyone. But I just really don't feel comfortable and my huaband says I should definitely take legal action. I know Dee has some struggles but I just feel weirded out the fact she uses my stuff. WIBTA if I decided to sue her?",,1,1,1.0
10,Imaginary-Agent-3348,AITA for hating my friend’s boyfriend,One of my close friends Emma has been dating this guy Ben (not real names) and Ben’s a nice guy and all he’s just really fucking annoying like he will not stop talking in class and also he’s friends with this one girl who’s been a real bitch to me and his girlfriend but he doesn’t do anything about it and also he doesn’t know what personal space is and sometimes I just wanna tell him to shut up but I don’t because that’s mean but tbh I’m just waiting for them to break up so I don’t have to act so friendly with him anymore. What should I do/AITA for feeling like this,,1,1,1.0
11,Fluffy_Chicken1,AITA for sitting on my lawn and unnerving my neighbor?,"Incident 1 - Fence broke dogs got out, we didn't know until animal cops show up with a $50 ticket for dog on the loose call in by ""John"". Ok, in the wrong paid ticket.

Incident - 2 my 1 yr old dog gets out when my 7 yr old opens the door. I go chasing after him. UPS drives up at the top of street, pup bursts after him. Driver sees me and rather than wait literally 5 secs for me to grab the dog he turns the corner onto my street to give a package to John. I'm trying to catch the dog. John races around the corner in his jeep. Dog goes after the Jeep. The UPS driver and John never stop moving long enough for me to catch up to my dog. The whole time he is barking and running after both of them and I'm in the middle chasing after him. My dog is not scary or very big, just a herding dog trying to herd them. John has a dog. Finally UPS drives down the street almost running over my dog and I and get him inside. Animal cops show up with another $50 ticket with John being the one on the ticket who called. Paid the stupid ticket.

Incident 3 - Pup runs past the 7 year old again. 12 year old and I go racing after him almost catch him and here comes John around the corner, almost hitting my kid. I get the dog back inside. Minutes later here comes the animal cops with another $50 ticket. I take the ticket and go over to Johns front door and tell him to stop calling cops on me if I am actively trying to catch my dog and leave my family the F alone. (Yes I swore) he asked: ""who are you?"". WTH??  We have lived kitty corner from each other for years, he saw me less than an hour before getting my dog. Words are exchanged I basically said ""leave my family alone"" & because I know better than to threaten I simply said ""I'll be sure to call the cops on you if I see you do ANYTHING illegal"". I decided to sit outside and sure enough here comes a cop who pulls up to Johns house gets his story and walks up to me. I told him exactly what I said & the cop told me he could ticket me for ""disturbing the peace"" apparently you can't swear at your neighbor. I was told to stay off his property, I agreed. 

Next day I set up a table out front & legally cleaned my gun. Over the spring I sat on my lawn with my computer or kids or music and watched his house. He works in his garage with it open when the weather is nice. I can't see directly into it but we both knew of each other's presence.  I have spent hundreds, since to train my dog and he is better. I have not seen the cops again. AITA for sitting and watching my neighbor from my front lawn for weeks and unnerving him?",,1,1,1.0
12,DungeonMuggle9000,"AITA for eating expired, garbage yogurt?","My husband(29M) and I(29F) were cleaning our kitchen and making donuts together. I went to throw something in the trash and noticed he'd just thrown out some yogurt I'd said I'd eat. I exclaimed ""you threw out my yogurt!"" But it wasn't a big deal, I wasn't mad, just surprised. He said ""it's expired,"" which, yes it was past it's best before date (by three days) but that doesn't mean it's gone bad.

I tried to explain to him that best before is just a suggestion and does not mean it's no longer good, but he got mad and said ""I'm not going to let you eat it. You can't eat expired dairy products.""

That made me mad because who does he think he is to tell me what I can and can't do? So I pulled a yogurt out of the garbage and ate it it front of him.

He immediately stopped making donuts and left to do his own thing. I said ""so you're just done and we're fighting now?""

He said ""I'm not going to put up with you.""

And then we didn't speak for an hour while I finished the donuts and he did his own thing.

I know pulling a yogurt out if garbage was extreme, but it just really made me mad that he thought he could dictate what I could eat. I've also tried to explain best before dates are a scam a million times but he refuses to listen.

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
16,BrilliantPrint1,AITA for getting upset at my fiancé for telling me that it's tough not to cheat on me?,"We have been together for 7 years and engaged for almost a year. He's never been unfaithful to me (to my knowledge) and I've never had a reason not to trust him. This evening, we were having a discussion about people who cheat — just a casual chat with each of us giving our input on the topic. So, I hypothetically ask him ""if you were in a situation where a woman was throwing herself all over you, would you cheat?"" and he said, ""no, but it would be tough not to"". I said seriously? Then he starts explaining how men are just different from women in that regard and it's hard to say no if a woman is all over your pecker. He always calls me a ""snowflake"", so IDK if this is a normal response or if I'm reading into it too much. AITA for getting a bit bothered by this?",,1,1,1.0
21,Feisty-Insurance-696,AITA for disobeying my (23F) mom (49F) and sleeping over my bfs (25M) house,"
i recently started dating my boyfriend this year, we’ve been dating for about 7 months. The only problem is he lives an hour or more (depending on traffic) from me, in between school and work, I get too tired to drive home. It’s not that bad of a drive, but my biggest issue is that there is no parking near my apartments. It gets packed by 5 pm. I live on a steep and dark hill, and the only parking available is at the bottom of the hill. I get too scared to walk up a cold and dark hill in the middle of the night. Sometimes my parents will give me rides up the hill so I won’t have to walk and possibly endanger myself, but it’s not always possible for me to get home early (they sleep early for work) for them to do that. So I just stay over my boyfriends house (his parents are extremely approving of me and love having me over often, they are amazing people, but I still try not to overstay my welcome.) 

However when my mom found out about me sleeping over, she got extremely angry with me because of her morals. She is an extremely conservative catholic. My dad who has been abusive in the past, but has been fine for these past couple of years, was actually completely okay with it. He told me he was fine with me sleeping over as long as I let him know I’m okay and when I’m coming home. My mom told me that I should come home early to avoid going up the hill, but that’s not always possible because of the crazy traffic (I live in the Los Angeles area). I told her about this and how I’m scared to walk up at night, and she just goes “oh well, you’re going to have to walk up then.” 

I usually don’t disobey my mom. She helps me a lot by not charging me rent. I’ve been in my worst mental state for a while so seeing my boyfriend is the only thing that helps me destress. (I deal with seasonal depression in the winter). I also tend to hide in my room at home anyways because my parents and I tend to disagree a lot politically, and it leads to arguments, and this tended to lead to my dads abusive outbursts in the past. 

Recently she got so angry I didn’t finish my laundry and that I wasn’t home, she threw all of my stuff in my room, and she also broke the Christmas present that my boyfriend made me. 

AITA for disobeying her orders?",,1,1,1.0
22,filondo,"AITA for refusing to let my son see ""Strange World"" because of the gay scene?","I've looked up the scene and I find it to be way too much for a 10-year-old boy to see. I don't want him to have to learn about this yet, so I cancelled our trip to the movies and now he's upset and keeps asking me why. I feel kinda bad now because he'd been asking to see it. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
23,sumvenom,AITA for telling my family I don’t want to go to florida for a vacation,"(The trip is literally next month and I’d need like $1,000 by next month) So for context my mom has wanted a family trip to Disney world for my entire life, I’m 21 now. But the problem is I have to pay for everything for myself. I don’t have the money to go and I’m a little behind on credit card payments from being out of work for a short while. So I told them no and then I start getting told that I have to go or I’m going to “break my mothers heart”. 

I’ve 

I feel like I have a fair reason to not go but maybe not.",,1,1,1.0
25,BubbleBladeBunz,WIBTA If I asked my BF to be quiet / stop talking for a bit,"Bf and I are both around 30, both autistic and have some special interests. His special interests are heavily based in current events and politics etc. 

We often have long discussions but he dominates most of them as he has a lot to say - if I show him a quick tik tok he will start ranting for 40 minutes over the content of the video. Sometimes I watch a youtube video or something, and he will start talking about what I am watching. I have to pause and listen. If I unpause too quickly he says I am rude. I cant tell you how many times I've ended up not finishing my video, just turning everything off and getting ready for bed, be in bed already, and he is still talking! 

I often enjoy the conversation, but sometimes his whole info dump is just all the reasons why the creator I am watching is bad because they annoy him or are ""fake"" or their content is not appealing to him etc... basically its more critique on the quality of content i watch than a real discussion. Its not like I force him to watch with me, I often put head phones on so I dont disturb his gaming. 

Now again, I am more than happy to listen to him expressing his opinions, but I have had a bit of an overwhelming festive season, and had to see a lot of people. I am completely drained, and want to have some time to power down and just watch my stuff without interuption or long chats. I dont want to be rude, and due to my autistic ... isms... i have no idea what is acceptable and what isn't. And i dont want him to feel like he cant talk to me about what ever he wants to express. 

So... WIBTA if I asked him to not talk to me for a little bit so I can watch my stuff in peace?",,1,1,1.0
26,brokenhearted5,AITA for begging for forgiveness?,"My ex and I ended but wanted to try to remain friends…it was too hard and I said I didn’t think I could - after thinking about it I reached out and he wouldn’t speak to me - I called him and he accidentally answered and I heard a girl - and I kinda lost my shit and texted some angry stuff.  He blocked me. I realized I was wrong and proceeded to apologize I was genuinely sorry. I asked how I could make it right…acknowledged how wrong I was. A few emails over a month…and he refuses to respond. We were together for three years and he refuses to speak to me. I’ve sent a handwritten letter, emails. I don’t make excuses - I accept responsibility admitted I was wrong and want to be a better person - and I’m sorry not for me but for the things I said to him….am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
27,bkidwbfll728936,AITA for getting violent after getting catcalled,"For context, I am a women and as a lot of people, I often get catcalled. It is so recurrent that it happens at least once or twice a day. Now, I always had a lack of confidence that made me an easier target for catcallers but in the last years I have decided that I would no longer let it slide. So last night, I went out to a bar with a friend (f). We were sitting outside next to each other and a random guy grabbed a chair and decided to take a seat in front of us at our very small table for two people to sit at. He was looking at us with THE look (for people that often get catcalled I bet you know what look I am talking about). I asked him if he needed something and he just responded no and stayed there. And then I asked again several times if he wanted something as he responded no every time. I calmly started to say that he was bothering us (we were FaceTiming a friend before he arrived) and asked him to go away. He responded no. I told him multiple times that he was bothering us and that we didn’t want him at our table and we asked him to leave again. His responses were “no”, “why would I need to leave”, “I don’t speak English very well”, “I can’t hear what you are telling me” while getting closer of course. After he told us he “couldn’t hear us” I decided to react with a really loud “sir you are bothering us, would you please leave” and he said no. Mind you, we were surrounded by people who sat at nearby tables and that could clearly hear what I just said but no one reacts. That man was clearly on drgs. I told him “if you don’t leave now I will call the security or the police” he responded “go ahead”. The adrenaline took over and I told him “if you don’t leave now I will kick your ass” and he stayed there. So I got up, went next to him and asked him one last time to leave. He was clearly amused by the situation and by the fact that my friend was scared. I then told him “I am going to grab your chair please go away”, no reaction, so I took his chair and he just fell down as I pulled it towards me. I don’t think I pulled hard but the guy was on drugs so he had no balance. The guy tries to get up and falls on empty tables next to us. He finally stood up and only at that moment everyone surrounding us finally reacted. People came to take him away. The incident ended here but then people next to us told us that the reaction I had was so dangerous for a women, I could have been killed, I should have called the security (mind you there is one security guard for three bars on the street, the guard arrived when the other guy had already been taken by clients), I should have waved at the bar tenders inside (I realized afterwards that they could not see us from inside because we were sitting behind a wall anyway), etc. I now feel guilty because I put me, my friend and the people sitting next to us in danger but I am also so tired of this situation. Always getting harassed, catcalled, assaulted and never doing or saying anything. So I started wondering AITA here?",,1,1,1.0
29,challengerandom,AITA for cancelling my engagement instead of supporting my bf with getting over his ex gf?,"I 22F have been together with Elijah 26M for 1,5 years now. And we recently got engaged and decided to throw a small celebration with friends and family. Elijah joined the military when he was 20 and 1 year later he started dating Anna who is in the military as well. after 1,5 years of dating Anna, Anna left to another country for a mission. Nobody knew where she went or if she would ever return. Obviously Elijah was all broken. Before dating Elijah I asked him multiple times if he still loved Anna and this is what he said ""Anna has stayed in the past, but you my love, you are my future my present and my life"". Everything has been great from that moment on until now. 
Here is the issue. Anna has returned to the country. I could see on elijah's face that he was shocked and didn't know what to do. Anna's return means that they will have to work together again on certain cases. I asked him again if he loved Anna and this time, he didn't answer. The next day I said ""Will you leave me now Anna is back? Do you still love her? Please tell me the truth. If you love Anna we can split with good memories and no one has to know what happened. But don't put me in a position where I'm that woman who is the rebound cause you couldn't get over your ex"". He looked me dead in the eye and after a minute of silence he said ""Anna won't be a problem"". Well his colleagues threw a party where everyone brings their partner. 
 
 
He said, “you won’t like it so just stay home I’ll stay your ill” Mind you Elijah has never done this before. He knows I wouldn’t leave him alone even if I don’t like it. We attend the party and Elijah keeps staring at a woman. I walked over to introduce myself to the woman and Elijah tried to stop me. I genuinely wanted to meet his coworkers and I wanted to pay my respect for their service. I ignored Elijah and walked to the woman and to my surprise it was Anna. I didn’t want to make a scene, so we just talked a bit, and I left the party. Me and Elijah got in a huge fight about him not telling me that Anna would be there and not wanting me to go to her and him just staring at her. After this Elijah started to get home later than usual and he started to drink more. Sometimes he would come home totally wasted and he even called me Anna a few times. I tried to help him, but I cannot let myself be in a situation where I’m the woman who was never actually loved. Even though it’s 1,5 years later I realized Elijah never stopped loving Anna. I called off the engagement and told Elijah “I’m happy Anna is safe and is back in her home country and her family, however I cannot say the same about me. Since the day Anna has returned you have changed. You never really loved me the way you loved her and yet you loved me so beautiful. I wish you the best with Anna but I wish you wouldn’t have broken me the way Anna has broken you.” My friends called me childish, and they said I should have supported my bf with getting over Anna. They said I’m a huge AH for leaving at the first big obstacle. So reddit AITA?",,1,1,1.0
30,Jqf27,AITA for using my husband's water bottle for the dog?,"Me and my husband (mid 30s)  got a new puppy. We are still trying to establish a schedule for him but typically trade off on time ""monitoring"" him. I still do about 80% of the work because he works and im in school, but on winter break. 

My husband loves juice, but needed to limit his intake because of the sugar. We had been using these glass jars (16). I bought them for him, I fill them, I clean them. The metal lids were getting rusted quickly so I threw out the originals and bought new ones. (20) these are still 12oz bottles but with plastic lids. Since there were 4 extra I filled them with water and put them in the fridge. 

I want to insert here that I do all the housework/home management even though im in school full time. He works 40hrs a week, takes the trash down, and helps with dishes if I cook a elaborate meal. We also have no mortgage on our home because I bought it outright and he pays for everything else. 

I came back this morning from walking the dog and grabbed one filled with water and poured it into his bowl. Refilled it and replaced it. Since no one drank out of it and its all the same water. My husband was livid saying he didn't want to drink after a dog. I replied ""then don't drink out of his bowl"" he said those bottles were for him to monitor his juice and I said that the water was not juice and they are extra from the original 12 anyways. I also pointed out he doesn't monitor it, that I do! He said sometimes he likes to substitute water. I told him to use a cup then. He kept saying to stop using HIS bottles for the dog. I told him that until he steps up and helps more that I will use whatever I want. He has now taken all the bottles upstairs to put in his mini fridge. I have gone back up and taken the 4 bottles back. He told me I was being a bitch and has locked his door. He didn't come down for dinner and I didn't save any, and gave his portion to the dog. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
31,Throwaway067149,AITA for not realizing I was emotionally draining someone?,"Throw away account 
I was talking to a girl that I've met on a game, and we were hitting it off, laughing, watching movies, and usual dating stuff. I thought things were going great until she stopped talking to me, I've tried to reach out to her on social media, but it did nothing. A few months later, I decided to reach out to her brother, I ask if she was OK and he responded that she was, I asked if I could talk to her and he said no and that he hated me and that he doesn't want me talking to her. According to him, I was ""emotionally abusing"" her and that I ""emotionally drained"" her. I had no idea I was doing that, I'm not someone who's used to dating, but I know communication is a key factor, she wanted me to talk about what was wrong but if I asked, she wouldn't say anything was wrong. For the longest time, I thought she used me like with a previous relationship, come to find out she just didn't have it in her to communicate it (her brother said that). 
So am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
32,throwadidalidoaway,AITA for being mad at my boss for getting me a Christmas present?,"I know this is after Christmas but I'm just kind of seething about it.

I am in a higher position than most of my co-workers. And HR showed up and handed them a card with their paychecks 3 weeks ago that showed they got $100 added to their paychecks as a Christmas "" bonus"" or  Christmas ""present"". On this day, I receive nothing. Even though I physically watched HR handout the cards. Coincidentally, I am close enough with the people under me as soon as one of them opened it they exclaimed, "" Oh! $100!"". This coworker has been with the business for 3 months, I have been here almost 2 years.  Firstly, I'm annoyed about this for my coworkers, because if you're getting a Christmas present, $100 added to your paycheck sucks, because, taxes. However, I did not get anything. Naturally I thought, since I'm in a higher position than my co-workers, I would get something special, or extra.

2 weeks after my co-workers got their "" present "", I received my present in the mail. It was $100 gift card to a restaurant in a different city 45 minutes away from where I live. This makes sense as headquarters is in the city.

However, I am livid. I feel like this is almost, obnoxiously, a slap in the face. I am so upset that my coworkers, even though they had to pay taxes, got a 'cash' Christmas present, while I am stuck with a gift card to a restaurant in a different city. HR can't even argue that they can't make it to my city, as they were physically present 3 weeks ago to hand my coworkers their Christmas ' present'. Cash would have been preferable cuz I could have spent it on what I want, but since this is a gift card I have no option for using this Christmas present other than where it is due. That said, I did get $100 instead of just stuff added to my paycheck and then taxed, so I should be grateful... Right? I am trying to be grateful... 

I don't know if it's because I'm younger or whatever, but when I mentioned my present to my older coworkers, they said they would rather have the gift card, make the drive to the restaurant, and make it a day excursion then the cash they got in the paycheck since it is technically lower than what I received.

Either way I am very upset, I am a higher up position and I expected to get more than my other coworkers since I am making way more for the company than they are. Not only did I get technically equal to what they got. They got cash and I got a gift card to a location that is very inconvenient for me. 

AITA?  Or at least justified in my annoyance?",,1,1,1.0
34,Leather_Republic_326,AITA for wanting a supportive partner?,"I could use some guidance or advice. my partner and I are arguing because he asked me to check settings on a game for our daughter and I couldn’t figure it out so that our daughter can keep playing it safely. Instead of him just trying to figure it out, he pointed out that I am so much more tech savvy than him so supposedly I was using weaponized incompetence and said I just didn’t want to do it. Which isn’t true. Then he told our daughter that since I couldn’t figure it out she would need to delete the app. And then after some tears from her he deleted it and then when he couldn’t delete fully he took the iPad away. Then said that since I wouldn’t help, she lost access to the iPad. This all happened a few days ago. Fast forward to today, he was able to figure it out when he took the time to. But then got on me about how easy it was and that I should have been able to and upset that he feels lied to. I really have a hard time with this because I told him I didn’t know nor did I have the capacity, I just feel so torn down by it all. Not to mention, my daughter from another relationship is going through a really rough mental health diagnosis and I don’t have much capacity for much else lately. I hoped for a supportive partner that will just help where it’s needed without pointing out all my flaws. I’m having a really hard time with this. I told him he makes my skin crawl and that I couldn’t even look at him because of how he’s treating me and making me feel…
Is there anything that I can do to show him how wrong he is for what he did? A video, article, anything. Or am I the problem?",,1,1,1.0
35,PotatoSaladSymptom,AITA for not getting involved in my siblings wedding,"I'll try to make this short and to the point.

I'm in my late 20s and I haven't had a great relationship with my brother while growing up. We are only 3 years apart, and he's basically wanted nothing to do with me for my entire life.  Aside from maybe 1-2 instances, I can't recall him ever being genuinely nice to me. He constantly degraded and insulted me.  I was always a fat, stupid, idiot that couldn't do anything right.  Most of the time he doesn't even tell people that I exist.  When we ended up at the same high school, most of his friends didn't even know he had a brother. When we were teenagers at the same employer, they also had no idea he had a brother.  We went to different colleges but got the same degree.  

He never calls me, texts me or emails me. I'm not sure if he even knows my phone number. We aren't connected on any social media. He doesn't invite me over to his house and we never hang out. I honestly don't even know his address.  I went on a trip and lived abroad for a few months recently, and he never contacted me once. I ended up contracting COVID while abroad and he never reached out to see how I was doing. 

He got engaged to his girlfriend while I was away and he never bothered to tell me. I ended up finding out from my parents. I can safely say that for as long as I've been alive, I can't count more than 5 things my brother has done for me.  However, I have done a bunch of favors for him. I've helped him move, take care of his dog, offered him tickets to a sports game, etc. When he was in the hospital for an acute illness, I spoke with him to see how he was doing and wished him well. 

I talked to my mom about this countless times. Everytime she says she'll speak to him, then comes back to me afterwards and tells me not to worry because he'll be different now. Nothing ever changes. 

My brother called me up and asked if I would be a groomsmen at his wedding. I told him I didn't want to do it if it involves me having any responsibilities. I don't want to deal with my brother ordering me around and criticism of everything I do. First he said it didn't involve anything, then he said he wasn't exactly sure. I said I didn't know then, and I'd have to let him know. 

Now my parents are mad at me, telling me I'm being a dick and an asshole for not just saying yes. I told them I'd call him up right away, agree to do anything he wanted without question if they could name two things in the last 5 years that he has done for me. They couldn't name a single thing... 

Now my mom is telling me that if I don't say yes, she doesn't want me to go to the wedding. She says everyone is going to think I'm the asshole for not doing it. 

Am I The Asshole?",,1,1,1.0
36,Prudent-Sympathy315,AITA for leaving my cheating husband sit in jail,"So this was a few years ago I (f 40) was married to my exhusband (m 42) when I was in my 20s. We were together a total of 7 yrs married 3. He had outstanding fines from an accident he caused in my car (it was totaled and impounded and he never replaced it) about 2 months before our marriage ended he got a job (he barely worked) and he started to immediately act weird. He wouldn’t call me on his breaks, stopped wanting me to pick him up from work etc. I’m not a fool and asked him if he was cheating (he did cheat before) he called me crazy and threatened to leave me if I didn’t get help. I wanted to work on our marriage so I went and sought a therapist. A week later I pick him up from work (he called and asked me to) and he tells me he’s leaving me cause he can’t do it anymore. I let him leave I cried and abt 4 days after he left he called me and said he wanted a divorce he’s got a new girl. (Sorry so long a lot of back story) so abt a month after he left me I ended up in the hospital er (illness) and he saw me. He sent his new woman in to see me and tell me she is 2 months pregnant. I was pissed he would send her in to speak to me. I had a nurse remove her and when I was released they were waiting in the parking lot wanting to talk. I got in my car and left didn’t know they were following me. I went to my now husbands work site and there was a big fight. They took off and left with him driving. Now this may be where I might be the Ahole. I know he didn’t have a DL and I may have told my husband (let’s call him W) that he doesn’t. W called the police and abt 2 hours later my ex (let’s call him C and his woman let’s call K) had K call me and ask if I paid his fines because C had a warrant out for his arrest. I told her sure I did and let me find the paperwork(I knew I didn’t pay but I was being a bit petty cause of the hospital bs). K constantly called for a week then I told her I didn’t pay and he can sit in jail. She called me an Ahole and a slew of other names and said I was just jealous of their relationship. I told her I’ve done moved on but I just need an outsiders perspective. AITA for letting my ex sit in jail.",,1,1,1.0
37,Lady-Bates,"AITA My mom says that I (27 f, married) cannot have a relationship with my dad",I (27 f) am married with two children of my own. I recently thought it might be nice to see my dad more and go out for lunch once or twice a month. My own husband hangs out with my dad sometimes and I feel like I’m missing out on a relationship with him. When I approached him with this he was all for it but my mom had an issue with it. She accused me of being “weird” and “lonely” (my husband travels for work here and there but nothing extraordinary) for wanting to go on “dates with my daddy”. I just feel really hurt and confused by the whole situation and refuse to speak to my mom anymore outside of family counseling which my dad convinced my mom to attend. She was disrespectful to me the entire session (rolling her eyes and huffing when I spoke) and reiterated that she felt it was “inappropriate” for me to go out to lunch with my biological father (her husband of 32 years). The therapist basically told her that there wasn’t anything wrong with me wanting that and he hopes his own daughter will want that when she’s an adult. But he told me that their relationship is between them and it’s up to them to set boundaries. If they agree that it’s not good for their marriage I have to accept that and then set my own boundaries (i.e. end the relationship etc). The goal of therapy is reconciliation but I don’t know how I can do it. I feel like nobody is really acknowledging how crazy it is for my mom to be acting like this. Am I overreacting or is my mom crazy?,,1,1,1.0
42,Ok_Meringue_3313,AITA for asking my roommate to take out the hair after shower,"I live in a dorm in a shared room. My roomie is 20, and i’m much older. (randomly arranged roomate from a dorm)
It’s a room with a toilet for both of us.
I’ve been living with her for few months and she hasn’t been cleaning her hair and leave the toilet very watery nearly every day (she did for very few times). It didn’t frustrate me much because I understand that it’s very new for her to live alone away from her family. 
Since we are planning to live for another few months, I asked her with a smile, ‘Hey I’m so so sorry but could you please take the hair out after shower?’ And she seemed very apologetic and did it so much better after then. I thought everything was getting better but I recently knew that she has been very upset about it, she even had to take some time to handle her emotions.
I genuinely got shocked because I would never want someone to be upset about what I said so I really need your honest opinion, AITA, and if yes, what could I have done better?",,1,1,1.0
43,bunnyoly,AITA for not wanting to hang with my friends?,"My friends are the kind of people that have loads of energy and are heaps of fun to be around. However they are both jobless, do nothing to change that, and I consistently end up being the one to cover the Ubers or bill. They both don’t drive so I am also the only one who makes the effort to travel or will drive us all places, so add fuel and car expenses to that list. I know however if they did have the money, they would do their part and it wouldn’t be a hassle. But they’re just so unwilling to change their situation. This last weekend we went out with a few other people, I ended up spending a significant amount of money on a taxi, asked the group to pay me back, then we got home and they only had $5 and couldn’t. I don’t know what to do anymore",,1,1,1.0
44,aitanyeparty0,AITA for not kicking out my roommates ex boyfriend from our NYE house party,"Posting this two days late cause I was too hungover yesterday 

I’m 23 and I have two roommates the same age, Bryan and Kelsey. 

Kelsey recently broke up with her boyfriend. Apparently it was a “bad breakup” with some fighting but I don’t know all the details. I don’t have an issue with her ex. 

On NYE I threw a house party. We were all drinking and people were coming and going. Around 11 a group of people showed up and Kelsey’s ex was with them. 

When she saw him she started freaking out and told me that I needed to get him to leave. I didn’t want to start something so I just said I wasn’t going to kick him out and she should just avoid him. 

I saw them arguing outside later on in the night and Kelsey hasn’t spoken to me since the party. 

Bryan thinks I should’ve just kicked him out and seeing how upset it made Kelsey I’m thinking maybe he’s right. But at the same time I didn’t want to start something when everyone was having a good time and she could’ve just kicked him out herself if she really wanted. So AITA?",,1,1,1.0
46,kt1213,"AITA for not giving my neighbor who has ""cancer"" money?","My (27f) fiancé and I have been living at this apartment for a year and a half. On 5 different occasions, someone who claimed to be our neighbor would ring our doorbell and ask for money. She would pull out her ID and tell me that she is short on money and needs to get her medication, and that when she gets paid, she would pay us back. The first time it happened, I opened the door and she was in tears, saying she has leukemia and really needed her medication, so I helped her out with $20. The second time, my fiancé opened and gave her another $20. The third time, my fiancé opened the door and told her that he didn't have cash on him. The 4th time, I just acted like I wasn't home. She came back today and I acted like I wasn't home. After about 5 minutes, I opened our door to see if it was Amazon with a package i ordered. She saw me and came back asking me for money because she really needed medication and she just found out she had cancer?? I don't believe her, so i told her that i dont carry cash on me. But a part of me is telling me that I should have just given her some cash on the off chance she is telling the truth. AITA for not giving my neighbor money?",,1,1,1.0
47,BackdooR_ViiRuS,AITA for telling my GF to go build her life,"Me (26 M) and my GF (24 F) have been dating for almost two years. She was recently given a chance to move to Georgia with her family in order to attend and complete nursing school. She's not really able to do that here because I can't watch her son while working 60 hour weeks and attending school part time - full time all online. We have not been working out this past year at all. Ever since I started my current job it's been non stop fighting about anything and everything under the sun. Her number one complaint is that I don't do anything. This isn't so. Anytime I'm able to I clean or run for groceries. But a lot of time I myself am struggling to find any time to do anything with me constantly working or being in class. I work construction 6 days a week and she works 3 days a week and yet expects me to do it all while maintaining the house as well.

This has recently led me to being extremely upset and just over it all with her because I feel like I'm non stop. I told her to go and that we just need to be done as a couple before her son turns 3. It's better we end this now then when he's older and has more memories of me. Also it's a no brainer opportunity to go live with her family and go back to school herself to be able to further herself. She sees this as me being selfish but I don't get it. We're not working out, we haven't been and we won't. And instead of just leaving and getting it over with she's constantly dragging it all out, threatening to tell the landlord various issues that have occurred that I have fixed (we're suppose to go straight to landlord and not fix it ourselves).

I think I'm just over being with anyone and I just want to be solo for awhile. The kid isn't mine but I treat him like he is. I'd rather be done and over with this because it feels like a lot of her anger she directs at me is leftover from the loser she decided to let fill her up. There's also some weird jealousy she holds for my ONLY neice and nephew that I don't understand. 

TLDR: AITA for telling her she needs to leave me, move to Georgia and further herself in life versus staying with me and remaining obviously unhappy?",,1,1,1.0
49,AvailableWerewolf582,AITA for not buying someone food in my friendship group food ( despite buying food for everyone else ),"So I ( 16m) have a friendship group of 10 we all are really good friends but recently someone joined are group (16m let call him Alex ) me and alex aren’t friends but we get along .

Well the issue all started when me and some of my friends went to the movies also alex was there .after the movie me and my friend decided to get food since we really didn’t eat at the movies , I decided that I was going to treat my friends to a nice dinner ( thank kinda a thing we do ) anyway the food comes and we eat it when the bill comes I pay for my friends but then I said to Alex that I’m not going to pay for his meal he was confused and said that he thought that I was going to pay for his meal to I said no and that he never got me nothing when we got something to eat and also when he has asked me to pay for my own food after he pays for my friends food I don’t say anything . After that It kinda got heated and now some of my friends are saying I’m an asshole for what I did and that they can’t believe that I did that and are refusing to speak to me . 

Now I’m conflicted if I’m the asshole and that I should have just payed for his food . ATIA",,1,1,1.0
50,PersephoneisHalfHell,AITA because I didn't take my partner somewhere I said I would?,"So, my partner lost his licence (speeding, on purpose and knowingly), and so for the next six months I get to drive him around most of the time. 

We went out to get some swimming gear for our kids, however he needed to wait until his kids arrived from their mum to check their sizes. I said okay, we'll go home and head out later. When we got home, I went out into the garden, which is my one place to engage in a hobby and have alone time. 

(This bit is relevant to my response later). 

He has 3 kids (he shares care) and I have 2 (full time care). I also work full time, and he does shift work. Because I have full-time care and have no family support, I rarely get a break. I can't go out with friends or activities because my kids need to be supervised, and so being in the garden is the one place I can get away from them but still be home. His shift work gives him a lot more time not working as his shifts are predictable, he can sleep on night shift and then has days free while kids are at school.

We got home around 130pm, and I headed out. His kids were due home at 3.30, and the store shut at 5. I have asked him many, many times to let me know ahead of time what will be happening as I'm usually the planner, and I often have a lot I'm juggling so need to work things in. He often changes plans and forgets to tell me, and then says sorry but he forgot. 

Around 3.30 he hadn't said anything, and I didn't know if he still wanted to go. I sent him a text asking him what the plan was, and went back to gardening. 10 minutes later his ex rocked up with the kids and went inside (something I've asked not to happen for a long list of reasons). I text him asking him to not let her in. He replies ""Busy. Stop."", so I leave it be and go back to gardening. 

Finally at 4.30pm he comes down and asks if we can go now. I'm really frustrated because he hasn't replied or communicated anything, only decided that because I said yes earlier, I'd drop whatever I was doing to go. I say no, I'm not going, you haven't given me any warning. 

He walks off, I text a few minutes later and say fine, I'll take you, but things need to change, and he responds that his mum is taking them instead. 

Since then, he continues to argue that I should have know what time we'd be going, and that I should have been aware what is agreed to. I said that if I'm doing a favour for him (which I only have to do because of his poor decision), the least he can do is communicate a time frame that's less than an hour and a half, so I can pack up what I'm doing rather than just go when he says.

He's adamant that he's right, and maybe IATA because I said I'd go and then didn't take him. 

But I feel upset and frustrated that I'm the planner and communicator overall, and then when I don't plan for him, he says it's my fault for not dropping what I was doing because of something I'd agreed to earlier. 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
51,Big_Prior9841,AITA for calling out my ex for still contacting my little sister?,"I (17f) broke up with my now ex (18m) over a year ago, it was messy but I have not contacted him since the beginning of 2022 and have since removed him of everything. For the new year all the people around our age go to a certain town for a holiday, which is small so I was bound to bump into him at some point which I did. New Year’s Eve night I saw him and this girl walking around together and I know for a fact he saw me see them together. This does not bother me at all but what he did next did. The next morning I get a text from my little sister who is 14 years old saying that my ex had sent her a Snapchat of him and this girl in bed. Of course I was livid that he contacted my younger sister an inappropriate photo which was obviously meant to get to me but I decided not to confront him when I saw him the next night because I was very drunk and I knew it wouldn’t go down well. Yesterday after everyone had left where we all were staying I decided to text him and call him out for snapping my younger sister and I told him that he needs to move on and grow up. His response was that I was immature for not talking to him in person when I got the chance and that this was a two way street because I reacted the way I did. He thinks that I’m not over him because I have contacted him regarding this situation and that I am in the wrong for how I reacted. 

Do am I in the wrong for responding the way I did? should I have never contacted him at all?",,1,1,1.0
54,MILwoes1,AITA for ranting about my MIL to friends?,"On mobile so apologize for formatting! 

My husband and I have been together for several years, married for 5. We have a 2 year old together. I’ve never had a great relationship with my MIL but it’s been civil. We don’t see his family often mainly because of his mom’s work schedule (she works a lot of weekends and so do my husband and I so hard to coordinate sometimes) and she lives 2 hours away. I think the last time we saw them was either February or May when they came to visit for a few hours (she has a thing about not staying the night). 

We were trying to find a time for his family to come visit while 2 of his siblings were around for the month of December as well. Things ultimately fell through last minute (our toddler had a runny nose/fever and they didn’t feel comfortable coming - totally fair). Was trying to reschedule when his siblings called and basically insinuated they wouldn’t be able to come. The next day we all get a text in the family chat from his mom directed at me asking if I know what karma is and that my husband is somebody else’s son. Escalated over the next few days as my husband tries to get a hold of his family to figure what’s going on and reschedule a time to visit for the holidays. He’s unable to get a hold of anybody (not responding to his texts or picking up when he calls). His mom then texts the group again saying my husband and our toddler are welcome to come but I don’t need to go to her house. She also accuses me of brainwashing her son… 

Husband continues to try to text/call his family with no luck (mainly at this point to make sure his mom is ok.) I talk to him about just going up to visit dec 26-27 (my brother and his family from a different state were visiting for 4 days and left on the 25) but my husband didn’t want to go. Suggested we at least get his mom some takeout or something for the holidays so we ordered from her favourite restaurant. Told the driver to drop it off if nobody answered the door. Never heard from his family but assume they got it. My husband has stopped trying to contact his family. I was complaining to a couple of friends the other day and my husband overheard and wasn’t happy about it. 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
56,FullTimeWeirdo2007,AITA for giving my parents friends the silent treatment,"I 16F ignored my parents friends and now they are mad at me.

My parents had close friends over to celebrate new year’s together and they arrived the 28th and they left the second of January. 
One guy we’ll call X and the other we’ll call Y. When they came over X kept trying to hug and kiss me even though i hate it. I told X multiple times that i don’t like being touched but he keeps doing it. 
When turn away from him he regularly makes comments like: ‘ohh OP thinks she is above me’. I tolerate him because my parents like him but i try to stay away from him. My parents are saying that i am being rude by not giving X a hug. But i just don’t like to hug. Besides, him being mean to me just because I don’t want to hug or kiss doesn’t help.

Well when the clock struck 12 o’ clock X pulled me into a hug and forcefully planted a kiss on my forehead and i lost it. I yelled at him that all he does is trying to touch me and being mean to me. Y said i was being ridiculous for shouting at his husband and i should apologize. When I refused my parents sided with X and Y. I then stormed off to my room and refused to talk to them for the rest of their stay. When they left i didn’t bother to say goodbye and now my parents are mad at me saying I embarrassed them with my behavior.
They demanded that i called them and apologize but i sincerely think i don’t need to say sorry for anything.

Reddit AITA?",,1,1,1.0
57,badfuneral,AITA for trying to lighten the mood with jokes?,"I (21M) went to a funeral with my girlfriend (23F) the other day. It was some distant cousin or something on her side so she wasn’t super torn up about and was really only going to support her family. She brought me along so she wasn’t alone the whole time. We arrived on time, dressed appropriately, so it’s not like we weren’t being respectful. She just didn’t know the guy so she wasn’t super upset, so I wasn’t upset about it. 

When we arrived I had cracked a couple small jokes to her, just random small things, no dark humor or anything. She had told me to cut it out but was smiling so I just assumed she was just being difficult as a joke. We do that a lot, she pretends to be annoyed but is actually having fun, and I do the same thing. Her grandma was wandering over so she told me to be serious because her grandma was actually upset. I understood so I stopped joking and just did the typical “sorry for your loss” etc. I was only joking with her because she didn’t care, I didn’t say anything loud enough to upset anyone. 

There was this big poster board with his face on it next to the urn he was in and when we went over I thought it’d be funny to do something. It was only meant to be to my girlfriend, not anyone else in the family. I pretended to pick the guys nose and tapped on her shoulder to show her, and she swatted my hand down and told me to cut it out. Apparently some other family members saw because my girlfriend pulled me aside later and told me we had to leave. I was confused and she said that people were unhappy at the joke I had made. 

She dropped me back off at my apartment and was really pissed. The whole ride back was completely silent. I’ve been trying to reach her and she hasn’t responded. It’s been 3 days and I don’t understand why she’s so mad at me when I was being respectful except for one joke they weren’t even meant to hear about.",,1,1,1.0
58,generic_name_here1,AITA for cutting my friend of 15 years out of my life?,"My friend (24F) and I (25F) we’re friends for 15 years. She and met in dance class and became such fast friends. Through middle school and high school we continued to be close and we did everything together, talked all hours of the night, she and I were very heavily involved in each others lives. 

Fast forward to college and we meet two girls that I thought would be cool to hang out with, we all four got along great until something terrible happened (obviously). our friend, we’ll call her Sam, had a pregnancy scare. Of course we were all supportive and told her we would be there for her, but this wasn’t the first time this happened. 

You see, Sam loved doing it, more than life. She didn’t care with who, she had the scare with a guy she admitted hating. I told her when she asked my opinion that I honestly think she has an addiction and that she should take a break. Needless to say that didn’t go well. She told everyone I called her a Wh*re, and other nasty things that I NEVER called her. 

Well, my friend of 15 years, decides to take a girls side that she’s known for less than 3 months, and stands up for her and leaves me in the ashes. I don’t think I ever did anything wrong, Sam asked my opinion and I gave it so idk what she wants from me. After that my friend tried to reach out and say she’s just being supportive of Sam but I decided to not deal with her anymore, so AITA?",,1,1,1.0
59,Billiemily,AITA for not wanting my babys dad involved,"Had a one night stand with my (psychical & cheating) ex ended up pregnant we stayed together first 8 weeks till he started accusing me of cheating, being controlling and asking where I am constantly. Gave him multiple chances to be involved in the pregnancy until I finally had enough and blocked him. Got in contact with him indirectly to say our baby was born, the same baby he told me to abort and that he didn't want anything to do with multiple times, had hidden his income so he doesn't have to pay child support now told me he wants to be involved. 
Am I the asshole if I refused contact and access to our baby? I say our baby she's 6 months old now and he hasn't bothered, until now. I want the best for my child and I don't think he is a good person but who am I to refuse that right
 I'm stuck. He wasn't named on the birth certificate and we weren't married.",,1,1,1.0
60,Plane-Artist-7988,AITA for leaving and not helping my bf with his NYE dinner plans?,"I (27f) have been living with my bf (37f) for a year. I’m an introvert while my bf is an extrovert who loves having his friends over almost every week. At first, I thought it was ok to have his friends over because we’d just moved in together and were both excited to have a place of our own. However, I’d be the one preparing food and getting things ready for his friends who he invited while he goes off to do something else and not help. I have communicated this to him and he helped me cook for one dinner before going back to how it was with the next dinner he hosted. This NYE, he told me he invited 10-15 people to dinner. I told him that’s fine bc it’s NYE but he has to be the one to get stuff ready and I can help out. Instead of cooking food or cleaning, he started shoveling the driveway that had ready been shovelled and was clear. I knew I’d be the one left to prepare everything for him so I just left to get some snacks and get my nails done because i just wanted to. He texted me saying his friends were almost there and asked where I was. I told him what I was doing and that I’d be home in time for his dinner and asked if he needed me to pick up anything on the way home. He read my text but never replied. I got home and nothing was ready. No food or drinks, the stack of decorations that he bought the day before were still packaged on the kitchen counter. He was on the phone buying pizza. His friends arrived and we did the whole NYE thing. When his friends left, my bf was livid calling me selfish and inconsiderate for leaving when we had to prepare for dinner.  I told him what I said earlier that he had to prepare everything since he invited HIS friends but I would help. I even asked if he wanted me to pick up anything on my way home but he left me on read. He said I embarrassed him and slept on the couch. Currently laying in bed with some chocolates I got earlier thinking about AITA but at least my nails look cute?

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
61,Mental-Hunt-7283,"AITA: My gf said she needed a break and proceeded to block me on all platforms without explanation, so I call her out. She proceeds to say I was “controlling”","I don’t know if this belongs here but oh well: For context I m(17) had been dating my gf f(17) for about 3/4 months. we met in the summer during an athletics competition and she was a bit rude as she didn’t know me but afterwards we started talking and we became close fast forward to yesterday and without warning I’m blocked on all platforms and she tells me she needs a break due to her mental health completely understandable as she was having major problems with her parents, however i during our talking stage was not in a good place and I started to respond with less effort and it took me more time to reply as a result of this so we stopped talking. After about a week or so I get sent a longwinded message about how I’m “selfish” and “overreacting” for not replying to her quick enough because I have a higher snap score or some bs like that. So I got blocked and she said I need a break so I took that like okay shit start to the new year but we’ll recover. Come this morning I woke up feeling like shit and I decided to message one of her friends and tell her to pass on a message the message went along the lines of “I completely understand that you need a break but I find it kinda shitty that you block me on all platforms and it’s completely okay! but when I take a break due to mental health I’m the bad guy and I’m selfish?” She did not react well to this and proceeded to cause an argument and claim that I “stopped her from having friends” when she saw her girls more than she saw me most weeks she labelled me as controlling and neglectful 
AITA?",,1,1,1.0
66,AdEvening6684,AITA for telling my wife is irresponsible with money like her family?,"Me and my wife are living in the UK.
We have been together for 9 years, have 2 kids (4 & 2) and we originate from another country. 
From the beginning of our relationship my wife told me that she had a tax debt to the country we originate from. This debt was technically hers, but was due to a bad management of her father who made her the owner of his business in an attempt to ""save"" it. This did not end well (He got sick and could not work anymore) so my wife ended up with a big debt that got worse over the years as it wasn't being paid. 
She has regulated the debt and we managed to pay it off in September. In the mean time the family of her ex fiance requested some money they lended years back (before we were together, again her father took it to save the business), which my in laws never paid back. We both covered that cost as well. Her parents have minimal income (her father could not work due to health issues and half of her mother's pension  is going towards the mortgage of their house) but they live in debt (e.g. they have about 15k in bills outstanding) yet they decided to send her younger sister to college and pay for her fees. 
Once our first kid came around my wife stopped working and moved back to her parents' house. I was paying for the full amount of the debts, as well as sending money for living expenses. 
I managed to find a better job, moved to a new city, my wife returned to the UK and found a job. 
Second kid comes along so my wife was on maternity leave and pay. As soon as she returned back to work I asked her to get a credit card to help with the increased expenses of the second child (The card had 0% interest for 14 months), until the tax debt is paid off and my son goes to school. 
So September rolls in, her card balance is close to £800. 
Last week I found out that the balance has exceeded £2k.
I asked her how this is possible and asked to see the expenses. 
Turns out she paid a lot for Christmas and my daughters birthday trip (Apart from what I paid). 
We had another chat today about it and gave her some of the money I have been saving (for a rainy day) to pay-off the credit card balance as it turns out the last month of the 0% interest is January 2023.
I told her that she need to handle the expenses more responsibly and we need to budget our expenses from now on as we won't be able to afford everything that we have planed. Her response, was ""does this also mean that my Christmas' present is not happening as well?"" (I wanted to book a clinic for hair removal). This triggered my reply on the title which made her cry. 

P.S. We are both working but my salary is around two times her salary.
I am covering in full for rent, water, council tax, Internet. 
She is covering our youngest's nursery and Energy bill, to which we have never missed a payment. 
After these ""standard"" expenses I pay for 80% of groceries and she pays for our car's fuel (about £50 per month).",,1,1,1.0
68,Special-War1316,AITA for not wanting to take care of my sister’s dog?,"My (17m) sister (27f) got a baby husky for Christmas from her husband. She’s still training her, she has accidents still, and according to her, is a biter. Today though, she told my parents (I wasn’t there) that she would start leaving the dog with us while she went to work. She would be leaving her around 7:00am and taking her at 5:00pm Monday through Friday (if she doesn’t decide to stay for a while, which she does sometimes). I’m definitely against this though. The issue is that I have a seven year old dog who isn’t very good with other dogs, and I adopted a cat in November, so handling another pet on top of them would be stressful. My dog already takes up the garage when it’s raining (which it has been) and my cat is an indoor cat, so the only placed left for her would be downstairs but like I said, she’s not trained and constantly goes to the restroom even if you took her outside already. I know this because she did that twice when my sister and her husband were over for dinner for about an hour. I also want to clarify that the dog has no issue being home by herself, she absolutely can stay at my sister’s house and not stay over here. I’m assuming my sister just doesn’t want to come home to puddles on her floor, but I think that’s her responsibility, not mine. I just feel like I should have time to do what I want since I’m still studying for my driver’s test and have school to worry about, which are both more important to me than cleaning up after a dog that isn’t mine. I think she should’ve thought about this before getting a dog, but she is now saying I’m selfish for not helping her out. So, AITA for not wanting my sister to bring her dog over?",,1,1,1.0
70,Glittering-Film-884,AITA for calling someone else baby daddy,AITA for calling someone else baby daddy. My boyfriend (27) and I (24) went to baseball game early on in dating. About three months into dating. Good looking player comes around and all I said was damn that’s baby daddy..me fully knowing I’m joking. I call him that from time to time now. He has said when I call him it it reminds him of the baseball game. He does bring it up every fight and says if I was someone else he would’ve left me.,,1,1,1.0
71,Advanced-Interest522,AITA my parents won't let me get a job but then complain about me not having money,i (15f) am currently playing softball for a winter league and i'm varsity swim. i am a freshman in high-school. i recently turned 15 and now i want to get a job to start saving up money. my parents are complaining about me not having enough money (my school computer was recently stolen and it's 600$ to replace) i currently have 210$ in my bank account and i'm unemployed. i decided i wanted to sit down and talk to my parents about getting a job that has a flexible schedule and will work with my needs. they keep saying it's too much and i tried to explain that i want to push myself a little bit and if my grades drop i will quit my job. my mom accused me of picking a fight with them and got up and stormed off. i looked at her husband (he adopted me:/) and said i don't understand why you guys can't sit down and talk to me about something why does everything have to turn into a fight i just wanted to have a civil conversation with my parents about the next step in my teenage years and she storms off. he gave me a nasty look so i walked away. then he told me to get back there and sit down and i said why cuz my mom just walked away when she was mad so why couldn't i... we'll leave it there for personal reasons but is it my fault that they got so mad???,,1,1,1.0
73,odanhammer,AITA For not spending time with girlfriends family,"So been living with my girlfriend for a few years now.
Last year her brothers 4 kids (10, 14, 17,19)
Asked to stay for a bit during the summer.
Brother and mother are divorced and mother looms after kids.

Brother was suppose to spend time with his kids every weekend, ended up he slept on our couch all weekend and then went home.
Kids were destructive and bored.  We don't have the money to spend on extras like food for a month, nor have the proper room for them.
They finally left,  had caused about 2 grand in damages and almost ended my relationship with my girlfriend over it.  There's way more to that story but don't wanna write a book.

Fast forward to two weeks ago.  Girlfriend informs me that mother and kids are in the area for the holidays. I clearly ask if we are spending any time with them, and/or if they are spending a night or two.
Girlfriend tells me maybe the older kids might stay over for two nights, but they have pikes of family and friends to see and will get to see us for a day.

As I'm writing this,  they have used our house for the past week, had a surprise birthday party for girlfriends mother on new years eve at our house, they all were up to 4am ,  destroyed a Christmas present I made .  My kid has slept over at friends house all week as one of the kids keeps making fun of them.  When confronted about them leaving. My girlfriend apologized , took the kids out , but now they are back again.
I'm mostly upset as I haven't had a single day with my family during Christmas,  I made a pile of food for us to eat this week. Was blitzed by kids.  I haven't spent more then 10 minutes with my kid during the holidays as they don't feel welcome at home. Oh and the mother has spent all week threatening to fill my salt water fish tank up with pop and coffee because of an incident that happened 20 years ago , aka 16 years before I was even in a relationship with my girlfriend. 

Am I the asshole for telling her they are never welcome to sleep over again, as they take advantage of her?",,1,1,1.0
77,pinkpilatesprincessx,"AITA for setting ""too many rules"" with my best friend's dog?","My best friend and I are considering living together, but I have a few stipulations about her dog. 

For one, I don't want him on any furniture that I pay for. He sheds like nobody's business and she doesn't ever groom him, and doesn't bathe him as frequently should. While I'm not going to demand she does those things, I will say every time I'm over at her current apartment, it reeks of dog and there's fur everywhere. I know agreeing to live with a dog is agreeing to some extent of fur, but I don't want people to come over and think that of our home, and I also don't want to take a stinky couch with me when we move out just because she doesn't want to be active in her own dog's upkeep. I have asked her to keep him in her room when she's not home the first month we live together if we do, or just until I'm confident he won't sneak on the couch while we're not around. 

The other thing is that he barks. I know that's how dogs communicate, but he barks anytime you walk in the door. He barks when he sees things walking past. He barks and growls at strangers and runs up on them and for people who don't know him, that can be scary. I guess it's just a little embarrassing to do the whole ""he's friendly, I swear"" bit every time someone comes over, especially if it's not my dog. I'm not asking for him to never bark ever, because duh, it's a dog, but I don't think it's unreasonable to ask her to train him not to bark at every little thing. 

The only other thing I'm asking her is he be put away when food is involved. He stands at your feet when you cook, and I've knocked into him a couple times while maneuvering around her kitchen. While it's accidental, she gets mad at me like he's not the one in the way drooling all over the floor and diving for whatever we happen to drop. And when we're actually eating, he gets in our personal space and stares you down hoping for food. What's worse is she always ends up giving in, so he doesn't eventually go away, he actually gets more intense with it throughout the meal once he succeeds the first time. The only problem with putting him away is he barks to be let out (especially if it's a dinner party with loads of guests), and she ends up letting him back out because the barking is more annoying than the staring.

She thinks I'm asking too much and says all I want is to pretend he doesn't exist, but I think I'm compromising in a way that we can keep a clean and structured household while still letting him be a dog. I'm not asking him to never bark, I'm not asking him to be locked up 24/7, and I'm not delusional enough to think there will be 0 dog fur/dog smell ever, but I feel like it's reasonable to ask that we minimize some of the more annoying parts of living with a dog. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
78,TimberHollow23,AITA for telling my friend the truth about his attitude.,"So a bit of backstory. I have a best friend let’s call him Seth. He and I have been friends for about 4 years and we thought about each other as siblings. I was never close with my siblings because they 
never really cared about me so I always wanted to make sure Seth was happy. So onto the story. Last year Seth’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. I was with him through it all. One day in October he texted me early in the morning saying that she had passed. I replied saying that I was here for him if he wanted to talk. His father had died from a stroke years prior to this. Over the past few months I’ve been helping him staying up with him listening to him cry and his problems. I just wanted to help but for the past few weeks his mood has changed drastically. He’s started to push everyone around him away make racist comments thinking there jokes to a mutual friend of ours and calling me names. I had told him previously I don’t appreciate being called these things and to stop. Well a few days before Christmas we got into a fight and said said pretty awful things. I didn’t even say anything wrong during it. I even took a screenshot of our conversation. Two days had passed and we became friends again. Everything was fine until last night I was playing with my friend who’s basically my dad because he raised me and he started with attitude. He had left and I asked my dad if he had thought Seth was being off again. He said ya he was being a jerk. I agreed and said ya him calling me names is like the equivalent of me calling him a certain name for a cigarette. He coughed and said rudely say it to my face next time. I explained I’ve tried talking to him before we all have but he doesn’t listen. He left all mad so I texted him saying sorry but what I said was the truth that he was being rude and had an attitude. We fought again and he said some hurtful things yet again basically saying I haven’t helped at all. I still have those screenshots as well. I get people grieve after something like that but taking it out on others isn’t how you keep your friends. Idk what to do anymore I’m honestly hurt. So Reddit AITA?",,1,1,1.0
79,No_Needleworker_4101,AITA for yelling at my brother when he put my niece in my bedroom when I was crying?,"So I [F18] live with my parents and my brother [M23] and his daughter [F4]. My brother has sole custody of her due to her mother being an unfit parent for reasons I won't get into.

I came home crying last night because I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with my cousin. I went to my room and I was just a huge mess and I didn't want to talk to anyone.

My brother asked what was wrong and I told him I didn't want to talk about it at that moment. He then opened my bedroom door and put my niece in my room then closed the door and walked off and said that ""she can make auntie feel better"". My niece didn't even seem to understand what was going on.

I opened the door again and I told my niece to go play with her toys in her room. I then snapped at my brother and yelled at him and told him he's insensitive and that I don't want to watch his kid when I'm upset. He told me he thought spending time with my niece would cheer me up. I told him he's unbelievable and that I want to be left alone so leave me alone, then I went back to my room.

My brother is now angry at me and said that just because I was upset doesn't mean I get to yell at and berate people and that he was just trying to help.",,1,1,1.0
80,Calm-Letterhead-4076,AITA or is my gf TA?,"Me(17) and my long distance gf (17) recently had a massive argument after she said things ""she might cheat on me"" or we might not workout or that she is attracted to blondes (i have brown hair) and she also confessed me that she had a lot of boyfriends before me after 4 months of realtionship. In the past i also fucked up with her by calling her by another name or ignoring her on purpose or confessing her that i Kinda lost interest in her after we werent texting that much at the start of our relationship. But she was the one who made the first move and the first one to say ""i love u"" and she almost always say It first. She knows i have a really low selfesteem and i feel like she is too pretty for me. We joke a lot for example she say she is gonna order a pizza but pay without using money and i also say that i will go with a mom. But everytime we do these jokes the guy she ""cheats"" on me is always a blonde dude. Now i don't know if she actually loves me or maybe im just one of many guys she is talking with even if she keeps telling me that im her one and only. Now she is mad because i overreact on the things she said cause she keeps saying that she loves me
AITA? or my gf is TA",,1,1,1.0
82,emofairycowgirl,AITA? Setting boundaries with a mutual friend.,"So me (25F) and a mutual friend (23 M) had a barter system going.
Basically I managed his social media and he would bring me *trees*
There was about a month where things were consistent but then he said to stop posting for a week, as he wasn’t producing new content for me to post, this was completely understandable and I followed his directions. He then at some point lost his phone (had it stolen) so I didn’t hear from him for almost a month, again, completely understandable. Now this is where I’m conflicted, he reached back out to me the day before New Years Eve to bring me some *trees* for me to pick back up on managing his social media, we agreed on what time would work, anytime after 3 PM, and he even confirmed on the day of that he would be coming from 5-6PM. 6PM rolled around and I still hadn’t heard from him, I knew he was in a couple cities over so I wasn’t going to bother him about it because it wasn’t a pressing matter to me. At 8PM he reached out and said he had just got back home and would be over after he got ready for the night, as he was going back out to celebrate New Years, I confirmed that it was fine with me and that I’d be home because I wasn’t doing anything. 11:30PM comes around and I still have heard nothing from him, I’m annoyed and extremely tired so I reach out to tell him to just come through tomorrow because I’m tired and was going to sleep. He never responded which wasn’t a big deal until I saw he posted on his social media, around the time I told him I was going to bed, and he was out at a bar/club… meaning he skipped coming to drop of the *trees* and also didn’t let me know, basically leaving me hanging. It really struck a nerve with me because I stayed up waiting. I messaged him the next morning to tell him it to come and that we were no longer going to be working together because I didn’t appreciate the lack of communication from him because I would have understood if he simply texted that he wasn’t going to come instead of just going ghost. He replied “ok no problem” which.. I never apologized but okay? He also proceeded to talk down on me to our mutual friends and hasn’t been very kind about it, it’s not surprising because he’s pretty much always expressed disliking of me, but regardless it leaves me wondering… am I the asshole????",,1,1,1.0
85,EfficientSine,"WIBTA if I refuse to switch rooms with my younger, who needs the extra space and storage?","=I (20M) and my sister (19F) both live in the same family home per our country's tradition. My room is slightly bigger than hers, and has a mini closet-y space that leads to my own bathroom. She has her own too, but needs to exit her room to enter it down the hallway. I sleep in a torn-down single bed, she has a queens bed in mint condition but takes up 1/5 of the room. She says she needs my room for the extra space and my bigger closet to fit all of her clothes, and she's not kidding because she's starting to use racks to keep up with her storage. Meanwhile I still have plenty of space in my cabinet.

I have a lot of empty space in my room, I kind of planned it that way by pushing everything to the sides so that I can walk around. Her massive bed is right in the center against the window and all can do is walk around that bed. Her room is loaded with drawers and she says she can't get a bigger cabinet to solve her issue or else it'll just make her room super crowded. I offered her a really generous chunk of my closet space for her to store anything off-season, and she says it's inconvenient to her.

The thing is, I'm constantly in my room and it's valuable to me, while she's barely in her room. However, she complains of having no space and being embarrassed when she has her friends over. I have my music studio that won't fit in her room unless I move her bed to the far corner. BUT my stay in this house is short-lived as I plan to move away in 2 years, so it shouldn't really matter, does it? I really don't want to be an asshole to her, but I also have a much higher dependence on my space.",,1,1,1.0
87,FrostFireAK,AITA for not being able to control my bodily functions?,"I (31f) work in a small office. I try to be as unobtrusive as possible,(trauma response, you know?). I keep my autistic stims to a minimum and do my best not to be loud or annoying. But my supervisor, R (35F) , is constantly complaining about my yawning. I have issues sleeping so I'm generally a bit tired throughout the day, and tend to yawn. Since the first time she complained, I've done my absolute best to ensure my yawns are as noiseless as possible, but apparently it's still audible. The reason I wonder if I'm the asshole is our office is for a type of construction which primarily takes place at night. Most of our workers are pulling long shifts right now and are exhausted. I'm worried that people have been complaining about my yawning to R. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
89,AITAONLYFANNED,AITA for calling out my brother for his onlyfans subscription,"So we know there is a huge issue of men preying on much younger women and all such as the cases where women who just turn 18 make an onlyfans and so many people subscribe and it's really gross as it was a lot of older men and it was yucky. A friend of mine who just turned 25 and I were hanging out and while we were together, his laptop screen showed up by accident and showed a subscription to an onlyfans/insta star called who is 19 but turns 20 in August. This kinda disturbed me so I was like"" dude really? this is gross and gives off predator vibes"". My friend got really embarassed and closed it and told me to drop the discussion but I said ""What discussion? That you like teens at your grown age and all"". After I said that he got seemed offended and said I was going to harsh to indicate he's a predator or even close to a p\*edo. To be fair he has only dated people who are the same age and all but did I overreact and is his subscription sus and I was right? AITA?",,1,1,1.0
91,Neither_Peak_9826,AITA Low libido husband gets drunk every night,"Changing hormones are tough. The worst is that I have very low libido, AND painful sex.It is really hard for both of us. I admit to being standoffish, because…pain. But then he gets passive aggressive. He touches me in ways he knows I don’t like. Alcohol makes it worse. So even non-inter course intimacy is just not there. If I try to initiate something, he rejects it because he’s convinced I’m doing it out of guilt. When he’s sober, it’s not so bad. I realize I have driven him to a place that he is reluctant to expect much because he’ll be disappointed, but in his attempt to protect himself, he’s driving me away. I have talked to my doctors and I simply don’t have a lot of safe medical options. I feel awful. When I speak to him when he’s sober, it goes well, but then he comes home and gets drunk every night. He is not open to counseling. In many other aspects of our relationship, he is extremely thoughtful, kind, and caring.",,1,1,1.0
95,Middle-Newspaper7820,AITA for telling my wife to terminate her pregnancy?,"I (27m) & my wife (26f) got pregnant unexpectedly. We live with my parents currently, as we're trying to save to leave our home town & go on vacations to see family I haven't seen in a long time. (Rent has tripled in our small town to a rate we can't afford after our rental doubled, as we live in a retirement town). We do not live in the States. 

Middle-ish of December, we found out we were expecting. Only about 4 weeks at that point, now 6. It was a complete accident and I immediately said I didn't want it. The panic that I'm not ready, and that there's things we still wanted to do, that just won't be possible with a baby. I saw the disappointment on her face, even though she tried to hide it. 

My wife however wants to keep it, but is going along with the termination after I told her my reasons. She admits that they're good reasons (cant afford/don't want to burden my parents further), & I don't see any pros to a baby right now. I know she wants it, and I feel guilty and like the villain for asking her to terminate it. 

We weren't careful and we knew this would happen. I blame myself bc I knew better. But I feel like I might be pressuring her into a termination. But I'm just not ready. I see the sadness on her face, but we joke like normal about the situation. My parents do not know, nor is it their business, so we aren't saying anything since we're terminating it. 

But I feel like an asshole. Termination feels like the best decision, but I know my wife feels different. She told me she would love to keep it, but will stand by my reasons and I assured her I'll be here through it all. We already ordered the pills, but I know she's going to hurt after this. 

I know shes feeling pressured. I DID REASSURE HER THAT IT'S HER DECISION, but I haven't changed my mind. 

So reddit, AITA for being adamant she terminate her pregnancy?",,1,0,0.5
96,PA-C_Man,AITA for not wanting to provide prescriptions to a close family friend.,"I am a medical provider in the urgent care. I see, diagnosis and treat all sorts of things. We have a close family friend circle of about five families with 25 kids under the age of 7. I am occasionally asked to look in ears, look at a rash, or discuss going in to be seen or not which I am fine doing. One mother will text me several times a week. Her questions are more statements... ""my kid has pink eye can you send me drops"" ""My kid is fussy and pulling at their ear, can you send in an antibiotic?"" In medicine, it is a see the patient, diagnosis the patient and treat the patient. She has taken it upon herself to remove the see and diagnosis component and go right to send me the antibiotic. I have let it go for approximately two to three years but today I snapped. On my day off and a holiday weekend she asked me to send eye drops because her kid's eyes were itchy and she ""needed to wipe them twice"". I snapped. Told her I would send them in to the pharmacy, a process that usually takes 30 minutes to do over the phone (in office at a computer only several seconds). But I also told her that going forward I would rather be her friend than her pharmacist/kids pediatrician where she tells me the diagnosis and what to send in.",,1,1,1.0
97,InsecureLoser007,AITA for reporting someone bullying my friend when my friend did not want me to?,"I, 16F, have a friend, also 16F, who we’ll call Tess. Tess and I weren’t the closest of friends, but we trusted each other.

One day she told me as we were walking home from our school that she wasn’t in the best state. I inquired further and she told me that I was not allowed to tell anyone at all. I sensed it was serious and promised I wouldn’t.

She told me about someone we shared many classes with, also 16F, who I will call Jessica. Jessica is one of the stereotypical popular kids. She’s conventionally attractive, not the brightest, wealthy, and likes to gossip about others.

Tess and I are not popular, but she has more friends than I do. I’m kind of a nerd. I’m unpopular, smart, and introverted. I was that one kid in sixth grade who was triple accelerated in math.

Anyway, she told me Jessica was going out of her way to make hurtful comments like, “you’re fat” (Tess is not remotely chubby in any way), or “you’re a bitch”. Stuff like that. She blamed Tess for all of her problems. Don’t ask me what or why, it makes me gag to think about her stupid reasoning. It gets worse.

Tess told me that Jessica had been posting YouTube videos about how Tess was an asshole and was responsible for her problems, complete with pictures of Tess on the video. It disgusted me.

Tess made me swear not to tell anyone, so I reluctantly agreed, but she said later that the bullying continued.

I caved a few weeks ago and told the guidance counselor at our high school. Now Tess won’t speak to me and Tess’s other close friend says I should apologize for betraying her trust.

I saw the videos and they were terrible, and I saw Jessica bullying Tess in person. I also have experienced some of Jessica’s bullying, and she is terrible. She bullies other unpopular kids as well. I’m glad to have hopefully ended her reign of terror, but at the same time I wonder if I am in the wrong for betraying her trust.

So, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
98,ZealousidealCrab9949,AITA for calling out my bf’s cousin for being spoiled and bratty?,"For context this occurred last night when members of both mine and my bf’s extended families joined together for a meal. I feel like I approached this in as much of a discreet way as I could, but I am getting tremendous amounts of shit from my bf’s cousin E and her parents for my behaviour. 

My bf has a cousin E (25f) who has been given everything she has ever wanted. Undergraduate and masters degrees entirely paid for by her parents, allowed to live at home almost entirely rent free barring the odd small amount here and there for food every couple months, has managed to get her parents to buy her 3 cars (after crashing the first two) and these cars seemingly get more expensive with each one she gets. She is the apple of her parents eye. I only know all this because she has spared no effort bragging to me about her lavish lifestyle funded by her parents. It seems like she has no concept of money and regularly complains to me and my bf about not having any money.

This brings us to yesterday when E made a rather embarrassing spectacle at dinner. Her and her parents were muttering quietly in a small group before she loudly complained that “things were sooooo unfair” that they’re not going to be paying rent for her when she moves out shortly. I understand she was under the assumption they would cough up the funds like normal. The entire dinner table went quiet before E’s dad said ‘E that’s enough, we will discuss this later’.

 After dinner, E approached me whining about how she’s going to be broke with her new apartment. I suggested gently that maybe she should look into better ways of managing her money such as opening a regular savings account where she puts in money every month. (I don’t have a significant amount of financial literacy, I am only 18)

E decided to disregard my advice entirely and continued pouting like a petulant toddler, hurling insults at me, calling me a snarky little shit and yelling that it’s not fair that I have more savings than her and started insulting her parents and blaming them for not paying the rent on her apartment. 

This is when I lost it and may have been the AH. I raised my voice and said that E should quit acting like a brat and be grateful her parents have provided so much for her instead of complaining and being disrespectful that they aren’t shelling out more funds. She called me a bitch and stormed off. My bf is firmly on my side and tells me my reaction was justified and that I was finally saying what he desperately wanted to tell E. E’s parents are not impressed at the confrontation and think I was an AH for causing such a scene in front of everyone. If anything, I think E was the one who caused a much more dramatic and childish scene but some of you on here may contest that. 

So, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
101,Spirited-Sky3099,AITA for not wanting to be in the same room as the person who killed my grandpa,"So today is my great grandmothers birthday and we are celebrating it at my grandparents house. It would sound pretty normal under any other circumstances but i have to deal with my grandmother who about 7 years ago let my grandpa die. To explain a bit better 9 years ago my grandpa got cancer and our family was under immense stress due to it and my grandmother is anti medicine so she refuses to take him to chemo therapy so me and my dad have to because we are the only ones willing to go with him but after a while she said “The chemo clearly isn’t working so ill take it into my own hands” and she refused to let us take him to his chemo sessions and started her own treatment which was ground up apples and essential oils.

After about a year of her “treatment” the man i once called my grandpa was but a husk of human being who could barely move at all and then he died. Cut back to today it is currently my great grandmother’s birthday and my dad is pissed that i wont go inside and I don’t want to tell him what I think because he has forgiven her and I haven’t and never will, and I don’t want to start an argument with him about the situation. What am i even supposed to do in this situation 

TLDR: my grandmother killed my grandpa and i don’t want to see her right now",,1,1,1.0
106,Lepke2011,AITA for making my neighbor move a car out of my assigned space at 1am?,"So, I live in a building where we have assigned parking spots. They give you a sticker with a number on it (I'm #80) and you park in the spot with that number. Pretty simple. So, I always have guaranteed parking, unless they're doing some sort of maintenance on the lot.

A bit ago they were redoing the surrounding streets and had to have all the people who live in the area and don't have a parking permit for a space move to other areas, which is obviously inconvenient in a congested urban area, but in theory has no effect on me.

I came home late one night at about 1am from a friend's house and there was a car in my spot. Now, the building has a giant sign up to let people know the lot is under contract with a tow company. I was about to call but noticed the car had a note in the window. Something like, ""DON'T HAVE TOWED! CALL XXX-XXX-XXXX!""

I called and a few minutes later one of my neighbors who would also have an assigned spot, came out. He politely explained that there were no spots on the street, so he offered his girlfriend mine. Which means he parked in his space and then was gentlemanly enough to offer something of someone else's to her.

I let him know it is my spot, so he'd have to move. We had a brief argument about the late hour and how hard it would be for her to find a spot on the street. Not seeing how either of them having trouble finding parking on the street was a ***me*** problem I insisted he move, and he went to get the keys and got out of my spot.

I ran into him in the hallway a few days later, at which point he looked at me and said, ""FUCK YOU!"" I don't think we're going to be friends.

Am I the A-hole for asking him to get out of my spot even if it was 1am and all of the surrounding roads were under construction?",,1,1,1.0
108,megacatlover_,AITA for wanting to teach new restaurant manager some managerial skills,"For initial context, I told my father he was the asshole for this, but he disagreed with me. So I said ""ill bet you reddit will agree with me!"" and here we are. The ""I""  in the AITA of this story is not me, megacatlover\_, but my dad. So without further ado:  


There is a new restaurant in town that my family wanted to try. Being a new restaurant on a Friday night, we figured the place would be packed, and ordered carry-out instead. The restaurant is a 15m drive away, so a 30m drive total there and back home. Upon arriving back home, we looked in the bags of food and found an entree was missing. 

We called the restaurant and the hostess said they would remake the entree and comp us for the inconvenience. We drove 15m back out, got the entree, and returned home. However, we found that they did not comp us the entree after all. My mom called the restaurant to complain, because we had to go back out of our way to get our food due to their mistake. This time, the manager of the restaurant was on the phone and said the hostess did not have the jurisdiction to offer the entree for free in the first place, and that because we got our food we would not be refunded. The manager did not offer any other form of compensation, no free dessert, no future discount, or anything.

My parents are disappointed, and are now ""boycotting"" the restaurant. They believe any good manager would have compensated us in some way. My dad used to be a manager himself, and he thinks that because they are a new restaurant, the manager should be taught managerial skills. My dad wants the manager to learn that his actions have consequences. Thus, every time we go out to eat now, my dad wants to call the restaurant and tell them that we would have considered them as an option, but we aren't going to because of their poor managerial skills, and to remind them of how they slighted us. 

Personally, I think it is petty, and ridiculous. They are a new and busy restaurant, and we should give them the benefit of the doubt for their mistake. Both my brother and I loved the food there, and we would want to go back, but our parents say no. My dad thinks that the manager needs to learn, and that this is a ""teachable moment"". I think it makes him an asshole, and that he will just get blocked after calling once or twice. What do you think, reddit?",,1,1,1.0
109,Sea_Slice_3824,AITA for yelling at my sister?,"So today my family (parents and brother are not important to the story), sister (10 ) and I (15 m) were going to get sandwiches for lunch somewhere, and we all decided on one sandwich place to eat (lets call it A). That is, except for my sister, who wanted a different sandwich place (B). My parents said that we can just get both, A for us four and B for my sister.

This wouldn't be a big deal but right now I am learning to drive and my mom says that I have to drive to pick up the food (after ordering it online). I say fine, but my sister has to go and wait inside for her sandwich to be ready, since it is out of the way and only for her. My sister started crying about how this wasn't fair, and that she doesn't want to go. I told her that she doesn't have to go if she just gets a sandwich from A. She declined, and continued to complain about having to go. I got tired of it and said that she was acting entitled and that if she's so upset about going, just don't get a sandwich or get one from A. My mom got tired of her screaming and canceled the orders for both places. Aita in this situation?",,1,1,1.0
113,annabelleaita,AITA for going behind my fiance back,"I and my fiance both wanted our child and have been anticipating their birth. I was expecting twins and was 4 months pregnant when I discovered texts between my best friend of 25 years and my fiance (we have been together for just less than 2yrs). .. They've been having an affair for the last 6 months. My husband was the sugar daddy she kept talking to me about that she has had the last 6mnths and was in a ""situation ship"" with. 


I discovered this 2weeks ago and after confronting both of them drove straight to my doctor to have an abortion done... Because sincerely I wanted a clean break out of this.  I went to pick up my stuff last week and told him what I had done and as I expected he was mad, then inconsolable but I got out of there asap because he seemed to be getting enraged. 

I've since left our city and moved in with my cousin who has offered me a place to stay till I sort myself out. I have almost everyone from his side and my fmr best friend's family blocked but recently I've been feeling guilty if I let a moment of anger ruin a good thing. 

Just to add I'm indifferent concerning having kids, only if I've a strong support system of a partner because I suffer from mental illness and cant imagine going through postpartum alone",,1,1,1.0
115,Material-Poem-1702,AITA for refusing to be someone's surrogate?,"I 21(NB) found out I am 5 weeks pregnant and me and my husband are over the moon! We are slowly preparing for the baby and making sure i am away from a unsafe environment. This will be our miracle baby since i had lost 2 before they were born. His family are so excited while mine is excited but for the wrong reasons. Today I get a visit from my stepmother, me and her do not get along but I know my father loves her so dearly so I bite my tongue and do my best. The visit goes okay until she mentions when am I going to give the child away. I looked puzzled and asks what did she meant by that. She explains that this was an ""IOU"" because I refused to do an arranged marriage to the wealthy and since I am fertile enough to keep one alive I need to help our family. And since she raised me to do better she expected I give my baby to my cousin, who is struggling with fertility and since we look similar her fiancé won't know the difference. I was stunned and firmly said no I wouldn't. She started to yell at me with everything she has done for me and the trouble i had caused recently and this could be a make up to it. My husband wasn't having any of it and told her to get out. And then the posts and calls started, endless harassment. My cousin begging saying she needs this and just make another after.  I just couldn't take it. So i just started yelling that shes selfish to even think that I'm giving up my baby for a family that wasn't even there for me and told her to fuck off and kick rocks. I'm most likely going NC with my family but I want to know aita for not wanting to be someone's surrogate?",,1,1,1.0
116,ObamaTookMyWeed,AITA for asking to turn the tv down?,"So I’ll try to make this quick basically I (37m) was at my mil (56f) last night with my wife (41f)  for a little New Year’s Eve party. When it was around 12:05 her mom went to bed and I was getting cozy on the couch that they lend me to sleep on(it was raining where we were at plus with probably drunk people on the road they wanted us to be safe and not worry about driving) around 12:40 I woke up as I drifted to sleep I heard the tv in her room blasting like really loud where I can hear it from downstairs. 

I texted her and ask if she could turn it down a little bit as it was really loud. About a half hour later and it’s the same volume so I just dealt with it by trying to drown out the noise(it didn’t work was up most of the night). This morning she saw my text and told me she was a little mad because it’s her house on new years that she can do what she wants and it’s supposed to be loud.

I apologized to her saying she didn’t have to turn it down that much it’s was just a tiny bit loud and than she said just forget it. I still feel guilty so aita?",,1,1,1.0
120,Acrobatic_Walrus_737,WIBTA if I cancelled my own baby shower after my mom invited a bunch of random people without asking,"Basically the title. My mom called me last night and said that she invited my brother’s friend’s mom(???) to my baby shower, scheduled for 2 weeks from now. My mom didn’t ask prior to inviting this person, and she is a literally stranger to me—we have never even met. But it was NYE and I was with friends so I just gave her a short “I wish you would have asked me” and decided I would call her back today to talk more. Well. Turns out she invited 8(? I don’t actually know the exact number because she was vague) people to the shower without telling me. Most of these are people I’ve either never met or met a few times when I was like 12 years old. Mind you, this wasn’t meant to be a big party. My original invite list was about 20 people — mostly close family and a few friends.

At this point, I’m wondering if she’s respected any of my preferences for the shower. I asked for no corny games, for example.

Would I be the asshole if I cancelled the whole thing? It’s not the guests’ fault afterall, and I could technically just sit through it and accept the gifts. I just really don’t want to sit uncomfortably through a party thrown for me but attended by a bunch of people I don’t know. I’m an introvert, and that sounds like a literal nightmare.",,1,1,1.0
124,Adiaelaz,AITA For booking the same cruise as my little sister and her husband ( my ex-husband),"So along with AITA comes a back story. I'll not to make it a book - pardon my ADD while I hyper-focus on this post! 

My husband surprised me and our 2 crotch goblins with a mini vacation & cruise to the Bahamas. We have worked the past few years with minimal days off and are just ragged. So he thought it would be great because the crotch goblins have been asking to take a cruise for a while now. He also thought it would be cool for me and my little sister to spend some time together even just for a little bit since he remembered me telling him months ago about it. 

My sister and her now husband ( my ex-husband - trust me I only just found out in the past 2 years and I haven't been with him in over 18 years ). They also have a cruise booked for the same date to the Bahamas.I and my sister have a decent relationship but I keep boundaries as she is married to my ex-husband, and that has caused issues in the past because he is pretty controlling & temperamental. She's pretty shut off from the outside world. No communication with family for years besides me and our Pops. Inviting her to family functions, picnics, vacations, road trips, or even just dinner when I'm in town is like pulling teeth - she always falls back to "" I need to ask my husband if he's okay with it"". Then usually in those situations, she will ghost me for days or weeks at a time. 

Anywho, I told my little sister last week that my husband jokingly booked a Bahamas cruise and it would be funny if it was the same ship...... Well, it is. At first, my sister was excited. It was all she could talk bout for almost a week. Then all of a sudden she went radio silent and then texts me in the morning saying they are probably going to rebook. Then responds again with I don't want to fucking talk about it. Then ghosts me again and is currently still in ghost mode. 

​

So.. Am I The Asshole? For taking the same cruise as my sister( she was excited about it )  and her husband ( my ex-husband ). Should we have thought about rebooking because my ex cannot be a grown adult?",,1,1,1.0
126,urmomsthebombs,AITA for not hanging out with my family?,"All of my family is older than me (17F), and I‘m an only child. Most of my cousins are around 10-15 years older than me because my parents had me pretty late. 

I try to talk with them, but they usually act like I’m just a kid that wouldn’t get their conversations. It’s super annoying, so recently I haven’t been interacting with They FaceTime with each other about every month, and all they talk about is random shit or they just straight up complain. I would rather be with my friends than listen to them. My parents think I should still join the call and talk, but I’ve tried before and even then they barely act like I’m there. It’s super annoying. Whenever I try to explain to my parents why I don’t want to get on the call, they start blaming me saying I don’t even try, even though I have. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
130,Logical-Argument-619,AITA for not inviting my ‘bff’ to my birthday party even though she would do/say hateful things to me? Also would make the party about herself…,"Me and my now ex-bestfriend knew each other since we were three years old. We went to kindergarten together as well as school. She was always rude, (I’m sensitive I’ll give her that) but since we were kids she would just throw hateful words at me. She would say (at four years old)‘I hate you!’‘I wish we never met!’‘I hope you d!e’‘You’re a horrible person’ etc. It continued up until school. I would cry most nights because of her words. She would often backstab me, blackmail me or replace me for other friends. In school she would replace me more and more and even bully me with those people but I always forgave her. Well one day before my birthday I had enough and had a sleepover with one of her new ‘bff’ and another girl. They were my friends as well and we had sort of a friend group but I invited only two people out of all seven or eight. I didn’t invite her and she got really upset. However I managed to ignore her hateful texts and cut her off. Best thing I’ve done but AITA for not inviting my ‘bff’ to my birthday party even though she did some horrible things and would make the party all about her?",,1,1,1.0
131,fredrickson-,AITA Stupid argument with sister,"My 29f sister who i’ll call Jen in this and me 18f just had an argument about a comment she had made. 

We just got dropped off at home from mothers fiancés house it is a short distance from my driveway to front door so just walked in my slippers. This was a mistake due to it raining all day so my slippers and socks got soaking wet I said to my sisters “my socks are really wet” to which Jen said “well obviously” and laughed but i felt not in a jokey way in a more making fun of me which made me feel stupid (due to her tone and the type of laugh). To which i replied saying it was an unnecessary comment which turned into her explaining herself by saying my initial sentence was unnecessary which I found rude and said so. This turned into around 10 minutes and shouting/explaining why the other is wrong. 

I know this is a stupid argument but i’ve been wanting to post my arguments on here to get others opinions and apologize when i am wrong as I don’t seem to be able to recognize when I am on my own without a clear conversation as to what and why it was wrong.",,1,1,1.0
133,vcatdebrusk,AITA for reporting a guy at the gym?,"i don’t know if i overreacted to this situation but today i was at the gym i go to. i go to crunch, and i was in the hiit zone doing bulgarians on one of the pads and i caught this one dude watching me frequently. at first i figured this guy was waiting for the pad, but after i put away the weights and moved on to do deadlifts and goblet squats, this didn’t move, and in fact kept watching me. i want to specify that i’m a 14 year old girl. this guy wasn’t working out. i only saw him do some squats once, but he kept dragging these plates and pads around the hiit zone and just sitting there. he would sit on the pads, then the seated cable rows, then repeat. i caught him still watching. so i finished up and told front desk. they said they’d talk to him and probably kick him out. idk, i felt really uncomfortable and got a bad vibe. now im wondering if i’m the TA because i accused some guy of being a creep when he might have not. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
136,Senior-Ebb-1978,AITA for accepting large sums of money from my mom but never responding to her messages?,"I believe my mom strongly felt something towards me that she thought was love. But she's also an extremely damaged, disturbed person. There was a normal, caring ""mode"" you could talk to. But a switch could flip abruptly and that person was GONE, unreachable, replaced by someone warped. I was not allowed ANY privacy, dignity, boundaries, or needs. Attempts to have them were brutally punished. She had only 1 parenting tool or technique: non-stop punishment. The type of punishment was prescribed by her fundamentalist church, is against the rules to mention on this sub, and nowadays would probably get her jail time. Any struggle, difficulty, failure, or problem was viciously, enthusiastically met with this. Difficulty understanding an academic concept? Getting bullied in school? Lost an item? Spilled something? Struggling with body changes? Vicious punishment is the response to all of them.


There was also: sabotage. If she finds out you are struggling with anything at all, she will purposely work to make it even harder because she gets a sick satisfaction watching you struggle. There was also nonstop deliberate verbal humiliation, another ""parenting technique"" to ""teach lessons.""


She doesn't quite meet the criteria for NPD (is a lot closer to BPD) but can never admit fault or wrongness. Is a master at bad-faith, manipulative ""argument techniques"" -- was using gaslighting and DARVO daily decades before those became internet buzzwords.


I've never been able to come to my mom for advice. Not as a child or as a teen or now, because we never developed that relationship.  I actually can't remember ever having a normal conversation with her about anything. I tried to develop an ""adult"" relationship with her once I was established and independent and she couldn't hurt me anymore, but she continued her behaviors and just made it impossible.


It's been years since we've spoken even though we live in the same town. I find my life is much more peaceful this way. I didn't officially announce no-contact, I just gradually stopped responding to messages and just ghosted her.


Lately I guess she has come into some money because she has been periodically sending LARGE sums of money. This is bizarre because as a kid, I was not allowed to have/express needs AT ALL. That wasn't only about money. But, as an example, I wore non-fitting, worn out clothes my entire childhood because asking for clothes made her very angry. Despite my parents always being financially comfortable. If I ever asked for ANYTHING, costing money or not, I'd be brutally punished. So getting all this money from her is bizarre. I accept it, but still, I don't talk to her and just ignore all her messages. I just wouldn't know how to talk to her again after these years of estrangement. It's less stressful to just stay apart. I have been told this makes me an extreme asshole.",,1,1,1.0
141,CutestSneeze,AITA for Refusing to get my so's gifts?,"So two of my SO's gifts for Christmas came in late.  One being a tool kit, and the other being a set of books.  They should both be at my grandparents today along with my dad since he's in town. I was going to grab the gift yesterday while he was at work, but the books weren't there yet since my dad is bringing them with him.   So I called him and told him we could wait till tomorrow to get them.   Now to today, we're playing diablo and he asked me ""when are YOU going to your grandparents"" I paused and looked to him a bit confused before he asked gain.  ""When are YOU going to your grandparents."" he wanted me, but myself to get them?  So I told him that I wasn't going then.  He didnt understand that and I told him, I thought the plan was to go together.   He then says he doesn't want to go since it's his day off.   It's the last day of my vacation, and I reminded him that he's off tomorrow.   He kind of just said okay and that he would leave the presents there.   I'm a little mad considering I would rather he go with me since I have bad anxiety around driving and my grandparents live 45 miles away.  And, it's my last day to relax before going back to work which im dreading.  So am I the asshole?  Should I go get the gifts?",,1,1,1.0
143,Educational_Towel754,AITA for telling my son and daughter in-law that my biological grandson deserves better?,"This is about my biological grandson Cove (8) and my stepgrandkids Elizabeth (11), Andrew (10) and Michael (9). My son was a widower and his first wife died when Cove was 2. He met Veda who was a widow with three kids and they married two years ago. From the beginning they talked about how blessed they were that their family blended so well they were no longer a blended family and were just a family.

But I have noticed Cove is always on the outside. We get together as a family and my stepgrandkids play together and don't include Cove ever. I have noticed him trying to get involved but they never let him. It became perfectly clear this Christmas as they were staying with us for a few days. My son and Veda left the kids with my husband and I for a few hours and we tried to come up with ways to entertain the kids. Elizabeth, Andrew and Michael did not want to do anything that included Cove, they did want a movie, but they kept telling me a movie Cove didn't like, and didn't want to try and get something all four would like. They left and went off to play and told Cove to stay behind. This is when he told me it happens all the time. How they have little sleepovers in each other's rooms at home and always say he can't join, how they leave him once Veda's back is turned and how they always complain to him when they have to do group stuff with just him and Veda or my son. He told me Elizabeth says they aren't a real family and they want their mom to divorce his dad. He said he's used to it and he tries not to be sad. But that it does make him sad because they have so much fun and he never gets to be part of it. He also mentioned they refused to let him sleep in the room at my house with them and he slept downstairs after the adults went to bed.

Christmas Day arrived and I brought up Cove being excluded after the other three ran outside to enjoy a family gift given by my daughter and left Cove to sit and watch them. Veda told them to let him play and they did until she came back inside. Then they excluded him again. When Veda noticed she went back out to tell them, the kids argued back and said they don't want Cove to join, he wanted to come inside, Veda and my son told him he should play with his siblings. Michael yelled that Cove isn't their brother and ran inside. Elizabeth and Andrew followed him. The next day Cove was so upset. So I spoke to my son and Veda. I told them what Cove had told me. Veda said she would make sure the kids are playing with Cove. I told them more than that needed to happen, because it would be worthless if he feels unwanted even if he is forced in. They told me the kids just need to get over it. I told them it's not fair to Cove and he deserves better than to be forced into play when he isn't wanted and made to deal with that rejection. They said I had no business saying that to them. They are the parents.

They are still angry and I worry I overstepped. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
144,undersea03,AITA - I stole two cigarettes from my granddad who's almost died.,"For context, my (16F) granddad only two or three years back had a surgery we were told he most-likely wasn't going to come out of. Miraculously he survived, and continues to live as he did before, i.e. drinking heavily, smoking, ""unhealthy"" diets and all despite doctor's advice, but as long as he's happy I'm happy, I love my granddad.

Also, pretty much my whole family consists of smokers.

A year ago or so now, I started vaping, I wouldn't have considered myself addicted because I could go long periods without vaping, but as soon as I remembered I had one in my room it'd be the first thing I did when I got home. It was only a short while later that I had my first cigarette, and just recently I've been wanting to smoke more badly. A few months ago I stole the ""ingredients"" from my parents, went out and managed to construct some flimsy cigarette on my own, I think this is when I started to notice something was a little off. I love my parents, but something had driven me to steal from them before.

I've done it again tonight, my granddad and mother were elsewhere in the house and I took from two cigarettes from a pack of straights belonging to my granddad. I understand that in comparison with other people's problems, mine isn't anything serious but I feel awful. I've tried buying them from other people my age but everyone is so flimsy and backs out last minute. I fear that I'll do it again.",,1,1,1.0
145,no-art121,AITA for not telling my girlfriend how much I spent travelling to see my daughter?,"So I 31M live with my girlfriend 27F. I have a daughter from a previous relationship who is 9. I live about 80 miles from my daughter, I travel to see her as much as I can, being away from home about 11-13 hours during my visit. Usually I travel by bus to see her, which costs around £10. However due to them cancelling the last bus back, this time I decided to get the train as i got to spend more time with my daughter. When i looked online it cost about £25 to book in advance, I assumed it would have been the same on the day, turns out it was £59. I never told my girlfriend since I didn't think it mattered, but today it came up in conversation with my mum. My girlfriend was surprised at how much it cost, asking why I never told her. When my mum left and our baby was down for a nap, she lay  into me saying I can't just spend so much money without discussing it with her. That the whole reason she's a becoming a stay at home mum is because we can't afford the childcare. Yet when it comes to my older daughter I spend big amounts without talking with her.

So Aita?

Before anyone asks why i didn't book in advance. My ex has a habit to cancel last minute.",,1,1,1.0
146,throwawayzupol,AITA for not expecting others to supply happiness?,"My husband asked my stepdaughter (his daughter) to watch a certain movie with him earlier today. She is 11 years old and didn’t feel like it, had already seen it, and wanted to go hang out in her room doing her own thing. To me, that is totally understandable and there’s nothing wrong with that. He got upset with her and was making her feel guilty about it. I was on the phone during the time this was happening. Afterwards, I asked him about it and he said he was trying to teach her that sometimes you do things you don’t want to do to make other people you love happy. He said do you not agree with that? I said no, not necessarily. Before I could explain, he looks at me with a shit eating grin on his face and says, “oh, I know.” And then gets up and walks away. I understand he wanted to spend time with her, but I don’t think that’s a good lesson to teach. 

AITA for telling him I didn’t think it was healthy to expect others to supply happiness for us? In my opinion, there is a big problem when you’re taught to feel you’re responsible for other’s happiness or emotions. You’re not. I personally feel this is toxic. She’s her own human being with her own desires, needs, and wants. She’s not responsible for making him happy. If she didn’t feel like watching a movie, that’s ok.",,1,1,1.0
148,CCAnalyst89,AITA for waiting till we start eating dinner to tell me husband I’m upset?,"My husband (36M) and I (33F) make a fancy dinner at home together every New Years Eve. We have two kids, and aren’t drinkers, so going out just isn’t appealing to us. We always make a ton of food - giant tomahawk steak, tiger shrimp, twice baked potatoes, broccolini, homemade bread, glazed carrots, etc. it’s a big to do. And every year, we’ve cooked it together - we’ve listened to music and spent the whole night in the kitchen every year for the last 7 years.

We’ve been having some issues this year, fighting a lot, emotional problems, etc. This year, i was having a hard time finding the tomahawk steak, so I asked my husband, “Hey - I’ve been to 4 different stores with no luck, should we get a different steak?” He says, “No, we cook it every year - it’s tradition.” I was annoyed, but also I little excited thinking, “Okay - he still wants to continue our tradition, he still cares about it and me.”
I ended up driving to a 5th store (with our  baby in tow) 45 minutes away to find the steak. 

When I got home, i asked him, “Hey - i wanna take a shower, can you help me clean up so we can cook in a clean kitchen?” He said sure, but never came upstairs. i took my shower, then started cleaning. Still didn’t come up. I started prepping the food. Still nothing. Started cooking everything mentioned above, by myself, still nothing. I spent three hours in the kitchen making everything by self. No music, no laughter, no spending time with each other. Nothing like our normal tradition.

Three hours later, i set the table for the four of us, made everyone’s plates, and called out, “Dinner’s ready!” Everyone comes and sits down and starts eating. He doesn’t say a word except makes a comment about the steak being too rare. At this point, I’m visibly upset. I’m stewing. Angrily eating my steak (which I like rare.) And he says, “What’s wrong?” I said “nothing” because I didn’t want to start yet another fight with him over this, but he demands I tell him. So I say, “Why didn’t you come up to cook with me?”
 And says, “Because i thought you wanted to do it yourself, why didn’t you just ask?!” He then stands up, walks away from the table, and goes to bed. Leaves me with our two kids to finish eating and cleaning up alone. I spent the countdown laying in bed alone and fell asleep. Today he’s stomping around the house pissed off at me for not “just saying something.” 

AITA for not being more direct? I really didn’t think I needed to ask him to want to spend time with me making dinner like we always have, but also, maybe he really did think I had it under control. Maybe I should have just asked him.",,1,1,1.0
149,nicfanz,AITA for not caring about my mom when she never cared about me?,"My mom never cared about me and never will. She never listened to my problems/supported me/gave me advice. If I tried to tell her anything, she would get mad and say ""Get over it. Stop complaining.""

When I was abused/bullied by my brother throughout my life she didn't care and defended him. ""Stop lying about your brother. He would never do that. You're just jealous. He's perfect. Stop picking on him and focus on yourself"" she said. When I was bullied at school, ""Stop complaining,"" she said. If I was sick, ""You're always sick,"" she said. You get the picture. But with her friends/my brother, she would be the best friend/mother.

So now as an adult, I do not care to talk to her. I will not listen to her problems, shed a tear, or show sympathy for her. She is basically a stranger to me. My friends say I should care about my mother and stop being so cold. They said I'm nicer to my aunt/my friend's mother than my own mom. Well, my aunt and friend's mom actually care about me and ask about my day and care about my feelings. My own mother seeing I was depressed didn't give a shit and told me to get over it.

AITA for not being close to my mother and showing care/love?",,1,1,1.0
154,According-Volume3674,AITA for giving a little attitude to my mom this new years,"So I woke up on New Years and my parents already got the food out and everything and they were about to eat, but they waited for me to come downstairs and let me grab what I wanted to eat. Usually, I am not in the mood for talking too much because I was still very much sleepy. So I look around the table to see what I'd wanna eat. In the meantime, both of my parents are overwhelming me telling me what I should grab and stuff like that. I get annoyed at this because I can very clearly see what's on the table and I can choose what I'd like to eat for myself. I appreciate them telling me where stuff is and all, but specifically, the bread was right next to me and it seems pointless for them to tell me that since I have eyes and can see. I end up accidentally staining my shirt while going to grab across the table for some food and it happens at the same time as my mom is telling me where the bread is. This is where I snap a little and I tell her to stop telling me what to grab and where each type of food is since I can see for myself and that I'm not blind. This may have been a bit rude on my part but what my mom does after seems like she's overreacting.

So I go back upstairs to change my shirt and I come back downstairs to see her crying- she's saying that I ruined her New Years and that she can't have anything. So for the next hour, she's crying and she goes on a rant about how I don't do anything in the house, how I'm a lazy piece of shit (mind you, I had winter break in between quarters and I took it upon myself to work 2 jobs instead of enjoying my break. I'm an 18-year-old phlebotomist and I'm also a pre-med student. Shit isn't easy and there aren't many people who can say they are a phlebotomist at 18.) This really frustrates me because I have been anything but lazy, even around the house. I do my chores and clean my room, do my laundry, all of that crap. She continues saying that she never wants to see me ever again and that she never even wants to look at me. She also starts saying that my dad and I slave her around and that she has to do all the cooking and she has to work two jobs as well and that she never gets a break. Basically saying she's a slave to this household. Literally nobody forces her to do any of this stuff and I'm very appreciative of her making us food and all, but I would be perfectly fine with making my own food but she insists that she makes it and now she's here complaining about it. 

I just feel like she may be overreacting, my attitude was probably uncalled for but I was just feeling overwhelmed and I did apologize for it afterward but she just went on this huge huge rant.",,1,1,1.0
155,aitasickbabysitter,AITA for not paying my babysitter’s medical bills,"My husband and I went out with friends a few weeks ago and had to hire a babysitter. We hired one (16) that our friends strongly recommended. They love her and showed pictures of activities she’s done with their kids and proof of her being cpr/first aid certified. The only thing is she has a weak immune system so you have to tell her if any of the kids are sick with anything, no matter how small, and she’ll cancel. 

We have an au pair. The only reason she couldn’t work that night was because she can only work a certain number of hours per week and this would’ve set her over. Our au pair had a sore throat the day we were supposed to leave but I completely forgot about having to tell the babysitter until she got to the house. When she got there, I told her that the au pair had a sore throat, it’s probably just a cold, and she’s going to mostly stay in her room. Babysitter said okay and my husband and I left. 

The next day I got a call from the babysitter’s mom, screaming at me for not telling her daughter that someone in the house was sick, that her daughter can’t risk being around sick people, and that she works so hard to limit her daughter’s exposure and protect her daughter and I ruined it out of selfishness. 

It turns out the au pair had strep throat and the babysitter caught it. Her mom blames me but this kid has 6 siblings, she could’ve caught it from anyone in that house. I know for a fact that it was going around my kids school and some of her siblings go to the same school so there is a good chance she could’ve gotten it from her siblings. Either way, the babysitter had ti spend a little over a week in the hospital and her mom wants me and my husband to pay her medical expenses (close to 10,000). She says she’s certain that her daughter caught it from our au pair due to our “selfishness and negligence” and that she’s willing to take us to court over this. She also said her daughter is not allowed to babysit for us anymore, which is upsetting because the kids loved her. 

My husband wants to come to a compromise like paying half the bill but I still think that’s her parents responsibility. First, there’s no way she can prove that she got it from us, and second, if her mom wants to let her babysit she has to know there’s a chance her daughter can get sick. My husband is now insisting on paying at least half of the bill so I wanted to know if I was the asshole.",,1,1,1.0
158,911user911,AITA for asking my roommate to pay for her utilities when her boyfriend is over every month?,"Hi. I (24F) live in a 2 bedroom with my roommate (24F). 

Her boyfriend comes over about 2 weeks a month and when she’s at work, he works from our place, and I work from home sometimes too. Im okay with him coming over, but I find it a bit strange that he’s at our place when she’s not even home. He’s not creepy or anything, but I do find it strange that they’re playing married couple with a roommate. They’re also pretty loud.

I also pay for more than half of utilities (I offered initially and didn’t mind at first, but seeing his frequency made me feel she should at least pay her 50%) and he does not chip in. I asked her to pay 50% with her boyfriend being over at least 1 week a month, so I figured it reasonable for her to pay her share and her boyfriends, to which she refuses. We live in LA so yeah, it’s expensive. AITA for expecting her to pay her share if she’s going to have him over so frequently when she’s not even here?",,1,1,1.0
159,shoulderaskher,AITA for tapping this woman on the shoulder to ask her a question?,I was at a party recently and there was a lot of people and loud music. I saw this one girl that I wanted to dance with. She was already dancing with some girlfriends and I lightly tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to me with this pissed of expression and said “what?!” I kinda froze up and just said “hey you look nice” and left. I was going to ask her if she wanted to dance but she gave me this really angry look. I don’t know why. I could have been trying to tell her something important. Most women I’ve tried to talk to haven’t responded like that but it’s been bothering me.,,1,1,1.0
163,commonacct5555,AITA for not understanding why people complain about me at the gym?,"Inspired by a similar gym post posted not long ago, a few people in my gym have reported me for having a visible bulge when I'm working out at the gym. My trousers aren't tight and fit quite loosely but the bulge is still visible, no matter what trousers or underwear I wear. I've been informed on multiple occasions that I need to be ""more aware of my presentation"" (translation, try to conceal your bulge more) but I don't understand how as this my natural state. 

Does it have something to do with the way I look? As in maybe people think I'm unattractive so a bulge on an unattractive guy is off-putting, meaning they're more likely to report me, whereas a bulge on an attractive guy would be pleasing to look at (to some people) so they'd be less likely to report it? 

AITA for not understanding why some people having a problem with seeing a visible bulge in the gym?",,1,1,1.0
164,MariePlays17,AITA for ending a long term friendship,"So this actually happened yesterday in New Year’s Eve. I was just chilling on my bed and scrolling through Snapchat. When this one friend texted me “hey mamasita” (as a joke) and after that, the first thing he asked if me and this girl, let’s call her Giulia, we’re still friends after I stop talking to her for over a year. without even asking me how I was, or not even happy new years. so as a normal human being, I am, I just told him no, I start talking to her a year ago. he started asking me wrong in whenever I told him the truth about what she did to me, and how she would always exclude me and make me feel inferior to other person and treat me horribly. He just kept trying to prove me wrong and deffend her, even though us to have been friends since we were both four and now we are 14. Show me after telling him I didn’t care about his opinion and him defending her. He just told me to leave that and asked me how it was Wednesday. I told him everything that has been happening in my life. He stop texting me for some reason but I knew he was online, so I got mad AF and told him to stop talking to me because out of nowhere after four months of him, not saying even hi to me he just comes up with this bitch that he knew that I hate and even defending her. So am I the asshole for saying fuck you?",,1,1,1.0
165,AITApartner,AITA for posting the birth pregnancy on IG with our best friends before calling our parents?,"Throwaway because I am subscribed to r/medicine with my  main account and my friends know that account. I(34F) and my husband(36M) are attending doctors.

We work in the same hospital with our friends from medical school K(35M) and L(36M) who are also married with each other and we are best friends. K and I were at the same term, L and husband graduated a term ahead of us. They are our best friends and if we aren't spending time with our families, we are together most of the time.

We had our baby a month ago and it was a total surprise for us that I managed to end this pregnancy with a healthy birth because I had 4 miscarriages. In this process, our parents were nothing but a pain in the ass. Our moms always tried to give unsolicited old-dated pregnancy-related advice(and my husband is a OB-GYN) ,they wanted to be present with me in the room while I was giving birth(hell no) and our dads tried to buy stuff said ""He is gonna be killer"" (nope). Our siblings also made back handed comments because we are the only ones who are having a baby 30+ (my youngest SIL had his baby when she was 20 and she is 23 right now) so ""finally you managed."" is something that I heard most. Luckily we live a clear 3 hour away from them so they don't come to us very often and we can limit our contact by that.

On the other hand K and L have been and still are the most supportive figures. They covered for us, they ran out at night for my cravings when my husband was doing a night shift or a 24 hour. They looked after me when my husband couldn't (I had a case of hyperemesis gravidarum, you vomit and you want to die and sometimes, it doesn't stop, for me luckily it was treatment responsive most of the time) and to be fair, they are more like siblings to us than our bio-ones.

When I gave birth at 28th of November surprisingly (my water came at 38th week) which ended my husband also being a part of my emergency C-section team (long story, small hospital but when you are a patient as a doctor, everything will probably go wrong) and we had our baby boy in our hands. I was discharged the day after and K and L were our first visitors as a result. We shared on our IGs a selfie with them to inform everyone we were OK. Due to all chaos, we couldn't call anyone and to be fair, we didn't think of calling anyone until we got home and when we got home, we didn't have the energy, It was a 72 hour madness. 

Well, all of our families learned the birth by this post and they are all mad. They all think we did this to deliberately excuse them and we left them purposefully on the dark, they were so worried about us and they said they wouldn't see our baby and us until a we give them a proper apology. I don't think we should apologize for anything but K and L said we might have been insensitive by posting that pic before calling them and my husband wants to apologize just to meddle the things between us and them. So, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
167,Traditional_Candy597,AITA or is my mom just being boarder line rude ?,My mom has been suffering from depression and i try everyday to make her feel included/ better. Well for NYE my boyfriend had an amazing idea to make my mom feel included and bring a homemade pizza with some wings and salad to her house and watch the ball drop together. My boyfriend and I were preparing everything before my mom got home from work and as soon as my mom walked into the door the vibe was awkward. Apparently she didn’t have the best day at work which is totally ok but she was making a point to show it. She had this sorrow look on her face and just wasn’t really saying anything which again is OK. We all start to eat and her old Weiner Dog Bobby starts whining & begging. I tell Bobby to stop as to which my mom responds and tells me to stop telling Bobby to stop and that he’s going to die soon so i should love on him..( we had just put down my eldest yellow lab a few weeks ago so it’s still fresh) but anyways.. then she proceedes to start feeding the dogs this home cooked meal me and my boyfriend put together. Is this rude ? I’m honestly annoyed/ pissed at her. Even my boyfriend made a comment about how my mom tells me to stop telling the dogs to beg.,,1,1,1.0
169,Imaginary-Theory8117,AITA for just wanting to see my boyfriend?,"Hey everyone, it's been like a week since I last saw my boyfriend. He just got back from a family trip for Christmas so I haven't seen him for a while before this too. He picked up a bug while on his trip, and he's spent the last few days in bed coughing like crazy. We don't live together so now the only time I get to talk with him is when we're on the phone. He came by my house a few days ago but all we did was lay in bed, bc he was coughing so bad. I've been trying to invite him out bc I think fresh air could help, but he keeps saying ""i cant im sick"". He said he was going to bake cookies with his mom since he can't leave the house, so I asked if he could bring some to my house. He said ""i cant im sick"". I asked if he wanted to come to grocery shop and eat sushi with me, and he said ""i cant im sick"". I asked if he wanted to go for a walk with me, he said ""i cant im sick"". Today I asked if he wanted to come with me because I have to chaperone my little siblings bc they want to go out, and I feel like my BF lost his temper with me. He went ""bro im sick, like it takes me half an hour to walk to my kitchen and it's hard to breathe even when i'm sitting still. i need rest and i need medicine please just let me stay in"". I said ok if you're so sick why haven't you gone to the doctor? He said that everyone in his family was sick too (true bc i text his sister and she said the same thing) and that when his mom and dad went to the doctor they said that all they needed was rest and it would pass. I just feel like he's using it to avoid hanging out with me. AITA???",,1,1,1.0
170,Waste-Nobody-9731,AITA for yelling at my neighbours shooting fireworks in front of my house?," I-39f live in the Netherlands where shooting fireworks for NYE is a tradition and an obsession. They are allowing from 31st 6pm to 1st 2am in most cities. Ofc, they shoot from morning but it really starts at 6pm, gets intense around 9pm and is off the chart from 11.30 to 1am.

I live in a house in front of water. We have plenty space and grass - 100feet/30m - between the houses and the water. I noticed previous years that ppl like to come here to shoot fireworks as it offers space and safety but gives us a front row to the madness.

The problem is that this year they were shooting on the street rather than the grass, so few meters away from the houses. After few years of ban, the shooting was very intense. A lot of ppl came to shoot here so the pile of fireworks boxes grew over the evening, caught fire and made quite the bonfire. Ppl starting shooting left and right of it, getting closer and closer to the houses.

I have a toddler and cats. Cats hated it but my child was in distress, crying out because it was scary and loud. Close to 1am they started shooting next to my car, big row boxes of 12/16 fireworks and i lost it. Sparks flying everywhere, loud bangs, it was too much. I ended up yelling in the street at ppl to get away from my house and stop terrorizing my child.

There were 2 groups, first one I saw on the right. They were not happy to be yelled at but they were not agressive. I made my point telling them to go shoot in front of their own front door. They said they would clean up in the morning and they were not the one shooting very close to my house and eventually left.

I was coming back to my house when I met the second group. My neighbours a few doors down, their adult children (20/25y) and their children's friends. Now they all ""fired up"" and it went ugly very fast. They were very stuck on ""We have the right to shoot fireworks, go home""""We are allowed to do"" and clearly upset that i would say something.

I clap back that it doesn't give them the right to endanger my property or terrorize my child. We got into a yelling match as I stood my ground telling them that there is plenty of space to shoot fireworks and they didn't have to do it in front of my house.

Some of my friends are saying I was the asshole for getting upset and yelling at ppl but fellow parents and pet owners are saying it was inconsiderate and dangerous to be shooting so close from the house. So was i right to tell them to shoot fireworks somewhere else?",,1,1,1.0
171,Advanced-Composer624,AITA - New Years Eve Fireworks,"I fell asleep New Years Eve and then awoke to VERY loud fireworks that sounded like they were in my living room. I went outside to the front of my single family home (on a cul-de-sac) and saw my neighbor two houses down line the street directly in front of my house with numerous flying fireworks and set them off. He said that he didn't want to wake up his little boy so he moved down a few houses (in front of mine). I said, ""oh"" and shook my head and went back inside. Probably showed my tension to my neighbor. My thought is that ""you didn't want to wake up your family, but you have no problem waking up mine."" Even though I don't have a child my neighbor's age, I do have a dog and he was crying for a couple of hours, scared out of his fur by the fireworks. I know it was New Years Eve and people want to party. To be fair, my neighbor cleaned up after himself and swept up the street with the burned out firework casings. But I thought it was inconsiderate and not sure why he didn't just use the space outside his own house. They have a large front area and backyard. There were firework casings around my pool and lawn, and I had to re-clean the car because it had firework dust all over it. I don't want it to be ""tense"" between my neighbor and I. This isn't the first time I gave him a bit of a look...the time before was when he or his wife was coming in hot in her car...we live in a cul-de-sac and I have a 15 year old who often bikes on the street. It was dark and I texted to him to please slow down.",,1,1,1.0
173,HolidayHomeThrowAway,WIBTA for locking my room during our housewarming?,"Recently we bought a holiday home overseas. Some people from the neighborhood have the key to our house so they can watch the house. The winters get really cold so they checked the temperature every week until we arrived.

We're staying in the house this winter and recently we noticed that the lower lock on the door was locked, which was odd because we only use the other lock. We were out for groceries and when we came back the door was locked like that.

The other day I noticed that some stuff from my room was missing. Nothing expensive but it's still weird. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find the stuff. I figured one of the people with the key or one of their children could've taken my stuff. 

All those people and their kids are coming over for the housewarming tonight. The kids are way younger than I am (6-13) and I'm 18. My younger sister gets along with the kids but I'd rather sit with the adults. I told my mother that I'm not really comfortable having people in my room when I'm not there but she started scolding me saying that it was rude of me to not let the children in my room and that if I didn't want to let them in I should just stay in my room and watch them all night. I could put my phone up as a camera instead and see if something else gets stolen. I'm not going to do anything drastic if I catch someone stealing, I just want my stuff back.

I'm not sure what I'm gonna do but I do want to know if it's wrong of me to lock my room.

So, WIBTA for locking my room?",,1,1,1.0
174,Jujubeeeah,"AITA for asking if that’s how my friends, sisters bunny die?","I 14F was at my really good friends house for New Years, it was my first time going so I wanted to make a good impression to her family. One person who stuck out was her younger sister probably around 12. Her little sister was being so rude to everyone, it was making me mad but I kept my mouth shut and continued to play board games. While later into the night, we are just finished playing codenames when her little sister starts talking about how she hates one of our friends (she didn’t know his name). I ask who, and my friend mouths his name to me. Then I ask why. She explains to me that said friends dragged a hand shovel not hard over the top of the cage. I then say “oh, and that’s how the bunny died…” immediately her sister starts screaming and runs to the other room. Queue my guilt. My friends says I’m fine and that I did nothing wrong, I didn’t think I did. Her older brother in the background then piped up and says “it’s not fine” and proceeds to tell us how she loved that bunny more than him. I promptly asked my mom to come get me because I was on the verge of tears. When the younger sister comes and slams a phone down in front of my friend. I turn to her and start apologizing and she blows a raspberry at me and glares at me before walking away! As soon as my mom was there I was out the door. I bawled my eyes out almost all night because I don’t want my friends family to think less of me! I really like this friend!",,1,1,1.0
177,darkmoon53122,"AITA for giving a box of fireworks to another customer, and getting the thing (different brand) for this customer immediately after?","I (20m) got a job at one of those fireworks stands that sell fireworks out of a shipping container for New Year's. The shipping container has three windows and there's usually two people selling fireworks out of each window, so there's atleast two customers at each window. The people working together in the windows usually try to help each other out whenever they can, so things move along quicker. 

I was getting a box of artillery (the fireworks that come with a tube and the individual shots that fire one at a time) for a family (it looked like a grandmother with her daughter and her children) at my window. 

When I got back to the window with the box of artillery the guy that I was working with had gone to ask a manager a question, and his customer asked me for a box of artillery as well, so I just handed him the box that I had just got, and immediately went to grab another box for the customers that I was working with. 

When I got back to the window (less than twenty seconds later), the grandmother of the family that I was working with was upset because I had given the first box of artillery to the customer that was next to them instead of them. 

The daughter of the family that I was working with asked if the second box of artillery did the same thing as the first because it was a different brand (I just grabbed the closest box that I saw since the aisle was only around three feet wide, so it was inconvenient to go to the other side of the shipping container just to get the same brand), and I let them know that they were the same price and did the same thing. 

That's when the grandmother of the family that I was working with said that it was about the principle, and that it didn't matter if they did the same thing. The daughter didn't seem to agree with her (she looked like she was a little embarrassed and was trying to get her mother to stop), but the customer that I gave the first box of artillery to said he understood why she was upset, and ended up giving the grandmother the first box of artillery and taking the second box.",,1,1,1.0
178,throwaway3748102,WIBTA if I confronted my sister,"I (38F) normally have a great relationship with my sister (43F) and consider her my best friend. I love my sister but she is extremely passive-aggressive, loves to gossip, and is a total people pleaser… she often puts herself in crazy situations because she doesn’t want to confront anyone and then quietly stews and vents about it after to others. I’m the opposite in that I try to confront problems when they occur and my sister has commented a few times that I could have just stay quiet instead of making an awkward situation more awkward. 

We don’t live close to one another so we were excited to see each other during the holidays. Our last night hanging out, she had way too much alcohol and started to get really aggressive and started spewing some pretty nasty stuff. Things got super awkward for my husband and me (the rest of the family had gone to bed earlier) and she made many hurtful comments… how she loves me but that I’m a b*tch, sh*t-talking about other family members, etc… the list goes on. She was grabbing me and hurting me, and at one point also grabbed my husband and I honestly thought she was going to try to drunkenly kiss him. I have never seen her this drunk - she was screaming, crying, and verbally abusive every time my husband and I tried to tell her it was time to stop drinking and go to bed. She told us to f*ck off dozens of times and chugged a bottle of wine to prove her point. I finally calmed her down and got her to bed. 

The following morning it was clear she had completely blacked out the entire evening - she has zero recollection of drinking an entire bottle of wine alone and only realized when she saw the empty bottles in the recycling after. My question is WIBTA if I confronted her about all the stuff she said while blacked out?",,1,1,1.0
179,7_9_5,AITA for being angry that my friends have not reached out to me?,"
I (25M) had this group of gamer friends that I’d play games with, go on discord, post memes and whatever and just generally be a bunch of dorks. We also had a FB group chat where we’d talk and post dumb shit.

Anyway, I recently-ish (September ‘22) had a bit of a mental breakdown. Work was dogshit, life felt like it was going nowhere, felt pretty worthless - you get the idea. Plus, the girl I had been seeing for a little bit wasn’t overly interested so we decided to call it quits. So I was feeling fairly defeated and, like I always do, I decided to hide the pain with humour. I sent a couple seemingly innocuous memes to the group chat, just your standard filthy jokes that you would only share in private, but still have a giggle over. Now I thought they were pretty much par for the course and didn’t think too much more of it until some members of the group (two girls in particular) voiced their concerns.

I can’t remember the exact context, but the memes I sent had something to do sexual harassment. I think one was a fake ad for leggings that came with a fake crotch buldge to deter would-be predators. Now normally a shit joke would be met with silence, but I was met with hostility. I was basically called out for being a prick. Seeing this reaction, and given my mental state at the time, something in my brain just said “fuck it”. I doubled down, sent an even more offensive joke, then ejected myself from the group chat. I was promptly removed and banned from the discord channels, and blocked on various social media by the two girls (the ones that took the most offense).

Fast forward to now, it has been several months since this incident and not ONE person from the group of ‘friends’ has tried to contact me. Not a single one. The very little contact I have had, I initiated. I can understand it from the two girls, but the guys too? Now, I’ve tried to apologise but I find it so difficult to find the right words. I honestly believe they overreacted because we would make the most heinous, racist, sexist, ignorant jokes all the time. There were even jokes about mental health. Hell, there’d even been jokes about sexual harassment before. But we all understood that they were just jokes. I felt as though we all understood the issues and were comfortable enough to make light of them, no matter how scary and real they are. So how do I begin to apologise genuinely to people, who I clearly upset, over something that I honestly think is not my fault? Like, I said something that you don’t like? Ok my bad. Can we move on now? Are you going to throw me a lifeline or just continue letting me drown?

It’s getting to the point where I don’t even want to salvage the friendship.

Tldr: people got upset over some edgy memes but I can’t bring myself to apologise because it wouldn’t be genuine and now they left me out to dry.",,1,1,1.0
180,PlanPure,AITA for not telling my older brother about my pregnancy personally?,"I (F21) decided, after keeping it secret for a while then  telling a few close friends of mine, to post about my pregnancy publicly on Instagram just so I could get it out of the way a month or so ago. 

About a few days to a week after the announcement, I get told by my mother that she got lectured by my grandmother (her mom) that my older brother called about how he and his wife(SIL) were upset that they had to find out online instead of personally telling them. I had a couple personal reasons of my own on why I wouldn't tell them personally: 1) I didn't want to get lectured and treated how my older sister was treated during her pregnancy by my SIL and 2) SIL is and has been emotionally ab*sive towards me ever since I chose to drop out of high school. 

Fast forward to this past Christmas, my brother still refused to talk to me or my mom all because of this to which the topic came up when my mother called my grandmother to wish her Merry Christmas. My grandmother has kind of been the mediator between the four of us but she said one of us needs to break the ice, however he won't because he's stubborn. I do understand the one who needs break the ice is me but my brother does have my phone number so he could've called once he found out the news to ask why I did what I did. 

All of this has just been really frustrating for me so I broke down and decided I'd write a hand written letter to them saying I was sorry, I had my reasons and that I'd be happy to explain everything once they have the chance to give me a call. I do want to mend this conflict since my grandmother has told me she hates family feuds but I'm more or less upset that he went to my grandmother about it instead of me. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
181,gamer_girl70,AITA for throwing my dog’s shit in a neighborhood’s trash container,"
I (14F)was walking my dog and he took a shit so i was like ok i take a bag and pick up the shit and put it in the nearest trash container then this lady comes out of her house yelling at me (i cant hear her im blasting music in my airpods) i look at her to realize shes screaming at me from the other side of the street, i take my airpods of shes screaming “THATS MY TRASH CONTAINER YOU CANT THROW YOUR SHIT (yes she really just screamed shit at a girl who looks 10 years old across the street) IN MY TRASH CONTAINER NEXT TIME ILL CALL THE POLICE” I was like “im really sorry i didnt know” and yeah now i dont wanna walk my dog anymore ever again. I asked my mom and friends and they said that yes, it was illegal but tbh no one actually cared, guess this one did. I want to know,

Am I the asshole for throwing my dogs shit (in a bag) in my neighborhood’s container as it is illegal but I didn’t know.",,1,1,1.0
182,suspiciouslyformal,AITA for asking that we have some planning in place before demo-big the bathroom?,"I (39F) and my husband (53M) have had our house for 10 years and have done a lot of improvements over the years. My husband has undertaken a lot of projects successfully. However sometimes with the pressure of work and other obligations, some things remain unfinished for a while. Last year, he removed a door to the bathroom in the hallway (there is another door right behind it—the door he removed just opened from the hall into a little vestibule where the linen closet is located before the actual bathroom door). It’s still unfinished. For the most part, I don’t have a problem with this at all. But it does stress me out when we have multiple unfinished projects and he tries to undertake more. 

This all started bc we had guests over this Xmas. I busted my butt cleaning the whole house and only asked him to do one or two things to help me ready the house (change out a toilet seat, hang some pictures, etc.) He decided that he wanted to use his time to remove the door to the bathroom and move it out to the empty door frame in the hallway leading to the vestibule. I asked him to please not waste his time on this bc 1) it was just going to create another empty unfinished door frame in the bathroom and in no way impact over all user experience, and 2) I had already busted my butt cleaning that bathroom. (It’s the only bathroom for guests). He took great offense to this saying that I was just a naysayer. Meanwhile the few things I had asked him to do didn’t get done until about an hour before guests arrived.

Side note: We just got a shed delivered this week that needs to be assembled. We also just paid $3,000 for new garage floors that will be installed in March. That is going to require that we completely empty and reorganize our completely stuffed garage in the next few months. Those are two big projects that need to get finished by March. 

The only other bathroom in our house is the master bathroom which only he uses. We want to remodel it and he has been itching to demo it. He wants to tear it out immediately and I said that it seems crazy to me to tear out a functional bathroom when 1) we haven’t even begun to pick out materials/make a plan for remodeling it and 2) we have other big projects that need to happen in the next two months. He says that I am a naysayer and am second guessing his judgment again and that in order to make a plan for the bathroom he has to tear it out. I say can we at least check out some things in the store to get an idea of what we want to do and see what the wait times are, if any for materials first so that we are sure that we can begin work immediately? He said that he is offended that I think that he wants to live in a house with a demo-Ed bathroom for an extended period of time—of course it will be repaired in a timely fashion!This was probably the biggest fight we have had and now I am wondering if I am completely crazy.",,1,1,1.0
183,millimiller123,AITA for secretly getting married and not telling anyone until a few months later?,"Throwaway account

I(f29) and my partner(m29) of 9 years never really cared about marriage, until lately. We're expecting a baby in a few weeks, and for practical reasons around that, we decided that we should get married, and celebrate our love the way we want to: Quietly, with only the required amount of witnesses, and no attention around it.
I'm one of those who never wanted to get married, because I dreaded the thought of being the center of attention one whole day. Also, we're not religious, and although my family is ""Christmas religious"" at best, they would definitely react to it, because it's tradition to marry in a church. My soon-to-be husband is also not very attention-seeking, so this kind of wedding is perfect for us.

The reason I'm asking if I'm TA, is because of my family. Specifically, my mother's side.

During my pregnancy, my mother has had issues with every boundary we've set. Examples: our baby's pictures will not be posted on social media, we didn't want the whole world to know about our pregnancy in the beginning(we miscarried right before this pregnancy, so I was a bit scared), and we wanted to announce the pregnancy in social media in our own time. She calls us weird and secretive, and ""no one she knows has ever been this strict with their families"" and blah blah blah.

We will be announcing in a short sentence that ""btw we got married on this date this year"" right before we eat when our baby gets a humanitarian baptism. We wouldn't tell them at all, had it not been that someone has invited us on a trip in a year's time, and they'll find out I changed my last name when using my personal ID for traveling tickets.

I'm stressed out enough already because of the drama (I feel) she's causing around the baby, and I'm scared my mother especially will critisise us even further for doing this our way as well.

Need to clarify, my dad, my partner's parents, and our siblings and all other extended family have no issue about our boundaries, it's only my mother.

So, AITA?


TLDR: my mom is causing a lot of stress by not respecting boundaries during my ongoing pregnancy, so I'm scared she'll throw a fit when we tell her we got married in secret in about 7 months. Not married yet",,1,1,1.0
185,DuckyTheHuman,AITA for not wanting a relationship,"Now let me give u a lil backstory

I started talking with a girl from my school that's one year younger than me. Things were going well, and since she befriended me and my best friend we decided to go out and hang out with her. That was about 2/3 weeks ago, and since she had previously told me she has a crush on me, and I was also interested in her I was pretty close to her the whole time and we were flirting a bit. 

Afterwards I learned she has told my best friend that she is making an exception for him to come hangout (meaning she didn't rly want him there), and she started acting manipulatively while we were having that little argument.

I had a bad gut feeling about her so I basically told her I can't date her, to which she decided I want to date her and just can't for some reason. I understood my mistake for leading her on and decided to just tell her I don't wanna date her and that maybe it's for the better. The next week I proceed with my life normally to which she responded to by literally mentally harassing me all week via text and at school by always making me uncomfortable (literally bursting into the classroom and yelling ,,Why are you not talking to me "", ,,Are you ignoring me"" ,,What is wrong with you"" etc. And no I wasn't ignoring her or anything (the thing is I decided to not go up to her and rather have lunch with my Best friend). So ne I was not ignoring her, I was responding to her text and all... So she started coming, acting like she cares so much asking ,,r u ok"", and ,,is everything ok "" in the same uncomfortable manner from earlier. 

I decided to start replying to her text very little so she would leave me alone. It didn't work. Today she confronted me and told me I act disgusting and should stop being like that, and ,,why were u so much nicer at the beginning"" (bc u weren't harassing me duh). I told her I usually don't like people and am a bit antisocial so her asking me every 5 days (every 5/6 days since the beginning) if I wanna hang out just me n her ain't Gon work, so she asked me ,,do u hate me?"" To which I responded thruthfully ,,yeah I kinda hate everyone and really don't like going out except with my Best friend and to the gym"" to which she started acting mean and saying stuff like ,,just say it u don't want me in ur life"" ,,I don't blame u ion want myself either"" etc. So I told her to know a bit better Abt self worth, but yeah kinda don't want anyone... (Just trying not to be rude) and she still won't leave me alone

Yes I apologized for leading her on ad told her I realized my mistake, but she just really tried to make me feel bad and succeeded by saying ,,maybe don't lead ppl on if you'll be an asshole later""

End of post but she also stalked me and knew really weird stuff about me, and said she won't stop trying.
AITA?",,1,1,1.0
186,Organic_Summer7697,AITA for telling my son if his grandparents weren’t rich he wouldn’t be alive?,"My wife and I kinda had somewhat unusual lives. We started dating when we were 14, and she got pregnant when we were 17. She didn’t want to go through with it at first but after discussing it with both of our parents we decided to go through and raise the baby. The truth is, my parents are pretty well off, and I had a career set up from them the day I graduated (which I’m still at today)

We’re 33 now and have been married for 11 years. We aren’t nearly as wealthy as my parents, we’re very middle class, but our children know the extent of how our oldest (who’s 16) came about.

So today we were playing myleage together in 2k. We were playing in the 2000s and he outsmarted me- I’ll explain. I had a horrible season in 2002 and He traded me Micheal Jordan and Rip Hamilton for my 2003 pick, I thought “haha jokes on him, now my team will be good and my draft stock will rise” it didn’t, he outsmarted me, Micheal Jordan was old and retired the next year and my team stayed bad so he used my pick to draft LeBron James.

The only hole in his plan was rip Hamilton was really underpaid, and he was happy with my team. So I extended his contract and I told my son about how I’m a master of finances.

He jokingly said “idk if you’re a master of finances, I think grandma and poppa are”

I said “yeah having rich parents is hella cool.”

He said “what do you mean? You had rich parents and got whatever you wanted that’s not cool”

I said “well… if they didn’t have what they have, I wouldn’t have the job I had when you were born, and if I didn’t have that, your mother and I wouldn’t be able to bring a baby into the world. So yes, they’re the reason you exist when you really think about it, so you better beleive I think god everyday I had rich parents, because that gave me you”

My son is really mad at me now and the wife is pretty upset too. Idk if what I said was that bad I was trying to give him some perspective

Aita?",,1,1,1.0
187,aprild99,AITA for asking for more child support from my ex?,"I've been divorced from my 1st husband for over 4 years now. We were married 12 years, have 6 children together. I filed for divorce after he told me he was going on a ""walk"" one night, 3am comes around and he's nowhere to be found so I go looking for him. Drive around and look in his work parking lot for the hell of it and lo and behold, he's in his 18 year old coworkers car. Found out he was having an affair. That was the end of that. 

Anyway, when we first split up, he legitimately had a mental breakdown and went through a period where he was very mentally unstable and ended up quitting his job. Friend of the court office wanted to go after him for child support, but since he was unemployed they only ordered him to pay the minimum amount ($360 a month for 6 kids). Keep in mind, I have full custody of all of my kids and he only recently started taking 2 of them at a time each weekend to stay with him Friday to Sundays. He also went a long time without paying me a dime until they finally started garnishing his checks.

Fast forward to today, we are on good terms and coparent pretty well. He's now doing much better than he was, has a full time IT job where he just got promoted and makes $24 an hour full time. He has a gf with kids and they just recently moved into a place, where he literally only pays $300 a month to live there (her father bought it and that's all he asks him to pay, apparently). His gf also has a good job so he's not hurting for money. 

Me, on the other hand, have been working part time, only make $15 an hour and have struggled this whole time trying to support my kids without very much help at all from the ex. I have just recently got promoted and will be getting about $2000 a month (less after taxes and my car payment get taken out), was also offered a house that's part of my job, will be living on site and it gets taken out of my salary. 

So I recently decided to file a motion to get child support payments increased. According to my states child support calculator he should be paying just under $1700 a month. I filed the motion asking for $1500. Put the court papers in the mail yesterday so he should be getting them any day. I know when he sees them he's probably going to flip out and get mad at me. 

Am I wrong for doing this? Is that asking too much? Part of me feels bad for filing the motion but at the same time I'm just about fed up with struggling to survive with all of our kids while he takes 2 out of 6 kids each weekend, only pays $360 a month and doesn't do anything else to contribute.",,1,1,1.0
188,kranked22,AITA for pushing out a family staying with us?,"AITA for pushing out a family we let live with us?

Hello all,

Me (40 M) and my wife (40 F) live in an off-grid home with our son (16), daughter (11), son (3) and foster daughter (17) outside of a small mountain town (2k people) in the central USA. 

My son works in a deli in town and at his job met “R” and her 3 young girls. My son can’t drive yet so we take him to work and know his coworkers. 

7 weeks ago “R” called and said that her BF had taken the car and left her in town. Could give her and the kids a ride home. We agreed. Come to find out they are illegal staying on someone else’s land in a trailer. The police are kicking them off the land and the relationship is over so they are about to be homeless. 

We talked and invited them to stay with us. The next day “R” is fired from the deli and we help them move in to my oldest sons bedroom (he is ok with this and we made him a private space). We discuss rules with “R” and let them get some rest. 

We give “R” and kids a few days to settle in. During this time the kids are completely unsupervised and we rarely see “R”. We assume exhaustion and are fine with helping watch the kids. After a couple days we sit “R” down to discuss a timeline and help her with resources (my wife works at a homeless shelter and has access). “R” stays early Feb is good. We say that we say that’s too long and it has to be the first week of Jan. We discuss other house rules. She agrees. 

In the weeks that follow, we order a part for her car as it’s inoperable, let her use our cars and help out with food, kids etc. We know money is tight so we only ask for some help with food. 

Friends pitch in to help with Christmas gifts, clothes and finding housing and job leads. My wife calls some local resources and passes on updated info to “R”. 

10 people in our home is straining our utilities as our power and water systems are not designed for this many people. We are running out of water sometimes and our power use is way up and I have to run the generator a lot . It is also straining us and our kids. “R” is helping with chores but her kids are often unsupervised and do what unsupervised kids do, get into everything, wake people up early, etc. 

We talked to “R” about all of this and reminded her the agreed move out date is 3 weeks away. She has lots of reasons she  hasn’t made any progress on housing and says she has been hired at two jobs but she doesn’t have a start date. Another 2 weeks go by. 

Yesterday we talked with “R” to get a status and basically she has made no progress except a job that starts this week. We held firm to the timeline and she basically said well I guess we will just go to a shelter. 

We are very conflicted about holding fast on our timeline mostly because of the kids. There are way more details on how this has gone but I can’t fit it all in. We want to help but we are at our limit. 

AITA for pushing out this family?",,1,1,1.0
192,fasesonthefamilyanna,AITA for refusing to tell the truth to my uncle for money?,"I (17 F) am my uncle's (60 M) favorite niece. He doesn't have any kids. He and my aunt really wanted to, but he discovered he couldn't. My uncle treated me like I was his own child since I was born. He even started to save money for me to take when I get to 18. 

Let's call my uncle Carl. Carl is a very conservative and tradicional man, so he finds almost everything modern abominable. He hates when kids uses technologies; he hates that women don't need to be submissive to the men in the marriage anymore; he hates marriage between people of the same sex; he hates that black people can now live with white people, and the list goes on and on.

The problem is: I've known I like girls since I was 9. He'd probably hate me when he figure it out.

Now at 17, I'm about to make my dream of study abroad come true, and the money he's been saving would help a lot. Carl agreed on giving me the money earlier for the trip, and he is even gifting me with a bonus of $5,000. 

I told my friends I'd come out after I'm out of my country, and after I use Carl's money. And I said with all words that ""I need this money, so I'm not telling him about me""; I might be the asshole here.

I like him a lot, but ultimately I've been putting myself in first place. I've been blaming myself for a long time. 

Am I being the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
194,Iliketurtlessxx,AITA for telling my moms bf it’s time for bed,"My mom has been in a relationship for almost a year now. Christmas Eve was the first time they spent the holidays at our family home with me (29) and my sisters (21 & 31) although sometimes I don’t get along with my moms boyfriend, I’m still super respectful. Christmas Eve he got super wasted and was up until 5am just blasting music and being super loud. I ignored the situation. Last night they decided last minute they would be coming over for new years and will be spending the night. When they arrived everything was great. Fast forward to 11:30pm he was super wasted, and somehow managed to spill his drink on my sisters boyfriend. I pulled my mom to the side and let her know that we should cut him off. She got super offended and continued to drink with him. Around 1am she said they’d be staying the night because they didn’t want to drive home late. I and my sisters said our good nights and went into our rooms, at around 3am i heard a loud door slam, when i went into living room i saw that he was wide awake and in the liqour cabinet. I told him it’s super late and everyone’s already in bed and that he should go to bed. Today in the morning my mom texted me soon as she left saying I was inappropriate for telling him he needs to go to bed and that we shouldn’t have gone to sleep so early because he came to drink with us and celebrate the new year, not for a sleep over. I never responded because now I feel like maybe I was a little too harsh?",,1,1,1.0
202,notmeinrealife,AITA for waking him up at 3am?,"I have had suspicions that my husband of 20 years has been cheating on me. He just shows the signs. I've point blank asked and he always says no. Shocker. Well, tonight I decided to start doing some digging. I went into the room while he was asleep and took his phone. I used to know the pattern to unlock it but he has since changed it. But, ironically enough, while I'm trying to figure it out, he gets a message from a female sending him nudes and asking him if this one is better then telling him ""good night baby"". I woke him up and asked him about the message. He told me he was sleeping and that his phone wouldn't unlock because I had tried too many times. It had the 30 second wait time clock on the screen. I told him to put in the correct pattern and it would unlock. He claimed he was half asleep and it wasn't working and was about to factory reset. He got mad and said he wasn't cheating and that he had a long day and he needed to sleep.

I left the room mad and definitely not satisfied with his answer or attitude about it. So, I went to the phone bill and found a number he has been texting for almost a full month - 1258 text messages to be exact since Dec 7. I knew he wouldn't wake up and talk about it so I texted and called the number until they responded. They finally told me they had been texting him but that they were ""just friends"". There are picture messages being sent every single day between them - both ways - and they talk at all times. Usually one of them texts at about 6 or 7am each day and gets an immediate response from the other. They claimed he never told them he was married. Said they were just friends and only talk once in a while. I told them there are over 1200 texts in less than a month...thats a lot more than once in a while.

I finally had enough and went to wake him up again because we are having this conversation.

He got mad at me for waking him up again. Told me that it isn't serious and that they ""just talk"". I asked who they were and his response was ""I don't know. Just some random person that started messaging me"". I kept persisting for more information and he kept getting mad and claiming he had a long day tomorrow and needed sleep. He finally asked if I just wanted him to leave. I told him to show me his phone and we could put this to rest once and for all. He refused and said he wasn't going to fight with me right now. I told him to leave then. He got up, got dressed and said he was going to sleep in his truck. I asked if he was really going to do that rather than prove that nothing was going on by simply showing me his phone. He said no and that had a long week and another long day tomorrow. He walked out of the house and got into his truck and is currently still in the truck, presumably, deleting texts and evidence so when he eventually has to come back in and confront the situation, I won't be able to see anything other than what he wants me to see.

AITA for confronting him at 3am?",,1,1,1.0
206,Wise_Pomelo3313,AITA for leaving a friendship of 4 years?,"This happend a while ago now and I finally feel comfortable enough to share it. So me and my girlfriend, (Luisa) where sitting one night in a group chat with a couple of friends, one of which was my friend of 4 years, (Adam)

So during our chat i realized that Adam was kind of passively aggressive against Luisa, it kind of felt like he focused the conversation towards her when he spoke. But note that it wasn't exactly noticable, so I thought it was my imagination.

The time was running late so I went to bed, however my friends where still chatting in the group call after I had left. I woke up to countless texts from Luisa with screenshots of DMs from Adam where he was flirting with her. I obviously confronted him about it and we got into a huge argument, but Luisa for some reason still wants us to be friends cause she feels like it's her fault, which it obviously isn't, and she didn't want be to bring it up to him.

So am i the asshole for triggering the argument?",,1,1,1.0
209,Sunflower10983,AITA for robbing my brother of his full inheritance?,"My brother Ben (35) is spoilt. Mum favoured him over us girls. He always got what he wanted, or he threw tantrums, even at my sister’s funeral (she was 16. Ben 14, me 11).

My dad has 2 brothers and 1 sister. When my uncle was 22, he came out as gay. My grandparents (GPs) were shocked but they loved and accepted him for who he was. My Dad married my Mum and with my uncle, did lots together. To us he was the fun uncle.  My aunt and other uncle married their partners but they were always critical of my other uncle because of his life choices. My GPs held the family together but in 2016, they both died within 9 months of each other. My aunt and uncle disowned my gay uncle. He was upset but he and my Dad have always been close, so we became his only family. In 2019, my uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer. He rewrote his will and asked my brother to be executor because Dad wasn’t coping with him being sick. Ben accepted as he believed that my uncle would split everything between him and myself.  

My uncle died in May 2021. My Dad, my uncle's boyfriend and I were with him. I called and messaged my brother repeatedly, but he didn't answer or come to say goodbye. At the funeral, Dad was a mess but my brother was giddy. A couple of weeks of my brother pestering my Dad to find the will later, we looked in my uncle’s safe. Dad unlocked it and Ben grabbed the paperwork. Soon after, he swiped everything off my uncle's desk, swore, yelled and stormed out. Later I found the will and my uncle had split his estate 4 ways. 1/4 each to my brother, myself, my uncle’s boyfriend and cancer research. Ben was angry because he only got 1/4. He contested the will. He claimed that he only accepted the job of executor because he was promised 1/2. He believed he should get 1/2 and the other 1/2 should be split 3 ways. It went to court in October 2022.  I testified, and when asked if my brother should get 1/2 of the estate because of ""all the work"" he had to do, I said no. I said my dad and I had done more than my brother helping my uncle simplify his affairs prior to his death and that my uncle was a deliberate man, and we should respect his wishes. Ben was livid but still thought he would win. He didn't. Early December I was notified that Ben got 1/4 minus costs, and the rest of us got 1/4 each.

He went nuts demanding I compensate him because I cost him ""his"" money. My mother blew up my phone with ""how could I do this to her baby"" and relatives are telling me I did the wrong thing. Mum banned me from Christmas (my parents divorced when I was 16) because of my ""poor behaviour"" and told everyone I refused to come after what I did. Ben had a NYE party and my SIL sent me a message saying “sorry” with a picture of my photo on Ben’s dartboard and a sign telling his guests to throw darts at me and to message my number and tell me I’m an AH. I only got 2 messages from his friends, so I don't think I am but Reddit, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
210,Formal-Count8795,AITA for not trying as hard as I could've for a school event?,"I was approached by a teacher around a week before Thanksgiving break, asking if I could do her a favor. She asked me to join the math subject for this school event as the third member. I didn't really want but I didn't want to say outright no and hurt her feelings so I told her that I wasn't that good at math but she pointed out that I take math a grade above my actual grade. So I ended up agreeing to join the math subject for the event. Two days later, on Friday, she gave me two packets to practice with during 5th period. But during thanksgiving break, I forgot about it until it was Friday of thanksgiving break when I finally reopened my backpack and saw the two packets(plus the other two packets for a different subject that my friend signed me up for). So grabbing them both I sat by my desk and realized that she never gave me a time for how long we would have to do these. And I spent a while just sitting there staring at the packets until I got distracted by dinner, where I then forgot for the rest of the night about said packets. And by Monday, I had only completed one and not touched the other. Monday was also the day of the school event, where we all went to a different school and did the event stuff. I ended up getting a -10 on what I did, half of the time I could barely read what was on the paper because I was nervous and tired because it was 8 am. No one said anything but I just feel guilty for doing so bad. So AITA for not trying as hard as I could've for this school event?",,1,1,1.0
211,mall2023,AITA for not letting BIL's infertile wife breastfeed after finding out she was trans?,"\[TA\]

I (24 F) have been having problems with supply since day one and it has been very distressing to rely solely on formula, emotionally and financially. 

My fiancé (36M) lost his job and took a part time one just about the time we found about the pregnancy, so we put off the wedding, and there was the additional safety issues. 

On the months we were on leave, and after his divorce, BIL (40M) has been the biggest support, even let him stay with him for 2 years so they are really, really close. And their parents were kind of well to do, so they each got inheritance, but he lost most of it in the divorce.

Now recently he got a good job and started a few weeks ago. Usually, I took the 6-6 night shift and he did in the day (except some hours of work). And he's too tired to wake up in the night so its 24 hrs for me.

We were just talking about it over dinner one day and BIL volunteered his wife, after we were on the buying breastmilk, which I didn't feel safe doing (and also $)

Atleast I knew her so I felt it was better than buying a stranger's breastmilk. 

So she started treatment for induction, a few weeks ago.

Then she came over when I told her was my baby's feeding time. As we all had taked about buying bottled/pouched breast milk and her 'providing' it, I thought she was going to pump and give me some bottles, but she assumed it was her breastfeeding my daughter. 

I didn't feel comfortable with it and tried to be polite asking her if she could just pump instead, but she was already removing her bra. She said she couldn't pump a lot and had always wanted 'little lips to suckle' on her nipples. And then talked about her transition. Which I didn't know in 2.5 years of knowing her.

Then I stopped her and said I don't know how this medically worked and just wanted to check it throughly first, with our pediatrician, because we always do when considering alternatives like goat milk and hemp milk, and he always guides us well. 

She got angry and left because I didn't think it was 'real' milk. BIL and fiancé were mad. BIL called me transphobic, and he was mad because I upset BIL. 

When I consulted the pediatrician, he wasn't sure either, said it could be possible because biological males are mammals and have mammary glands, and said we can get a breastmilk test kit and I can compare it with mine.

She refused to give a sample when I called, instead got really angry because she underwent a lactation regime for 2 months and changed her diet, and I defended that I didn't know she was going to breastfeed. And about her transition (they just told me she was infertile). 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
212,dyingpieceofshit87,AITA for calling my friend out for faking tics?,"I have to post this on this account because this friend (who I'll be calling dave) checks my main account. So, I have never seen Dave ""tic"" before. We have been friends for a couple years and I have not seen him make a single weird noise or move a part of his body weirdly but recently, he came out claiming that he has been having a problem with moving certain parts of his body uncontrollably in a way he can't control. I told him I had never seen him do that, he claims he has been ""hiding it"". So lately, he has been moving his eyes and blinking weird and doing things like snapping his fingers around me. I have told him to stop saying he does not have tics, but he gets mad every time. And most recently, he has been making this cutesy squeaking sound and claiming he cant control it.Thats when i said i will be cutting all contact with him because I do not put up with people who fake disorders. He has been trying to contact me on alt accounts and trying to explain that he really cant control it and that he will be seeing a neurologist this weekend. I feel like I might not have done the right thing but he is clearly faking it, probably for attention. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
213,woahdude12321,AITA for having a dog that likes to bark with the dogs next door,"I have a pup who’s like 8 months old. The neighbors have a couple dogs ones big and ones small. Since my dogs grown if the dogs are all out at the same time they like to all run up to the fence and get into a barking frenzy. It’s a little annoying but they’re all just having a good dog time. This happens on average probably twice a day for maybe 5-10 minutes. Sometimes the neighbors will yell stuff over. Sometimes if I’m outside with the dog I’ll walk down and pick him up and take him in but it’s not realistic all the time and it runs it’s course in a few minutes. 

AITA",,1,1,1.0
217,FeelTerribleAITA,AITA for letting my daughters friend drink at my house?,"Hello all, so a little backstory. 

My daughter in almost 17, as are her friends. Where we live the legal age for alcohol consumption is 18. 

For the past six months or so, we’ve allowed our two teens to have the occasional drink at home under our supervision. 

A few weeks back, my daughter asked if she could invite some friends over for NYE, and if they could have a few drinks. I said sure, as long as their parents were fine with it. I received confirmation from two of the friends parents that it was a ok. 

My daughters best friend (who I’ll call Emmy) is someone we know very well, and while I don’t know her parents super well, we are friendly and stop to chat every time we run into each other, or we are dropping off/picking up our daughters. 

With Emmy, I asked her if her parents were ok with her drinking and she said her Mum was totally fine with it. I didn’t even think to check with her Mum, because I know Emmy really well and have no reason at all to think she’d be dishonest. 

I’m hindsight I absolutely should have checked with Mum, but in between Christmas, NYE and one of my children’s birthdays on NYD, I just didn’t even think of it. 

The girls had an amazing time, had a few drinks and saw in the new year. 

The next morning Emmy was tired, like all the girls. Slight hangover maybe but they really didn’t drink that much. I was completely sober and home supervising them, as was my husband. 

All was fine until today when her Mum showed up at the door absolutely furious with me. 
I was mortified and apologised profusely, and explained that I just took Emmy’s word, and agreed I absolutely should have checked in as I did with the other girls who were here. 

I felt absolutely terrible, and tried to explain that I was in the wrong. I tried to assure her that I was home and sober (I don’t drink at all, ever) and that Emmy was really responsible and well behaved. 

She didn’t care and said she couldn’t trust her daughter anymore and she didn’t know what she was going to do, as there had to be consequences for it. 

I absolutely take responsibility for my part in it, although I do feel as though she is blaming me for Emmy lying to her. Emmy’s parents are quite struck however I didn’t realise to the full extent until today when my daughter explained things a little more for me. 

I feel gutted because the last thing I’d want to do is offend them or put Emmy in danger.",,1,1,1.0
220,ThrowawayCreditSitch,AITA for putting medical fees on my mom's credit card?,"I'll try to keep this snappy. CW for dental stuff. Throwaway cuz I know some family are on here. 

I (F25) was given temporary guardianship of my baby sister (F15) for 6 weeks in the fall while my parents (M48 F46) had to be overseas for several reasons. Our parents left me with mom's car and keys as well as her credit card for any expenses I might run into. 

On the first day that she stayed with me, my sister told me she had been having really bad tooth pain for a few weeks now. She was chewing only on one side of her mouth and sort of hesitant to eat. I told her I'd set her up a dentist's appointment, and I did make her one for later in the week, but the next day she had a fever and her face looked somewhat swollen on that side, plus she said her pain was much worse. 

I called the dentist again and they were able to see her that day. It ended up being an infected abscess. We needed to pull the tooth, drain the abscess, and get her antibiotics. My parents' insurance covered a lot of it, I wasn't sure what to do about the rest and my parents weren't answering the phone all day due to time zone difference. I just put down mom's credit card for the amount that needed to be covered right then, as well as to pay for the antibiotic prescription when I picked it up. 

I didn't think much of this at the time but when my parents found out, they were pissed. Dad said the credit card was for standard everyday expenses like food and gas, not emergency funds (they didn't specify this before nor provide separate money for emergencies) and that I overstepped my bounds by dropping a large sum of money on such a rash and expensive choice that mom was going to have to pay off. 

I offered to pay it back (it's technically within my means) and he said forget it, it's too late now due to my impulsivity. Mom also made an offhand comment about how I didn't ""triple check"" to make sure my sister actually needed medical attention rather than trying to get out of school. 

This was a while ago so I thought it was behind us. My parents told me we weren't gathering for the holidays this winter and I found out yesterday from my sister that a bunch of family had visited and my parents hosted, so I'm sure they're more upset than I thought. 

My take is that I made the necessary decision for my sister's well being and I don't regret it, but I could have done more to make sure I handled it in a more appropriate way financially, and maybe waited to go through with anything until we could get in touch. However, I offered to reimburse and was turned down. As the acting legal guardian at that time, it seemed urgent. I was worried about my little sister and the treatment needed to be paid for.  AITA?",,1,1,1.0
221,Pigeonsareillusions,AITA for refusing to clean the house,"I (17F), my brother, and my twin stay with our dad for 2 days a fortnight, we are clean freaks and organise everything because we get a bit stressed out otherwise.

My dad has always been a slob- his mother cleaned up after him, my mum cleaned up after him and now we clean up after him, he’s always making passive aggressive remarks like ‘ur not going to ur mums till u have cleaned ur bloody mess up’ and stuff like that. 

He seems to believe that we are the problem, he has told us that we have to keep the entire floor clean and he will clean the kitchen and his room upstairs- I think this is a very good idea. The issue is that he doesn’t clean. He makes dinner and leaves food out and dirty dishes out for days, he leaves food in the fridge until it’s rotten and mouldy.

My sister and I always clean up for him, we started trying to do ‘big house cleans’ and saying ‘I’m gonna change all the beds- could u start vacuuming?’ And he would argue, he would always blame the mess on us. We would clean the food off the floor when we first got to his house after being away for 2 weeks, we would scoop the piles of ants off the rotting food and clean up his mess on our floor (the shared living room).

We finally talked to him and said it’s getting ridiculous, the house always smells, we always clean, there are ants everywhere. He said it’s bc we don’t clean up, so my sister and I made a point this time to only clean our mess, to only wash our dishes, to only do our laundry. The house got unbearable, Now he has our Nonna involved saying we need to help dad. Dad is saying we need to stop being lazy and to help him, that it’s our house not his. 

I can’t deal with this anymore, the mess our brother and dad make and don’t clean up is never ending- he has a rent inspection coming up- we have been away for a month with our mother and he wants us to do a big family clean

So, are my sister and I the asshole for saying we wouldn’t do a house clean but just clean our floor?",,1,1,1.0
222,Tabby_The_Catt,WIBTAH for threatening to report cousins GF for perjury?," Me (24F) & Hubby (23m) have never gotten along with his cousin ""Mike""(fake name.) He's a spoiled, cry baby, golden child. Now he has a Girlfriend ""Sara"" who has a two year old child from a previous relationship. 
 They moved in with him, who is currently living in disabled grandmothers house with his parents, after only being together for 2 weeks. (Not safe, trashy in my opinion. But that's a whole other thing.) They also do nothing to help around the house and pay no bills even tho they both work. And make the disabled grandmother take care of her 2yo. 
 After being together for about 2-3 mths and supposedly on birth control she wound up pregnant. Which also is fine. Do what you want with your life. Minus the fact she is still married to ex baby daddy. A week after finding out she filed for a divorce from the previous baby daddy. 
 Well in our state you can't get a divorce while pregnant. So she is planning on hiding it. Even tho we have a mandatory 6 month waiting period for an amicable divorce. Which probably won't happen anyway because they are having trouble even locating the ex. 
 I just happen to work with law enforcement. (Not a cop) So I can get in trouble if it's found out I knew they were going to lie in court. So I threatened to inform the court if they do lie. (Which is perjury) 
 Now the family is mad I threatened to expose them if they do lie. Saying they're family and you should protect family. It surely didn't help when I said they are not my family, because they are not family to me. So everyone is saying I'm a AH. But I don't think so. I gotta look out for myself. Especially since I'm pregnant too.",,1,1,1.0
224,Inside-Amphibian,AITAH for getting mad over TV time,"So I get this is not the biggest issue in the world. But that being said, it's causing me heart burn and I need some outside perspective. 
       I have been married to my dear wife for 8 years. In that time I have spent the last 5 years working nights from 7pm-7am Wednesday threw saturday. This comes with a lot of challenges, the biggest being the lack of time together. Long story short, I feel pretty damn isolated because of my shift. So on the nights I'm home, I want 2 things. To spend time with dear wife, and to enjoy my down time. Sadly my wife has developed a habit of watching reality TV (real house wives of  blank) and yellow stone. Now I'm sure many people here are fans of one, the other or both. But I can't effing stand either one. I grew up being raised by a cowboy and spending every minute around ranches, horses, rodeos ect. And hates everything about it due to a misserible childhood she knows a lot about. I hate reality TV for the same reason( lots of drama growing up in my house) and as such, I refuse to watch any of it. 
      I figure this shouldn't be an issue because I am gone more than 50% of the time. But sadly, no. The minute it's time for my wife to watch TV, what ever I'm watching goes off, and one of those two turn on. This pretty much drives me from the living room to go find something to do by myself, or sitting there hating every second. I've explained this to my wife, pointing out I turn off anything she doesn't like(family guy, anime, futurama, yes I'm a man child) the second she walks in. But the favor is returned with ""If you don't want to watch you don't have to"". 
       I want to spend time together watching something we both enjoy. And I want us to respect each other equally, but the situation doesn't feel that way. AITAH for being upset by this? Or am I blowing something small up and I should just suck it up and watch silently along side?",,1,1,1.0
226,funguynelle,AITA for not liking my doctor’s nickname for me?,"I’m really only throwing this on here to get the entire situation off my chest cause it’s been dragging. Identity details are changed for anonymity purposes.

I (23f) work at a hospital with my mom (43f) we work in different departments. Before this, I would hang out in her department because my department is very frustrating to deal with. When I’m up there I try to stay to myself, only speaking to my mom or when someone makes small talk with me. My mom works for my doctor and we have a cordial rapport (we’ll call him James.) Everyone makes small jokes in the department and for the most part they still treat me like an adult rather than my mom’s daughter.

The thing is, my mom and James have a solid friendship so something another doctor does may irritate me and she’ll understand but if James does it there’s an excuse. “He’s just being nice, he doesn’t mean any harm, etc.” Ex. Another doctor in the department threw a piece of candy at me while I wasn’t looking and it hit my face and she understood why I was irritated. Days later James does the same thing and it’s, “He was just trying to be nice, he barely shares his favorite candy.” 

The problem:
James likes to call me by my job title (very small, a trivial position at a hospital.) It’s not condescending, he just calls me that. I don’t like it at all. I’ve addressed it jokingly, calmly, and even kept letting him call me that even though I’ve addressed it simply because I didn’t want to cause a rift in her department. I’m not a big people person so I tend to avoid conflict until it boils over. I even asked my dad if it was bad I felt a way about it, he said not at all.

One particular day I had a terrible workday, super tired just wanted to go home. I walk past James and my mom and he says, “Jobtitle Blaah Blaah Blaah.” I reply, “it’s a name day James,” then proceed to shut down all attempts to find out what’s wrong. Afterwards, my mom sends me a text telling me to address my attitude better. I respond and apologize for my tone but say however I still don’t appreciate my feelings on the matter being ignored and to keep from causing further issue I will stay in my department. I asked my dad if I addressed it correctly and he changed his tune from understanding why I didn’t like it to it wasn’t a big deal, he wishes I could get past it and I should just stop coming up there. I know my delivery that day was wrong but I just hate that everyone is bypassing my one small boundary. I have plenty of nicknames , and honestly it’s not about the name for me anymore. 

I was always dubbed the emotional sibling too (oldest of 6) so I’m really overthinking all of this. I’m tired writing this so I can give any more detail if need be later. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
227,Few-Customer-8550,AITA for not giving any of my friends my food after they didn’t even come to the store with me,Me 13m recently went to the store cause I had money I usually am nice and buy stuff for my friends but at this time I didn’t have a lot of money and I wanted to to spend it on myself now normally I would have given them food and they wouldn’t have to come to the store with me but I had to go all the way down to the mall because they didn’t have the type of snack that I wanted so I went all the way down there it took about an hour to get there and back then after when I came back my friends were at the door so I let them in and they asked if They could have any food I said no because I bought it for myself they proceeded to get angry and tried to steal my food so I kicked them out am I the asshole,,1,1,1.0
228,straw_kat,AITA for doing this to my abuser ?,"I [19F] was on a bus the other day and there was a creepy guy staring at me. The bus was pretty crowded and I was standing during the ride. The guy approached me and got behind my back. I had been wearing a mini skirt and he started to feel me with his penis. It was disgusting and I froze. I couldn't move or speak. He also used his hand and started to rub my vagina. At this point I was so grossed out, and I didn't know whether it was due to what he was doing or the fact that I had came twice.

I reached my stop, got of the bus and started walking. I turned my back and was shocked see that he was following me. We reached a dark alley and some kind of strange courage took over me. I decided to wait till he approached me. I smiled and waved at him and said naughty things. I bent down and started to finger myself. I could see that he was aroused and had let his guard down. 

I acted like I was going to kiss him, but instead I gave a big fucking kick on his groin. He was stunned and screamed in pain. He couldn't move a bit. I proceed to make him naked and call him degrading names. Also I tied him up with a few wires that were there on the road. I spat on him, as well as pissed on his face. Moreover I put my surgical gloves on and started to finger him and put his face down on the dirty road as if fucking in  doggy style. I made him ejaculate many times such that his ball sack was empty and called him my bitch boy. I recorded most of the act and said bye and that I'll send it to everyone he knows.

The next day we accidentally run into each other in another bus and he looked at me with fear in his eyes and got off at the next stop. I could see by his walking that his ass was still sore. I think he'll never lay hands on a woman again.

TL;DR I abused a guy who abused me. AITA guys ?
.",,1,1,1.0
230,Nova-Kane22,AITA for shouting at my dad that my dog isn’t being put down?,"I (19F) have lived with my dad (59M) for about 4 years since I left my mums house. He’s always worked away for 2 weeks at a time but always came back for me to make sure I’m okay, or that I have enough gas/electricity/food whilst he’s gone. 

In the 4 years I’ve stayed with him I’ve listened to him complain about work, the dog, his colleagues, his family, my brother/sister and my mum. I’ve been the one who’s been the sole taker of his emotional abuse and mental abuse so basically a punching bag for his temper but I didn’t want to leave due to to him having no one else to really talk to. He’s got severe anger issues and a bad smoking habit so the house smelt really bad when I was first there but I learnt to deal with it. 

I’m not a perfect daughter myself, I have anxiety and unmediated ADHD. Ive recently been diagnosed with PCOS so that became his new thing about me to ‘tease’ over like the unwanted hair on my neck or face as I have really dark brown hair so it shows or bad acne/oily skin. I’ve had my fair share of shouting matches with him and arguments but what teenage girl doesn’t? Basically I’ve dealt with everything to the point of crying to my mum asking to come home but she didn’t want me to come back due to our own issues so that hurt to come to terms with. My sister lets me stay with her but she has her own family to deal with and I always feel like a burden.

On December 16th, my dad and I had an argument over my dog. He’s an old man (13 nearly 14) and had accident (I’m guessing he’s scared of my dad so it was his response). So he had an accident and i was coming to clean it. During that day he was unwell and just wanted to be close to me and cuddle. He wanted to put the dog down so we had an argument that led to his anger being tipped over the edge. I was terrified (still am). My partner (22M) came to the stairs as he heard me just as my dad let go. I ran upstairs and phoned my immediate family. 

We stayed with my mum for a night and got all my important belongings from my dads to take to hers. The dog was taken in by my sister after me begging her to take him till I can get a solution. I blocked his number and all socials I can find. I’m currently looking into a new phone contract to change my number so I don’t have to worry about him contacting me over the phone. So I’m going down the NC route.

On the 19th we left my home town and came to stay with my partners family over Christmas and new years.  We’re still here and I’m still terrified of what awaits me when I go home. My mum still won’t take me or my dog in and I don’t know how long my dog can stay with my sister for.


So AITA for shouting at my dad?",,1,1,1.0
231,Strict-Gas-1917,AITA for warning my mom I want to be treated the same,"I (20f) and my mom (42) are very close, I feel like she loves her kids (22M, me, 16M) equally. But, as the middle kid, I feel like she expect too much from me. My very first day at school, she did not drop me off because she just gave birth to my lik brother the past month and it became the core memory, I was always proud of that moment bc I feel like I am independent, but, deep inside, I wanted to have a memory where she drop me off that day. This also happen on my first day being grade 1, i forgot why but she did not drop me off, while for my brothers case, she did. I knew the reason very well, they both are not as independent as me, they cried a lot so my mom just go to school and join their class for the whole day and this happened 3-4 months for both of them. 

As a student, I was quite smart and active (I joined science competition, dance, poem, etc) while my brothers are more to the quiet-unpopular kids, so, my parents expect a lot more to me compared to them. When its time for my bro to get into colleague, my parents recommend him to go abroad and be more independent and gain more experience but he refused to, he was offered a dual degree and an international class for his eligibility which he also refused, but he still got into one of the best and most prestigious uni in my country. then, when its my turn, my parents gave me the same suggestions to just go abroad to continue uni which i did. Now, my little brother is planning to go to the same uni as I am which means he will live abroad just like me. 

Last month, I tried asking for a car to my dad which he said no and I accept. Today, I was on the phone with my mom and I told her its okay if she doesnt want to give me car, I can understand since I dont want it that much (more like its better if i do but wont hurt if i dont) she told me dad might buy me one if i work here tho, so I told her either way, the car can be used by my brother if i go back to my home country, but she said the car is not neccessary and I agreed. Then, I told her, If that is the case, I expect my parents to not to give him car too during his uni years. I told her they tends to restrict something for me but they allow my brothers to do for example, I asked them to teach me how to drive since grade 9 just like my big bro but they start teaching me at grade 12, then, my lil bro at g10. My mum goes silent and told me that she feels its the other way around, they restrict my brother quite a lot but not to me. Now I feel bad because I bring this matter to the table and I think it made my mom feel bad. I just want to be treated the same, AITA? 

Please dont go hard on my parents, its their first time being parent as you guys, I know they tried their best and I love them so much.",,1,1,1.0
232,mahan34,AITA for packing my ex's shit for him??,Ok so on Dec 15 at 130am I caught my boyfriend at another girls house when he⁹ didn't come home from work. Pretty much except for 2 days he has been there since. He has already took most of his clothes and other varies things.... So over this past weekend I packed his things up for him and put everything by the bedroom door to make things easier for us both. Well when he came by here and saw his stuff packed he was livid and acts like I was totally 100% in the wrong because he never said he was leaving????,,1,1,1.0
234,Atlas_Titanz,AITA for not showing up at my art teacher's presentation that had my OWN art and comics.,"When I was younger I liked to draw and create stuff. That is why I liked art class.The teacher made me rethink my whole life. It was not the first time she did something to piss me of. She did three things that made me rethink all the decisions I made.The first one was about a competition I had to be. She was supposed to call every participant. but she,and I quote, said""I forgot"".It was so annoying for me.Since I actually tried to exercise my anatomy.
The second one was with some comics. In class we were supposed to do some little comics.I decided I should make a little comic with my two characters I wrote a book about.What it was about doesn't matter in the story. After I finally finished the comic the teacher told me:""It look very nice but may you make it in a bigger page?"" I wasn't mad or anything I just did it. After that she said:""hmm,It doesn't look good on a big page.Can you make it in a small and add another 4 pages of story?""I started getting annoyed since I only had 1 week to do with.But I still did it. After some days passing I went to her and gave her the pages.And after all these things I did to get to her she said ""Uhm,I can't send these anymore,but I can't try.But you weren't supposed to do that.You were supposed to make them one page per story.""I got so annoyed.The next day she came to our class and asked me and my previously sick friend for the comics.I said that""Oh uhm sorry we don't have it""She got so annoyed she just left.
The last thing that made me lose my shit was the time she stole my cousin's art.It was a normal day before Christmas break.We were drawing Christmas stuff.I was drawing a old OC  with a Christmas tree. She then asked me if she can borrow some art. I didn't care. I gave her my sketchbook and she looked into it.It had a fanart of a show I really liked back then ,some random character I made up and a self portrait.She ripped them and told me to put my name and phone number.I was confused and just did it.After writing I saw my cousin's art on the table.There were some comics With cats she saw on Pinterest.I ignored it but after the class was done and she left. my cousin comes up to me saying she(the teacher) stole her art.
After some days she came to our classroom and told us to come to a presentation we had our art on. I said yes and my friend also said yes. We both went in the time she told us to but the door was locked.So we just left. After the Christmas break she came to us. Angry red and asked us why we weren't there.i ignored her and my friend said that the door was locked.
AITA for ignoring her that day?",,1,1,1.0
235,Momma_maker524,WIBTA for following through on a plan to ensure that people follow my boundaries,"Would I be the asshole for using an electronic locking gate and not letting ANYONE know the pin except the people who live in the house? Ok, so backstory; my family, as well as my husband's, has a tendency to just come over to our house unannounced. We have asked them multiple times to call first or at least text but they won't, and usually just say ""oh, we were just already out so we decided to drop in"" in a super sweet excited voice that lets you know that they expect you to be happy and excited to see them and not at all inconvenienced. But they are also mostly older people who, I understand are lonely and need company, but are just too much. They fuss at my dog for being on the furniture (he lives here, you don't, shut up) they fuss at my husband and I about how we parent (they tell us we fuss and yell to often at my son, he is going on 10 and knows what to and not to do, he's just going through his rebellious phase early) and they fuss about how it's messy at our house (again, a 10 year old boy and a dog, I think having having dishes still in the dishwasher, a couple loads of laundry, and maybe being a week behind on vacuuming is doing pretty good). We have told them that if they don't like it, don't come over, but that went over like a lead balloon. But my husband wants to put up a fence and our families have said that it's a good idea. Then they heard the actual plan, we plan on fencing in the entire yard with a privacy fence and having a gate on the walkway. Then have a chain link fence around the inside perimeter of the property lines and at the edge of the driveway have another gate, but this one uses an electronic lock, an intercom, and a camera, all of which can be controlled in the house. Our families are against this, as they say that we would be able to pretend not to be home when they came over (this was kinda the idea). If they called before coming over we wouldn't have an issue letting them in, but when they refuse to respect our boundaries and our house, they will be refused. Most of them are saying that I'm the asshole (since it was my idea for the gate/accessories) but I think that I'm justified.",,1,1,1.0
238,throwaway1849302020,AITA for confronting my MIL gives my BIL all kinds of money but no money to us and makes us buy stuff on Amazon,"So my MIL has been giving my BIL 50k USD to buy a house and for the upcoming baby. I have not said anything even though we have gotten nothing. I am very well aware that this is her money and she can spend it however she likes. She promised us a new washer and drier and changed it to “no no that will be in the next house.” My husband graduated and she promised him a 1000 dollars but then changed her mind about it and said “I will help you with the next house.” Just insane empty promises like that. I have not really let it bother me at all seeing as it is not really my money. It bothers my husband a lot though and he has officially gone NC with her since this Christmas. 

Me and her have been very close because when I moved to the USA, however, I have a demanding job and no time for her, but always very sweetly talk to her and text her. She expects 1 hour phone calls and I try to give those to her as much as I can. My SIL in contrast is really rude to her and even yelled at her. They barley have any relationship and I have to give it to my SIL for keeping my MIL so whipped. Good for her! 

What has really bothered me is that my MIL makes us buy amazon stuff for her and say she should repay us and never would. This is like $1000 dollars worth of stuff. Every time I have asked my husband he would not ask for the money. So after Christmas where she low balled me on my and my husbands Christmas gift and gave my SIL and BIL a lot more I was sick and tired of it. I texted her saying no more amazon stuff and that she low balled me on our Christmas gifts and never repays us on the amazon stuff we buy. If you are not going to give us anything don’t take from us either. She read all of them and has not responded. My husband has blocked her. But at this point, I have decided that she cannot come to my graduation. I am so thankful she has stopped messaging me and wasting my time. Am I being cheap and immature? Would you say my MIL is in the wrong or AITA?

TLDR: My MIL makes us buy things for her on Amazon and doesn’t give us the money back. After I confronted her she has not responded. AITA for confronting her?",,1,1,1.0
242,fuckdoll999,AITA for calling a depressed teen boy not attractive in my opinion?,"aita
at some point when i was maybe 13, my mum showed me a picture of some dude around my age and said “is he good looking?”

i have zero idea who this guy is for reference.

im bi with a preference for girls and not so much into conventionally attractive guys. she knows this.

i said “not to me, but like i guess in general yeah” because he wouldn’t be my type.

she pushed and i stood by what i said.

she then suddenly turned and seemed really cold and offended.

she told me how he’s the son of a friend of a friend of hers, and said he feels very depressed because he thinks he’s ugly and she didn’t expect that response and she thinks he’s good looking and seemed bitter that i hadn’t said he was good looking.

i then tried to reiterate i think he is good looking in general, just not my type and she became incredibly sulky and lowkey cold shouldered me.

i hadn’t meant any harm and i didn’t know the situation but i feel really bad about it still.

aita?",,1,1,1.0
243,CodyHyperzine,AITA for not following my girlfriend when she found out her phone was missing?,"​

I M31 took my girlfriend F29 out for a mini lunch date after work, Afterwards we stopped by Target I offer dropped her in the front while I try to find parking she happily accepts and tells me she will be near the front in the seasonal section.

I park the car on the side of the building and meet up with her inside everything proceeds as normal and we end up checking out with a little more than expected as how Target trips often go so I offer to carry the bags for her hands full as we are leaving, She then realized her phone was missing and rushes back inside to look for it before I cold say anything she was gone my first thought was to follow to help look but then I had the idea to quickly load the items into the car and then assist her in looking for her phone just as I finished loading the car I get a call from her she is frantically asking where I am and why I did not follow her into the store, I tell my location and explain I was going to head inside to help look for her phone after loading the car she quickly cuts me off saying ''I don't believe you'' and says I should have been there for her.

I don't feel like I did anything wrong I thought I was being proactive by trying to load the car first after all how much help could I really be with my hands full of Target bags? Things on escalated from there and now she's does not want to talk to me It was a long quite drive home and I don't really know how to approach this. AITA for not following her from the start?",,1,1,1.0
246,Senior-Ebb-1978,AITA for accepting large sums of money from my mom but never responding to her messages?,"I believe my mom strongly felt something towards me that she thought was love. But she's also an extremely damaged, disturbed person. There was a normal, caring ""mode"" you could talk to. But a switch could flip abruptly and that person was GONE, unreachable, replaced by someone warped. I was not allowed ANY privacy, dignity, boundaries, or needs. Attempts to have them were viciously punished. She had only 1 parenting tool or technique: non-stop punishment. The type of punishment was prescribed by her fundamentalist church, and she would never get away with it nowadays. Any struggle, difficulty, failure, or problem was angrily, enthusiastically met with this. Difficulty understanding an academic concept? Getting bullied in school? Lost an item? Spilled something? Struggling with body changes? Vicious punishment is the response to all of them.

There was also: sabotage. If she finds out you are struggling with anything at all, she will purposely work to make it even harder because she gets a sick satisfaction watching you struggle. There was also nonstop deliberate verbal humiliation, another ""parenting technique"" to ""teach lessons.""

She doesn't quite meet the criteria for NPD (is a lot closer to BPD) but can never admit fault or wrongness. Is a master at bad-faith, manipulative ""argument techniques"" -- was using gaslighting and DARVO daily decades before those became internet buzzwords.

I've never been able to come to my mom for advice. Not as a child or as a teen or now, because we never developed that relationship. I actually can't remember ever having a normal conversation with her about anything. I tried to develop an ""adult"" relationship with her once I was established and independent and she couldn't do much to mess with me anymore, but she continued her behaviors and just made it impossible.

It's been years since we've spoken even though we live in the same town. I find my life is much more peaceful this way. I didn't officially announce no-contact, I just gradually stopped responding to messages and just ghosted her.

Lately I guess she has come into some money because she has been periodically sending LARGE sums of money. This is bizarre because as a kid, I was not allowed to have/express needs AT ALL. That wasn't only about money. But, as an example, I wore non-fitting, worn out clothes my entire childhood because asking for clothes made her very angry. Despite my parents always being financially comfortable. If I ever asked for ANYTHING, costing money or not, I'd be brutally punished. So getting all this money from her is bizarre. I accept it, but still, I don't talk to her and just ignore all her messages. I just wouldn't know how to talk to her again after these years of estrangement. It's less stressful to just stay apart. I have been told this makes me an extreme asshole.",,1,1,1.0
249,Striking_Ad_6501,AITA for raising my voice at my mother over a topic she knows I hate.,"Back when I was younger I had issues where I would hold in my poop and basically poop myself. 

Today I told my mom I had to poop jokingly and my dad told me to come eat with him someone so I said sure. My mom then replied with ""great now she's going to hold it again"" and rolled her eyes. I got extremely upset because she knows I'm sensitive about the topic. My mom yelled back ""I didn't say anything wrong why are you yelling at me."" I repeated what she first said, and my dad who was still standing there told her ""You just told her that, what do you mean you didn't say anything?"" Then she started crying. I got in the car with my dad after and he said ""you really need to start being nicer to your mom.""  

Why does no one understand my reason for why I'm mad?

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
250,CodyHyperzine,AITA for not following my girlfriend when she found out her phone was missing.,"I M31 took my girlfriend F29 out for a mini lunch date after work, Afterwards we stopped by Target I offer dropped her in the front while I try to find parking she happily accepts and tells me she will be near the front in the seasonal section. 

I park the car on the side of the building and meet up with her inside everything proceeds as normal and we end up checking out with a little more than expected as how Target trips often go so I offer to carry the bags for her hands full as we are leaving, She then realized her phone was missing and rushes back inside to look for it before I cold say anything she was gone my first thought was to follow to help look but then I had the idea to quickly load the items into the car and then assist her in looking for her phone just as I finished loading the car I get a call from her she is frantically asking where I am and why I did not follow her into the store, I tell my location and explain I was going to head inside to help look for her phone after loading the car she quickly cuts me off saying ''I don't believe you'' and says I should have been there for her. 

I don't feel like I did anything wrong I thought I was being proactive by trying to load the car first after all how much help could I really be with my hands full of Target bags? Things on escalated from there and now she's does not want to talk to me It was a long quite drive home and I don't really know how to approach this AITA?",,1,1,1.0
252,GlitchyEnk,AITA for wanting to make things easier for everyone?,"I’m a young boy (15 yo) and I have ADHD. My mom and my sister are amazing people and I really look up to them. My mom is strict but she’s a wonderful woman and my sister cares a lot about me but shows it in mean ways. But I love them both dearly. I don’t think they should love me back though. All I’ve ever caused was a heck tone of misfortune and just bad vibes all together. 

My mom is hard working and my sis is very good at school. They both are really good at what they do, meanwhile I’m just a dumbass who doesn’t know how to do shit fast enough or even correctly. I always hang out with my friends (doing role plays that NO ONE is interested in me talking about), despite my mom’s rules. She wastes her money on me, even though she has a daughter that’s better than me. And most of the time, because of my ADHD, I forget to do many important things and just focus on things that make me happy. That makes me selfish.

Surprisingly, I have friends that I love to hang out with (both irl and in vr), but I think that they’d be more better if I was never their friend. I mean, I’m technically their walking punching bag, but most of the time they never use me as such. I waste their time constantly. I’m always late to gatherings with some of them. I CONSTANTLY ruin role plays by using my stupid characters that no one should care about and planning out small events that everyone should hate. And I just can’t find good ways to comfort people, so I’m a terrible friend. Some call me very bad names or call me slurs, but I guess that’s just what friends do. And what does that make me? Selfish.

I really think that I’d be more better and more easier for everyone if I never even existed. My mom and my sister are tired of me constantly being sad all the time and me wanting to be alone. I’m selfish for wanting alone time anyway, I’m alone all the time. But it’s best if it says that way, because I’ll just ruin their fun days. I just don’t get why their so upset when I wanna just be alone with my friends. 

Even my sister said she was “sick of my shit” when I said I didn’t want to go to sleep, so I guess I’m also selfish for probably having insomnia (not trying to self diagnose). 

So Reddit, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
256,onesussybaka,AITA for not giving up my seat to a sleep deprived flight crew?,"15 hour flight from Sydney to LAX last week.

​

What I do is I always track seating charts every couple hours leading up to the flight itself. Now this was a pretty full flight, but I noticed that there were two rows in the very back that were completely empty, and I could upgrade my seat to either of those rows for $100.

​

So I figure what the heck. I'll have been awake for 30+ hours by the time we land at my final destination (not LAX). At least with a whole row to myself I can get a couple hours of rest in.

​

I pay the night before the $100 and sure enough - I'm the only one on the flight with an entire row to myself. There are a few empty seats elsewhere on the flight but they're all objectively worse seats than mine even when you ignore having the empty row (less leg room, and my row had a bunch of space for my personal items near the window).

​

Before take off, a flight attendant asks me if I am willing to move a few rows up because the flight crew today is apparently a relief crew, and they are running on very little sleep.

​

As annoying as that is, I am pretty amicable, and I can barely do an annual long-haul flight much less do one every day for my job.

​

So I agree, and then I ask if she knew whether or not I would be refunded the upgrade fee I paid for this seat.

​

She gave me a death stare and bluntly replied, ""no."" I tell her that while I am more than willing to move, I would need to be refunded the difference in ticket price. She replied with ""we do not do refunds for voluntary seat changes.""

​

It's pretty loud on the plane so I thought maybe she misheard me. I clarified that I am not asking her for a refund right this moment, just clarifying whether or not she knew if I would be able to get a refund for the ticket price difference, and that if she didn't it was ok since i knew that wasn't her job and I'd move anyway. 

​

Finally, she threw her hands up in the air and said ""I'm done with you, you're hopeless. Worrying about money on the holidays?"" and stormed off.

​

The rest of the flight I was getting death glares from most of the flight crew.

​

I felt bad because I got hella comfy, sprawled out, and had a dope time while I could tell they were pretty miserable.

​

But I am not sure if it was proper etiquette to just move without asking questions, and deal with the financial side of things later.

​

What really annoyed me was her comment at the end (I thought it was unnecessary) and what worried me was that she flat out said ""no"" to a refund, rather than ""I'm sorry, that's something you'd have to discuss with customer service"" or something to that effect.

​

However, remember that other empty row I mentioned earlier? Some guy booked a seat there as well, and when they asked him to move, he did so without hesitation.

​

So I'm wondering, AITA in this situation?",,1,1,1.0
257,BooksCatsIntrovert,WIBTA if I told my friend that she’s almost definitely not autistic?,"Okay, here’s the info. I’m drunk and a little high also so I’m going to be very honest. These are the facts: 
My close friend has said that she really believes she’s autistic. She’s black, I know that’s relevant because autism looks different in women of color. Okay. But a year or two ago she really believed she had ADHD. I have ADHD, and I was not so sure I was on the same page. Sure. You can’t see how others perceive the world, but when you have something yourself, you get a kind of radar. I am also physically disabled. That is relevant because before she went to go get a diagnosis, she shared that she’s so excited to go to Disney and skip the lines. I was like wait why? Because neurodiverse children are allowed to skip lines at Disney along with physically disabled folks at all ages. So it’s made for me, and it’s allowed for neurodivergent children who have a harder time waiting in lines. Totally valid. But we’re in our twenties, right? So I expressed that it made me a little frustrated that she wanted to use an accommodation meant for people like me, when she just doesn’t want to use lines. She said she was trying to find something positive about this diagnosis… that she didn’t yet have. And still doesn’t have because they didn’t diagnose her. This is classic, she has a symptom or two and cataphrosizes everything. Another example is when we had pizza in my car and the windows got a little foggy and she was freaking out because she thought people may think we’re having sex in the car and that’s why the windows are foggy. 

I just really don’t think she’s neurodivergent. Every time she says she relates about something it sounds like she is reading it straight from the internet! Like she’s never experienced the thing; just wants me to think that she has. I get sensory overload in loud spaces. She e wants to go into louder, more crowded spaces, and I don’t get it. 

Would I be the ahole? I just don’t think she is autistic.",,1,1,1.0
259,Individual-Unit-591,WIBTA? Should I be with her?,"I've known a girl for two years and we've been in a romantic relationship but we've never been an official couple because I lied to her that I have a girlfriend when I don't. I'm not sure if I like her, she's been kind of cold to me lately, I don't know if we should make our relationship official.",,1,1,1.0
261,NeosTheWise,AITA...I feel horrible for lying to my wife,"A bit of context:

Our firstborn son was born prematurely (week 23) this was on the 5th of December 2022 and he is still recovering and being cared for in the hospital with some ups and downs all the time.
We used to visit him daily (an hour drive to and from the hospital) but I asked my wife to reduce this visit to one every two days in order to not be in the way of the nurses and as a means to reduce the physical and emotional stress we face each day, she agreed reluctantly and I feel that I forced her into that by being the breadwinner and being the owner of the car....this is one of the questions but thats not really the main point... Am I the asshole in this case?

I never told my wife that his condition is still critical but every ounce of good news I would present as the biggest achievement of mankind while I would downplay any bad news...my wife would usually curse herself and blame herself for not being able to keep our son and say that she would be devastated and would not be able to get pregnant again if anything happens to him.... I'm scared for our son, I'm scared for my wife and I'm scared of what could happen... I used this fear as a reason and an excuse for my behaviour...

Have I been a bad father to our son?
Have I been a bad husband to my wife?
Have I been an asshole to the both of them?",,1,1,1.0
262,user456789001,AITA for kissing a man in front of someone who apparently liked me since high school?,"I (f 21) went to this New Years party. I’ve known the host (m20) of the party since high-school. He’s a promoter so he’ll always try and get me to come to his events. He has messaged my friends in attempt to get me to go out numerous times. (Normal promoter behaviour) occasionally he’d flirt with me and he’s told me he wants to take me out. I told him I’d be down but no plans were ever made and set in stone. (Just all talk)  

I get to this party and it just so happened that someone I went on a couple dates with earlier on in the year was there. He said called out my name and I acknowledged him. We’ll call him Ben. 

I spend a good amount of time with my friends and I even spent time looking for the host. The host disappeared and I went to talk to Ben, we were catching up and he bought me a couple shots of tequila and then he kissed me. I left a little bit after explaining I need to find my friends. 

I was with my friends for a bit but my feet were hurting so I took a seat. I ended up going to the bathroom and when I came back Ben was sitting where I had been. I asked him where his friends had gone and he told me he didn’t know. We end up making out. 

Minutes later I look up. Of course the host is there watching me. He was fuming. So I got up and went to talk to him. He told me that I embarrassed him, he’s liked me since high school and he’s curved so many girls for me. I apologized and asked him how was I suppose to know all these things if he’s not telling me? He stormed off. 

I left shortly after. I felt absolutely horrible so I sent him an apology. Explaining that Ben wasn’t a stranger, he kissed me and he hadn’t made his intentions clear. He told me that I really hurt him and he really likes me. He asked why would I do that at his event. I explained it wasn’t intentional he kissed me and I went with that in the moment. He’s still very upset and won’t speak with me, which in some aspect is understandable. 

I still feel really bad but I can’t continue to apologize. So this is where I’d like to know if I’m the asshole for doing what I did?",,1,1,1.0
263,PossibilityQuiet7157,AITA for getting too drunk at a NYE party and passing out in the guest room of my parent-in-law's house at around 9:30 and leaving my wife alone at midnight to pass NYE herself?,I get sleepy when I'm drunk. I had around 4 big glasses of wine and a glass of champagne after having arrived there at around 6:00. I was also really tired from staying up late the night before because I've had insomnia and weird sleeping pattern issues lately from some shift changes at work. My wife told me she tried to wake me up at around 11:45 but I was out like a light and wouldn't respond.,,1,1,1.0
265,tbhfamkysxD,AITA for keeping pictures of my friend in my phone?,"I (24M) went on a trip with a few of my boys and I met an online friend because she was in the area. While meeting her, I took 100 pictures of us (multiples of the same pictures to pick from, each which are unique pictures of 5 different touristy areas). After the trip, I made a birthday video using those pictures (5 pictures) and hand wrote her a 3 sentence birthday letter, which said:  
""I hope (the area she is in) stops raining, especially today, so that you can go outside and enjoy the sunshine. I know you're going through a lot right now, and I just want you to know that I believe in you. Ich wunsche dir zum 25 Geburtsatg alles Gute!"" (which is happy birthday in German).

2 months later, I meet this girl that I have a crush on. We spend all day with each other. She found out about the video that I made for my online friend, and is uncomfortable with the fact that I still have the 100 pictures of her on my phone. I explained to her that they were multiples, and she said that if they were multiples, I should delete remove all the excess pictures and just keep the original 5 good photos. I said that I'm too lazy and that I don't actually delete pictures on my phone (which I really don't). I just don't take the time to go through every one of my photos and hand-pick them to keep or delete. I just don't care that I have them or if I don't. When I told her this, she mentioned that I would have had to go through all 100 pictures when selecting pictures for the birthday video. 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
266,stonesaregreat,WIBTA if I told my bf’s mom that she’ll never see her grandkids?,"I (18F) am dating my boyfriend, D, (17M) for five months now. At first, his mom was super sweet for the first two months, it was nice because I’ve seen/read horror stories about MIL’s! Also, D does not have a phone. We live in a town where a lot of looneys live. 
It started around November when I told his mom we were going to his dads thanksgiving then my thanksgiving since his mom doesn’t really celebrate it. She got really nasty about it and talking about how much of a dead beat my boyfriends dad was. I was astounded since he was the nicest person I could ever meet. I got a bit angry but cooled off. After thanksgiving, it got hazy. She would go out of her way to keep us awake when I would stay the night, she’d clean, watch tv, listen to loud music, have friends over, etc etc. And for Christmas, she got upset because she had “lost her christmas spirit” for the simple reason of nobody got her a gift, D and I wanted to spend christmas at our families, since she doesn’t celebrate that holiday either. 
I was pretty annoyed with it, one day I **almost** snapped at her because D was sick and was coughing, she kept telling him to shut up and obviously, as a teenager, he told her to shut up, to which she replied “I hope you choke”. She always says stuff like this with no explanation behind it. These are only a few examples but the main reason I’m posting this is because I’d need to know if I’m overreacting. 
On new years, me, D, and his friend were celebrating and once it was 3am we went to bed, or tried to, her friends tried coming in yelling and I said, “We’re trying to sleep,” she quickly apologized and went outside. I heard J’s mom outside talking, calling me a whore and a bitch. I was getting mad at that point, but bit my tongue and tried sleeping it off. Nothing else happened until the next day(today), I went home at 2pm and 7 hours later I get a phone call from his friend asking where D was. I knew it was trouble because D never goes anywhere and his friends sound worried. I rush over to his neighborhood as fast as I can to look for him to get a call that he’s at a friends house. I learned from D that his mom threatened to shoot his dog and so, out of reaction, he threatened to shoot her dog. A fight spurred out and her boyfriend chimed in, D almost got into a fight with him. As I was going past his road, I saw 3-4 cop cars outside the house with lights on. I told D about it and his friends brother asked if I called them, after confirming that I did not, even looked at my call logs, he called bs on everyone who said so. 
D left and went to a friends house, and I picked him up and took him to his dads. I really want to ask her what it feels like to never see her future grandchildren, whether its with me or not. I also wanted to tell her I would never choose drugs or men over my child.
So reddit, WIBTA if I asked my boyfriends mom what it would be like not able to see her future grandchildren?",,1,1,1.0
267,Wrong-Signature9215,AITA for listening in on my friend's private call when she mentioned my name?,"I (28F) had an extra room in my apartment that I never really used, and a friend from Libera (25F) needed a place to stay because her family kicked her out with like 3 days notice for leaving their church. I told her to just come here because she was literally planning on living on the streets in the middle of North Dakota, and all of her friends turned her down. I ended up spending like half my savings getting her a next day flight to my place as well as getting her on my lease (landlord was not happy she brought 3 kittens).

To keep it short, I have been kind of helping her learn life skills and just to be a good roommate in general. If I ask her to do a chore, she gets really defensive and accuses me of controlling her (she has BPD) but then she calms down and does whatever I ask of her. (Doing her laundry, taking out the cat litter, etc. Just normal stuff.)

Today, I asked her how her job search was going (3 months in and apparently nobody is even getting back to her??) and she said, ""Seriously? Today is a holiday. Leave me alone about this crap."" I told her that she could probably get a few job posts out of the way since we have nothing else to do today, and she yelled at me that she actually applies for jobs, but that nobody wants to hire somebody who never had a job, and that I just wanted to start drama.

I left her alone because I had no idea what to say. And right after that, I stepped out for like 30 seconds to take out the trash. I guess she thought I actually left because I heard her in her room talking to her friends about me over the phone. She said I constantly yell at her about everything, use her as a therapist, lack empathy, etc. And it was just her leaving a lot of stuff out and lying to make me look bad. Her friends just kept telling her to leave as soon as possible because I ""probably have narcissistic personality disorder"" and would ""destroy her life."" And one of them offered to call the police if she ever felt she was in danger.

I knocked on her door and asked, ""Why are you talking about me like that?"" She said, ""What people say about you behind your back is none of your business."" I asked her if she just does that every time we argue, and she said nothing. I told her that this makes me feel super disrespected because I would never gossip about her or talk about anybody like that. And all she said was, ""Sorry, but we tell each other everything. Just quit telling me how to live my life."" I told her I was literally trying to help her since her family sheltered her and expected her to find a man in the church to marry her, and she went, ""So you see me as some useless baby now? Thanks.""

AITA? I genuinely feel disrespected, but I did listen in on her call.",,1,1,1.0
268,Honest-Ant5138,AITA for joining in on my daughter's singing and embarrassing my wife in front of family?,"I (36M) love my wife (39F). I think she just doesn't like to bring attention to herself and gets embarrassed easily. 

As many kids do, my daughter (11F) loves to sing. Whether it's in the car, shower, or anywhere else, she isn't afraid to belt out a tune, usually a bit off-key and often with some misheard lyrics. It's cute and hilarious, and obviously, I'm not going to tell her to stop.

My wife (41F), however, has told me in the past that she's ""concerned"" about our daughter's singing. She's worried that our daughter is going to get made fun of sooner or later and has asked me to ask her to stop with this behavior. I've argued that it's a harmless way for her to express herself and anyone who would make fun of her for it probably isn't worth our time. 

Now that you have a bit of context, over the holidays, we planned on attending a family gathering with a bunch of relatives. Before the event, my wife warned our daughter to try to be on her best behavior and ""not cause a scene"" in front of company. She did NOT mention anything specifically about singing.

Well, wouldn't you know it, we attend the gathering and my daughter starts singing along to one of the Christmas carols playing in the background. I'll be honest, it wasn't her best performance, and I did notice a few family members start to chuckle. My wife is mortified and looks like she wants to crawl under the rug. 

That's when I decide to join in. I start singing absurdly off-key and making up my own words. It's ridiculous, sure, but it's also funny, and it mitigates any potential embarrassment my daughter could have had. 

I got a lot of laughs, but my wife is obviously not amused.  She says that I ""completely embarrassed her in front of the family"", which is not what I intended -- I was just trying to make a funny situation out of a potentially embarrassing one. She isn't speaking to me now, and I'm wondering if I may have gone too far. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
270,tbhfamkysxD,AITA for keeping pictures of my friend in my phone?,"I (24M) went on a trip with a few of my boys and I met an online friend because she was in the area. While meeting her, I took 100 pictures of us (multiples of the same pictures to pick from, each which are unique pictures of 5 different touristy areas). After the trip, I made a birthday video using those pictures (5 pictures) and hand wrote her a 3 sentence birthday letter, which said:  
""I hope (the area she is in) stops raining, especially today, so that you can go outside and enjoy the sunshine. I know you're going through a lot right now, and I just want you to know that I believe in you. Ich wunsche dir zum 25 Geburtsatg alles Gute!"" (which is happy birthday in German).

2 months later, I meet this girl that I have a crush on. We spend all day with each other. She found out about the video that I made for my online friend, and is uncomfortable with the fact that I still have the 100 pictures of her on my phone. I explained to her that they were multiples, and she said that if they were multiples, I should delete remove all the excess pictures and just keep the original 5 good photos. I said that I'm too lazy and that I don't actually delete pictures on my phone (which I really don't). I just don't take the time to go through every one of my photos and hand-pick them to keep or delete. I just don't care that I have them or if I don't. When I told her this, she mentioned that I would have had to go through all 100 pictures when selecting pictures for the birthday video.  


AITA for having photos in my phone of my friend?",,1,1,1.0
272,stayP00R,"AITA am i worth less than my wife's dog, or am i crazy?","My wife and I met almost 17 years ago while we were homeless. We have been the closest of friends. In 2015 my now wife got a dog. Shortly after, I left the US and moved somewhere to Europe because I was never actually a US citizen. its now 9 years later and my friend actually left her whole life behind to  move in with me. We both have been through a lot of trauma. The dog is like her shadow. Nothing in this world prepared me for this extremely codependent relationship my wife has with her pet. I am extremely needy myself. I was expecting to be that special support person for my wife but that place is already taken in her heart by her dog. i know i sound crazy but i hope someone here takes me serious. I can't spend any special moments with my wife  (like a restaurant or a weekend away) because the dog can't come and she refuses to leave her dog with another person. This new year was our first time together celebrating in Europe as a married couple. The dog was terrified for days because of the fireworks and needed all day and all night attention (which is nothing new). I am child free and commited to that lifestyle. I wasn't aware that she treats her dog like a toddler. I asked my wife for 30 minutes of her time to watch the fireworks with me at the park down the street from us. She runs upstairs to leave her dog. My whole friendgroup waited forever for her to come back downstairs and we actually missed the ball dropping. By the time my wife comes back SHE STILL HAS THE DOG. She said the dog refused to stay inside and she was unable to close any doors without her escaping (she is a tiny chihuahua so that explanation was ridiculous to me.) AITA for asking my wife for alone time?  She said the dog was too scared to stay upstairs alone which is why she brought him to the park. It was SO loud, the dog would have been better of at home alone for 30 minutes) so we had to leave after a few minutes and my friends as well. I am so angry. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
274,tbhfamkysxD,AITA for keeping my pictures in my phone of my online friend?,"I (24M) went on a trip with a few of my boys and I met an online friend because she was in the area. While meeting her, I took 100 pictures of us (multiples of the same pictures to pick from, each which are unique pictures of 5 different touristy areas). After the trip, I made a birthday video using those pictures (5 pictures) and hand wrote her a 3 sentence birthday letter, which said:   
""I hope (the area she is in) stops raining, especially today, so that you can go outside and enjoy the sunshine. I know you're going through a lot right now, and I just want you to know that I believe in you. Ich wunsche dir zum 25 Geburtsatg alles Gute!"" (which is happy birthday in German). 

2 months later, I meet this girl that I have a crush on. We spend all day with each other. She found out about the video that I made for my online friend, and is uncomfortable with the fact that I still have the 100 pictures of her on my phone. I explained to her that they were multiples, and she said that if they were multiples, I should delete remove all the excess pictures and just keep the original 5 good photos. I said that I'm too lazy and that I don't actually delete pictures on my phone (which I really don't). I just don't take the time to go through every one of my photos and hand-pick them to keep or delete. I just don't care that I have them or if I don't. When I told her this, she mentioned that  I would have had to go through all 100 pictures when selecting pictures for the birthday video.   


Is she rightfully mad at me?",,1,1,1.0
276,ButterflyDestiny,AITA- I reacted harshly to my cousin’s ignorant comment,"Things got awkward tonight and I just want to know, AITA? I (F,24) have a bf (M,24) who is Muslim. My family is Christian, not heavily but just enough. Anyway, tonight my cousin who is visiting for a couple of days sends me a picture of a bar she wants to go to tomorrow with my partner and I. I said fine and scan the menu for my own food ideas. She says, “If he wants to go somewhere more Halal that’s fine too”. As I am saying, that’s no issue there is chicken, he’ll be fine, she asks my mom (F,50) if her partner (M,56ish) who is Hindu, is haram? I am correcting her and saying two different religions and my boyfriend is Muslim. Haram isn’t the religion. She makes some offhand comment like it didn’t matter. So I make it clear that my partner’s religion will be respected and if he made a wrong comment about Christianity she wouldn’t like it and I wouldn’t defend her as she wouldn’t like it. That got her and my mom to shut up and I ignored her for over an hour. My frustration and anger was clear and she looked shocked. Was I the asshole for being too harsh? My family has a history of being disrespectful and I won’t stand for a HINT of it when it comes to him, but my cousin is sensitive too and had a really bad day yesterday. Not to mention, my partner just took her and I out for dinner last night. I was irritated at the ignorance. But should I have been more patient and not quick to criticize?",,1,1,1.0
277,itsfxckingchia,AITA for taking one sibling to the cinema but not the other,"**Before i get into the story i wanna provide this fairly important bit of context, i am autistic and going ANYWHERE without my parents is extremely stressful especially the cinema, i am still ""learning"" to go places without them but this does also mean i need at least one sibling with me just to feel safe.**

**People involved:**

* **Me (17NB)**
* **Brother (13M)**
* **Sister (11F)**

In the UK the new matilda is in cinemas, i've been wanting to watch it for months and yesterday i finally had the money and the courage to go and watch it so i asked my brother if he wanted to come with me, i'd already taken him to the cinema on my own in 2021 so i felt confident that we'd be okay because admittedly i'm closer to him than i am my sister, he has more of an understanding when it comes to my autism and knows when to stop with his jokes and jabs at me so obviously going out with him is 10x easier and alot less stressful than if i brought my sister (i know she's young but theres only so many times you can be hit and called an autistic rat)

We didn't actually tell her we were going, she only found out when my dad told her he was quickly going out to drop my brother and i off at the cinema (we couldn't get there alone and there wasn't room in the car for her to come and drop us off too) she ended up complaining that it wasn't fair so i offered to put it on for her (on a TOTALLY legal website) when i got back, she said no to this because it's not the same and gave a few reasons as to why SHE should go instead, some of these being:

1. **he doesn't even like matilda (he actually really liked the new one)**
2. **i took him with me last time**
3. **it wouldn't be much more expensive to bring her too (tickets were £5.99 each)**

and i see where she's coming from but i'm also just trying to keep things less stressful for me especially right now when i'm still working on this stuff so... AITA?",,1,1,1.0
278,No_Pain_6470,"AITA for calling out my husband in front of our son, his mom, and sister?","My husband is hyper competitive and extremely type A. While a very good dad and husband (for the most part), his need to win and/or be “right” has been a point of contention in throughout our marriage. Well, tonight, we had his family over and we were playing a game of Mario Party. Normally he wins; however, tonight he was in 4th place - which to most adults would be a non-issue. Toward the end of the game, he had a battle mini-game with our 6 year old son where had to wager coins. The winner would take the amount of coins that was wagered. It was my husband’s option for the bet amount, and bet all of our son’s coins. Obviously our son lost as he is only a 6 year old. Our son started to cry because he had lost all of his coins. My husband then began berating him, telling him so suck it up and that he shouldn’t cry. I then chimed in and said that he was playing too cut-throat and that he was sucking the fun out of the game. He started becoming defensive stating he was teaching our son a lesson. Apparently earlier in the game our son put a poisoned mushroom on him as a joke, to which he stated that “if he comes after me, I’ll go after him.” I then turned to our very disappointed child and told him “yes, this is a lesson. Some people need to win at all costs and don’t care about your feelings.” My husband responded, “that’s right, I don’t care about your feelings, it’s part of the game.” I retorted, “yes, some people are hyper competitive, you just have to know that it’s about the win above the person.” My husband then became very upset with me stating that I debased him in front of our son and his family, and that I was teaching our son to be “soft.” He then proceeded to quit the game, stating that he’d never play a game with us again. I told our son not to worry about it and that “I would play with him and that it’s better to play with someone who doesn’t act like that.” His sister then also quit the game, (I suppose to stand with her brother, which also annoyed me to honest). His family has a tendency to enable my husband’s bad habits and are blindly loyal to him, which is an entirely different issue, but I thought I’d mention it as it relates to this specific situation. Anyway, our son was left to also quit the game as I didn’t know how to remove the players. The whole evening is now tense and I feel annoyed/frustrated. My husband is upset that I brought that up in front of not only our son but his mom and sister and was trying to argue in front of them. I remained calm but stood my ground that he was being a bully. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
279,No_Bag_3977,AITAH for not feeling secure about this relationship?,"So I M(19) and my gf F(18) have been dating for the past 4 years . In midst of it all ive lost my family . Two sisters and mom in a car crash and my elder sister to sui*cide because of the depression on losing my parents and siblings , im the only adult which exsists in my family and with the demise I've had the responsibilities of two infants who belonged to my sisters. I regularly get panic attacks and feel mentally drained but somehow im managing my work education and parenting all together. The problem arose , when i had doubts that my partner was cheating on me. This was because, once they openly expressed having a crush on someone through their live stream. obviously i wasn't cool with it. But what made matters worse was that , they openly started flirting , in front of me. to a point they started posting pictures of them kissing other people which made me want to break up. So when i approached , they said this was all a dare. and they still loved me . i tried to break up but i just couldn't get myself to because i knew that if they left id be completely alone and even now i feel the same.I could  not do this because i know i will not have anyone else if i lose them .Im already depressed and su*cidal and this makes it worse . I am aware of this unhealthy attachment. all the flirting lasted a while till they turned over a new leaf and eventually ended up being invested in the relationship. but now. the past traumas hurt me still and sonetimes i feel like shit and just wanna scream why they hurt me so much , that too in a year that i lost so much. what should i do? how can i sort this ???",,1,1,1.0
280,thr0w-me-away1,AITA for being annoyed at guests regularly staying 7+ hours,"So, few bits of info that may be relevant

\- this isn't limited to the holiday period, it is a semi-regular occurrence throughout the year

\- wife is east asian, in case there are cultural considerations to be made

Wife's friends will come over and literally spend the entire day here. To me, this is nuts. I have no issues with them coming over, but when they show up at 10am and don't leave till after 7pm I start to get annoyed. And these are people that live \~10-30 minutes away, they're not making a special trip. 

Often I get told they're ""coming over for coffee"", so I assume they'll stay 1-2 hours, but somehow 6+ hours later they're still here?? Obviously I don't say anything while they're here (I'm not that much of an asshole). 

Anyway, wife seems to think this is completely normal. I want to stress I in no way want to stop her seeing her friends or anything like that, but having people spend the entire day here gets a little exhausting. 

Anyway, what does reddit think? Is this normal? AITA?",,1,1,1.0
281,Calli0pe_,AITA for telling my husband to get off his video game?,"Ever since MW2 has come out all my husband has done is play it. He doesn't help out with the baby and gives me attitude if I tell him to stop playing. 

His father is in town visiting and he's been ignoring him the whole time and has been on this stupid game. I finally snapped at him today and told him I don't want him playing the video game 

He needed to wake up today so he could take his dad to meet someone to buy a truck (he is driving back instead of flying) but he wouldn't get up, so I had to take our daughter with me to meet a stranger because he wouldn't get up to go with his dad. 


I blew up on him via text, telling him I was sick of this, and I was tired of him putting a video game over his family. He told me I was an asshole for trying to limit his video game time because he's depressed

I'm tired of feeling like a single mom to a video game. Am I the asshole for telling him I don't want him playing it anymore? 

Not that it matters because he's still playing it now at 2:18 in the morning",,1,1,1.0
282,tbhfamkysxD,AITA - Should my crush be mad at me?,"I (24M) went on a trip with a few of my boys and I met an online friend because she was in the area. While meeting her, I took 100 pictures of us (multiples of the same pictures to pick from, each which are unique pictures of 5 different touristy areas). After the trip, I made a birthday video using those pictures (5 pictures) and hand wrote her a 3 sentence birthday letter, which said:   
""I hope (the area she is in) stops raining, especially today, so that you can go outside and enjoy the sunshine. I know you're going through a lot right now, and I just want you to know that I believe in you. Ich wunsche dir zum 25 Geburtsatg alles Gute!"" (which is happy birthday in German). 

2 months later, I meet this girl that I have a crush on. We spend all day with each other. She found out about the video that I made for my online friend, and is uncomfortable with the fact that I still have the 100 pictures of her on my phone. I explained to her that they were multiples, and she said that if they were multiples, I should delete remove all the excess pictures and just keep the original 5 good photos. I said that I'm too lazy and that I don't actually delete pictures on my phone (which I really don't). I just don't take the time to go through every one of my photos and hand-pick them to keep or delete. I just don't care that I have them or if I don't. When I told her this, she mentioned that  I would have had to go through all 100 pictures when selecting pictures for the birthday video.   


Is she rightfully mad at me?",,1,1,1.0
283,ReadyWeek4241,AITA for not giving my grandson a job?,"I always wished my sons, would like to follow my footsteps. I own a small business that pays really well and I wanted them to work for me and learn how to manage it so they can have it after me but neither of them was interested which is alright. I understand that they have their own dreams

My granddaughter who turned 16, 9 months ago was looking for a part time job. She asked me if she can work for me and learn from me. She has been doing a really good job and is planning to work with me full time after highschool. I'm of course very glad that one of my kids is finally showing interest in my job and since she is my granddaughter I pay her more than I would pay an stranger, also she gets to set her own schedule so basically I'm more flexible with her

My sons and their families were all at my home a few days ago. We were all talking and the conversation went toward jobs. my son asked my granddaughter about her job and was pissed when he found out the payment and schedule. He said his son(17M) has a job that is harder than hers and pays less. He accused me of favoring my grandaughter and asked me to give my grandson a job. I told him that my grandson had the option to take this job but didn't he said they didn't know the conditions of this job. I told him there is no opening anymore and I don't want the business to be split between multiple people, granddaughter is going to get the business, everyone else had the chance but decided not to use it. He called me an asshole and said it's not fair to give her everything and not giving my grandson anything.",,1,1,1.0
286,Connect-Ad-9522,WIBTA if i end this friendship?,"Hi, I’m still trying to figure out what to do with my current friendship. In this post, there will be five people: me (A-21f), my partner (C-22m), a nice friend (K-26NB) and man child (E-22m).

To summarise, K and E were kicked out of E’s house because his mother was a toxic person. She kicked them out over an argument, but luckily K had already applied for an apartment, and K and E are both working, so they can afford the apartment.

The main problem started in October when E sprained his ankle and had to undergo physical training to fix it. He has missed three appointments because of oversleeping and just outright forgetting, and I know it, which probably don’t sound like much or that annoying. Still, he mentioned that he also missed some of their calls, so yeah…honestly speaking, it doesn’t even feel like he wants to get better. He must go to his appointments on time to fix said ankle. 

It feels like I and K are his parents, for god's sake; also, we have a discord server, and one time, K was at work, and he messaging E in the server  “E, did you take the bins out?”, no response “did you take the bins out E?”, no response, I then spammed him until he responded saying that “yes they were done” AN HOUR AFTER K TOLD HIM TO DO IT. Okay, I can’t fault him for that; people get busy, and things happen, but if he kept postponing it, bugs would’ve come.

Also, whenever I and E texted, he would tell me bout his and K’s arguments and how it constantly keeps happening, and he doesn’t know what causes them. Whenever this happens, he says that I’m better off dead, no one likes me, and I want to sleep forever….and every time, I have to repeatedly text him saying that he’s loved, that his friends will always be with him and try to make him feel better, but I just feel so tired after it.

On the day of my grandmother's funeral- I wrote in my bio that I would not be answering any messages, but I opened my phone and saw ten messages from K and E. K was meant to go to Texas for two weeks to visit his partner and E booked the tickets. In his defence, he didn't know it was a scam, and the price was a bit cheaper, but he could’ve at least researched the place to see if it was a scam.

I was on a video call with C, and we got onto the topic of E and K and how K will probably move to Minnesota to live with his partner because of the constant arguments with E.  And C said that E was at a point in his life where he wanted to give up and spend all day playing video games and sleeping and that he had no desire to fix his ankle.

And since he’s unemployed, I suggested he try babysitting, tutoring, newspaper delivery- whatever since K is paying for the apartment and they have to ration their spending since it’s mainly on rent and food.

If I leave and cut this friendship off, E’s going to say that I’m abandoning him and that no one likes him etc., but if I stay friends with him I feel like I’ll be drained constantly. Am I the asshole here?",,1,1,1.0
288,Hazelnut-Soup,WIBTA If I filed a noise complaint a day after moving in?,"I just recently have moved my first apartment on second floor in a nicer place than I prior lived. When I signed the lease the quiet hours were outlined heavily, 10PM-7AM quiet hours. Well tonight is my official first night in the apartment and to say it’s frustrating would be an understatement.

I was able to ignore all the noise during normal hours since I knew I had no grounds to complain. But when I decided to finally go to bed around 11:30 it became very apparent that the prior below me where insanely loud. I can’t tell if they are actual children or what, but they’ve been nonstop screaming, blasting music so loud the floor is vibrating and also throwing things about. Even as I’m righting this they’re screaming and banging on likely one of the bedroom doors. 

I don’t know what to do. My friend told me to go downstairs and knock but with how they’re speaking and how aggressive they sound to each other down there I’m afraid too. I feel like calling the cops is overkill and I don’t know when that is appropriate to do when it comes to this. 

WIBTA to message the landlord tomorrow about this or even call the cops over it…?",,1,1,1.0
290,Ceddy_Ced,WIBTA if I took back the car I gifted my sister?,"I (28M) work out of town half of the time, but do what I can to look after my (26F) sister. She just graduated from college and is in between jobs right now until she starts her career. To get to work, she had been taking the bus because she had never learned to drive. We also live in a fairly dangerous city so I decided to take her out on weekends and teach her to drive in my car. 

This process took longer than typical, about three months, due to prior trauma. Her anxiety kicks into high gear when behind the wheel, likely because she hit our mom with our mom's car and knocked her down when learning to drive with her! I stayed patient though, and pushed her at the same time. She ended up getting her license just before her birthday! 

So the great part about traveling for work is that they provide me with a company vehicle. That being said, I thought, ""What a great opportunity to gift my sister with her first car on her birthday!"" I really thought everything out, got all the paperwork in line, wrote her detailed instructions on the importance of and how to handle registration, maintenance, and insurance needs (which I covered). I even got the car detailed before handing it over to her. She was totally shocked and grateful, it was a nice birthday. 

Well that was 15 months ago. Long story short, a few months went by and she never registered the car in her name. I asked her what was the hold up and she told me she completely lost the title, Bill of sale, the instructions I wrote, everything. Ok stuff happens, she should've spoke up sooner, but no biggie. I tell her to let the DMV know the situation, figure out what we need to do, and I'll do what I can to get the paperwork back. To this day there's been no progress, on top of that the insurance cancelled her because she was not technically the owner of the car. 

At this point I'm stuck in between taking the car away because she clearly can't handle the basic responsibilities involved in owning one. Or two, just letting her find out the hard way (ei getting pulled over) why it's so important to have you're stuff together. My mom, grandma, and I have all tried to assist her, but she's so stressed about it (and probably life in general) she's pretty much ghosting all three of us. That's definitely upsetting, considering what we've all done for her, but I don't want to base my decision solely on that

So WIBTA if I take it back?",,1,1,1.0
291,Bennevada,AITA for suggesting to start eating instead of waiting for our perennially late arriving cousin?," 

Background : We sometimes get  together in one of our cousin's or aunt's home every now and then  comprised of a bunch of people in their 20s ,30s etc. We are from India  


We  have this cousin who had a habit of arriving late even before she got  married. Marriage and then a childbirth only gave her excuses and leeway  why she arrives late all the time..Not just an hr late but in some  cases even 4 hrs late.

Context  : We had a new year party in one of my cousin;s home. Completely  kosher,no alcohol. We had ordered few items,prepared a few and some the  guests brought like a hybrid potluck. So the guests started coming at  7am and within 8:30 all of them except this problem child arrived.

We  waited and finally called, she said she is almost done. Will arrive in  10 min. 8:30 became 9 , 9 became 9:15pm. The kids were restless and the  moms were feeding them chips and juices as they didnt open the orderd  items to maintain the heat. Everyone were blaming her.

I  said we should rather start eating instead of waiting. But some of my  cousins gave a dirty look,they said its not proper to start without her.  I said she always arrives late, why should we keep starved for her. But  they just dismissed my opinion.

Update  :She arrived at 9:30 ,immediately went to the fill the plate to make  her 3 yr old son eat. Both the couple ate by 10:30 and then said they  have to go to another party and left.

But i was the asshole for suggesting to eat early.",,1,1,1.0
294,Essex_Bitch,WIBTA if I was honest with daughter about her weight.,"My daughter, 22F currently lives with her girlfriend away from home.  She attends university and She also has a part time job.  She is diagnosed autism and we suspect ADHD.  She has also recently been diagnosed with PCOS. 
I’m very aware of her struggles and I’ve recently paid for private health insurance so she can get help with her mental health. 

Since leaving home she has gone from a UK size 14 to a UK size 20.  Being blunt she has gotten really big.  Part of this is the PCOS and part is her struggles with her mental health.  Food for her is a comfort.  In order to get her happy fix she believes sugar is essential and that by not eating her favourite foods she is denying herself. If she does something good she must have a reward. I admit May be responsible for this frame of mind as someone who also used to comfort eat. 

I’m trying to approach this gently.  I’ve told her she needs to cut out sugar.  We have a family history of diabetes, type 1 & 2.  She is very much at risk. I was diagnosed this year and after years ago f struggle with my weight lost 2 stone and feel so much better.  Thing is she won’t listen.  She says she’s making good choices and going to the gym but I know this is not happening.  She feels it’s wrong of me to expect her to not have 3 sugars in her tea with two chocolate bars cause that’s not how her brain works and she’ll be denying herself what makes her happy.  

I get so frustrated and I want to just scream at her that she is doing herself so much harm. I want to be able to stop trying to preserve her feelings and just say you are overweight, very unhealthy and you need to take responsibility. I’m currently lying in bed not able to sleep because she is coming home today and I know when I see her I’m just going to see the weight gain.  

Should I just let her be  and wait until she can work it out for herself and do something about it and accept this is her. Or do I just sit her down and say if you don’t do something I’m not paying for your health insurance.  I’m so scared for her that I’m willing for her to hate me to do something.  

Side note get GF has also gotten bigger.  She has dissociative personality disorder. My daughter supports her but her GF because of her own issues kinda enables her.  My other plan is to talk to her but it depends on which alter I get to how successful this will be.  

I’m so desperate for opinions and will accept all judgement.",,1,1,1.0
296,impoopig,AITA bc I didn't back a bigot backer,"I'll admit that this spiraled out of control, but am I in the wrong here? Backstory is I was running with a coworker and  her group and there was this awful inhuman I was being exposed to all the time. Desperate for human connection I stuck around to keep with my coworker and tolerated her friend who was a leaning on my figure butter face who thought she was funny bc she talked about waxing her AH and liked to call to attention others humiliations for a laugh. On a beautiful summer day on the outdoor patio of a restaurant she turned her attention to a local immigrant community and reported that they smelled like dogs. I told my coworker I couldn't tolerate the bullying and bigotry further and she cut me off too less or less. The coworker picked the bigots side and quietly quit our relationship. Devastated I reached out more and more negatively wanting the attention I felt I deserved over the bigot. Coworker/mutual bridesmaid, finally blocked me after I said her bestie who is a million IVFs in shouldn't have a child because she is a bigot supporter, I told her bigot said smells like dogs and she said I don't think she's a bigot and continues to worship the bigot to this day.
TLDR told my bridesmaid her friends a bigot and that her other ""best"" friend shouldn't reproduce because she's a bigot lover.",,1,1,1.0
298,wontonsurf,AITA for being ungrateful towards my parent's food?,"I'm a college student and when I come home my parents like to send me food back. Which I recently started to disagree with and we had a huge fight. 

The thing is, when I go back to college they cook 5-6 different meals and none of these meals is something I like or can eat. I have anemia and other conditions which were caused by me being overweight my whole childhood. They would feed me even when I was crying, feeling sick and saying I can't eat anymore. Ever since I turned eighteen and began going to college I cooked healthy food for myself, i started to work out and i'm finally out of danger for getting diabetes like my father, he also has high cholesterol, liver issues and both of them are very overweight. (300 + ibs). 

So today they told me they will make very little food for me because normally I can't eat everything they send me. Firstly because it's greasy/I don't like it, or even when I force myself to eat it I can't eat that much food before it goes bad. So this morning they had prepared two huge bags of food and I said I can't carry them back. I asked my roommate to get me heathier food, also I literally can't carry that many things, I had two big travelling bags, a backpack and there is no space for two additional bags with 8 boxes of food. Also, I feel bad, I don't want to waste food. When I told them I can't take the food they blew up at me because i'm ungrateful and screamed at me for so long. I felt confused because the food they gave me makes me feel sick (it's a traditional meal which my mom makes so oily I had to hide and throw up as a child after eating), it's very cold and I can't reheat it at my dorm, neither do I have a refrigerator to prevent it from going bad. They made me nine or ten sandwiches for breakfast and screamed at me when I ate only two. They are still very mad at me and i'm starting to feel extremely guilty. 


AITA?",,1,1,1.0
300,Unable_Bus_232,AITA for not making it to my sister's rehearsal?,"My sister and I always had a close relationship growing up (I was more like a parent than an older brother) due to unfortunate family circumstances.

As I'm 8 years older than her our relationship shifted as we became adults. I'm now married with three children and she recently got engaged and is beginning to think about her own family.

From the beginning of her relationship my wife and I were always supportive, often the only ones. We saw how happy she was in her relationship and that made us happy.

I incorrectly assumed we would be a part of her bridal party. She was one of my wife's bridesmaids when we got married 8 years ago (even though she was still in high school at the time). Unfortunately we found out when the wedding website came out that were were not in the bridal party. I was hurt but didn't say anything because the day is not about me.

A few months later I got a call from my sister saying she feels our relationship has changed and that I don't make enough effort to make her feel a part of my family. I tried explaining to her that we are both adults, we are both capable of calling each other and the reality is I live in Chicago and she lives in Orlando, ultimately we aren't going to have the same relationship dynamic we once did. I ultimately brought up us not being asked to be in her wedding as a sign that it has shifted on both ends. She then gave us what I feel is a very random and made up role where we get to stand with the bridal party after our kids walk down the aisle (they will be the flower girl and ring bearers). We graciously accepted and told her we just want to be there and see her have a wonderful wedding in any capacity she would like us to be.

Now, she's getting married on a Thursday. When we began planning and booking our trip down to Orlando we were not in the wedding. Financially and logistically it's not feasible for us to fly with our three kids so we are driving. We planned to leave Tuesday early morning, stop halfway and complete the rest of the 18 hour drive on Wednesday, ultimately getting us into Orlando on Wednesday evening. After being added to the bridal party we were told the rehearsal is on Wednesday at noon. After alot of attempted reconfiguration of plans it became obvious we weren't going to make it there in time for the rehearsal. I called her and explained and she told me she understood. 

Now two months later, I get a call tonight telling me that I need to remember I'm coming for her wedding not a vacation (we plan to stay the week after the wedding and take the kids to Disney). She told me I should change the structure of our trip so we get there earlier and go home earlier. I tried explaining that it's not as simple as snapping my fingers and making that happen. That accommodations and tickets etc were booked back when we weren't in the wedding. Needless to say, we don't see it the same way. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
304,Doombark,AITA for not allowing old dog on our bed?,"My girlfriend (31f) and I (33m) have been together for just over three years, and recently we’ve had her old family dog come live out what could be his final months in our house. He’s a fourteen year old springer spaniel and my girlfriend spent many years with him since he was a pup when she was living with her parents and loves him very much. 

Being quite old now he needs extra care and my girlfriend offered her parents for him to be taken care of by us in our home, because she wants to spend as much time as possible with him and because her parents have another younger dog and so it’s getting a bit more difficult for them.

My girlfriend discussed it with me first and I agreed. However, I have OCD and so I was anticipating that causing some problems having a dog in the house, especially one that is incontinent because of old age, so it was rather daunting.

We’ve had the dog with us a couple of days now, and though my ocd has made things rather difficult and uncomfortable I’ve not let that get in the way of things. I have requested not letting the dog on one of the chairs so that I’m able to sit on it without my brain doing it’s thing, and the dog (I’m gonna call the dog kitty because calling him “the dog” feels impersonal) and kitty and my girlfriend cuddle on the couch. 

There’s been very frequent accidents of the urinal and fecal variety, and it has made my ocd go into overdrive and I’m constantly stressing about it. One of the other requests I made was that kitty sleeps on a dog bed instead of our bed, mainly because of the urine/poop problem. Girlfriend agreed to that. However last night kitty was restless and would keep getting up and looking at us  presumably because he wanted to come onto our bed.

My girlfriend understanably wanted kitty up with us, but I let my ocd get the better of me and said I really wouldn’t be able to handle kitty being in our bed. She suggested I could sleep on the sofa just for the night and that the sheets could be cleaned after, but I told her I still wouldn’t be comfortable knowing kitty was on our bed and the dog pee could seep into the mattress and be hard to get out. Possibly a lot of my worries were me being irrational. Anyway my girlfriend got a bit frustrated and exasperated and slept on the sofa with kitty, and I felt quite bad and ashamed. 

In the morning my girlfriend said she couldn’t believe I wouldn’t let kitty in bed with us, that kitty’s old and just wanted some comfort. I told her I get that but kitty does pee and poo frequently and it’s not necessary to have the hassle of dealing with any damage the pee does to the mattress, and having to clean the sheets. And also admittedly the hassle my ocd causes me.

My girlfriend seems put out with me, and thinks I really could’ve made an exception considering the circumstances.

Aita here?",,1,1,1.0
307,IminlovewithMarvel,AITA for giving gifts to my family,"I apologize in advance for my spelling. English Isn’t my first language

First a little context. 

I am a 36 years woman. When I was in my second year of college, I became pregnant with my daughter, who is currently 16 years old. It was one of my worst moments, as I was fired from my job unfairly, and had to drop out college. I had several jobs over the years, but never managed to stay more than 2 years. I wasn't a troublemaker or anything, I was just unlucky. Since I did not have a stable job, my economy was a disaster. I even had to apply for welfare and public housing, so my daughter could have a roof over her head and food to eat. During that time I struggled a lot, to be able to go back to college, study and give my daughter a better future. I was tired of my family pointing at me as ""a bad example"" or saying things like, ""Oh so smart and look how you screwed up your life”. I finally made it, I was able to go back to college and complete my bachelor's degree in 2020. Unfortunately, my certification exam was cancelled, for obvious reasons, and I was not able to start working until 2021. But, I MADE IT!

Now to the facts.

I have been in my job for 18 months, and for Christmas I got a performance bonus. I decided to save 60% (for my future house) and use the rest for Christmas expenses. I always shop at discount, and this allowed me to have a good amount of money left over, after buying presents for all the kids. I decided that, this year, I wanted to have a little something for the adults in the family. I had never been able to give them anything, because I have always lived on a very limited budget. I gave my aunts some loungefly purses with their favorite Characters, and to my uncles T-shirts with special messages. I spent a month looking for each gift, because I wanted it to be special for each of them. 

On Christmas day, almost all of them were happy with their gifts, except one of my aunts, who despised it because it was not an expensive brand (I just gave her for a crazy person and I kept her wallet). Frankly I thought everything was fine. I was wrong. 

Today I got a call from my mother, who told me that all my aunts and uncles were upset with me, and that my gift had made them feel uncomfortable. They even told her that, they had not been able to enjoy the party because of me, that it would have been better if I had not given them anything. I replied, that wasn’t my intention, that I just wanted to have a detail with them, and I didn’t expect anything in return. She only answered that I should understand them, because they were like that. Now I feel horrible about all this, and I can't stop crying as I write this. Did I really do wrong?",,1,1,1.0
308,RedditAccount8406,AITA for getting confused at my daughter wanting to be a boy?,"All throughout her childhood she showed no signs of wanting to be a boy. She liked watching princess movies, playing dress up, and other typical activities for young girls. She even complained how annoying boys were in her school when she was younger. She shifted to a more tomboyish look when she began wearing more boy like clothing at the start of her entering high school. I thought this was fine, as she was a teenager exploring herself. I thought nothing of it at the time and when she cut her hair I thought it looked great too, and that she was just trying new things out. She never really discussed too much with me regarding more personal matters such as this so I often had to rely on my wife for help regarding my daughter's feelings on certain subjects. One day a few months ago, my wife came to tell me that our daughter confessed that she was confused about her gender and that she told my wife about the idea of being a boy. When I first heard this I really didn't know how to feel, nothing in the past really indicated such a change and I am just confused on why.  After I learned about this I tried to proceed with normal day to day functions. Everything was pretty much the same for a few months after but recently I decided to confront my daughter about what my wife told me as it has been on my mind ever since. I explained how my wife told me about her current feelings regarding gender. I told her that I would always love her, but that the idea of calling her my son or a boy would be confusing and strange to me. I just did not see where this was coming from and why she choose to start thinking this way. Ive never really gotten the whole pronoun and gender thing that is more common nowadays so this is definitely not in my wheelhouse. After I finished saying what I has on my mind, I asked her if she has any thoughts. She stated that she just didn't know and walked away to go to bed early. My wife confronted me a day later about what happened and that our daughter was not taking our previous conversation very well. Its been a few weeks. and everything is pretty normal again but I cant get it out of my mind. I wanted advice from other people about what is happening, and I remembered one of my buddies using this for a problem happening in his life a while ago. I don't know if this is the type of stuff posted here but figured I would give it a shot so id love to hear other opinions.",,1,1,1.0
309,pilot357,AITA for inviting my family to my apartment after a party?,"My wife (29F) and I (29M) are throwing a first birthday party for our son in a few months. Since it’s his first birthday, we’re making it a fairly large event by inviting all of our family, most of whom live out of town. My wife’s family lives about a 5 hour drive away, and her sister lives in the same city as us. My family lives on the other side of the country, so they will be flying in.

My mom and dad will be staying with us that weekend, while the rest of my family will likely get a hotel (our place isn’t very big). Her family will likely stay with her sister or one of their family friends in the area.

Here’s the conflict…after the party (which is in the early afternoon), I don’t mind my sister and aunt coming over to our place since they would have to go back to a hotel, and they don’t have anyone else to hang out with in the area besides us and my parents. My wife doesn’t want anyone over for a couple hours after the party so that we can rest and have the baby nap easily. She also feels that if we invite a couple of my family members over, we will have to invite a lot more people including her family. She’s fine if people come over a couple hours later.

I’m ok with having all of them (including her family) over after the party and spending the rest of the day with them. I feel that it’s just one day of inconvenience but worth it to spend more time together. I also would feel bad telling my aunt and sister to go back to their hotel since they will want to hang out with us after flying all the way out here.

Ultimately, I feel like she isn’t being flexible or gracious, and she feels like I’m not prioritizing her need to rest and have space. We got into a fight about this and there’s still tension.

So AITA?",,1,1,1.0
310,yahders,AITA for bringing donuts home for my wife?,"Today I ran some errands and decided to pick up donuts. I ordered 6 donuts (all different flavors). I got home and ate 3 and saved 3 for my wife. When she saw the remaining 3 she was upset. Her complaint was that instead of eating 3 and giving her 3 I should have eaten half of all 6 of them so she could try all the flavors. (Side note: these are somewhat artisan donuts called mochi donuts and do have lots of different flavors and I got 6 different flavors so there is some merit to wanting to try them all).

AITA for eating 3 and giving her 3 instead of giving her the option to try all the different flavors? I understand her preference to split them this way and will do it next time but was I “rude” to split them this way? She says it was not polite.",,1,1,1.0
311,Bad_numbers_,AITA for not cleaning my sister’s room and not eating breakfast?,"I (17f) do the housework, my parents work and as the eldest they put that responsibility onto me, which I don‘t mind. However, I went camping with my friends for a week these holidays (I paid for myself) so I wasn’t home to cook and clean. 

When I got back the house was a mess, there were takeout containers everywhere and my brother (7m) was having a nerf gun fight with my sister (11f). I was livid, I cleaned up the house but refused to clean up anyone’s room, it’s their space, they can do it.

My brother had no problem but my sister threw a fit, she said that it was my job and she already did enough. My parent’s ordered me to do it because they own the house and my sister was yelling. I told them that I would rather die and that they need to pick up the slack on parenting, I am not their mother nor a housekeeper. They’ve barely been around and I can only pick up the slack so much before my grades start slipping (though it’s the holidays, if they expect me to do it now they’ll expect me to do it then), I need an ATAR of 97+ at least to get into the uni I want to go to and I can’t afford my grades slipping in my final year. 

My Dad is still mad but I think that my Mother got the memo, the next morning (Saturday) she got up and made breakfast, I was already awake at the time but I was out for a run and quick workout.

I never eat a heavy breakfast in the morning, it makes me feel queasy and I just don’t want to deal with that. My mother came in and shortly told me that breakfast was on the table, I said that I wouldn‘t be eating.

I usually wake up before everyone to exercise and make breakfast so nobody knows that I don’t eat. My mother looked slightly mad so I explained why and said that I could pack it to eat during my break at work and eat a bite now to tell her how it tastes. 

She yelled at me, saying that she worked hard on the meal and that I should be more grateful that she’s finally trying to make an effort now. She hasn’t made an effort ever since I turned 10 and my brother was born, and now she’s calling me ungrateful? I was about to miss my bus for work and I didn‘t want to deal with it so I walked out, it’s better to not engage with her when she’s angry. I messaged her saying that the food was delicious during break but I got no response. I do understand that she worked hard on the meal but that won’t solve my nausea.

I’ve been getting messages saying that I’m a spoiled brat all day and my mother won’t talk to me, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
312,itsnika_x,AITA for wanting my boyfriends mom to get a hotel?,"My [25F] boyfriends [23M] mom [60F] and her boyfriend [60M] stayed with us over the Holidays. My boyfriend told me they would be staying with us for a couple of nights before going to stay at her friends place or getting a hotel. 

They arrived on December 26th at 12:30am. I could tell right away that she was pretty drunk. The four of us sat in the living room and she continued to drink wine while we chatted and she opened the gifts I had got her. She didn’t ask me anything about myself, which I found odd as this was our first time meeting. Because her boyfriend doesn’t speak English, they spent a majority of the time talking in French. I felt uncomfortable not being a part of the conversation, but also because she was clearly very drunk by now and I am recently sober. She made a joke about giving her boyfriend a blowjob and having sex in our bed. They finally went to sleep in our bed around 3am.

I woke up at 8am to her asking if I could make her coffee before her and her boyfriend went out for the day. 
That night we all made dinner together and her boyfriend and my boyfriend went for a walk, during which she invited me to the couch to talk. She was drunk again and kept saying how bad the dinner she made was, repeating herself at least 10-15 times. She then kept asking me to “calm down around her”. I asked what she meant, she wouldn’t tell me. 
Finally I said that I was feeling sad as this is my first Christmas without my Dad and my first Christmas sober and I was struggling with both. She only replied “we’re your family now.”

On night 4 of sleeping on my couch with my boyfriend, he said that his mother had no recollection of plans to stay elsewhere, so they would be staying the last two nights of their trip with us. I immediately said no and asked him if he would help find them a hotel. He was aware of my discomfort and agreed completely. 
He phoned her because it was already 5pm and they were still out. She screamed at him and told him to make sure we weren’t at the apartment when they came to get their stuff and that they were leaving on the next flight home. Ten minutes later they show up at my apartment, she points at me and says “I never want to talk to you again” amongst other things directed at my boyfriend. An hour later she texts me saying “this is my last text to you. I will never talk to you again”.
I know she was drunk again because she told my boyfriend she was going Christmas shopping for us, but instead went to the casino.

I felt petty asking them to get a hotel for two nights, but I’ve never felt so disrespected in my life. They were using our place as a hotel - leaving before we wake up for the whole day. They made 0 plans with us, didn’t bring any gifts, barely talked to me.
I spent $300 on her gifts, all of which she left half used, except for the cashmere gloves and hat I got her.  

She is a retired teacher, I believe she is well respected in her community, “normal”. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
314,wut_boundaries,AITA for getting annoyed at new friend for cleaning and rearranging my room without asking?,"I let this new friend stay at my house for a few days. As a “thank you” she took the liberty of cleaning (which included going through all my drawers, shelves, belongings, etc in every nook and cranny of ) my room and kitchen and bathroom. She didn’t ask my permission, and I thought it was pretty invasive and got annoyed, and I said that while I appreciate the cleaning it felt kinda sus, and that I wish she had asked me if it was okay, and that I didn’t think it needed to be mentioned as it’s common sense to do so… A friend of mine is siding with her saying that since we’re not 12 years old she shouldn’t have needed permission because her intentions were (apparently) good… I don’t agree at all… AITA for thinking this kind of behavior isn’t cool?",,1,1,1.0
316,stolenbikess,AITA for wanting to put my name on a book I wrote?,"TLDR is at the end 

I’ve been writing since I can remember, and I’ve been published a couple of times. 

My best friend and I (both 24) have been friends for 20 years, and she has always supported me, so when she said she had an idea for a book, I was so excited for her!

She then asked me to write it. I was reluctant, but she told me I could write it all - she just had the basic idea, and I could do whatever I wanted with the story. So I agreed, and I finished it a few months ago. 

Here’s where the problem starts. I make most of my income from art commissions, and I’ve designed quite a lot of book covers, so I thought I’d design our cover. She told me to do whatever I thought was best as she “has the art skills of a dead rabbit.” I did a rough sketch, and sent her a photo of it, but that’s when her attitude changed. I had my name, and her name underneath that. Both are the exact same; there are absolutely no differences in terms of size or font. But she didn’t think her name should be below mine… Or next to mine, or even on top of mine. She didn’t want my name on the cover at all. When I told her that I wrote the entire thing so my name should be on the cover, she started yelling down the phone, saying I wouldn’t have a book to write without her idea, which is true! So I tried compromising by saying that my name can go below hers and be written in a smaller size, but she refused.

Now here’s where I might be an asshole. I told her I wasn’t giving her the book. In the beginning, I asked if she wanted me to send her new paragraphs and/or chapters, but she said she just wanted to wait and read it when it’s finished, which means she doesn’t have a copy. It was her idea, so I’m not going to try and publish the book, but I said she can’t have it. Honestly I felt a little bit like a toddler saying it, and it is such a ridiculous argument to be having, but there was zero mention in the beginning of me ghostwriting. I probably should have clarified that with her, but I never thought to.

We haven’t spoken in a week now, which has been her choice, not mine.

I don’t really think I’m in the wrong, but honestly a part of me is worried I am. 

So, AITA? 

TLDR: Best friend of 20 years asked me to write a book based on her idea. After it was finished, she tells me she doesn’t want my name on the cover at all, even though I wrote it all, so I refused to give her a copy of the book, and now we’re not talking.",,1,1,1.0
320,rosadirosi,AITA for not being rude to my cousin for not giving me a photo?,"
So basically my 9th cousin has a lot of photos of my family and this one photo has my great great grandparents and all their children in a family photo. His grandmother was friends with the family back then and that’s the only reason he has the photo and when I told him that if he’s ever thinking about giving it away in the future to consider giving it to me he told me he doesn’t plan on giving it away at all. For some reason that got me really upset cause he thinks just cause it was his grandmother’s he shouldn’t give some of the actual photos to the actual family. There will be a time when he passes away and someone will get that photo and I don’t get how anyone like his kids will ever appreciate the photo other than the actual descendants of the family so I just completely stoped talking to him and I’m just so upset about it. 

He scanned it and sent it to me but it’s not the same as getting the original and the little imperfections of the photo through age not being felt by hand just makes it bad. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
326,Fearless_Silver_2733,AITA for exposing scam artists?,"First time poster, hopefully did correctly with all rules.

English is not my first language.

​

Okay, so: Probably a confusing title, but this has been haunting me for years. And I thought that maybe internet strangers outside the fandom might have some insight. A recent event reminded me of this, and I thought to maybe get some closure on this.

​

For starters: This was 5-10+ years ago. And multiple, near identical events. But I'll focus on a single one for cohesiveness. And slight info for clarity: I'm a hobbyist whistleblower. And I always assumed most people found it as cathartic as I do to expose dishonest people. But, with constant backlash and being called the asshole. I'm starting to wonder if this is some sub-culture thing that I'm simply clueless about.

​

With that out of the way: I'll keep the fandoms and artist anonymous.

But in short: I came across an artist posting a kickstater. Classic ""Give me money, I'll do spicy art in return"". After some digging. I discovered that this guy has done this before. 3 years running. They'll post a kickstarter, take all the money, then run. Repeat next year. On further digging. I also found out they have a long history of fraud when it comes to art packs. Ex: ""This pack contains 30 spicy pictures"" and then it's 5 pictures and 19 edits. Or a censored demo (for full price) with a link inside to ""subscribe to my patreon for the uncensored deluxe edition!"". And similar shady stuff.

So: I posted my findings, calling them out on it. But I exclusively got backlash over it. Being called a ""hater"", ""jealous"", being told ""fraud is just a business model"" and accused of ""wanting to harm their income"". I originally brushed it off as just white knights. But, as it kept happening. And it was the ONLY response: It confused me. One person even told me that: Even though the art packs are advertised as products, they are functionally just tip jars to show your appreciation.

​

And now: Over the years. I've seen similar events. And they get treated very similar when exposed. Be it art, games or etc. There are exceptions to this. But most seem to be treated as elaborate gambling of some sort, not scams.

​

I hope that made sense. So, internet strangers: AITA for trying to expose fraud within a fandoms art community?",,1,1,1.0
327,Throwaway617020,AITA for telling my husband if he leaves his job we moved for that we need to find him a job and move back where we came from (Austin)?,"My husband took a job across the country to further his career and we left the place we met, where all of our good friends and most of my family lives. It was not a hard choice, as I love and support him and knew it was a big deal for his career. Fast forward a year and it’s been a nightmare. The company is in disarray and without going into details, it’s not what he signed up for and he’s miserable. 

I knew he wanted to update his resume, however, today he tells me he had an interview and it went really well. When he asked me what I thought, I asked him if we could have a larger conversation when it’s a better time to discuss our future, and, in particular, where this job should be located. 

He became extremely upset and said it felt like I was telling him if we didn’t move back to Austin for his next job, then he had to stay in his current job which we moved for. I never said that, but I understand that’s how he felt.

When pressed on what this convo entailed, I said I would of course like to discuss moving back to Austin because it’s not like we moved here because we wanted to, it was solely for this job and growth opportunity and clearly that’s not working out so yes, I’d like to at least discuss moving back to Austin since it’s been a year and I am not very happy here and miss my friends and family. 

He was extremely upset again, said it felt unfair and not supportive, wasn’t fair I wanted to bail so quickly since I can work from anywhere, and he was bummed because this was the first job he’s been excited about since deciding it’s time to move on from his previous company. 

For background, my job is fully remote so I can live anywhere whereas he needs to be in the market of whatever company he works for given his role. Also, my family and friends are in Austin, whereas his family is primarily where we moved (albeit a few hours away), but his friends are mostly Austin, too. 

So, AITA for wanting to discuss / suggest moving back home for work if my husband truly is going to leave his job that we moved across the country for?",,1,1,1.0
329,weddingaitaaccount,"AITA for not wanting my sister to attend my wedding, and telling my mom to think about me instead of her?","I (30f) have a younger sister, Liz (26f). Liz had a very promising future, she was an Ivy student, always first in the class, beautiful and charming. A few years ago Liz suffered a TBI in a car accident. She doesn't get a lot of social cues, is slow to respond and sometimes throws tantrums like a moody teen. I love my sister, but the easiest way to explain it is that she can act like a child. 

I'm getting married to my fiance John (33m) in August. I think almost every girl dreams of her wedding and I'm no different.

I'll put it bluntly, I don't want Liz to attend the wedding. Mom would be hovering over her and she might create a scene during the ceremony or reception. The wedding is at a hotel so I suggested we book a room for Liz so she's nearby, and if needed mom can go check in on her. (And I say this because Liz can stay alone and has stayed alone in the past, so that's not an issue, and she's occupied with a movie or something)

Mom said I should be including Liz, at least for the ceremony. I tried to explain to her that I just want my perfect day, but she didn't want to hear it, so I said maybe she should think of me for a minute instead of Liz. Mom got mad and is now refusing to talk to me, and dad thinks I should apologize.

A lot of my friends think I'm correct here, but John said I should be more understanding and this will 'hurt' Liz.

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
330,JosephMother4206969,AITA for joking about how a mutual friend is a creep after they were creepy to my now ex-friend?,"My friends group and I recently went to an out of town anime convention. We had big group, so we had two hotel rooms.

Friday night, my now ex-friend who was in the other hotel, we'll call him Dennis, was sharing an inflatable mattress with our mutual friend, ""John"". John apparently had a ""personal-private time"" addiction that we weren't privy to, and while everyone was trying to sleep late at night, he began playing with himself.

Dennis woke up to the mattress vibrating and realized what was happening. He didn't react or wake anyone, he just got off of the bed and slept on the floor. The next day, Dennis brought another friend group into the room and surprised everyone by calling John out, rightfully roasting him for what he'd done.

The entire situation made everyone uncomfortable, but it was decided to just kick John out of the room.

Later that night, and for the rest of the weekend really, John became a huge inside joke within our friends group, at least away from Dennis. Yes, I definitely slid in a few jokes about this guy not being able to keep his hands to himself, but the nearly dozen of us were making jokes for the entire con at John's expense. A late night game of quiplash was impossible to play without mentioning the dude's name. Pictures from the game were even posted to our main group chat where Dennis would've seen them for sure, not to poke fun at him, but because we were dying of laughter and they were too good not to share with everyone.

I did feel bad for Dennis though. Ran into him a few times at the con, gave him a hug, told him I'm sorry for what had happened and asked if he was alright. Might sound like coddling, but he's a sensitive dude and seemed rather traumatized by the whole ordeal.

Anyway, about a week goes by and Dennis begins vaugeposting about how some people are loyal and some can't be trusted. At this point, he'd had drama with other people in his hotel room already, but I'd asked who he was talking about and got nothing.  Later, I find that Dennis is removing me from his social media accounts. I try to message him asking him what's wrong and what's going on, but I get nothing. I kept trying, not sure what I'd done to make him mad, until he finally calls me - screaming and insulting me on how I'm an asshole and a piece of shit. He won't let me ask anything, and just keeps shouting over me until he mentions that I shouldn't of joked about him. I told him that I never joked about him, but that I joked about John being a creep, which I definitely wasn't alone in doing. In the end, I just let him chew me out and hang up on me.

It's been about another week. I've hoped maybe he'd calmed down and we could speak, but according to another mutual friend, he wants nothing to do with me

In any case, am I the asshole who deserves this? Or is he being dramatic?",,1,1,1.0
332,MediaNo3527,AITA for telling my coworker to stop showing off?,"I (38F)work in an office that since we've been back in person the management has really relaxed the dress code and allows us to be more on the casual side of business casual. We're allowed to wear jeans everyday unless we have clients coming in as long as our shirts are more dressed up and our shoes aren't casual such as tennis shoes. 

There is an admin I'll call her Sally she supports the executives of the company and so she sits on the other end of the building. Even though we're allowed to dress down and be casual she's always showing up in overly dressy clothes and doesn't ever seem to be casual. 

Myself and a few other woman at work have make jokey comments on how we should take her shopping for more casual clothes, and that she's not working for Fortune 500 so she doesn't need to try so hard. All in good fun. 

However today one of the owners of our parent company came in unexpectedly and of course Sally is right there front and center during the meeting and the owner makes the comment on how ""refreshing it is"" to see someone in business attire again, and how she wishes more of us would take a page out of Sally's book. 

After the meeting I made the comment to Sally that she needs to stop showing off and sucking up and come down to our level. She gave me a death glare and walked away. 

Some of my coworkers think I took it to far but I think Sally's just trying to show the rest of us up.",,1,1,1.0
333,GrandExpensive4518,AITA for telling my son that just because he's getting married doesn't mean he isn't responsible to family obligations?,"I had my first son Andrew when I was young and 15 years later had my youngest son Tate.

Tate is now 9 and worships the ground that Andrew walks on. Andrew is pretty tolerant of it and does spend time with him which Tate loves. Andrew is 23 and is getting married to Kelsey next year. Both live with us but will move to their own place after they marry.

Andrew and Kelsey have been both spending time with Tate instead of just Andrew. I suppose Tate likes the extra attention. 

Me and my wife have been telling Tate that both of them are going to eventually move out and they aren't going to always be able to do fun stuff like going to IHOP or go to his games. This has been very stressful for Tate and he often takes it out on me.

I sat both Andrew and Kelsey down and said they have an obligation to Tate until he turns 12 and won't want anything to do with any family member but in the mean time Tate is still active obligation. So if they get married and move out then we need to work out a schedule so Tate can spend time with them. Maybe a weekend or something. 

My son said that's unfair and they'll come around when they can. I said no, you'll come around until he doesn't need you to come around. Family doesn't ditch each other like that.",,1,1,1.0
334,OmegaHI,AITA for wanting to go back to my hometown and live with my father?,"Background: Now Me (15yo) My mom (41yo) My Dad (40yo)Back in 2013/14 My mom got diagnosed with Cerebral Ataxia it made effected our family deeply and i still don’t know what could’ve possibly caused this. My father and mother would get into lots of fights I have no idea if the fights became physical or not. They decided to get divorced unfortunately this caused a lot of trouble mentally for me but I keep it bottled inside as it’s my own troubles. I lived with my dad as my mother just left and went wherever then 6 years ago my mother decided to come back and be with her children (my other two brothers now 25 and 24yo and me) Three years later, my mother decided that to get her own home and that I should live with her which when I was a kid i really didn’t care and my father agreed with this as he had to work a lot to provide for me since my mother cannot work due to her condition she can only get money from her disability checks.  As i grew i’ve been kicked out of my moms house multiple times some because of me but mostly because of her wish washy mood i don’t know what causes it but it obviously makes me and her very angryat each other. However i always end up back at her house because my dad cannot watch me as he is too busy working.I grew up in my hometown basically my whole life. I have friends there family there people I know and am now a sophomore in high school. My plan was to finish high school there go to college for a engineering and live the rest of my life relaxing. However, during winter break my mother decided to move me and her to another state I obviously objected to this as I do not like her side of the family and I wanted to finish high school here. However, she said i don’t have a choice and that she’s the mother so i have to listen to her. Later on she told my father which obviously caused a fight between them. I really didn’t want to move as this would damage my mental health due to having to go to a new school and such. My mother doesn’t consider any of this and says that we are moving so that we can get away from my father. I have no issue with my father but she does for as i mentioned earlier the fights they had for whatever reason. I ended having to move with her and come to find that we are not even moving into a house but we are living with someone until we find a home. I obviously got angry about this and gave my mom the cold shoulder. Everyone on her side of the family said i was wrong for this as they could not wrap they’re heads around the fact that” i wanted to go back to my hometown to live with my father who caused this condition on to her by physically and mentally abusing her. I never heard of this from my mom and i believed she was lying to her family about what was happening down in my hometown. AITA for still wanting to go back to my hometown? Sorry for bad grammar i. didn’t have to time to proofread.",,1,1,1.0
335,SR17740,AITA for being upset at the way someone reacted to my dogs cancer diagnosis?,"My 15 year old dog recently got diagnosed with cancer. I told a friend about this because they had heard the dog had surgery to remove a lump recently and wanted to know what the lump was. After telling them, I expected an ""Oh, that sucks."" Etc

Instead, they said ""This local vet offers at home euthanasia, if you're interested."" I was just stunned that I just responded ""Oh, I'll keep that in mind?"" And then they asked if I wanted details for a local crematorium. At this point, I was in shock and holding back tears that I just said goodbye and left. I haven't spoken to them since because I'm so upset at how insensitive their response was. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
339,Opposite-Bet-3611,WIBTA in asking my to be fiancé to invite a mutual friend for engagement that she does not want to?,"Throwaway for obvious reasons

Context - Getting married in a few months. Getting engaged in a few days (live in a country where engagements are a whole different function that happens before the wedding where friends are invited. The guest list is shorter than the actual wedding however. It's usually just close family and friends).

We have a mutual friends circle. A person Beth(name changed) was dating another person in the group. They broke up a few months ago for reasons I won't dive into. However, the breakup was one sided and Beth didn't really recover well. Beth is still in really bad shape. There have been some bad fights with Beth and the guy after the breakup when everyone met, mostly Beth's own doing.

Recently, Beth told my significant other that she won't be able to attend the engagement function because she is still not over the guy. (the guy is also in the same friends circle and will be at the engagement with other mutual friends).

My to be fiancé did not take well to this because Beth has been a best friend for a long time now for both of us but specifically to my fiancé. She is planning on uninviting Beth from the wedding if she doesn't show up for the engagement for this reason.

I think that's a bit harsh. Sometimes people need time to recover from breakups (I know that this is a super unhealthy way to recover by sitting and pining for months). 

​

WIBTA if I asked my fiancé to understand Beth's side of things and be at peace if Beth is missing from the engagement?",,1,1,1.0
340,ruinmyself_foryou,AITA for lying to my wife about who paid to replace her laptop after a friend broke it?,"My best friend - who we'll call Jay (26m) - and my wife (28f) don't get along. This has pretty much been the case since they met, but was exacerbated by an incident that occurred the first I (29m) introduced him to her, and by Jay coming to stay with us for a short period of time. He is neuro-divergent and has sensory issues, and I worked to accommodate him as a guest. He made a simple request before his arrival (no strong scents), which I informed my wife of before his stay. Still, I had to remind her every single day after work to go shower because her strong perfume made him feel sick. Another incident occurred where my wife made dinner and both the smell and texture bothered Jay, so I ordered him take out. My wife accused me of babying him. Jay, who had already steered clear of her to begin with, really made a point to not be around her from this moment on.

Things came to a head between them two months ago. One of the very few times he's stopped by my house since that visit, he ended up accidentally spilled water on my wife's new MacBook. I understood her frustration, but she was (in my opinion) unnecessarily harsh and very adamant about Jay paying for it. Ever the sweetest person alive, he did as she asked and brought over the new laptop and an apology note. 

I'd already felt guilty about him no longer feeling welcome in my home, and this situation just made it worse. I stopped by his place soon after with tearful apologies of my own and begged him to let me send him the price of the laptop and then some. He was reluctant, but I told him it was the least I could do and just the beginning of me making things up to him.

That brings us to tonight. My wife asked to see bank statements from my account. She handles our joint finances so I figured it was something relating to that, so I allowed her. She saw the charge of the money I had sent to Jay and lost it. She said even if I hadn't directly bought the laptop I had still undermined her and was also lying about financial matters. She said I would never go to such lengths for her or any of my other friends and that it was insulting I was prioritizing someone who had 'made her feel uncomfortable in our home.' She demanded an apology and I have yet to give her one. She's sleeping in the guest room tonight. 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
341,leafdaughter,AITA for telling the cops what i saw?,"a month or two back, my friends and i got drunk. we’re college kids, we wanted to have fun, whatever. it was at a get-together, not really a party but just a handful of my friends and i. one guy, we’ll call him F, brought along a girl he had been seeing, i’ll call her Q- it was their 3rd date i think. in the lead up to the party, F was talking about how Q was kind of “prudish” about sex, but how he was “absolutely sure” he would score at the party.

so at the party, we’re just sitting around and drinking. i was maybe two shots in, feeling a *little* buzzed but i’m fully sure i was coherent and not succumbing to the alcohol (important for later). there was kind of a lull in conversation, and F went to make Q a drink. i can’t be 100% sure, but i am 95% sure that he put *something* in her drink- some powder from a little baggie. it was quick, and his hands were mostly hidden behind a counter, but from where i was sitting on the couch i saw it.

i might be TA for this, but i didn’t say anything immediately- i’m not really a drinker, i wasn’t entirely sure what i saw, and i WAS buzzed. Q was maybe 4 or 5 drinks in. after i saw it i watched her a little more closely. she didn’t seem to have any huge reaction or anything- she was a little loopy when they left but part of me attributed it to the alcohol. F confirmed later the next day that he did in fact “score”. most of my friends are guys, so they all congratulated him, whatever. without going into detail, word got to me and my friends first from Q’s parents and then from the police that she thinks F may have spiked her drink.

the other guys were adamant that F would never, but i remembered what i had seen and i wasn’t so sure. i talked to Q’s parents along with a man who i think was a cop, about what i had seen that night. i prefaced it by saying essentially what i said above about not being entirely sure, being drunk, etc. but i also mentioned how sure F was that he would get her to have sex. Q is distraught, and i feel terrible for her. the guys have apparently also had run ins with her parents and they’ve maintained that F didn’t do anything shady. i told them a) what i saw and b) what i said, and they blew up at me- F especially. now none of them are talking to me.

i’m not sure. did i fuck up? should i have stayed quiet?",,1,1,1.0
344,FormerLanguage1531,AITA for telling my best friend she's being a bridezilla?,My(f26) best friend(f23) of 7 yearsgot engaged on New Year's. Woohoo! She asked me to be the maid of Honor and I'm honored. She doesn't plan on getting married until summer of 2024. She really wants to get married out of state about 16 hours away from where we live now. She's on a tight budget so I offered to give her $500 for a dress. But amongst the planning she mentioned how she's not going to have any food. And I've let it slide the first four or five times that she's mentioned it but this last time I said you know it's kind of tactless to ask people to drive so far or even fly in not have any accommodations and then also not feed them. A lot of people probably won't go. She told me that if it's too inconvenient for people they don't have to go and if people only want to go to her wedding to get a free meal then they're not really her friend and I feel like she was implying that about me. I wanted to get married in the same place and my maid of honor who is my best friend of 23 years told me no way in hell. We are in a similar financial State when we both initially got engaged. and I love the place that she wants to get married in which is why I wanted to get married there too and I get having a budget so I'm trying to tell her that she won't be able to have everything she wants and she'll have to compromise. She's not being short and defended with me and saying that I don't have to go to the wedding if I don't want to and I'm just wondering if I am projecting my vision of my wedding and how it didn't go so well onto my best friend? I don't want to try and snip her wings but I also don't want her to fly into the sun and be disappointed and offended when the people she invites (25) don't show up/ are offended that there is no food despite making such a journey.,,1,1,1.0
345,blubdog,AITA for impersonating a pizza place?,"This happened decades ago, before cell phones were common.  I had recently graduated and moved to a new town for my first job.  I had a small apartment and a landline phone without caller-id.  Long-distance cost money and I didn't know anyone in the new town, so I rarely got legit phone calls.  

My new phone number turned out to be a digit off from a popular pizza place.  I started receiving calls from someone wanting pizza.  It sounded like the calls were coming from the same person.  I politely explained that he had the wrong number, which was the end of it for the night.  Then a night or two later the same person called again wanting pizza.  Repeat every night or two.

I came up with a plan to stop the wrong numbers.   I started answering my phone ""Dominos"".  And sure enough, the same guy called soon after.  I listened to his order and said okay.  He then asked me ""how much?"".  I hadn't planned for this, so I made up a number.  There was a long pause, and finally, the guy said ""okay..."".  I'm assuming I guessed low and he didn't want to argue.  30-45 minutes later my phone started ringing again and I knew who it was, so I didn't answer.  I then unplugged my phone for the rest of the night.

Amazingly, this fixed my wrong-number problem; I don't remember receiving wrong numbers after that.  I only had to take that one order.  AITA for impersonating a pizza place?",,1,1,1.0
346,RavynRust74,AITA or should I have said anything?,"Ok. I'm in my late 40s and im female. I'm putting my life back together after some life changing health issues & life changes. I'm in an environment that might not be great for me bit I'm working on changing my circumstances. 
 Here's the situation. I have a roommate couple who have issues. The problem came when I came out of MY room to use the restroom earlier in the morning. I hear my male roommate going ""hey get the hell F outa here."" I thought he could not be talking to me. He then comes to his door to ask me if I had opened his door. I told him that I hadn't & that was all I had said to him. I told the other roommates what happened because I didn't feel like he spoke to me with any respect. Am I the A hole for trying to protect myself? This guy is weird but should I have just kept quiet? I do wish I could leave here but not financially ready yet.",,1,1,1.0
347,Sucks_Mcdicks02,AITA- he wants to do OF without me,"Im Female (19) my boyfriend of 2 months male (24) wants to start an Only fans, but just of him? I mean I don’t really wanna talk to my family about it, but like am I wrong for wanting to do it to? A team effort, not just me putting things in his ass…. Like don’t get me wrong I enjoy it as much as the next gal but like huh? Im just management to you? I used to do only fans and made serious money, but he wants to set me aside like a trophy…. Im a diamond. So I guess lmk",,1,1,1.0
351,Drama-geek,AITA for yelling at my director when she put me in a role I feel uncomfortable playing.,I’m apart of a theatre group and my director cast me in a trans role. No offence to trans people but I feel uncomfortable playing it because I’m straight and I don’t want to offend you or my trans friends. She said play the role or get out of my sight. So I asked her again if she could put me in a different role or if I could trade since the production just started. She told me that me and my issues weren’t important. I yelled and was really angry. she called me a disrespectful drama queen and threatened to give me a bad reference in the future. AITA?,,1,1,1.0
353,javiereq,AITA for keeping engagement intentions from family until it happened?,"I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years on morning of New Year’s Eve. I was really excited and she said yes! Immediately after settling down and everything, we started FaceTiming all of our family members to tell them the news.

Her parents were great and were truly happy of us taking that next step together. My parents on the other hand were very happy as well on that day, but three days later are really coming off as very upset saying they were “very surprised” by my decision of asking my girlfriend to marry me and that why would I not involve them in any part of the process.

I really wanted to keep everything as a very hidden secret from literally everyone since all my family members have a sensational relationship with my gf and are constantly talking and wanted to avoid something slipping out on accident over a talk or anything. This has happened with other unrelated and less serious stuff.

So now I cannot stop wondering: should I have involved my parents a little bit more? I have this feeling that they might be feeling betrayed even though they say they do not but well I feel shitty but tbh feel like I shouldn’t.

TL;DR: planned my engagement in secret and now family is acting upset because they were not involved in the process before it happened.",,1,1,1.0
354,Wild-Depth-5265,AITA for not wanting my boyfriend's parents and family to meet our newborn?,"I'm 9 months pregnant. I'm due at the end of Jan. 
My family has been super involved and helped us with getting baby stuff and buying things from our registry. They are excited and my mom and dad are happy they are getting another Granddaughter. 
My siblings are supportive and are making plans to come meet her after she's born. 

My boyfriend's family hasn't said anything at all. 
Now, he already is estranged from them. He is closest to his Grandma, but his mother and step dad and sister have shown no desire or concern about us, our relationship or our new baby. He reached out to say Merry Christmas and only his Grandma asked how we were doing with the pregnancy and when we were due. 
The rest of the family must have forgotten.

He is estranged because his family is majorly religious and he stopped believing. They treat him like he's not even family most times. 
Now his mom wants to just show up when she feels like it after our baby is born and I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable with it. 
I was venting to my mom about it and she scolded me saying I was being selfish and his mom is our baby's grandmother and she is family. 
I hardly know this woman and since she did not care about us or our baby this entire time, I'm questioning her Intent for wanting to visit at all. I feel like the visit will be very uncomfortable and it makes me nervous thinking about it. I want our daughter to have a healthy family unit and we both agree his family is unhealthily religious and judgmental (They are old school LDS). 

AITA for not wanting his mom to visit us and honestly have anything to do with his mom and family since they haven't cared this whole time? Should I just let them visit and get over it? Like am I being too emotional about this.?",,1,1,1.0
357,Comfortable-Sun-6021,AITA for refusing to pay 15€ for a surprise for my Classmate?,"So basically this all happened last year when I was in 6th Grade. I had this one Classmate, we’ll call her Amy. Amy‘s Mother died because of Covid-19 and she fell into a deep depression. my Teacher thought it would be a great idea to surprise Amy with an iPad and everyone had to give 15€ to buy it. I refused because why would I pay for someone I never spoke a word with? My teacher and some of my classmates said that I was selfish, for not wanting to pay for the iPad. My teacher called my parents, telling them about how I didn’t want to pay for the surprise. And if they didn’t teach me any respect, since someone’s mother died. As if it was my fault. My parents were so mad at my teacher because why would a teacher talk about how my parents didn’t raise me right because I didn’t want to pay 15€? I mean some people can’t just give away money for people they don’t even know. In the end, I didn’t pay, and ever since I’m always being the selfish brat in my class. 


(I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes in the text)",,1,1,1.0
358,throwaway278437,AITA for giving my friend the cold shoulder after she killed my plants?,"My friend and I have known each other for almost two years now. I'm a ride-or-die friend, and I respected and admired her a lot. I felt she was the kind of friend who would always be there through thick and thin.

For my birthday, she told me she would be MIA, but was unwilling to let me know why. I found out through Instagram that she went on a weekend getaway. I was deeply hurt but felt it wasn't worth fighting over. She seemed sorry, so I let it go. Then I needed her for an important meeting, and she showed up late. Despite the situation, I stayed after to help her with her meeting because I wanted to be there for her. Perhaps she was burnt out, so I didn't chalk it up too much.

So, I had to go out of town this past couple of weeks, and I asked her to water my plants. She has lots of her own plants, so I felt she might care for them best. She said yes, so I gave her simple instructions along with my spare key. The first week she let sent me a photo of my plants to let me know she stopped by to water them. After that, radio silence. I didn't think much of it because watering plants doesn't require updates.

The day I was returning, she texted me asking if I was home because she didn't want to walk in on me accidentally. ""Weird comment"" I thought (if I were home, it'd be noticeable), and I told her I'd be back at 5 pm. She texted me later, saying that the plants didn't look in good condition, and that she felt terrible. I told her I'd take a look at them when I got home. I was deeply confused; it couldn't be that bad.

In reality, it was much worse. The root systems were like dust, I had to toss two 2-year-old plants into the bin. That was yesterday and I've been deeply depressed since. Both plants were a gift from my mother as a sort of ""new beginnings"". I live alone, and the presence of flowers (especially in the winter) keeps me sane. They help me feel connected to my mom, whom I'm far from. I worked hard on those plants and was hoping to make them bloom.

I took care of her place (including plants and cat) this past summer while also going through a horrible breakup, a flu+infection, and work. When I house-sat for her, I did her laundry, cleaned her place, and regularly kept her posted.

My friend has offered to replace the plants but has been insensitive to the situation by shifting blame. She mentioned she was sick for a week, but never said anything about it until I got back. She explained tried her best, but my plants were too fragile. I had two succulents. I don't have the heart to interact with her anymore, and I've been curt over text. Why would a friend care so little like this, and then cover it up till the last minute?

TLDR; Friend (whom I thought was a close friend) accepted request to water my plants, ended up killing them, not letting me know 'till the last minute, and then downplays her role in the situation.",,1,1,1.0
359,vanessam01,AITA for wanting to tell my friends that I don’t want to talk or hang out because I just want some alone time because of mental health,I want to be alone and not talk to anyone for a while because I want time to myself and take care of my mental health but I don’t want to be rude and ghost people nor do I want to straight up tell them that I don’t want to talk and hang out and seem selfish like I’m the only one going through something then come back out of the blue like “alright I’m good now what did I miss” you know. I just get tired of talking to them sometimes and don’t want to interact but I’m scared of hurting their feelings and looking like a bad friend. I hope this made sense.,,1,1,1.0
363,AggressiveFig9694,AITA for not wanting to always eat at chain restaurants because of my brother’s allergies?,"My half-brother has a severe peanut allergy so we’ve always gone to one of three chain restaurants with him. 

Recently, my aunt immigrated to Canada and I’m taking her and her family to a restaurant that has food that she’ll really like (and that remind her of home). There are twelve people going and I made the reservation. 

I made plans separately to have dinner with my brother and his mom at a peanut-free restaurant but they couldn’t make that appointment. I told my brother and his mom about the other family gathering and said they could come if they wanted and she was very upset with me because I picked a restaurant that wasn’t safe for him to eat at.

The gathering wasn’t for him but for my aunt but now it’s become a whole thing where there’s resentment on both sides. I don’t want to eat bland chain food all the time but she seems to want us to accommodate his needs every time. 

I need perspective. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
364,Salt-Sorbet6837,AITA for wanting to end contact with my mom after I graduate college?,"I 21F and my mom 50F have always had a rocky relationship.  There isn’t a specific story to tell because there are to many, but I have always felt mentally abused by her.  The rest of my family has always been super supportive of me and I love dearly, but I personally believe that my mom is bipolar (but undiagnosed) due to her behavior and family medical history.  Since I was a child, I have always tried to live up to her unrealistic expectations but she never fails to point out my flaws or make up issues to argue about.  To list a few reasons I want to distance myself: she has always called me fat even when I was starving myself and “underweight” according to BMI (I am now 5’11 and 140 pounds), she would yell at me and smack me for not being good at math even though I was valedictorian in high school, and she manipulates me by threatening to take away her financial support to help me through college and living expenses in order to get me to do things for her saying I owe her.   Often when I talk to her, she says I am a disappointment even though I am an honors student in college, own a successful fashion line, and have made thousands before even graduating.  When I graduate and have a stable career (thus can support myself financially on my own), I would like to severely limit contact from her and keep her for interacting with my future children. AITA for feeling this way?",,1,1,1.0
365,Azbee12,WIBTA for coming out?,"I've known I was gay for about 2 years now and kind of want to come out to my parents who are slightly homophobic but in order to explain that I would have to dob in on my brother knowing about it and am unsure if I should because it really has nothing to do with him, but I have a feeling they will mad at him as well as me. . . Would I BE The Asshole???",,1,1,1.0
366,mielnoire,AITA for asking for my money back?,"
I lent money to a ""friend"" who needed help. Without question, I lent him the 200 for what he needed. He promised to pay it back on the weekend. The weekend came and left -- he didn't make mention of the money. Instead, he would talk to me, as if nothing happened. I reluctantly asked for my money back, he promised in two weeks and asked for some time. I let him know I did not appreciate him lying to me. I lent him the money on Oct 6, 2022.  A couple of weeks back I confronted him in a series of messages because I felt frustrated. He claimed I was calling him names, and proceeded to guilt trip me and call me crazy and negative. Today it is Jan 3, 2023. I do not have any contact with him, however I want my money back. How should I go about this? What should I do?   


\*For context, he is a 48M, and I'm a 28F. We had a little situationship. (I know ... embarrassing. I deeply regret it)",,1,1,1.0
368,throwaway278437,AITA that my friend killed my plants?,"My friend and I have known each other for almost two years now. I'm a ride-or-die friend, and I respected and admired her a lot. I felt she was the kind of friend who would always be there through thick and thin.

For my birthday, she told me she would be MIA, but was unwilling to let me know why. I found out through Instagram that she went on a weekend getaway. I was deeply hurt but felt it wasn't worth fighting over. She seemed sorry, so I let it go. Then I needed her for an important meeting, and she showed up late. Despite the situation, I stayed after to help her with her meeting because I wanted to be there for her. Perhaps she was burnt out, so I didn't chalk it up too much.

So, I had to go out of town this past couple of weeks, and I asked her to water my plants. She has lots of her own plants, so I felt she might care for them best. She said yes, so I gave her simple instructions along with my spare key. The first week she let sent me a photo of my plants to let me know she stopped by to water them. After that, radio silence. I didn't think much of it because watering plants doesn't require updates.

The day I was returning, she texted me asking if I was home because she didn't want to walk in on me accidentally. ""Weird comment"" I thought (if I were home, it'd be noticeable), and I told her I'd be back at 5 pm. She texted me later, saying that the plants didn't look in good condition, and that she felt terrible. I told her I'd take a look at them when I got home. I was deeply confused; it couldn't be that bad.

In reality, it was much worse. The root systems were like dust, I had to toss two 2-year-old plants into the bin. That was yesterday and I've been deeply depressed since. Both plants were a gift from my mother as a sort of ""new beginnings"". I live alone, and the presence of flowers (especially in the winter) keeps me sane. They help me feel connected to my mom, whom I'm far from. I worked hard on those plants and was hoping to make them bloom.

I took care of her place (including plants and cat) this past summer while also going through a horrible breakup, a flu+infection, and work. When I house-sat for her, I did her laundry, cleaned her place, and regularly kept her posted.

My friend has offered to replace the plants but has been insensitive to the situation by shifting blame. She mentioned she was sick for a week, but never said anything about it until I got back. She explained tried her best, but my plants were too fragile. I had two succulents.... I don't have the heart to interact with her anymore, and I've been really curt over text messages. Why would a friend care so little like this, and then cover it up till the last minute?

AITA for being depressed, disappointed, and furious over this situation?

TLDR; Friend (whom I thought was a close friend) accepted request to water my plants, ended up killing them, not letting me know 'till the last minute, and then downplays her role in the situation.",,1,1,1.0
369,ButterscotchHot1324,AITA for telling my daughter to not get pregnant?,"I (32F) have a daughter (18F) who desperately wants to have a baby. I advised her not to and to learn from my mistakes since I had an extremely difficult time being a teen parent. She says I am being hypocritical because I had a baby at such a young age and I told her that I was a parent, but not a good one, and that I couldn’t give her the life she deserved because I was literally a freshman in high school. I said that I don’t care if it makes me a hypocrite because I know I’ve made bad decisions and if she waits, her future baby will live a better life. She’s an only child and very very smart. But I have no idea where this baby fever has come from.",,1,1,1.0
371,Joj131,AITA or boundaries pushed?,"My partner 22 male and I 23 they/she live together and have a beautiful life together. We study culinary and challenge each others skills and go on adventures as much as possible. We have struggled financially and we started as a friends with benefits relationship that developed throughout some of our hardest times separate from the relationship. He has helped me raise my kitten into a cat and we for the most part are the picture perfect couple. However I have gotten to the point where i no longer feel as though I can communicate to him. He and I from the beginning have been very forward about open and honest communication and I used to tell him everything that crossed my boundaries whether it was sexual, financial, emotional, or from a relationship standpoint. I realized early into being with him that my boundaries for what i consider cheating or inappropriate or something that needed to be communicated in the relationship were very different. My most primary example was the day I borrowed his phone to confirm a large cashapp i sent him so that I could borrow his card for groceries when I lost mine and I came to realize he had given a women he knew from high school money for her only fans. He explained that he never actually looked at it just wanted to support an old friend and continued on. I explained that i would prefer in the future if he would either tell me these things or refrain from doing it as it feels kinda weird to never tell me especially when we are mutually leaning on each other financially. He went on to say that if it made me uncomfortable that was on me and that he was always going to support women. I felt bad on that end because as an ex strippa i would never want to encroach on business I just understand that women typically don’t just message men their OF if they know they’re taken. However I learned from this and have just taken his interactions amongst his female friends with a grain of salt. However he has one friend who his relationship makes me uncomfortable in our home and I am beginning to wonder if I have a right to bring it up. They vividly describe her sex life in our dining room while i cook dinner and they frequently have one on one nights that I am not welcome at. My biggest issue with her however rises from a specific evening where I tried to get close to her when my partner and I were first beginning our relationship. I went over with wine and we had a girls night and this friend of his revealed to me that “if she hadn’t ended up with “my partner’s best friend” they would be together right now, so i’m a lucky girl” it shocked me and I continued on the evening for 30 ish more minutes before leaving. Now I know that because of prior relationships I could be projecting past experiences on this one, I have never been in a relationship this positive and I know it is often that one tends to see old habits in new situations however I can’t help but wonder if even if it’s not cheating I have the right to say it pushed my boundaries or would that make me the a$$hole?",,1,1,1.0
372,Either-Question6570,AITA for telling my brother he is about to be transformed into a nerd?,"About a year ago when I got my glasses and braces, I remember my brother calling me a nerd. Sure enough… his time has come. Today he got both glasses and braces (and an expander). When he came home  I said “your nerdification has begun” and my mom pulled me aside and said to not make a big deal because he is nervous about the big changes and going back to school and he is self conscious about his lisp.

AMITA for calling my brother a nerd just like he called me?",,1,1,1.0
374,jackiechanswife,AITA for being upset that I wasn’t invited to my sibling’s wedding?,"This past fall I decided to make a career switch and take a 3 month tech boot camp online. 

I live in one of the most expensive cities in North America so whilst studying/not working, I decided it would be best to live out the three months in a small village in Europe, where my partner owns a home. Free rent, cheap food, visiting my partners family - that was the idea. 

I knew several months prior to planning my trip that my sibling was engaged and planning to get married in the fall. 

A month prior to booking my trip, I asked my sibling if they could let me know when they would get married so that I could be there and would delay my trip/my studies. I even offered to not go on the trip and stay in my city to make it work. My sibling told me to stop bothering them, that they didn’t know when they would be married. Understood, even though I thought it was customary to plan weddings a few months in advance. 

Sibling said not to worry, that they would get married when everyone could be around. 

I proceeded to plan my trip. 

One month into my tree month trip, my sibling tells me they’re getting married in three weeks and sorry I couldn’t make it but that it “wasn’t a big deal”. 

They didn’t even invite me to come, just said sorry you can’t make it and don’t feel bad. 

Unfortunately I could neither afford time-wise (due to my intensive course) nor money-wise to travel 24 hours back home for their middle of the week day wedding. 

Nonetheless, my sibling managed to orchestrate it enough so that their partner’s immediate family could fly across the country to attend. 

I was hurt and offended. 

I tried sharing with my sibling my feelings but they reiterated that I shouldn’t feel bad and it is not a big deal. 

I honestly feel like crap about our relationship now and feel like they don’t care about me at all. We never had a big fight, and we’ve always been medium close for siblings. They’re pretty private, but I feel weird that my sibling planned it enough so everybody in both of their immediate families minus me could attend. 

My sibling also wrote to our extended family group chat (80% of whom they didn’t invite) to gift them money to congratulate them on the marriage… which I begrudgingly did because I’m trying to be a bigger person . 

AITA for being upset? How can we move on from here?",,1,1,1.0
375,Acrobatic-Garbage404,AITA for canceling my basketball registration and getting yelled at by my parents,When this story happened I was 12 at the time and also Happy New Years. One day basket registration open and since my mom was a prioror basket ball player in her country she wanted to force me to do a sport. I always hated sports and I still do to this day I am more of a collector guy. One time when I went to the computer to do my homework I saw a page open and it said (school name) basketball registration and than it said that it was pending. Since it was still in the making of making me a (athlete) I clicked the red button which said cancel. My parents still thought that I was registered so when the following Friday came they coach said to my parents that they canceled and that we needed to leave. My parents were furious that they took away my phone for 2 months and my iPad. It was the worst 2 months of my teen life. My parents were also furious as they already have bought the uniform and everything to play in basketball. AITA for cancelling my basket ball program my parents signed me up to as I hated sports?,,1,1,1.0
376,mohegen860,AITA for refusing to give my boyfriend's son a bedroom?,"I (28f) have been dating my boyfriend (26m) for about four years. I have a daughter who is 9 and a son who is 7. My boyfriend and I have recently started living together in a three bedroom house with my two kids. Both of the kids have their own rooms as do we but my boyfriend is demanding I make space for his son as well. Ideally he is wanting us to give up our room so all of the kids have their own spaces.

I did not believe this was fair as he does not see his son (6) outside of supervised visits with his sons's mom in public places every couple weeks. In the four years I have been with him I have not even MET his son as his mother requires him to come alone to their visits outside of his family members and occasionally male friends. He has never attempted to gain custody (though he does pay child support) only asked his mother for him to stay or be dropped off which she has never and will never allow. 

I did refuse to give up our bedroom but tried to compromise to if he decided to push for custody or she decided to let him stay we could put a second bed or get bunk beds in my sons room until we found a larger house. Although, I did not want to do this immediately as the rooms are small and it wouldn't make sense to take up half his room with an extra bed or spend the money on bunk beds when they weren't going to be put to use right now. I did however say as soon as the circumstances changed I would be happy to make whatever accommodations were needed. 

He got very angry about this and accused me of not caring about his son like he does my kids and playing favorites. I thought this was wrong as I haven't really had the opportunity to establish a relationship with his son but was never against it. It all just doesn't seem realistic for the current situation. Am I being unfair or too harsh about this?",,1,1,1.0
377,External_Win_4438,AITA for giving my boyfriend the silent treatment,"My boyfriend and I are about 5.5 years into our relationship and are both 23. He can be really funny, but, then other times his jokes are total misfires.

2021 and 22 were not  great years for me as I put on a lot of weight. He knows I'm self conscious about it and don't want to discuss it.

A few days ago, he and I were hanging out trying to waste time before a dinner reservation. I said to him that I wasn't sure what to wear.

He smirks and tells me to go put on my green tracksuit because it shows of my, as he worded it, "" Big ol' butt"". I scoffed, and figured the next thing out of his mouth would be an apology, but instead he goes, "" Oh, c'mon, I'm messing around."" I told him to leave and to cancel dinner. He's texted me 23 times in 3 days and I haven't replied.

My older sisters feel I'm the AH for going silent on him and letting him dangle, my case is, "" big ol' butt"" is uncalled for.

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
382,DumbestDinoEver,AITA for yelling at a boy in a bus?,"I was in a public bus and I heard an boy who looked like an asian, who kept making noises at my back and I was displeased with it.
I turned my head instaneously and yelled at him: ""What is wrong with you?""

He replied that ""He was sick and having an allergy.""

I then responded: ""Well, if you are sick why you should take the fucking bus?""

He then said:""I know, but that's my only way to go home, why you curse at me?""

I replied:""There is a pandemic! you should get it checked out!""

AITA for yelling a boy for no reason?",,1,1,1.0
383,Insomniac_user1,AITA for not wanting my mom’s car as my first car?,"Okay so I feel like a terrible daughter for this. I’m 15F about to be 16 in two months and I’m really hoping to get a new used car for my birthday. I’ve been working since I turned 15 and am going to help pay for it (about 2k give or take), well my parents want to give me my mom’s car. I’m totally against but I haven’t fully shared my opinion on it with them since they are only wanting to giving me her car. 

Not sure if this matters but I have 2 brothers. One a couple years old and considered golden and one 7 years younger. I really do not want that car, it feels like a slap in the face to me. I’m giving them a lot of money to put towards my car that I have been working crazy hard to get. The car has been crashed a couple times and I’ve grown up in that car. I know I wouldn’t consider the car mine especially after it was hers for so long and it was my older brother’s practice car. 

I haven’t really been aloud to look at other cars but I’ve found a few willing to take 4-5k for cars in good condition and with low mileage. I feel like a brat but I also know how I feel like I’m getting the short end of the stick. My brother also got a very nice 1990 something mustang as his first car that no one else in the family had had previously. 

Part of me feels like I’m wasting my money by giving it to them when I could put it to me getting a car that would actually be mine. Am I an asshole?",,1,1,1.0
384,Ancient_Marzipan_542,AITA For asking my BF to go on a trip with me on my birthday during a school week?,"I have had a trip planned to unspecified location for almost a year and have had the dates and told him for almost as long as that. My parents are paying for lodging and activities and this trip is important to me because it’s a milestone in my life which I want him to be a part of, also, it would just be a lot of fun. My dear BF told me about a day or two ago that he can’t come because he would be missing school days. The trip total is 5 days long, starting on a weekend day and ending on a day in the middle of the week. He would be missing 1 day with one class, and 2 days with more than one class. I am hurt by this because I was looking forward to it and have been planning a long time and had planned some special dinners and stuff, but now I am stuck with going only with my parents or inviting people I didn’t really intend to go in the first place. He me to move the dates to either his break (before my birthday) or on a weekend (way more expensive, and it’s already been paid for). He hasn’t looked at his syllabus or anything yet but my parents want to know who I want to bring. AITA for wanting him to come? I am also in college and would be missing lectures and a lab and I have missed time in class before for sickness/ my career but I will not tell him that because that’s not okay.",,1,1,1.0
386,brookebuilder,AITA for not giving my dad a puppy?,"My father and I don’t get along. There are plenty of reasons for that, but for this post, I will stick to pet and actual business.

History: my dad sold purebred hunting dogs while I was a child to supplement income. From memory, he was decent and caring and took them to the vet. However, as I grew up in this household, I constantly heard “just a dog.” A dog was not family, it’s just a dog. In fact, the last dog my dad owned he dumped when it was 8 because the dog ripped up the couch after suddenly developing separation anxiety. He dumped the family dog, who never had incidents before this, near a campground as he did not want to pay the surrender fee at the local shelter ($50). 

Fast forward 20 years, my parents have divorced and remarried, and I have a total of 8 kids because my husband and I took on 4 family member’s kids in addition to our own 4. We chose to make income from home, I am a severe pain patient after surviving a rock climbing fall. My legs have been reconstructed, I was unable to care for 8 kids on my own at the time. 

We already owned purebred, championship bloodline German Shepherds because of my husbands past of going through the police academy for DNR/Warden. We added one, and began breeding. We were always sticklers for genetics with dogs and knew we would breed responsibly and safely. 

My dad, who I have always suspected is a sociopath or psychopath, just asked my husband and I to give him a female puppy (which sells for $1400) so he can start breeding. He doesn’t want to pay, he wants to trade a puppy later after he starts breeding. My dad lives 30 mins away. We already compete with 4 breeders in the state, and now my dad wants us to willingly give him a dog to start his own breeding, competing with us in the exact demographic for business. Now this income is what puts a roof over his grandkids head, which he never sees, never acknowledges nor really give a crap about. 

I told my dad I was nervous about the competition in the immediate area. I did not bring up his “just a dog” philosophy or what happened with his last dog. We told him we could NOT trade a puppy now for a maybe puppy later, especially when he wants to hurt our business in order to supplement his. (He’s doing WAY better than us!) We would agree to a pup for 1k, including breeding rights (which we hold) as long as he didn’t breed her at the same time as ours. 

He thinks I’m the biggest AH in the world now. Literally everything I said offended him. The over 25% discount wasn’t good enough, and the fact that I wouldn’t give him a pup now for a pup later. He also said I have no right to control who sells dogs in the area, which is true, however, we do retain breeding rights and it’s our prerogative to allow breeding rights or not with a sale. So AITA?",,1,1,1.0
388,MaximumBallsweat,AITA for lying to my daughter?,"Ok, so for some background. 

I have an autistic daughter with my ex partner. Daughter is a beautiful girl who is able to attend regular school and do most things without assistance.

My ex was an abusive and mentally ill person who threatened us constantly, stalked us, tried to get me fired and tried to take my daughter away overseas. Police intervention was regular. He threatened my mother and accused me and my family of terrible things, and identified himself as a meninist.

After years of this going on and pushing myself and my mother to the brink of a mental breakdown, the family court stripped him of his parental authority. This meant that he still got to see his daughter three days and two nights a week, but lost his authority to make decisions about our daughter’s medical care and education, since he was abusing it by refusing to allow her to see doctors or attend school and to make our lives as difficult as possible.This was when daughter was four years old. 

After he lost his parental rights, he stopped seeing our daughter instantly. Two years later, he passed by his own hand after a physical confrontation with his partner at the time. 

Because of the constant abuse and threats, when we used to exchange our daughter, all things that needed to be communicated between us regarding daughter’s care were written down in a small notebook. There are three of these notebooks, and in them is a detailed history of his abusive and intimidating behaviour - half of the content is just abuse. The books were kept as they were needed during court proceedings.

Anyway, daughter is now a pre-teen. Life is much calmer, and I have a good relationship with my ex’s mother, who sees my daughter regularly. Daughter has only good memories of her father despite everything that happened. Everyone tried very hard to shield her from the worst of it at the time. 

I found the notebooks in an old box while I was moving house recently. 

Daughter has begun asking questions about what kind of a man her father was. I’ve only said that he loved her very much and that he was ill.

My mother thinks I should show my daughter the notebooks and all of the court documents that were kept from the court case. She says that daughter has a right to know the truth. 

My ex’s mother is begging me to destroy the notebooks and documents and to allow her to believe the happy version she currently believes. 

I’m inclined to let my daughter continue to believe that her father was someone to be proud of. He is no longer here to prove her wrong or ruin his image in her eyes.

I told my mother I won’t be showing my daughter the notebooks and documents, and told my ex’s mother that I won’t be destroying the books. My mother isn’t talking to me now, and I’m not going to attempt to re-establish contact with her. I feel like I’ve just upset everyone.

Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
389,New-year-new-me-2023,AITA for getting engaged a year into my daughter’s 22 month engagement?,"My daughter, 29, got engaged in December of 2021 and is planning her wedding for October 2023.  

I got divorced after a 29-year marriage in December 2021; we had separated since August 2021. Then, in July 2022, I met a wonderful man, and he proposed in December 2022. My daughter, who is my ride-or-die girl, is distraught. She feels it's too soon, and I'm stealing the limelight. I have spent 2022 planning her wedding with her, shopping and purchasing her wedding dress, and throwing a beautiful engagement party. We are incredibly close, and I feel sad and hurt. 

We aren't getting married for several years.  

We have exchanged several long texts explaining our position. But she won't talk to me. She said she wants me happy but not at her expense. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
390,trashingthisonelmfao,WIBTA if i kicked/blocked everyone on my minecraft server?,"I (16) own a small minecraft server with my friends, both online and real life. It's been almost a year since I started it, and it's been really fun to livestream and play on it with friends. 

We posted a small google form on another subreddit to get more active players, and maybe to start having people to write lore with. There was a small group of people that joined the server (each joined individually but formed a group after meeting) and they became a problem pretty quickly. 

The main problem is this one player, who I'll call Sable, who has done a number of annoying and rule-breaking things, including harassment, some pretty ableist jokes, and constant nagging to be a mod on the server. When granted mod because everyone on the server was telling me to give him the position, he abused commands and frequently tormented other players with them. After having his mod privileges taken away, he proceeded to whine to all his friends and my other mods to vouch for him to come back, the majority of whom used the opportunity to complain about him to me. 

The thing is, Sable's one of our most active members, and his entourage is our second most active group besides my own friends. He has a few of my online friends in his group, but no one I'm all that close with. Lately, my friends have been telling me to block and ban them all from the server, and we're really considering it. We were even hoping to let them all down easy by saying that I couldn't pay for the minecraft server any longer and then blocking them on social media so they can't see us streaming or posting about it. 

WIBTA if i kicked or blocked them without explanation? Should i play the can't-pay-for-server card? I genuinely can't tell if I'm being a dick but I also feel like i shouldn't have to pay for a server that i won't play on because they make me want to avoid it.",,1,1,1.0
392,Brief-Ad2119,WIBTA If I asked my teacher to change my grade… Again?,"I (15f) am a high school freshman. Recently I got a grade back on a group project in my Business class and I received an 80. Now i’m not saying an 80 is a bad grade- definitely not. However, considering the project itself, the amount of work i put it and the grades of my other peers, I feel i deserved a higher grade. For context this group project was to create a business plan for an imaginary company. Despite my class belong filled with seniors (Most of whom were put in this class to fill up their schedules since nobody wanted to take this class) I was made to be captain and that meant i could choose my group members. The few other students in my class that i knew would actually work were also selected to be captains- this meant i had to pick people who i knew would not do any work. This led to me essentially having to do the whole project bymyself. Come presentation day, it’s painfully clear that i was the only one that knew what i was talking about and the only one that did any work. Even the teacher remarked on it. However, he complicated my project and had little to no criticism for it. Yet i recived the same garde as my group members- while other groups in my class who had projects that the teacher criticized far more received higher grades. I feel this isn’t fair and I should receive the grade i worked for- especially since this project was worth a midterm grade. I feel hesitant to ask my teacher though, because I made the choice to select these people and this is not the first time i’ve asked him to changed my grade over a similar situation. So WIBTA?",,1,1,1.0
393,streamnickiminai,AITA for talking back to my mom?,"hello. i am 16 male and i need opinions. 

my mom and i have always had a great relationship, but recently its starting to get rocky. during our conversations, i often feel she is rude or just not listening to me. in almost all of our coversations, she tells me to shut up, even when i feel its important. i admit, i dont process some things quickly but i find that to be a learning process. in these moments, she yells at me, calling me names with the most frequent ones being stupid idiot, dumba**, f***ing idiot, etc. 

its so draining. i feel like she does it for sport with how often it happens, even when its not in those previous situations. like she doesnt like or appreaciate me.

and the thing is i really try my best to help her a lot. i helped her cook 2 thanksgiving dinners, and also helped on christmas day. there are times where i stop what im doing to go find her phone or get her a water. even when these things are right next to her. and i literally mean right next to her.

this has been going on for the last couple of months. today however was when i talked back. it was over a singular onion. i used the onion for cooking and she saw the peels in the trash. she calls me out and tells me i used HER onion, and that i was an idiot for doing so. i told her that i used another onion, and that the other one was still in the fridge. she lost it, started yelling at me to shut up and said ""who do you think you are to be talking back to me"". she yelled some more, told me to go to my room, and did the things moms do which is going on and on about what just happened.

her christmas gift comes tomorrow, but i honestly want to return it. i just feel she has been so rude to me a lot more than usual, and its starting to hurt even more. i cant take it much longer. i feel like ta for talking back and maybe doing stupid crap sometimes, but i dont know.",,1,1,1.0
394,The_HouseHippo,AITA co-worker spoils game I'm playing (no spoilers),"Some context, I work in a small bakery with a few others. my one co-worker knows I can hear him from my station in the bakery. the same co-worker knows I'm playing a certain game for the first time and was told literally moments before to not spoil the game. Not even a minute later he proceeds to discuss a MAJOR spoiler death in said game, and I can clearly hear him and I mention it. He barely apologizes as I didn't even hear him cause a moment later I was discussing him spoiling it and mentioned he could at least apologize for spoiling it to which he responded with ""I did apologize but I'm not going to gravel for it either"". To which I'm thinking, no you don't but a little more sympathy in your apology would be nice, and now a week later I can't look at or listen to him without feeling mad because he 

1 - clearly knew i was playing the game for the first time

2 - knew i can hear him from where i was because I have mentioned it multiple times before 

3 - was told no spoilers right before he did spoiled it

4 - didn't seem to really care he spoiled a major event in the game and acts like nothing happened

 Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
395,C0feeAdd1ct,AITA for telling my boyfriend not to pay his kids travel expenses to see their grandparents from their mom side,"I am an independent, divorced woman with 4 kids, and two are living with me.  I don’t received any spousal or child support (we agreed not to pursue this and split everything 50-50). My boyfriend has three kids and he’s technically has full custody on his three kids, even though their decree says shared custody. The kids mom left him and her kids to be with another man, which whom she just had a baby with. Every time holiday season coming up, the topic of kids spending time with their grandparents from their mother side always comes up. The kids’ mother and their grandparents always complaining they never be able to spend time with them. My boyfriend feels that it his responsibility to make sure the kids able to spend time with their grandparents from their mom side, this includes the travel cost. But, I do feel that it supposed to be the kids mom or grandparents responsibility to pay for the travel. AITA on this?",,1,1,1.0
396,Old_Run_8198,AITA for smoking weed with my friends in a shared kitchen space when I thought the building was empty?,"So, I'm a college student living in a dorm with a kitchen that;s shared among like 25 people. Everyone received a group text from some girl on the floor saying that she was recovering from a respiratory condition and needed the windows to be opened if anyone was going to be cooking. I thought it was a bit weird that someone would get sick just from the smell of cooking, but I didn't mind popping the window during the semester.

I got back from winter break early and decided to invite some of my high school friends over, since the campus was basically deserted. We decided to hang out and smoke some weed in the kitchen. I had read the text message, but I didn't think anyone would be there since most people had gone home for the break.

We hot-boxed the kitchen and I was taking a huge bong hit when the girl ended up walking in. I didn't see her come in because my eyes were closed, and I blew the smoke directly in her face. She shouted something and ran out of the kitchen, and my friends and I couldn't help but laugh because in honesty the situation was hilarious.

It turns out that the girl had stayed in the dorm over break and we had no idea. When we found out what had happened, my friends packed up and left, which bummed me out. I was later contacted and told that I'm placed on leave from school for violating the rules. I get that I broke the rules, but I don't think it was a big deal and I'm pissed with the girl for basically tattling on me like we're in middle school. I had knowledge of the girl's respiratory condition before smoking, but I didn't mean to blow smoke in her face. I don't think the punishment fits the crime.

TL;DR: Smoked up in the kitchen at my dorm and blew smoke in the face of a sensitive girl. She tattled on me and now I've been placed on leave from college.",,1,1,1.0
399,Firm-Ice5017,AITA for calling out my boyfriend’s privilege?,"Hi all. I made a post recently about how my boyfriend has recently found a lot of financial success and ever since, he started bragging about how much money he has, his pay, etc. he also comes from a wealthy background. He’s also recently said things to me like “it’s just money” when I broke my phone and claimed that $700 was petty change. He’s also called me sheltered when he grew up way wealthier than me. He can be somewhat self righteous. We were watching a TV show and he started saying how he hates rich people. He then said “well, I guess I’m pretty rich.” I hadn’t slept in 24 hours due to travelling and felt frustrated by his comment and didn’t have my head in straight. I laughed and said yeah haha you shouldn’t judge people due to financial status, when you have X much money. “He then said how do you know how much I have in the bank? “ to which I responded with “you tell me every day.” I felt terrible after saying this and realized I over stepped and apologized immediately. I guess it was just a build up of hearing him brag about how much is in his bank combined with complete exhaustion. He started to get really sad and realized he had been bragging so much . I feel terrible, how bad did I mess up?",,1,1,1.0
400,rorypotter77,AITA for skipping my cousin’s rehearsal dinner for a concert?,"My twin sister and I (34f) were asked to be bridesmaids in our cousin’s (32f) wedding (“A”). This came somewhat out of the blue. We grew up in a different state from A and saw her maybe once a year until we went to college and then lost touch with her for about 10 years. She attended my sister’s wedding, but by the time I got married, she had moved to a further away state and couldn’t make it to my wedding. We reconnected when her father passed away and agreed we should all attempt to remain more in touch. But in all honesty, we don’t even know each other. 

So when A asked us to be bridesmaids in her wedding, we were flattered but a little confused. I wanted to ask about the expected commitment since we both have kids and live a 3 hour plane ride away, but my sister was worried it would sound rude and dismissive and that she probably just really wants to make an effort to have a relationship with us. So we said yes. 

Meanwhile, my good friend who lives in the same state as A was able to get Taylor Swift tickets. I was ecstatic, never having seen her perform. She invited me and my sister, and I thought it would make a great girls weekend. Some time later when she sent the tickets, I realized the concert was the night before the wedding. My first thought was how coincidental and lucky it was because it’s only about an hour drive from the venue and now we will only have to buy plane tickets once and go to both events. I didn’t think it would be a huge deal to miss the rehearsal dinner- for my wedding half the party couldn’t make it to the rehearsal due to work or kids, and I didn’t think twice about it. All you do is learn the order and are told to walk slow. 

We called A to apologize to her for our oversight and let her know that we couldn’t make the dinner, and she flipped out. She said it was required for the wedding party and not acceptable to miss. We have to be there “no questions asked.” Additionally, we learned the rehearsal will actually be the morning before (not conflicting with the concert, just the dinner that night), and the only plane tickets we could get would require us to take a 3rd day off of work to get there in time. So after thinking about it, we both decided to drop out of the wedding party since we can’t take the extra time off work, and the rehearsal and dinner are requirements. When my sister called to tell her, A hung up on her. I was sick with the flu so sent her a text saying that I was really sorry and hope that we can support her as guests, but she never responded. 

After, A called my mom to complain about what we did. My mom told us that she was disappointed in our actions and she thought she and our dad raised us better than that. A also called another aunt and said that we cursed her out, which is entirely untrue. At this point we had to drop out anyway because we couldn’t take the extra time off work to make the morning rehearsal. She hasn’t spoken to us since. Are we the AHs?",,1,1,1.0
401,laurab1231,AITA for sharing private conversation with son's gf parents?,"On mobile, apologies for formating.


My son (15) has a gf (15) but occasionally he shares their texting communications with me for emotional support. In the most recent issue, she texted him 'breaking up with him' saying she's sorry but she can't continue in their relationship, she will always love him.... 10 mins later she texts lol just kidding, her friend put her up to it and spams 10-15 gifs rotating themes of apologies, angry emoji, rolling eyes, miss you. Just real head somersaults. He shared this with me incl screenshot as he was hurt and couldn't understand what was happening.


I text her and shared the screenshots and asked for an explanation, saying this was manipulative, gaslighting, cruel and harmful abuse. She replied saying she was told to do it. Unhappy with this I invited her parents and both kids into a group message with all the communications but her parents were pissed at me for making accusations against their daughter and saying my son has at times also been hateful. (He worships the ground she walks on so I'll have to take their word).


I feel like I might have overstepped here and maybe I do owe an apology for using triggering words eg abusive, gaslighting, manipulation towards a child. At the same time I want to protect him from the confidence destroying behaviours from her and her family. 


AITA?",,1,1,1.0
403,Zealousideal-Two5380,AITA for wanting to go to my dream medical school?,"I am a 23F currently on a break from studying medicine. I just graduated from my premed last year and decided to proceed to medicine. I applied to three universities. One was my dream school located in a different city far from me. The other two were excellent universities in my current city. One of these two unis (lets call this uni: East U) near me was more well-known and has an excellent standing in the board exams. 

My parents wanted me to go to East U because it was near and has a more affordable tuition. Plus, the familiarity of the environment so there would be less adjustment on my part. However, I already had my eyes set on my dream uni for medicine even before I graduated last year. My dream uni is also an excellent medical school with a stellar reputation in my country but the downside is it is far and the tuition is very expensive. Early on, I cleared it to my parents that my top priority is my dream uni and East U is second. Turns out, I got accepted in both universities. That did not matter tho, because my parents made me go to East U and I had no choice since they were financing my education. I cried but it doesnt matter.

The semester started and things were fine at the start. My grades were okay. I was not stellar but I was not at the bottom. I socialized with friends and new classmates, tried joining orgs but during that time, I kinda fell into depression. Idk y but this was different than having a hard time to adjust. I enjoyed learning but eventually, I found myself suddenly crying at times for no reason before opening a book. I kept feeling regrets and disconnected from my current situation at school. I shouldve been happy bc I was finally in medschool but I wasnt. 

So here I am, i took a leave of absence in the meantime while i sort myself. I am at a crossroads now and Ive been seeing a psychiatrist since november last year. I still want to try again in my dream medical school. But my parents are not supportive of it. We have enough in terms of finances and there is a scholarship that I can take to lessen the financial burden.",,1,1,1.0
407,Firm-Ice5017,AITA for calling out my boyfriend?,"Hi all. I made a post recently about how my boyfriend has recently found a lot of financial success and ever since, he started bragging about how much money he has, his pay, etc. he also comes from a wealthy background. He can be somewhat self righteous. We were watching a TV show and he started saying how he hates rich people. He then said “well, I guess I’m pretty rich.” I hadn’t slept in 24 hours due to travelling and felt frustrated by his comment and didn’t have my head in straight. I laughed and said yeah haha you shouldn’t judge people due to financial status, when you have X much money. “He then said how do you know how much I have in the bank? “ to which I responded with “you tell me every day.” I felt terrible after saying this and realized I over stepped and apologized immediately. I guess it was just a build up of hearing him brag about how much is in his bank combined with complete exhaustion. He started to get really sad and realized he had been bragging so much . I feel terrible, how bad did I mess up?",,1,1,1.0
408,OutbackBlaze,AITA if i report my manager,"I found the second highest manager in the store having sex with a customer.

For context i work in a large home improvement store with a nursey attached to one side. at night while closing we have to lock the doors out to nursery. This night i was tasked with checking the nursery for customers still out there. I walked down the middle aisle with aisles on wither side of yelling out to anyone who may still be out there. no one responded so i kept walking in case no one heard me. i reached the back wall and looked down the aisles to see my manager lets call him Gary, with his pants around his ankles with 2 other guys with him (Gary is openly gay) 1 of the guys bent over the shelf with his pants around his ankles another watching. as i turned the corner the  random guys saw me and ran, i walked away without saying anything but Gary followed me. he tried to have a normal conversation with me but was interrupted by another employee so I left and went home. i have a couple options but none sit right with me I could

A- do absolutely nothing and keep it with myself (this doesn't sit right with me)

B- report it to the top managers or head office and potential ruin his career( this could also ruin my career as Gary has access to the cameras and i have no evidence so it could look like I made up a serious rumour) 

C- blackmail him to giving me the extra hours I've been asking for.

am i the asshole if i do anything but A?",,1,1,1.0
410,Permission_Loose44,AITA for nagging my mother about international trips?,"My mother decided that instead of giving gifts for birthdays and Christmas she would treat me and my sister (25F) to an international trip twice a year. Since I was 15 that was the norm for years. When Covid hit obviously those trips slowed down to a halt. 

After going to Mexico 8 times in the last few years, I’m over it. I’ve been begging for my mother to book a trip to literally anywhere outside of North America, but she’s been procrastinating for whatever reason and spending the money on herself. I have offered to pay for myself 100% so she only has to pay for my sister (who is financially dependent on her), but she says that’s not the problem. I ask her to plan something almost once a week and she never does. It’s become a big issue within the family and we argue about it a lot. 

I am aware how privileged this sounds but I look forward to these trips with my family. My mother is very type A and HAS to plan everything for these trips or she won’t be happy. AITA for not dropping the issue? 

TLDR: Mom won’t plan family vacation despite me asking her to all the time. Money isn’t the problem but AITA for not letting it go?",,1,1,1.0
411,LemonRoll_Rabbit,AITA for ignoring her and not explaining why?,"M friend let me down big time, the friendship was feeling like it was on its way out (on her side) for 2-3 years now. 
I did all I could to keep in contact, check in on her, ask about her work, family, life, try to meet up etc. She seemed to be pretty happy to talk about herself, but without fail neglected to ever ask about me, or show an interest when I tried to tell her things that were happening in my life. 

It was hard to let go of such a long/close friendship. And I did try to talk to her about this, during a conversation I checked things were ok with her and with us, and essentially told her things were feeling one sided and that I needed a little more from her, she agreed...nothing changed. 

I basically stopped trying and she didn't reach out. 

I then ended up having something extremely traumatic happen to me, she used to be someone I would go to (vice versa in the past)  so she was one of the first people I thought about and seeked support from, she responded very politely, but that was it, she didn't contact me after that or check in. 

For me that was the very end, I guessed it was a long time coming, but I couldn't let go, despite it neing clear it was over long ago for her. 
I didn't attempt to speak to her again (it's now been 8 months) 
I didn't want her in any part of my life, I didn't want her to have access to mine, so I deleted her from all social media (deleted not blocked) 

It seems to have taken her 2 months to even notice I did that, and she reached out, essentially saying she noticed I deleted her and asking if she did anything wrong. For me it seems pretty obvious why I removed her. She reached out once more, I've not even read it.


Basically is it an AH move to give her no explanation???",,1,1,1.0
414,Deep_Reveal9279,AITAH for leaving my cousins bowling tournament early,"I (14)f and my cousin (15)m have always been really close. We’ve always been the two cousins that always bonded.

My aunt (47)f came to my house to drop off her dog so she could go to my cousins bowling tournament. And she had one of me and my cousin’s friend will call her T (15)f she wasn’t really the best person she would talk badly about you to your face and behind your back but anyway, 

My aunt had T with her so I decided to go along so T wasn’t by herself and I had to work at 4 o’clock. The tournament was supposed to start at 11 so I had enough time well the tournament actually started at 12:30 so I was going to be late, so I asked my aunt to drop me off at 3 so she wouldn’t have to miss the whole tournament. She ended up getting mad at me and making a big deal about it but what can I do? I had work then I saw my aunt texting my mom and I knew I was gonna be in trouble when I got home but I went home got ready for work and then later on, I get a big paragraph from my cousin explaining on how I’m such an asshole and don’t care about my family and that I’m a brat but when I explained it to my mom, she said I did the reasonable thing. AITAH?",,1,1,1.0
415,AstronomerPresent353,AITA for telling my mom she’s the reason fat people hate themselves?,"Hello. Just for some context I (23F) am overweight, 5’0 and 380lbs. My doctor said for somebody of my size I am healthy and that unless I want to lose weight, I can’t make myself any better than I am right now. I had a few scares a few years ago but I don’t have diabetes, heart problems etc

I also run a tiktok page with my boyfriend (32M) where I show off my body to promote that health can come at any size. I also model on there sometimes but it’s mostly debunking misinformation about being overweight and showing that being fat is okay

About a month ago, my mom (50F) found this page. She rung me and told me that I need to lose weight immediately, and that I will die if I don’t. She told me that she can’t enable me anymore and that she won’t speak to me unless I’m a normal weight and break it off with my boyfriend (she thinks he’s enabling me but that’s a whole different story good lord). I didn’t speak with her after this

But she sent me information details to a weight watchers account on Christmas and she said it was my present. She paid for a trial for me and told me to just “give it a go” and if I don’t like it then I don’t have to lose any weight. I was so annoyed at this point and I told her that her attitude is what gets fat people to hate themselves because they believe they’re not good enough 

She told me that I was being a disrespectful brat and that she didn’t raise me this way. She told me that she can’t speak me with anymore because she just gets angry. AITA? Maybe I could’ve phrased it in a nicer way and I feel really bad that I am hurting our relationship, but it is also not my fault that she is being fed misinformation about my weight",,1,1,1.0
416,AlexDoesRedditYT,AITA for being mad that my friend tried to kill me?,"So I met my friend ,let’s call him Bill, when we both started secondary school (we’re from the UK) and we have been friends for a long time.

We got into a pretty heated debate the other day about whether Hitler was a bad guy. He defended him so passionately that I started to question if he was a N*zi. 

Anyways, I kept insisting that he was wrong and that Hitler was indeed a bad guy. Then he burned my house down and tried to kill me. 

After that I got mad at him and said he was being mean.

He called me an asshole. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
417,blueunicorns777,AITA for putting up wet clothes on my balcony that sometimes drips water on the street?,"I have a clothing line on my balcony, and sometimes my washing machine leaves my clothes wetter than usual, so when I put them up, the clothes drip water and on to the street. My neighbour who lives right below me absolutely hates me for this. It only happens maybe like once every 4 months. So I apologise hoping she can just move on. But she calls me screaming and insulting me each time, telling me she'll report me to the police or something. Is it really that bad? It's not falling on to her house or anything, it's right in the street. She claims it's slippery and dangerous but I don't understand, it's the same thing if it rains.",,1,1,1.0
418,EducationSeveral3172,AITA for refusing to see my Grandmother?,"My (22F) grandmother (74F) don’t speak to each other. It all started earlier this summer when her and my mother had a falling out that doesn’t involve me. On the day of my birthday my grandmother refused to call me even though I remember to call her for her birthday every year. It really hurt me, especially because I’ve never felt my grandmothers love.

When my mother was pregnant with me she told her to get an abortion as having a child out of wedlock was embarrassing to her. When I was a toddler my grandmother was watching me while my mother was at work and when I broke my arm playing outside while she was inside ignoring me she refused to treat my injury or call and ambulance or take me to see a doctor until my mom came back to pick me up. My mother was offered to sue her for negligence but never did because after all she is her mother.

My grandmother a few years later always criticized me and made me feel shameful of my appearance always calling me fat or wondering why I never wear make up.

I feel like she is always jealous. When I was 20 I bought a new car and she immediately became upset with me because I never offered to take her to the Casino or for her to run errands. Keep in mind I do work full time and go to college full time. Every time my immediate family and I take a trip she always talks bad about us or tells the extended family we are probably lying about where we are at or making everything up.

She always puts the family against each other and likes to cause drama. She will make people believe you said things about them or did things when it’s not true at all. She also made me feel bad about not graduating this year from college even though I had to take two years off school to help my immediate family recover from a financial trouble. 

Well I finally had it when my grandmother refused to call me on my birthday even though I didn’t do anything. I decided enough was enough and that it was time that I cut all relationship with my grandmother since she clearly doesn’t love me and takes preference with her other grandchildren.

My grandmother to this day still hasn’t spoken to me but come Christmas 2022 she told my mom to tell me that she had a Christmas present for me. I told my mom that I didn’t want her Christmas present nor was I going to visit my grandma. I want nothing to do with her since she obviously doesn’t love me. My mom told me she completely understood me after the way my grandmother has been treating me.

My grandmother like usual decided to start drama and say that she was left crying because I ruined Christmas by refusing her gift (which was just cash) and decided not to visit her and not bringing her a Christmas present like I always have in the past. So, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
419,Vienna_Gambit,AITA for walking in front of a tour group without saying excuse me?,"I’m in Lisbon on holiday and there was a Spanish guide giving a large group a tour. The problem was he was doing this on a public sidewalk and there was no way to walk by without walking in between the guide and the group. We (group of 4) walked by quickly without saying anything, and he says in Spanish to the crowd “and here are some Americans walking by without saying excuse me.” Everyone started to giggle. I thought that was rude and really thought, if anything, that he should be saying excuse me for obstructing a public crosswalk. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
420,ProjectDirectory,AITA My wife doesn't want to talk in bed after 9:30pm,"My wife wants to go to bed at 8:00 every night, but not talk in bed past 9:30. I'm fine with this, if I want to talk after 9:30 I keep it to myself. 

The problem is when she wants to talk after 9:30. She will talk to me and I'll respond, we will have a short conversation and then say go night again. No problem, right?  No, apparently this is wrong in her book. What I need to do according to her is tell her that it's past 9:30 and remind her that she needs her sleep.

I see this as a complete violation of the boundaries that should be in place between what is and isn't my responsibility. She thinks I'm an asshole for not telling her to be quiet and go to sleep.

AITAH?",,1,1,1.0
422,Harlequin-Harlot,AITA for asking my bf for an open relationship?,"for staters I love my bf a lot and would like to stay with him ideally.

we had a great relationship to start with when we could meet up IRL and everything was going well. but then I had to move countries due to my family circumstance and our relationship drastically changed as we could no longer spend time together in person.

we have both been trying to keep our relationship going despite it becoming long distance, but I am struggling with the lack of physical contact and he agrees that things are not good between us now. I thought the best way to keep our relationship going would be for us both to have physical contact with others and make each other our emotional connection.

but when I raised that point with my bf he rejected it and accused me of cheating, I have never cheated but I still feel I kneed more then what he can offer me",,1,1,1.0
423,StealerOfUnderwear,AITA for borrowing my husbands underwear?,"So I (28f) am about 7-8 months pregnant and while I've thankfully not gained a lot of weight, my belly has grown a lot and I find that most of my underwear is too small and cuts into my sides/bottom of my belly. After a while I started getting a rash in the places where it was too tight due to friction I guess.

So one day I was getting dressed and I was getting frustrated about the rash and the underwear being too small, so I figured I'd try on a pair of my husbands (29m) boxers. They're size L and too big for me, but OMG it was the most comfortable thing I've ever tried on in my life. Breezy and loose and even the places where I had the rash didn't hurt. My husband had already left for work for the day, so I decided to just borrow them.

At the end of the day we both come home and I tell him that I borrowed his underwear and asked if it was okay to continue borrowing some until the baby comes (less than 2 months left) or at least until the rash is better. He seemed a bit weirded out but said it was okay.

Fast forward a few days and we're going to bed and he flips out at me and asks me why I'm wearing his ""good"" bamboo underwear. I'm confused, but he points at the band where it says bamboo. Then he goes on a long rant about how his few pairs of bamboo underwear are the comfiest and best quality etc etc (I swear this is not an ad for bamboo underwear). I apologized and said I just picked the pair off the top just like I did the other times, but he was upset and said I wasn't allowed to borrow his underwear anymore.

I said I wouldn't borrow the ones that said bamboo on them since it bothered him, but he just drew a hard line saying I should go buy bigger underwear for myself and stop stealing his.

Now, I'm thinking this is probably more about how he actually doesn't want me to borrow his underwear, and he's using me accidentally taking the ""wrong"" pair as an excuse, but I'm not sure.

While I can understand not wanting to share your underwear, I also think it's unneccesary to go out and buy a bunch of large pairs of womens underwear that will be used for maybe 2 months at most. I also think it shouldn't be that big of a deal since I'm the one who washes and folds his underwear anyway, and he has about a hundred pairs, so it's not like he'll run out of them. 

And I also kinda feel like since I work full time, buy all groceries, cook and clean ON TOP OF CARRYING OUR BABY (with everything that includes such as physical changes to my body) him having to lend me his underwear is a small price to pay to help out with the pregnancy.

I also bought him 8 more pairs of bamboo underwear as an apology but he still doesn't seem to want to share his regular pairs with me. Maybe I should've been petty and bought them for myself instead. Hehe.

So anyway reddit, AITA for thinking my husband should let me borrow his underwear? Or am I just entitled?",,1,1,1.0
428,FiveWay10000,AITA My parents drive with my brother (20M) everywhere and direct his every move.,"My (25F) brother (20M) got his license a year ago, and has obviously been learning to drive for a while before that. When he entered college, his first semester went online due to COVID, so he didn't drive to school then.

The next two semesters that went in-person, our mom and dad sat in the back while he drove to his school, they drove the car back home, came back to pick him up, and he drove them all back home. They've done this 3-5x/week for the past year, and it's still up in the air whether he'll drive to school this spring semester by himself.

I find it all ridiculous and way overbearing. My brother is more than competent to drive by himself, but they still don't let him go to the store down the street by himself, let alone 30 minutes away on the highway to his school.

The other day, I visited home and my brother drove us all to a restaurant. And it's worse than I thought: they make constant comments on his driving (""Stop sign here""/""Watch out for this truck""/""Stay in your left lane""), decide for him the easiest routes to take, jump at the slightest startle, all while my brother has a death drip on 9 and 3. 

I'm not even going to bother trying to convince them that they should let him drive everywhere by himself from now on, because they'd never budge, but I said to them in private that they should stop making so many anxious directions while they're driving with him. For example, don't tell him to slow down in this turn; let him see for himself that he took it too fast, and he can trust himself to correct it next time.

They didn't budge, and they were upset the more I insisted. They said they need to give instruction because that's what they're in the car for (how much more instruction does he need?!) and they want him safe (though it looks to me they're coddling him and leaving him more nervous and unconfident on the road). 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
429,Existing_Wrangler453,AITA for not liking how I’ve been treated,Okay Reddit I’ve got no where to turn for this one and I really need advice before I stay with this guy. A bit of a back ground. I(18f) have been with my boyfriend (18m) for almost two years now. He’s overall a great guy but he does come with a few issues. Those being his friends. It used to not bug me that my boyfriend would ditch me to be with them but he has now gotten to the point where he’s been lying saying he’s with his family when he is with them. The part that breaks my heart the most is the lying. I understand wanting to hang out with them but not lying to me saying your with family. Now here’s where I may be the a-hole. I found out after he left my house from only watching half of my teams football game (he claimed a family emergency) he ended up leaving my house to go meet up with them. Through. His. Moms. Facebook.  I messaged him basically saying “Please be honest. I already know the truth but why did you have to lie”. And he hasn’t opened yet. He does this a few times a month but the rest of the time he’s amazing he’s caring and loving but than he pulls these stunts.  I feel like I am third wheeling in my own relationship somedays and it’s really starting to make me wonder if I can stay in a relationship where he’s dating his friends more than me. I just need to know where to go from here. I don’t want to leave him because I do actually love him but I can’t stand his friends and I think he’s starting to choose them over me.,,1,1,1.0
431,mettapavia,AITA for talking to a guy I know wants nothing to do with me?,I’ve been hooking up with this guy for 2 year and developed some feelings for him. He’s kinda made it clear he only wants it to be friends with benefits. Which I let go because I just want him. I feel that it makes me a jerk for putting myself through this constantly I’m always thinking about how I want more but I still go through with late night booty calls. So AITA?,,1,1,1.0
432,throwaway12093847560,WIBTA If I left my friend alone in our accomodation in a foreign country?,"Lss, my friend and I (both 18) are travelling through Europe for a couple months. I am extremely privileged in the fact that I am already well travelled by this age, but my friend has never left the country. Her family made me promise, due to this fact, that I wouldn’t leave her on her own. 

We are 3 weeks in and she is feeling a lot of anxiety about being away from her Mum. I have tried to accomodate her to help her through this as much as possible: sitting in the bathroom while they face time, not going out some days, doing activities that would make her feel better etc. It is the least I can do and I’d do it 100 times over. 

However, with her anxiety she gets stomach aches and doesn’t want to eat- this is mostly at night. I have anorexia, and was only allowed on this trip through months of following my meal plan, meeting with my therapist, and reaching a certain weight. If I don’t gain enough weight or even lose it while I’m away, I have to go back into inpatient and will miss out on my first year at University- so a lot is riding on my health. She is aware of all of this. 

The problem is she doesn’t want to leave the accommodation at night because of her anxiety, but doesn’t want me leaving either. For the past week, we haven’t eaten any dinner. The last couple days I have bought snacks etc. to eat at night (no cooking facilities- in cheap motels rather than hostels), but it doesn’t meet my meal plan. It’s also hard for me to eat this way, as it’s often fatty food that fills me up after a couple of bites. 

I am also vegetarian, so my meal plan includes a lot of dairy for protein, which is unable to be kept good in our accommodation. I am also skipping other meals/eating them later than I should be, to try and accommodate her and help her feel as good as possible- but I really can’t skip dinner. 

I’m sure there’s another solution, but in my head I need to leave and actually eat a fulfilling dinner each night. I tried to bring it up with her last night and she started crying. She’s scared to be left on her own, especially at night, but refuses to come with me. I heard her talking to her Mum on the phone about it, and her Mum wasn’t impressed by the fact that I asked her, let alone want to leave her on her own. 

WIBTA if I left anyway, and ate something more substantial that keeps me on track better?",,1,1,1.0
434,Smooth_Positive361,AITA for taking my own food to a meal,"My mother, with whom I have a keep at arms length/maintain my boundaries with relationship, has messaged me asking me to attend a meal for her 60th birthday at a local pub. 

She did not message me to wish me a happy Christmas or a happy new year, just fyi. 

She has chosen this location as apparently its my nephew (her grandchild's) favourite place to go eat, I know for a fact my nephew's favourite place to eat is a restaurant a less than five minute walk away. I know it's been chosen because she knows the owner and it's a real ale pub

I am vegan and disabled (mobility - I can't use stairs without being in sevre pain and discomfort) 

The venue is one I don't visit as it does not have step free access. 

She messaged me telling me she knows the location as a 'limited vegan option' and we need to book in advance. I check the menu and the only vegan option is a jacket potato with baked beans, or a vegan made chili. Without tmi, I can't eat chili as it doesn't agree with me, leaving me with the jacket potato with beans as the only option. 

Here's where it gets tricky; a little bit of back story. My parents are divorced - I was 2 and lived with my Dad who remarried. My step Mum wasn't the nicest and it has left me with some trauma. One thing is with food. I was told what's on your plate is what you'll eat. If you don't eat it youll go without and not eat, if I was slow to eat I'd have my plate taken from me and the food binned, if I didn't clear my plate due to a disliking I would be hit. I was not allowed snacks and even drinks were restricted to meal times. One of the foods we often had (at least twice a week) was baked beans. Meals would often be things like cheap sausages and beans, or cheap burger patty and beans. That kind of thing. So now as an adult I can't eat them, it's a trauma thing I know and I am in therapy for childhood trauma manifesting as an adult , but the thought of having to eat them makes me feel like I'm being force fed and makes me feel like I'm going to throw up with nerves. 

I asked my mother as she's booking to ask what vegan options can be available explaining I don't want beans because of what the way they are a trigger for me: she refused saying 'If you don’t mind could you discuss it with them.  I wouldn’t want to get it wrong I know how much it means to you' aka no. 

I don't understand why if she knows veganism is important to me why she can't make an effort to find a location thats more vegan friendly and has more than one option. 

And more importantly why hasn't she chosen a venue that's more accessible? I don't drive and the venue is a long walk from any public transport. I know there will be no offer of a lift. 

In the end I've ordered a plain jacket potato because it's the only thing I can eat. And I'll supply my own toppings 



Tldr: AITA for not eating on menu and taking my own food? I just feel if I was really wanted to/me there she would have chosen an accessible venue that offers vegan options .",,1,1,1.0
436,OutbackBlaze,AITA if I report my manager for indecent exposure,"I found the second highest in charge at my store having sex with a customer in the store.

For context I work in a big home improvement store with a nursery attached to one side. At night when closing we have to lock the doors attached to nursery. one of the parts of closing is checking nursery for any customers that are still hiding in the store. this night I was tasked with doing just that. I walked down the middle aisle with other aisles branching of on either side of me yelling out to see if anyone responds. no one does so I keep walking just to check if people didn't hear me. I reached the back wall to find my manager lets call him Gary with his pants around his ankles with 2 random guys (Gary is openly gay) one also with his pants around his ankles bent over the shelf and the other watching. The guy bent over noticed me and ran as well as the guy watching. at this point i had turned and started walking away. Gary then ran up to me after pulling up his pants and started having a normal chat to me like nothing had every happened.  I ended up just walking away and go home but now I'm stuck with a bit of an ethical dilemma do I

A- say nothing  and just let it be

B- report it to the top manager and either ruin his career or ruin mine if there isn't evidence as he has access to the cameras

C- blackmail him to get more hours which I've been denied due to not having money in the budget for it",,1,1,1.0
438,NotTheRealBritishane,AITA for not wanting to change my shirt?,"So I was getting ready to go to school after i took a shower. I wanted to be formal so i chose a white shirt with a collar neck, pants with inbuilt rips, and some marvel shoes. When we were leaving my mom wanted me to change my shirt because 1, she didn't like it and 2, its color is fading out (I don't see the fading) and i said no and she kept demanding i changed it and i said no. In the car she went on about how i wanted to look like shit and i told her ""I'm not letting you control what i wear."" And she said ""Yea i am because i bought the clothes.""
AITA for not wanting to switch shirts?
Also for context no it wasnt a dirty shirt it was but in the wash not too long ago, and it's not new but it looks more formal to me.",,1,1,1.0
439,acfd94,WIBTA for asking my neighbor to stop using incense i’m allergic to?,"I (28 F) have always been allergic to dust and some scents.

Normally the scent would just make me sneeze like crazy. My nose gets congested and i have trouble breathing, which can lead to a headache.

But in the last years my allergy is becoming worse and on top of all that I also feel my skin get ichy (my arms, my legs, my back and specially my face and head).

This is why i don’t use perfume, body and hair products with strong scents and even some specific cleaning products. And since i know what to avoid, the allergy doesn’t bother me that much.

And that bring us to the problem. I live in an apartment, and a couple months ago i started to itch at random times. I then noticed a very strong floral sweet scent in the air when that happened. Finally, i realized the scent is from incense, that the person that lives in the apartment right below mine is using. They leave the window open and the scent ends up coming through my open window.

In the beginning it was something really sporadic so i was annoyed but didn’t think much about it. But now it’s happening almost daily and multiple times a day!!!

And the thing is: i never know when it’s gonna happen, so i can’t close my window beforehand. And i do close my window after i realize the scent is in my room, but by then i’m already itchy and sometimes sneezing (and i stay like that for hours after!). And since i just closed off the window it takes ages for the scent to dissipate.

I work from home, so it’s not like i can escape this environment. I’m in my room 90% of my time, and i can’t just stay 24/7 with my windows closed because it’s not healthy for someone that have allergies (or for anyone for that matter!), the air needs to stay as fresh as possible…

So i have an impasse here. Because i know this person is in their apartment and is free to do whatever they want and i can’t demand they stop using incense. But i’m ALSO in my apartment and it doesn’t feel right that i’m forced to feel unwell every single day for something i can’t control.

It’s making me miserable and desperate and I don’t know what to do.

I’m thinking about talking to the neighbor (i’ve never seen or talked to them before) if they could please stop using the incense or at least leaving it far from the window. But my parents and closest friends all think i shouldn’t because it’s their right to use it and i should just suck it up.

So reddit, WIBTA for asking my neighbor to stop using incense i’m allergic to?",,1,1,1.0
441,DSRela,AITA For not coming to bed when my GF asked ?,"So my(28) gf(30) and I do long distance.     
This generally involves me coming to see her 1-2 times a month & maybe her visiting me once a month, although that happens rarely.    
     
This evening as it was my last night visiting we had invited some friends & her family over for some evening cocktails & dinner, it was a great night & everything went well & everyone had fun. I had extended my stay 1 day to make this work.          
       
Due to the amount of people we had over there was a lot of cleaning up.       
           
GF said I’ll do it in the morning & went downstairs to our her bedroom. However me knowing her mom, I knew she would do it all by her self which I couldn’t let happen so I helped mom clean up & during the cleaning got in a conversation with the rest of the family. 
Unbeknownst to me GF had been messaging my phone, which was face down on the counter top, I hadn’t seen any of the messages until she rang my phone.           
That’s when it kicked off.        
she started the call by calling me a POS & saying that I didn’t care about her.       
Telling me she wanted me downstairs but now it was too late & to go F myself.   
      
I was very taken aback by this & didn’t know exactly what to do.    
I wasn’t about to go downstairs & let her abuse me like that, so I decided to continue the conversation.      
After about 10-15 minutes I thought maybe she would have had time cool off & I went down to her room, she had locked the door but was still awake as she answered as soon as I tried to open the door.      
She called me an AH again, then began messaging me saying she felt abandoned(at her own house mind you) & that she didn’t want to see me again & I could make my own way to the airport to fly home.      
I tried to ignore this & say I’m sorry I made you feel like that & apologised for not coming down sooner, but that she could not talk to me like that but I would look past it to spend the rest of the night together.    
She said this wasn’t good enough & goodbye.          
       
I am at a loss right now, AITA for not coming down to her sooner?      
We didn’t have a set bed time or spoken about ending the night early before this so I don’t know what spurred this level of reaction.  I would be very happy if she spent a long time speaking with my family so I don’t know why she would be mean to me when I take the opportunity to speak with them.       
        
AITA?",,1,1,1.0
442,joewaan,AITA for throwing up in a car I was locked inside?,"I went to a NYE party with my friends. It was on some farm in the middle of nowhere, I was drinking and my friend was DDing. They are one of my best friends and we hang out often.
An hour into the party, I went to smoke with some kids in my friends car. Friend included.
I’m only about two drinks in. For some reason, smoking absolutely fucked me up. Couldn’t move, couldn’t open my eyes type fucked up. I felt so sick and everything was spinning around me.
So, I tell my friend that I am going to sit in the car while they go back to the party so I can try and sober up. 
When my friend left, they locked the doors to the car and took their keys. They had also lost their phone, so I figured texting would be pointless (I was so gone that I could hardly look at my phone anyway)
After about 10 minutes, I tried to let another friend who came with us into the car, so that they could grab a drink. After trying to unlock it from the inside, the car alarm went off and I was still stuck inside the car as the door wouldn’t open. It only stopped when he went and got their car keys. He got his drink, and left.

I was trying to breathe. After 30 minutes, I started feeling sick, I tried to text them but it was too late. I threw up, pure liquid, into my hand at first, then my lap, and then on the door and the floor of the drivers side backseat. Five minutes after this, they came out and were understandably pissed. They gave me a pack of wipes to clean the door and carpet, and I used the whole pack trying to clean it the best I could. 

I felt bad, like really bad about it. I profusely apologized and I gave them a $50 gift card to a car detailing place to have the carpet cleaned where I puked on it. 

Here’s the issue, my friend says that this isn’t enough compensation. We had an argument a day later, they will not take responsibility for locking a drunk person in their car. Instead saying I should have came up to the front seat and that their car doesn’t even work like that, you should be able to get out from the inside.
They continued to yell at me when I said I was sorry, but you shouldn’t have locked me in. I explained I felt we were both at fault here. They demanded more money or for me to clean it myself or else our friendship was ended. They accused me of trying to guilt trip them, after I said $50 was already a lot of money and that other people (we are teenagers) probably wouldn’t have even give them any money at all to get it cleaned. They said the card was worthless to them if it didn’t get the job done.

In a situation where I wasn’t locked inside the car, i understand paying full price to get it cleaned. But I feel as if we both share some fault to it happening. I feel like I’ve already paid for more than I should have. If 50 dollars doesn’t cover it, should I pay the possibly $50 difference? should I hold my ground and let the friendship go?

TLDR: My friend locked me, drunk, inside of their car. When I couldn’t get out, I threw up. Now we are arguing over who is at fault.",,1,1,1.0
445,LiaisonLiat,AITA by telling my brothers gf to stop showering at my house?,"Moneys super tight, and she takes 30+ minute long showers. I’m the one that pays the water bill. 

I told her to go shower at her own house, I’m sick of footing the bill, and now my brothers pissed and not talking to me. 

She lives with her parents and could (and used to) shower there for free. I’m pissed.",,1,1,1.0
448,Terrible-perv,WIBTA for telling a friend that I'm done with our friendship,"So a little background about me, I am extremely introverted. I have no friends that i actually see in person. Just my fiance and their family. The only other people I see are people I work with.   


I find it extremely hard to make friends and meet new people.  


So me and friend lets call them Jeff have known each other since school, so we are talking 20+ years at this point. We were always really close and had a good friendship group at the time in the place we lived.  


Stuff happened in their life as we got older so we didn't see each other as much but still talked all the time, then I moved away for work and they just refused to talk to me any more at first I was bothered but after a little while I let it go and moved on with my life. (this was around 12 years ago). Fast forward to a couple of years ago and suddenly they make contact with me again (no explanation as to why or why they had cut off contact before)  


As I said at start of the post I struggle to make friends so I didn't want to push anything and just went with the flow. After a couple of months of talking all the time about anything and everything the reason they got in touch came out and its because they had come out as trans and they wanted to tell me and apparently I was the only person told at this point. I felt special that they would come to me to talk about something like this.   


What then happened was months and months of having to act as a therapist while they were trying to get everything sorted by a doctor and get medication and so on.  


There was never any discussion about me, how I was doing what was going on in my life. If i did try and talk about myself it was either ignored totally or just offhandedly responded to before everything changed to be about them.  


During this time I went though some major things in my life. Serious medical issues, family losses and job loss but did they care?  


Now, I understand transitioning is a massive thing and they must be going through a lot. So as i always do just sucked it up.  


Then it started to get worse where they would be mid convo with me, id say something and no reply for weeks. The reply then would be the same excuse every time about why they haven't spoken for a long time. Then they would not reply again for weeks.   


I am just at a point where I am asking myself ""why are you even trying with this person any more and should I just tell them I'm done with them""",,1,1,1.0
449,Peachesandcream469,AITA for not telling this girl her boyfriend is coming into me?,"This guy is a friend of a friend let’s call him Tom, Tom is a friend of a friend and we follow each other on Instagram.

We have never met but since we have mutual friends  and he is flying into town I agreed to meet him for drinks. He said something about going to a hotel but I made it super clear that was not happening. He later sent me some inappropriate photos to which I never replied because…I just do not like it when men do that. He regularly tags his girlfriend on instagram as they travel a lot together. I have no intention of telling her about his behavior because I don’t feel it’s my place and for all I know they have an open relationship. There is a massive age gap too of around 17 years so for all I know they even have some sugar daddy thing going on, plus my life philosophy is to just mind my business.

AITA for keeping it to myself?",,1,1,1.0
450,Emotional-Cry-3917,AITA 4 being jealous?,"I'm 27 (F) I don't have many friends. Most of my friends are ones I have made online and have met IRL. Most of my friends live in England. I live in Northern Ireland. I travel a couple of times a year to see them. 1 friend in particular who we will call Lucy for this post. Lucy has been a really really close friend for least the past 5 years. So close that I would of called her my sister as we would of told each other ANYTHING. But in the past year or so she has made other friends online too. I'm happy and stuff that she's spreading her wings. But there is one person in particular that she has got really close too. We will call her Katie for this post. Lucy has seen Katie at least 6 times in less than a year. Lucy says she only travels to see multiple friends at once. She lives just outside of London. And when I say travel it's by train. I have opened my home many times for her to visit and tour ireland. But yet she still hasn't come. The only way I can see her is spend half a month's wages to pay for plane tickets and a hotel room for gaming events. Lately she has been really off. Like it's hard to get her to talk to me as she has got so much closer to Katie. I'm being pushed to the side when someone better comes along. Yes I know I'm being jealous. But this is someone I would of deemed a sister rather than a friend. She seems not to have any intentions of coming to visit and I have mentioned to her about how she is acting lately and she gets so defensive. Especially since others have noticed how she has been distancing herself from them too. But yet again she gets defensive and says that she has just made more friends. This sort of thing happened about 2 months ago too it flared up but not as badly as this one. I tend to hold my feelings in as i dont like to be a burden and possibly upset people. She would keep asking what's wrong, eventually i opened up she'd get defensive and a fight would break out, this is why i hold my emotions in so i dont upset people. NYE we would tend to have a video call and play some online games, however she said a friend asked her out for the night so she couldn't play. For us to find out later it was Katie... shocker. The fact that shes keeping secrets just makes it feel worse, instead of her telling us she just hides it. So i spent NYE at home with my parents in tears wanting to know what i have done to make her treat me like this. A mutual friend who I know is closer to knows about the situation and of course backs her up and Katie and says that I'm jealous that she is spreading her wings. This ended in a long ranting fight via DM. He also said he wouldnt want to visit someone who gets jealous of there friends. I'll never forget that. Surely you don't throw friends away when someone better comes along. I've tried talking again to her but she's now ignoring me. I'm definitely feel like im screwed up big time by mentioning it. AITA 4 feeling this way and saying how I feel or am i losing her?",,1,1,1.0
451,Fit_Lavishness_6083,AITA for being cold to my boyfriend after he told me that he couldn’t celebrate our one year anniversary,"I (20 F) and my boyfriend (20 M) has our one year anniversary today but he called me last night and told me that he’s friend asked him to host a small party for them and their other guy friends. First he said that he didn’t know if he were going host the party but this morning he told me that he decided to do it without asking me if it was alright. So now I have to cancel the surprise I was going to give him to celebrate. This made me very upset but I have a big trouble standing up for myself and instead of saying exactly what I think, witch is that it makes me feel like me and our relationship isn’t important to him, I just unconsciously got a little bit cold in my tone. I really try to not make him feel like I’m controlling him and won’t let him meet his friends. But he noticed my coldness and is now mad at me for not letting him meet his friends. So now he doesn’t respond to my texts. I really don’t have a problem with him meeting his friends but this is our anniversary and I was looking forward to celebrate it with him. So am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
452,CosmixEntity,WIBTA if I unfollowed my grandmother on Instagram,"I was at my grandmother's house for new year when she asked me a question. 

Grandmother: Op do you have an Instagram? 

Me: Yes I do but I don't really use it

Grandmother: Could you follow me? 

I said yes but I regretted it on every social media except Facebook I am private no link to me at all and Instagram shows the names of people who follow you so my grandmother now has the name that can be traced to my Twitter that I have no family on and I'd like to keep it that way. 

So I'm looking for an unbiased option so wibta?",,1,1,1.0
453,unpopular_kpop2002,AITA if I want to eat out when my friend can't because of her ED?,"Context: my friend claims she has suffered and still suffers from an ED (b\*limia) and she has a rather difficult relationship with food. She'd fast and she'd feel bad if other people eat when she is not. 

She hasn't told me about this disorder that much, she's mentioned it to me a few times but that's all. We once went to a friend's party and we all ordered pizza for ourselves, but she didn't. She felt bad because she thought that another friend of mine hadn't ordered one, but it was the opposite and she ended up being the only one that didn't have dinner.

So from that night, I realized that she feels embarrassed when she is the only one not eating and we tried to avoid eating out from that moment. We're a group of three, so it's usually easy to organize our nights out when it's just us. But it's not always just us. There are some friends of ours that live in other cities and when they come to visit we usually go grab some pizza (we're from Italy). And this friend with the ED is usually fine with it.

A few days ago, one of our friends from Rome was visiting and she also brought her girlfriend. We were deciding where to go that night. We ended up choosing a place where you can drink and/or eat, so you DON'T HAVE TO EAT. I asked if we were supposed to eat at home and they meet there, and this one friend of mine says yes. I mean, categorically. 

Then, I asked the others if they wanted to eat out or not and they said they actually wanted to. What was I supposed to do? Not ask other people what they want to do? 

She ended up being mad at me because I asked to eat out. The point is, I'm not supposed to know because she complained about it with another friend of mine (a girl) and I got the screenshots from her. That's how I know she was mad at me. 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
457,Rhys-the-compleat,AITA for telling my coworker that she's bad at her job?,"I work in retail, have for about 8 months now and I don't wanna make this about myself but since then I've been employee of the month and promoted to a supervisor so clearly I'm doing something good, now when I first started things were so shit, the manager was a bitch and everything was just bearly hanging on, we'd always be out late and like 3 people quit. 

Now I was telling my friend all this and his gf needed a job so she applied and got the job, by now we have a new manager, he's alot better and things are getting better. 

Now I've known my friend for years and he's been with his gf for about 4 years and I've never met her till she started working here, I've been to thier house many times, she's actually quite nice and we get on, she lives nearby so I drop her off when I can, but she normally always gets put on 4 hour closing shifts, they never really give her house cos quite frankly she's bad at her job, and it's retail its not hard.

So she mainly had to tidy the isles and it's a small shop so there's not alot and we normally have a few extra people, shes not alone but I've been alone and had to do it so it's possible, she takes ages to do this and it still looks like trash when she's finished, she never does stock cos she puts it in the wrong place, she's been caught throwing stuff on the shelf, and she also just takes ages, they make her stock toilet roll cos you can't really fuck up and it takes her like 30 mins. 

She's always wandering off and going into the back, now I will admit I slack off a bit and will hang out in the staff room when not on break, but I do 9 hour or more shifts 5 days a week where as she will only do 4 hours and start at like 4pm, I've started at 7am most days, and being a supervisor and well liked I can get away with not doing work, she is diabetic tho and will often check her bloods or get sugar? Idk how it works but she seems to skip eating on purpose so she can check her bloods and she does it more times than I think you should. 

Also we do stay late sometimes and nobody wants to stay late but it happens, certainly not as bad as it used to be wed stay till 8-9 I've even had to stay to 10 just to get stuff, done now we always finish at 7 maybe 5-10 mins over unless something bad happens but she's not really needed and can go home, but she always makes a big deal about even going a bit over, even though we get paid for staying, sometimes we even finish 30 mins early and she complains cos she gets paid less. 

That's also I thing I dont understand about her, I know her and my friend live alone and times are tough so idk why she doenst work harder, yet she thinks that she's doing better than she is, and she gets upset cos she thinks everyone hates her when really we just want her to do her job so we don't have to do it for her, I'm quite lazy and this is my first actual job and I've done so well and everyone else works hard despite how crap the job is.",,1,1,1.0
460,Lanky-Major-2800,AITA for flipping out on my step mother?,"I am a 53M while my stepmother is 80F. My mother died when I was 12, and when I was 14 my father remarried. I had called her my language's version of stepmother, and recently she freaked out. She questioned, "" All these years, almost 40, you never called me mother, only stepmother"" and proceeded to yell at me. I live overseas and returned to visit them. Then, what she said truly infuriated me. ""Call me mother from now onwards. I have been your mother for 39 years, and your biological mother has been for only 12 years. I freaked out, cursed her out and then said that I was grateful that she was not my biological mother and that she would never be my mother. She proceeded to cry afterwards. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
461,According_Penalty_27,AITAH for telling my partner I don’t feel supported in our realationship,"I (26M) and my partner (29F) have been together for 5 years, living together for 3 years. 

My partner and I have a great relationship and she does all she can to make me feel supported and loved. My partner is in her final year to become an engineer. For the past 4 years I have put off entering the career I have wanted to start so I can financially support her while she finishes her studies. In no way has she asked me for this, but I know how much she wants to become an engineer and being able to support her financially and emotionally for something she is so passionate about is rewarding. The challenge for me is that she would have no way to finish her study without me working minimum 40 hours a week to make sure all the bills are paid. 

She also works when she can, she works her butt off to study and work and does what she is able to do for our relationship and finances. 

But lately as she has been getting busier she has not been able to emotionally support me as much as I may need. I have had 4 members of my family pass away in the last year and I have not been able to express the dark place I am in almost every day. 

Her grandparents are over from France for a holiday and I am from Australia and can not speak her grandparents language. Her grandfather has had serious health problems and I paid for us to go visit them before a major survey which was a success but has caused him to have a major change in character and has started to change his ability to react normally to any form of conflict. This has been very hard on my partner as they are very close. 

Today at dinner my partners mother had a slight argument with her dad (my partners sick grandfather) which resulted with him storming off. My partners mother then asked one of us to go check on him. My partner did not respond so I went and checked on him and could not understand a word he was saying.

Once we left I advised my partner I felt it was unfair I had to check on his well-being alone without her as I can’t understand him. I said to my partner I do all I can to support her yet I don’t feel like this is being reciprocated in this situation. 

She then said I was being a massive asshole for saying this as I know how hard it’s been for her to watch him be sick and refuses to speak to me about this. 

AITAH for telling her I don’t feel supported in this situation",,1,1,1.0
464,Ok-Reflection-7431,AITA for feeling unsafe in the car with my boyfriend,"My boyfriend is a generally a good driver, he likes to speed a bit, but no major issues. I do not currently drive. 

On the way back from his brother’s house, weather turned and rain got pretty bad. Visibility was limited, the car got quite shaky/slippery, not a usual feeling you’d expect on a motorway. Speed limit on this part of the motorway is 70 mph. He was doing about 75 mph. 

I mentioned to him that I feel uncomfortable and unsafe because of all of those things (I’m not usually an anxious passenger) so maybe he could slow down a little bit until the weather clears up. 

He completed ignores my suggestion, and continues to drive at the same speed, in the rain for the next half an hour, until we get off the motorway. 

I mention it again when we get back home to not cause anymore distractions in the car that I already felt uncomfortable being in. 

He’s response is that because I’m not qualified to drive I can’t have an opinion about driving or advise him on how he should be driving. I was being unreasonable and shouldn’t feel unsafe, because he had everything under control, we got back safe so there is no problem. 

From my perspective I felt uncomfortable and unsafe (I don’t think it was all that unreasonable) made him aware of it and he chose to ignore my feelings and carry on with the very thing that made me feel this way. 

I guess my question is AITA for wanting my boyfriend to slow down when I don’t feel safe?",,1,1,1.0
466,reDRamp4ge,AITA that I get frustrated that my girlfriend always misses my texts?,"So basically long story short when I text my girlfriend and a ask question and then ask another question or make a comment on something which is only about two text messages, I will get one response like either to the question or the comment it’s like she chooses one to respond to and completely disregards the other, and this morning on the way to school I called her about 3 to 4 times because she didn’t wake up when her alarm is usually set, and she ended up wake up late about 30 mins. And so last night she was texting about a family member last night and I fell asleep and then when I woke up in the morning and asked which family member was that bc she didn’t clarify who, and then I said good morning, like we always do every single morning we always say good morning to each other, so when she woke up all I got was a “my uncle” text message no good morning, no I’m sorry for missing 4 calls, no anything other than “my uncle” AITA for getting frustrated that she never fully responds to messages because it’s isn’t the first time?",,1,1,1.0
468,Throwawayayayoopsie,"AITA for telling my ex-gf her ass is hairy, she has brown skin there which is gross and her V smells very bad?","Basically as the title says.

I noticed she had a few hairs on her ass and like some oval brown colour around her ass. It isn't shit, but the skincolour.

When I went down on her, I was literally gagging since it smells bad. I tild her all of this and she told me she cleans her pussy with soap always.

She got very embarassed but I thought it was necessary to tell her, so she can do something about these stuff. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
471,Negative-Swordfish-9,WIBTA if I apply for a position my coworker needs?,"Please be completely honest with your verdicts, I really need some outside opinions. The people I have talked with told me to go for it but they're biased.

So one of my coworkers retired recently and now his position needs to be filled. Our boss wants the  applications asap. I'm on mobile so please excuse the formatting. 

I'm currently in a department where you have to do a lot of physical work and I've wanted to change departments for the last few years because I'm really unhappy where I am right now. The position that's open now is in the department where I've wanted to go, it's an office job with the same pay as I have right now but I wouldn't have to work with the same people anymore.

Normally I would've applied immediately but one of my direct coworkers (same department I am in now) had an accident and can't do physical work anymore so he would need an office job. He has already given his application for this position that I'm thinking about applying now. The thing is, he's not gonna do well in the new position if he gets it and the people of the New department know that. Since it's an office job about 95% of the work has to be done on a computer and he has absolutely no knowledge about working with computers. He can start the computer but that's about it. 

Now my problem is if I apply it's almost save I'd get the job over him but then people would think I'm the Asshole who took the only opportunity for him to stay in this company. There are no other open positions he could do because of his accident and the only chance would be to wait around 4 years when another coworker retires. But now I'm thinking maybe I should be the one to wait for a few years because while I'm unhappy in my current position I still manage to do it while he is physically unable to do so. But I really hate it where I am right now so would I be the AH if I still apply although it would mean he wouldn't get the job or should I stay put and hope he fails on his own or wait the few years for another opening?

Extra information:
I like this coworker, we are not friends but I don't hate him or anything. I do feel bad for him. 
Also we both get paid the se and it wouldn't change if any of us gets the new position. There is no raise in payment.
If you need any more Infos feel free to ask.",,1,1,1.0
472,ThrowRA_Glitter1,WIBTA if I refused to let a friend move in due to their other friendships?,"Academic year 2019-2020, whilst doing my masters degree, I (26f) lived in a flat where I was viciously bullied and gaslit. It put me in an extremely extremely dark place mentally and I am still in therapy due to this. It was mostly a group of 3, Jade (24f), Erin (25f), and Ben (28m).

I moved into the flat alongside a close friend, Jane (25f), Jane did join in with some of the bullying and did absolutely nothing to stop the rest (they were her friends). She is also somewhat romantically involved with Ben, and are a bit co-dependant. She has never apologised, and often ignores my boundary of ""I don't want to know about them, or have anything to do with them"". Jane is on the autistic spectrum which is why I don't hold it against her as much as she doesn't fully understand. I have just tried my best to avoid situations where I know she may have also invited my bullies. 

The few times I have seen them (due to Jane, or running into them) they have been foul. From that nasty giggling behind your back stuff and at things you say, to mocking my accent, and implying I have an eating disorder, etc. Considering their age it is pathetic. We all still live in the same city sadly. 

There is a housing crisis in the UK right now, and it is especially bad in my city. I am lucky and live with two others (25f and 26f) in a pretty flat in a nice neighbourhood for far below market value. 25f is moving out, we are now looking for a replacement and have been flooded with requests including from Jane.

I don't want to live with Jane as my flat is my home and I want to feel safe here, not worried about coming home to find people who made my life hell sat in my kitchen. However, I am aware Jane cannot afford a higher rent than this, and her over protective parents won't allow her to live in a less expensive neighbourhood. Meaning if she doesn't move in with us she would have to continue living with her parents and commuting. I know living with her parents would be bad for her mental health as they treat her like a child still.

All factors considered would I be an asshole if I told Jane she couldn't move in due to her close friendship with people who I feel deeply uncomfortable with and quite frankly scared of.",,1,1,1.0
478,Notforutoknow000,AITA for making a brainwashed genocide enjoyer walk home in the snow,"So basically, I was in a 5-day-long relationship with this girl I met at the NAACA (National Atheist Association Convention Association) when I brought her home, and before she went to bed, she said a prayer for her mother, who was in the hospital. This rightfully offended me, as I am openly a common sense enthusiast. I told her not to pray in front of me, and she stared at me in disgust. I told her that praying around me is a symbol of the thousands of years of suffering brought on by Christianity, primarily by white men. She stood her ground, and I told her to leave my house. She came in my car and asked if I would at least drive her home, but I refused as she is a brainwashed sheep.",,1,1,1.0
480,throwawayaccount5308,AITA for asking my brother to share his daughter's inheritance (from our cousin) with my stepdaughter?,"Using a TA,

My cousin Laura passed last year, which was devastating for our whole family. There is now some conflict with the inheritance. Laura's will left everything to her husband and future children, but if not, a third would go to her parents and a third to charity. The final third to be divided between 6 niblings, accessible when they turn 18. (Laura was an only child so the niblings in question are her cousin's kids)

Me and my brother are her only cousins from her mom's side (my aunt), but from her dad's she has 9. From all of us there are a total of 7 kids, including my brother's daughter and my stepdaughter. Me and my SD were hurt when we realized my SD wasn't a part of this third. 

Recently I brought up to my brother that he should share niece's inheritance with SD. I said it's more fair this way and would lower resentment between the kids later on. My niece is only 5 compared to my SD who's 16, so it would be more useful for her in the near future. Also I'm not saying it has to be half and half, but just a portion for SD.

My brother didn't take this well and went off, saying the money is for his daughter and we're being greedy, but I got upset and said no one in this family really cares about SD and are more focused on blood ties. 

He's pissed at me but some other people who know what happened is on my side.

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
483,QuietIsLouder,AITA for paying so much attention to my friend?,"My (20M) best friend (18M) started school at the same university as me in the fall. He is deaf, and this has been a big adjustment for him, not just academically, but socially. At our highschool all the teachers and admin knew him and would make accomodations before even handing out the assignments. Now he has to navigate a way more complex system that can be time-consuming and confusing, especially when you are talking to people that don't speak your language. So I've been helping him a lot.

I've been dating a girl in my major for about a year. Before my friend started school we spent a lot of time together, but that dropped off significantly when my friend started at our school. I took him to a lot of parties to introduce him to our social group, so I had to do a lot of translating, which also meant we spent less time together even at events we were both at. I know I've devoted a lot of time to him, but he is adjusting and it's a struggle.

For the holiday break my friend returned home, and I went with my girlfriend to her family's. We spent so much time together over the holidays, and I got to know her family and it was great. I felt so good about everything on our drive back to school. Well, yesterday she sat me down and told me I need to start ""weaning my friend off of being dependent on me."" She said I'm not doing him any favors by making him reliant on me, and he needs to learn how to navigate everything on his own.

She phrased it like I'd be doing him a favor, but I'm not sure she's being entirely genuine. I asked her if she had any other reasons for feeling this way, and it got a little tense and I asked her if she had a problem with my friend, specifically his deafness. She said I was being a dick and that I needed to cool it with my ""savior complex.""

I didn't save my friend. I'm just helping him out. But maybe I have been giving people the wrong impression. Am I being an asshole?",,1,1,1.0
486,pixie-ss18,AITA For Telling My Mum To Stop Lying About Me,"I (16F) had a go at my mum (44F) in front of her friends at our new years party because she announced I had down syndrome. This is far from the truth.

I do not have down syndrome, there is no official documents or diagnosis from any doctors. I don’t even have the same features as most people with down syndrome. She just said it completely out of the blue for a “party joke”.

After the party was over she went off on me telling me to stop being sensitive about her jokes, when jokes like these aren’t even the worst that come out of her mouth.

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
494,wp00h,AITA for stepping in when my husband swears at our baby,"We struggled to have a baby for years. We finally have our beautiful daughter (10mo) but it’s been hard. I obviously think she’s incredible & I love her to the moon & back but I’m worried this is making me overreact. 

She had some medical issues when she was born which are now resolved but it’s left her being a very cuddly/sensitive baby & she needs to be cuddled or rocked to sleep & mostly contact naps on us in the day. I’m on mat leave for a year so it’s mostly contact naps on me. She sleeps fine through the night in her own cot & we are happy with how/where she sleeps for now & more importantly the baby is too. I’m never going to follow the cry it out method, I know she’ll grow out of the cuddles to sleep so it’s not an issue. 

But our baby sometimes really cries loudly when she’s tired/overtired & it’s difficult to get her to go to sleep. When she is like this, maybe once a week, it’s hard to see her upset especially when she’s teething as you know it’s because she’s in pain. We take it in turns to hold her, cuddle her, rock her & she eventually tires herself out, but she will sometimes kick & slap us in frustration along with the crying. 

I see dealing with this behaviour as part & parcel of being a caregiver- she has no other way of communicating apart from crying & so I feel it’s my job to just take it & be a safe, calm space for her to sleep on. I don’t raise my voice  or swear at her & do my best to soothe her. When she was first born my husband used to swear at her a lot as his way of coping with sleepless nights but he mostly stopped once I explained it was giving me a lot of anxiety around her going to sleep & wasn’t a very nice to talk to her even if she doesn’t understand. 

My husband thinks she’s acting this way as she doesn’t want to miss out by going to sleep even though she’s obviously knackered. She will arch her back to try & stop herself resting her head on our shoulders. My husband moves her around in his shoulders to get her to settle but she doesn’t like it & she cries more. He then gets annoyed & starts to swear or yell her name loudly to get her to stop what she’s going & calm down. I try to step in before he gets to this but if he does reach this point I step in & say I’ll take her as I can see he is wound up & it’s not nice to have a baby scream at you for any lengthy period of time. He sees this as me ‘rescuing’ her & that I don’t trust him. I don’t feel that way & trust him implicitly but I do tell him I don’t like his swearing at her & yelling at her isn’t calming her or us down. I say that yelling at her even if it’s just yelling her name isn’t nice & is too much for her little ears which is why she then cries even more. She’s not doing anything wrong or naughty - she’s 10mo!! He says he’s being loud to stop her whining & isn’t loud enough to damage her ears, just enough to get her attention to stop. 

I try to tell him I’m stepping in to give him a break but he doesn’t think I’m being genuine. AITA for stepping in? Or am I just overreacting?",,1,1,1.0
500,BigLettuce6030,AITA for being asking my fiancé to not leave recycles in the sink?,"This morning as I(27F) got ready for work, I noticed an empty milk carton in the sink. I sighed in contempt, as this is now the sixth time I have asked my fiancé (29M) to not leave recycling in the sink. His excuse is that he wants to wash it out which is fine, but he has never done so in the same day and things get left in there for days (if it’s up to him). Since it was early and I had now asked him more than 5 times to change his behavior, I was really annoyed. I walked into the bedroom and said the following: “Alright, I give up. I am no longer going to ask you to not leave recycling in the sink. I’ve asked several times and you keep doing it, so I don’t care anymore. It’s fine.”

I agree my statement was delivered passive aggressively, but at this point what else am I going to do? He looked confused at me and I told him he left (key word here is LEAVE… he’s allowed to PUT recycling in the sink, just don’t leave it!) recycling in the sink again and he said he was sorry. We both got ready for work.

After we were both dressed and ready I noticed he was sulking in the living room. I asked him if he was alright and he explained how he was angry that I “scolded” him first thing in the morning. I apologized to him and explained that I felt like I didn’t scold him, and that I was justified in my frustration considering how many times I’ve voiced my opinion on the matter. I further explained that it’s fine and that it doesn’t take much of my energy to just move the items myself. Now is where it got ugly. 

He then told me that there were several things that I did that piss him off but he never says anything because he doesn’t feel like they’re situations where correction is warranted. I said alright, tell me one. He said he gets pissed off when I leave my protein shake wrappers on the counter. Valid, so I apologized and said I’d try to fix that. He then decided to give me the lore on why he feels the need to leave recycling in the sink; that his mom washed recycles so he’s used to that. Uh, newsflash, we’ve lived together for 3 years now. I kinda think that habit should be gone but ok. I again apologized and decided to leave the apartment before things got more heated. 

On my way to work he decided to blow up my phone with everything that I do that bothers him. I leave my clothes everywhere even though I have two dressers (I’ve offered him dresser space before and he declined), believes I scold him weekly about the recycles, saying the apartment is only clean when I say it is (I’m the only one who ACTUALLY cleans while he thinks sweeping is clean), he believes I nag him for little things, etc…

This caught me off guard. PLUS.. I was driving while he was sending these. I asked him why he never felt the need to tell me all of the things that were bothering him and he said “well now I am”. Idk, was I the AH for mentioning anything?",,1,1,1.0
501,CaterpillarTasty7703,AITA for telling my friend we are leaving the bar at 1:30am on NYE without her getting a kiss?,"Can’t believe I’m making this post, but it’s been almost a week and the friend is still giving us the silent treatment. Context: we are a group of 3 friends in our early-mid twenties.
So we are at a large party bar for NYE, having a great time, the only thing is, my friend doesn’t get a kiss at midnight and gets absolutely furious. We regroup and offer to walk around with her to be “wingwomen” and assist her in finding someone to kiss (smh, I know). We walk through every section of the bar, give her plenty of opportunities, and it’s now 1:30am and my other friend and I are ready to go. Now we all rode to the bar together so we tell the friend we are ready to go home and if she’s riding with us she needs to wrap it up. This is where it gets crazy. She keeps telling us she’s angry at us for wanting to leave, she hates us, f us, etc. whatever. I tell her I’m sorry but we’re ready to drive home and the friend is too tipsy to drive so we tell her either Uber or come on. She childishly ditches us and goes into the depths of the bar and we have to hunt her down. She did this twice. We eventually get her outside and she storms to the car walking 20ft ahead of us the whole time. Hasn’t spoken to us since we dropped her at home. I guess I just want confirmation that’s she’s in the wrong here. This friend is very sensitive so I’m trying to go about it the best way.",,1,1,1.0
502,CompleteSavant878,AITA for going to far in my response to my ex's mother and not seeking help for my ex?,"I (35m) was in a short-term relationship with my ex whom I will name as Barbara (33F). We've met through work (she was a vendor and I was a customer) before the pandemic happened which was in late 2019. We talked for awhile before being in an official relationship. Now, there is a huge language barrier as she was born in China and I grew up here(US). Regardless of that we both equally made efforts and the relationship was going along smoothly. Until 4 months in, she started showing signs of insecurity.

She would feel ""depressed"" and convict me of cheating or still having feelings for my previous ex gf. You may be wondering what did I do to make her feel that way. Well to be real honest, nothing. I don't talk about my ex because that's in the past and I cut all ties with them. Before we started this relationship, only thing I mentioned was that I learned a lot about myself in the past relationship. That was it. This became a weekly “ritual” where she would portray these feelings of insecurity and why she thinks I don’t love her or that I still have feelings for my exes. 

Things started to escalate from then on. I tried to be a good bf. I consoled her and reassured her that that was not the case. 

Then she started asking me every 5 minutes what I was doing when I'm busy at work.

Then she would cry and asked me how she differs from my previous relationships which I declined to answer and I tried to consoled her again but she comes irate and again accuses me of having feelings for my exes. 

I couldn't take it anymore. It was quite frustrating at the fact that she would make me feel this way about her insecurities. So I told her I wanted to be on a break.

She said ""fine"" and that she respects my decision if I wanted to break up with her.

It hasn't even passed a full 24 hour day until she harassed me on the phone asking if I'm done with my ""break"" from her. I said no. She became irate again saying I was with my exes. I again, told her no that’s not possible. (we were on lockdown by the time this happened).

I told her then and there I wanted to break up. She SCREAMED at me and came to my house despite there being a travel ban and went berserk. I told her to leave and not come back or I will call the cops and put a restraining order.

the next day, her mother came to my mother's place of work (she was part of essential worker during the lockdown) trying to get us back together.

I heard this and I called and told the mother that her daughter was crazy and that she spoiled her rotten and not at all in the right for you to come to my mother's place of work and talk about it and for her daughter for behaving this way. I straight up told her I will not be ever getting back together with her daughter ever again and I immediately blocked her number.

few days later I suffered from bells palsy.

AITA for going to far in my response to my ex's mother and responding it this way? or do you think I was the AH and could have handled it differently?",,1,1,1.0
503,Psychological-Cup228,AITA for saying that it was my neighbors fault that I hit his guest’s car?,"For context, I live in an apartment complex where parking isn’t always the easiest thing to find. I have my own garage (which my neighbor does not) but there’s only a limited amount of extra parking spots so it can definitely be hard for guests to find parking. This can especially be a problem during the holidays.
This issue first started on Christmas Eve. My next door neighbor had a decent amount of people over and one of his guests parked in my driveway… which is obviously an issue because I was parked in my garage and could not leave because of that. I had to knock on his door and ask him to tell whoever parked there to move their car. This really initially wasn’t a big deal, mistakes happen and I could see how a guest would get confused as to where they could or couldn’t park. However, my neighbor seemed pissed off at this request, saying that he didn’t see what the big deal was because “no one was parked in my driveway.” I explained that if there is someone parked in my driveway then I can’t leave because I’m blocked in, yet he still seemed visibly irritated and was completely unapologetic. But he still gets the person to move their car and I pretty much just tell him to please make sure guests know where to park.
Then on Christmas, it happens again. Pretty much same deal. I go over there and he tells me that he cant control where his guests park (???) but still gets them to move it.
The real issue happened on New Years Eve. I was hosting a small get together with a group of friends and agreed to be one of the designated drivers. By the time I’m supposed to drive people home, it’s around 2 a.m. and I have a full car of people. I start backing out of my garage and bam… I back into this tiny little black car parked in my driveway. I could’ve definitely been more careful backing out but it was late, dark, and I had a full car of drunk people I was babysitting so there was no part of me that was thinking that there would be a car in my driveway, especially considering it had been a few days since the last time someone parked there. The damages were SO minimal, maybe one tiny scratch at most. But I leave a note on the car and had to have my friends sleep over because it was 2 am at this point & it was the easiest solution. 
The next day, my neighbor started pounding on my door presumably once he (or the guest) found the note. I explained the situation and both of them immediately started raising their voices at me and making a huge deal out of it when I implied that it wasn’t a big deal because there was only one thin tiny scratch. I also pointed out that this could’ve been avoided if he just told his guests to not park in my driveway as I told him to twice before. I also said that this is equally his fault for not being responsible for his guests and that he was being an asshole for letting people block me in. He said that I was being an asshole for trying to pin the blame on others and for not being apologetic for my mistake. 
Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
504,fathersdilemma,AITA for giving my daughter more money when my son accused me of being unfair.,"Throwaway.

I(44M) had a daughter when I was 16. I was young and dumb, but one good thing that came out of it was my wife Alanna(44F). Fortunately, I come from a well off family, and when Alanna was kicked out my parents took her in. Two years later we had our son. We wanted both kids to grow up together. My parents helped out a lot and years later I became a successful lawyer and Alanna became an architect. 

My family doesn't do Christmas and for birthdays we always got what our children wanted. So, unequal gifts or favoritism never really came up. As for education, we agreed to pay for everything. Because of our income they were not eligible for most scholarships, and frankly even if they were I would've still paid because some one else could really use it.

When my daughter, Sam(now 28), turned 18, she took a break. I got her a job in my firm's mailroom where she worked for two years. As she still lived with us, she saved most of it. Even after she got into a good law school she worked part time. I didn't spend much on her even though we just wanted her to enjoy college without worrying about anything else. She paid for most of it herself.

My son, Bill(now 26), got into a prestigious Medical school. We paid for everything, including pre-med. Sam was never jealous, and we never had problems with Bill, but problems began with their partners.

Sam's partner is a good man. He's a total geek, and a computer engineer. He's kind, polite, and get along with us. He didn't come from money and very responsible. A good fit for Sam.

My son's partner, Jill, on the other hand is handful. I wouldn't call her a gold digger, but I can say she's very materialistic. When Bill started his residency a year and half ago, I stopped paying for his expenses, but as soon they moved in together, he started asking for money sometimes. A few months ago I gave him 50k, to put a deposit on house.

Sam got engaged a month ago, and we decide to gift them a house I got for a bargain. Why? Because I never really spent much on Sam. On new years eve, Sam couldn't stop thanking us for the gift. Bill was all smiles. Jill on the other hand was confused. Bill knew beforehand, but Jill didn't.

I noticed them whispering to each other and Bill grew upset. After a while Jill started making snide remarks. Things escalated and Bill accused us of favoritism. He though it was unfair that Sam got a whole house while he only got 50k. Things got loud, and I finally had enough.

I finally said it was unfair, and I'll remedy it right now. I wrote a cheque for 50k and gave it to my daughter. Bill was confused, and Jill started shouting.

My wife intervened and said now they were even, we're done and spent enough on him. She kicked him out, and asked to not come back home or expect any help from us until he thought long and hard about everything and apologized to us.

Bill was silent was Jill called us ahs as they left. So, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
505,Objective-Bid8807,AITA because I want special treatment from my husband when I'm pregnant?,"I'm 22 weeks pregnant, and I just asked my husband to take responsibility for the dog walking and vacuum cleaning. And occasionally, to buy me something that I crave. 
Every week, there's at least 3 times where he will complain about the dog walking or he refuses to go and get me fruit (or chocolate).
Every other task is done by me. I'm livid. I don't care that I'm irrational. But my back is destroyed, I have headaches AND the mandatory hormonal crying.
He says that he's doing everything, and I'm just too high maintenance. I disagree. I'm cranky, emotional, and angry....but I just don't care.
AITA?",,1,1,1.0
508,Confused_and_lost1,AITAH for 🥊 my BIL in the face for body shaming my sister,"(I 100% stand by what I did, I just wanna know if I took it to far 😊) oooh and I’m 17

So my sister (f26) and her husband “Ben” (m25) have been together since high school, and overtime anyone with eyes and half of some common sense could tell how toxic he was, but my sister loved him so much that she stayed with him long enough until which they got married and had just had their first baby.

Anyways my family has a tradition of throwing HUGE over the top new year parties, so-there was A-LOT of people. Everyone was doing their own thing; the woman were gossiping, the men were discussing politics and sports and the kids were just being kids honestly (including myself)

My sister was taking care of her 3month old daughter (we call her darlin’ even tho that’s not her real name) and she was so occupied with making sure she was well fed and not too fussy that she UNDERSTANDABLY, wasn’t able to help make the Mac n cheese, and my sister makes THE BEST EXTRA CHEESY, EXTRA GOOEY Mac and cheese.

Everyone was obviously super eager to try her food, but not as eager AND impatient as that husband of hers. Matter of fact his hunger was overlapping whatever sense of common decency he had that he said in front of EVERYONE in the crowded living room, “Becca, could you get your fat a** of that couch and go cook already”….

Silence… everyone went quiet, my sister looked frozen on the seat. She had always opened up to me about how he would sometimes come for her body after having the baby, matter of fact an hour before the incident she said that her new years goal was to get her old body back. 
Anger overtook me and all I remember was walking over to him and *pow*🥊 him straight in the middle of the face, he fell back into some people behind him and everyone gasped, my dad had to step in and defuse the situation while my mom told me to go to my room ( so I basically spent the rest of the new years in my room although I wasn’t complaining)

When everyone had left my parents had quit the things to say to me but I reminded them that I was the only person to stand by their oldest child while she was publicly degraded by her husband, needless to say that was enough to shut them up and they ended up ending the argument by calling me a mini a-hole and saying I went to far (btw their not bad parents it’s just really hard for them to make fair and reasonable decisions and conclusions)

So tell meme my good people, did I go to far? Was I the a-hole?",,1,1,1.0
511,Proof-Committee1811,AITA if I don't apologize sincerely for not participating in a friend group?,"So, I have a friend ( 26 f ) who's name is Alice. Alice and I have been friends for 1 and 6 months. Alice would sometimes introduce me to her friend, William and we would all go out to dinner on occasion. Willliam is Alice's best friend however I have no relationship other than a friendly acquaintance. Alice asked me if I had any plans for new years and I had told her I did not. She asked if I wanted to hang out with both her and William. I was working in the town next over and the drive over was only 40 minutes so I said yeah I would love to. I leave work and let William know I'm on my way. Upon my arrival  he is not alone. He is with his own friend group ( 2 males and 1 female ). These are people I have never met before or didn't anticipate in knowing they would be present. William does his best to be a good host ( offers a board and tries to get me involved in the convos ) but to be honest I felt so out of place. These are people that love smoking and drinking however, due to religious / personal reasons I do not drink or smoke. An hour passes by and Alice is no where to be found. She messages William to let him know that she will be running late. 30 minutes pass by and William tell me that Alice went to have dinner with her friend. At this point I'm so pissed off because I have no relations with these people, I was under the assumption Alice would be there and we would all go to dinner however not Alice go to dinner with someone else and leave me by myself with 5 complete strangers. Alice doesn't show up until 11:15. At this time, despite William's best efforts I had a horrible evening. However, here is where I acknowledge I'm the asshole - I work in a consulting firm so my clients pay for my service around the clock. Throughout the evening, I had clients messaging me through out the clock ( due to different time zones ). Due to me texting my clients I was being perceived as rude. Yes, however on my defense the night went from awkward to disgusting. Two of the party attendees decided to ignite their romance by having intercourse in the restroom. That following Monday , it was brought to my attention that I was rude to his guests ( I do take accountability ) however, am I the asshole for wanting to bring up the fact that she pretty much set me up for an awkward night where I don't have any type of friendship or relationship with William ( + his party guests )?",,1,1,1.0
516,FactorHead97,WIBTA if I didn't bring my father to my wedding?,"I'm blessed to be marrying the love of my life this year, but this question is eating me alive. The key word here is ""bring"" him to the wedding, because although he's invited, he can't make it there himself.

**My parents live in the South, a 3-hour flight from the location of my wedding** in the Midwest (Fiancee's hometown). My fiancee and I live in the Northeast and are planning the wedding remotely.

**My father is in the middling stages of dementia** and has been in decline for \~7 years. My mother used to take care of him alone, but in the last couple of years, we've brought in a rotating staff of part-time caretakers to feed, bathe, and watch him 4 days per week. He's begun to experience sundowner's and will get confused, lost, aggressive, and difficult on a daily basis. His physical health has also declined to the point that he needs assistance to stand, use the toilet, shave, and do many basic tasks. He wears an adult diaper and can't be without a bathroom for more than a couple of hours.

**My mother is experiencing burnout** after caring for him for so long. She's tired, and you can see it in both her attitude and her health. Their relationship has paid the price of her caretaking. She has made it clear that she doesn't want to be responsible for him at the wedding. She wants to enjoy her only child's wedding, and having him there at all would tarnish the memory for her.

**His recent history with travel and large events is mixed at best.** They typically involve 1) him soiling himself because an accessible bathroom isn't nearby; 2) him getting confused and not recognizing the people he's visiting; and 3) him want to go to sleep by \~7pm.

**Until recently, I wanted to figure out a way to get him to the wedding.** I love my dad. We had problems (like any family), but he was a kind parent who gave me a fantastic start to life. Although it would be logistically difficult, we could afford to hire full-time caretakers to help him along the flight and care for him during the wedding weekend. A best-case scenario would be if he shows up for the ceremony, eats at the reception, and then goes back to the hotel without an incident.

**However, my recent experience over the holidays has changed my mind.** The person I grew up with seems to be gone. He can't hold a coherent conversation, often forgets who his wife is, and drinks himself into oblivion by the early afternoon. The hard truth is that it's painful to see him, and I don't want to bring chaos to an otherwise wonderful day.

WIBTA?",,1,1,1.0
517,Beautiful-Noise-6482,AITA for not disclosing the amount of my debts?,"I’m going to try to make this short and succinct. My fiancé proposed to me sometime around October. We had both planned to get married the following year in September. Initially, we both wanted a small and intimate wedding but I later decided and asked him if we could have a maximum of 30 people. At first, he wasn’t keen on the idea and I said alright but then he later changed his mind and said “Whatever pleases you, go for it”. So I did. Every thing that was planned from invitations to all the little details of the wedding planning, he was consulted and so were his parents and everyone else just so that everyone was on the same page. Everything seemed like it was all going to plan. But unfortunately that wasn’t the case at all. 

Just 4 months before our wedding, he calls me and says he cannot go through with the wedding…that he needs to call it off. Shocked and frustrated, I asked, “why?!”. He replied that it’s because of my debt. He has said that he felt “cheated and lied” to.

***Just a quick backstory:
I have mentioned to him about my debt earlier on before engagement. I just didn’t disclose the exact amount. We have been together for 7 years  and not once have I been a materialistic girlfriend. Not once have I borrowed money or even asked him to pay for things for me. I have my debts and there was no plan at all in dragging him into it either. 

I have told him not to make such a brash decision and to sit down with me and talk about his concerns and not just over the phone. We both made a plan to sit down and discuss his concerns but before that had happened, I made the decision to pick up my wedding dress first thinking that things will be okay. Sadly, he called me again and said no he will not come because he was just so upset of what I had done or not done (which was disclosing my debt amount). So after all that has been said and done, our wedding didn’t go through. I know that money is paramount in any relationship and that if money isn’t handled properly in a marriage, it could end in divorce. But I have been paying for my debts anyway and not once have I made him pay for any of it. AITA for not telling him the amount of my debts?",,1,1,1.0
520,abakes1234,AITA if I become a vegetarian as the main cook in the family?,"Long time listener, first time caller. I’m wondering if I became a vegetarian, if that would make me an AH in the family (35yo wife, 8yo kid). To elaborate, I cook 90% of the family meals. One night a week, my wife cooks. She hates cooking, but only does as a request from me after years of 100% cooking. Im also an above average cook, it’s fun, never gets old for me. I can make croissants from scratch, steamed buns, dumplings (Asian or southern slick-style), pasta, bread, cheesecake, crème brûlée, traditional French, german, Japanese, whatever. I’ll cook it and will turn out above mediocre. I make all recipes, not just vegetarian, with ingredients they like but in sometimes adventurous ways. 

Over the summer, really loved going to the farmers market to get fresh produce and spontaneously coming up with goodies. And recently introduced a Meatless Monday. They’ve featured things like homemade cheese pizza, veggie fried rice, etc.. But man, do I get hell each and every time. Loud sighs, grunts, and comments of “oh this is actually pretty good”. None of the meatless recipes have been bad! As with all cooking, some recipes are more successful than others.

I love veggies, they’re great. But obviously the family doesn’t embrace them as much. They do eat what I make with little fuss about the actual meal. But recently they’ve taken to healthy food cancels out the donut they’ve just eaten. Every meal needs dessert, chips and unhealthy snacks all the time. Kiddo is the more egregious offender and generally doesn’t consume the same volume of a normal 8yo, loves all candy and tries to eat it for every meal, etc.  

I have nothing towards the morality of eating animal products. They’re forking delicious. Even cooking with bacon fat in a veggie fried rice isn’t inherently wrong for me from a vegetarian standpoint. Would still make them meat-centric or meat containing meals. BUT if I buy more veggies for myself they may slip their way into the family portions. That seems inherently positive. But WIBTA for cooking a vegetarian meal for myself purely as a means to not-so-subtly impose more veggies eaten by the family?",,1,1,1.0
522,symson,AITA for thinking my friend should trust me more than a stranger?,"I recommended my friend for an open part-time position where I work part-time. She was hired, and unfortunately, her computer skills are not as good as she boasted to me. I've been helping her improve her skill level and giving her resources to study independently. She's not picking it up quickly.

​

She's had to take time off quite a bit. I covered her shift each time. She gave me that time back. Recently she had an emergency, and I covered her shift again. Usually, that time would be given back soon. I told her, 'I would like to save it for later when I may need it rather than get it back the next day as we had done.'

​

I've known her for over ten years. She's been at the job for about three months.

​

The employer has put her on probation because of her less-than-stellar job skills. Also, for some reason, he added that I complained to him about her owing me a lot of time. I did not complain, and she does not owe me a lot of time, only four hours. I suspect he's trying to drive a wedge between us.

​

When she told me what he said, I assured her I had never even spoken with him about her. She responded that her ""trust level was very low."" I was surprised and hurt by this reaction. A few days later, I shared that I was hurt that she thought I would say that after what I'd done for her, and it didn't make sense for me to undermine her like that.

​

She said she told me she was giving me ""the benefit of the doubt.""

​

I know she has been stressed because she's not doing well at the job and has other life issues. I've been there to support her as much as possible. Am I the asshole for thinking she should put more faith in my word than someone she has only known for three months?",,1,1,1.0
524,New_Barracuda8927,AITA for telling my parents they suck?,"I, (18F) told my parents they suck. Last night they had one of their screaming matches that went until 3:30 in the morning. My mom was drunk and mad at my dad because he spends so much money on drugs that it's more than what she makes in a week. My dad does not have a job. So they fought and all, and my mom at some point took the car keys and hid them somewhere but now, she can't remember where they are because she barely remembers their fight. :| 
So for about 4 hours now we've been looking for the keys, tearing up the house and meanwhile my parents are still yelling at each other. I barely slept because they were fighting so late, and I had to wake up at 9 because someone was coming to repair the roof. (Yes, this entire day while they've been fighting the repair guy is still here.) 
As they were arguing and I was searching through a bunch of old bags and whatnot on the floor, I looked up and said ""you guys suck."" And now my dad is mad at me because I am mean and I shouldn't say things like that to him. He's taking it like I said only he sucks and not the two of them. As a unit. Collective suckiness. 
I know it's probably best that I should stay out of the situation,  but this argument is going on 9 hours now? Minus the amount of time we were all sleeping. I feel like it's completely in my right to say they suck. This sucks. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
525,lowtierchuru,AITA for faking autism and other disabilities to get in special ed,"Listen, I'm like 19 now, but the thing is that I faked my autism so I can get into special ed classes. Listen, I'm like cool as hell but the thing is that I faked my autism so I won't do the hard work. I'm not ashamed, but I do feel like an asshole but at the same time I dont",,1,1,1.0
528,chansnow,AITA for not planning my best friend’s bridal shower & bachelorette party?,"my best friend and I met in school around 5 years ago, we bonded over both being international students and our boyfriends at the time were pieces of shit. Fast forward to 2 months ago, she got engaged to the love of her life and had asked me to be a bridesmaid. At the beginning she said she didn’t have a maid of honor because she didn’t want to make a decision- i was a little sad because i thought she would ask me but i respected that.

with all the wedding planning going on, and none of her other bridesmaid were planning on doing anything, i took it onto myself to plan her bridal shower & bachelorette party. 

I booked an accommodation for her bachelorette ($650 i paid out of my own pocket, had asked the other bridesmaids to pay me back but nobody’s done so), researched a bunch of places to go and things to do etc. I also just secured a venue for her bridal shower ($300+tax which no one has responded to me regarding splitting the cost). When she sent the bridal party a message- she had chosen one of us to be her maid of honor. Now, the MoH lives in the states (we live in canada) and in the message the bride said “she’ll not be able to plan too much so she’ll need to rely on the rest of you to do so”.

i was hurt, but you know, i don’t want to make this all about me. so i sent the bride a message today saying i’ll pass the responsibility of planning the shower & the bachelorette to the MoH. She read the message but hasn’t responded yet. i know she’s stressed out enough but it is not my responsibility to have spent almost $1000 when there’s an actual MoH who’s job is to plan these things.

AITA? am i being petty?",,1,1,1.0
532,Sad-Butterscotch3534,AITA for snitching on my neighbor for not picking up her dog's poop?,"My apartment has a policy for pet owners: when you first move in, you have to give a DNA sample from your dog, and if dog poop is found on the property and tested back to you, you pay a hefty fine. 

For several months, I enjoyed poop-free grass around the apartment complex, which is great, because usually people who don't even have pets (like me) have to deal with other people's neglect and smell and see shit all day. 

I live in a corner apartment, and between me and the next building of apartments is a grassy area where people usually take their dogs AND pick up their poop. But there's been one woman who I regularly see take her dogs out and doesn't pick up their shit.

I made an anonymous burner email account, emailed the manager without giving my name or apartment number, and ratted her out. I know she lives above me, but I wasn't sure of her exact unit. 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
533,AITAJailbreak,WIBTA for this sign?,"Context: I live in a loft apartment building that only has eight units. The downstairs of this building used to be a food court, but closed down way before Covid. So, it’s just a really big long open space that spans the length of the building and has stairs and doors in front and back. 

I’ve only lived here for about a year, there are others who have lived here longer, but it was me in the past couple months that complained to management about dead cockroaches, dust, and just general lack of cleanliness in the common stairwell and hall areas. As a result, management is now sending two very sweet ladies to sweep and mop the building a few times per month. They said they would be here weekly, but I tend to see them every other week. Which is fine because it’s better than never.

I tend to use the downstairs area as a walking track because I like to get my steps in without going outside. So yesterday I noticed someone had dragged their Christmas tree down the front stairs and through the entire building so that they could then go out the back door and throw it in the dumpster. They could have brought the tree downstairs and then gone out the front door and then dragged the tree outside and around the corner to the dumpster, but maybe it didn’t occur to them.

As a result, there is a pretty significant trail of debris from their tree, and to make things worse, they only swept up the small portion that was closest to the front door and LEFT the pile. Either they know that we have women that come to help clean and are leaving their mess for them to clean up or they don’t know that we have women that clean, as this is a recent change, and they literally are just leaving their mess for someone, maybe an elf in the night, to clean it up. I can’t know the motivation. 

I know hanging signs in relation to neighbors is not usually a good idea. Before this sign, I had 1 million petty versions in mind, but I don’t want to start a feud. WIBTA for this [sign](https://imgur.com/a/a7Mdute)?",,1,2,1.0
536,Greedy-Cauliflower-9,AITA for cheating on my spouse of 11+ years?,"My ex (then 34) and I (then 33) had been having many marital issues (i.e. communication, narcissism, inequality, etc.) and as a result (or so I thought) we hadn’t been intimate with each other for about 2 years, nothing more than a quick peck was ever exchanged between us. The last time we were intimate I remembered feeling like something was off, they noticed that I was not too enthusiastic and asked if something was wrong and I said that I didn’t feel connected to them. They immediately stopped all action and left the room. We didn’t discuss it more, it was never brought up again and we were never intimate again. Fast forward to almost 2 years later and I made a friend who has gone through something similar recently with their ex, and so through trauma dumping and just talking to each other, eventually an attraction developed. Nothing happened between me and my friend until later, but this friend also just happened to work with one of my ex’s old coworkers. Apparently my ex had been bragging to some of their work friends about an affair they had had…that started right around the last time we were intimate together. My friend eventually ended up telling me about it, my ex and I got into a HUGE fight that lasted for several days, and finally at my wits end decided that this relationship wasn’t working for me or for them and that we needed to end our marriage. I wanted a divorce. 2 weeks later my friend and I are hanging out, watching a band play at a bar, having a great time! Feeling a little tipsy and being “single” again for the first time since I was 20 (and the 2 years of pent up sexual frustration), my friend and I ended up sleeping together. Well there was a mishap, condom slipped off, I took plan B. Never had to take plan B before so I held on to the drug info in case I needed it. My ex decided to go through my stuff (we were still living together and no, the deed did not happen at my/my ex’s home), finds the plan B and then proceeds to start a huge argument with me about how I “cheated” on them because we weren’t divorced yet. They insist they only kissed the other person, but several of their coworkers said they confessed to much more. I know it wasn’t the best decision to make on my part, but am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
537,DustylynCard,AITA My dad's wife ruined our father daughter dance,"AITA My dad's wide ruined our father daughter dance

I, 31/F , have always been incredibly close to my father, 52/M. He got married to a woman about a year ago named stephanie, 41/F, after only 11 months of dating. She and I haven't ever seen eye to eye but that came to a head a few months ago.
On September 3, 2022, Clayton, 44/M, and I finally got married after 10 years of being together. We had our wedding on my grandmother's farm in her huge field. My dad's friend had offered to work the grill, and my mother's current boyfriend was supposed to help. I know her boyfriend is extremely unreliable, so Clayton had already asked another of our friends, Ryan, to take over if need be. I had planned the ceremony to end right at peek picture time, a.k.a the golden hour. It went according to planned, and the sun was setting as we wrapped up our vows. We then told everyone to go ahead to the tent and We asked that our wedding party and immediate family stay behind at the apple tree for photos. 
Unfortunately, during the reception, the band was having trouble getting our 1st dance or my father-daughter song to play via Bluetooth over the speakers. So I just told the band to let me know when they were going to play their last slow song, and I would then grab my dad and do our dance together. So when the band indicated it was time, I went to get my father. He was standing next to the grill with Stephanie. That's when Stephanie began yelling at him. I was having trouble making out what she was saying but i did see that she was putting her jacket on to leave. I asked what was wrong, and she rolled her eyes at me but didn't give me an answer before she stomped up the field and left. By the time she finally left our father daughter song was over. I didn't mention it to dad since he was already upset, but I was super bummed. Later on Clayton informed me that he had brought ryan over to the grill as soon as we had gotten down to the reception after photos and told Stephanie ryan would take over. Stephanie had declined and said she was ""totally fine"" with doing it. 
The next day, my father called to tell me that i needed to apologize for not including her in the photos and for making her feel unappreciated. He said I ""took complete advantage of her kindness"" and ""should've made sure she was in the photos."" I told him I would not be apologizing as I don't feel I did anything wrong. Since the wedding, the tension is so thick when she and i are in the same room that you could cut the air with a knife. She also has clearly told my dad she doesn't want him spending time with me because he and i haven't had our usual monthly father daughter hang out time since that day. I really miss that time with him and wish that there wasn't such uncomfortable tension at every fsmily event. I just dont feel like i should be the one apologizing. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
541,autistictech,AITA for saying stepdaughter can’t have my late SIL’s stuff?,"Eight years ago my ex-husband’s sister, Kim, died unexpectedly. She and my daughter (age 14 then) were very close, and it was very hard on my daughter. I was newly divorced from my ex, and my new ex-mother-in-law gave me several new kitchen items (skillets, blender, electric griddle) that Kim had purchased in preparation for her upcoming wedding. I didn’t need them but I kept them, planning in giving them to my daughter when she got eventually moved out on her own. 

My daughter is now 21 and just got an apartment with her cousin. I want to give her the kitchen items, but my new husband (we’ve been married 5 years) is very offended that I don’t want to give the items to *his* daughter who lives with her mom but just turned 18 and wants to move into her own place. She never sees us and doesn’t want much to do with us. She doesn’t even like me. 

I can’t think of one good reason why I should give those things to my stepdaughter, but my husband thinks the sun rises & sets on his kids and thinks these kitchen items should go to his daughter, who probably doesn’t even want them but is too concerned with looking like the grateful daughter to even say so. My daughter has a brain tumor and related medical costs and sometimes needs to cut back on her hours at work, so I feel like she might appreciate the monetary and sentimental value of the stuff.",,1,1,1.0
542,Background-Issue-135,AITA for suggesting my sister allow me to raise her child?,My sister is young and recently gave birth to a healthy baby girl. She did not want to be a mother but unfortunately got pregnant. My wife and I cannot have children of our own. We are a sapphic couple. My sister is a student so I know having a child will be harder for school. The family met up for new years and we got to meet the baby. My sister talked about how stressed she was doing online classes and taking care of a newborn alone. My sister complained about the baby for almost the whole night. I asked my sister if she regretted keeping the baby and she said she was unsure. I asked if she would be interested in working together with my wife and I to raise the child. She suddenly got very angry. My parents and other relatives shot me dirty looks. I told her that since she's young and wants to continue to live her life like normal it would be nice if we could do a trade. We adopt the baby we have always wanted and she gets her thrilling life back. My family called me insensitive to attempt to separate a mother and child. Am I the Asshole?,,1,1,1.0
543,UniqueMage47324,AITA for expecting an apology from my mother who doesn't care about my time because I'm a teen.,"It not an unusual thing for my mum to disregard my emotions because I'm ""just a kid"". So...

Here's what happened. So I have been paid to teach a kid how to draw. We have all agreed on the time it should take place. I had to do the meeting today, and she came to my room 30mins before we joked around and she was about to go and I was like ""see you in 30mins when I do my meeting"" she was like ""see you too."" 30mins later I'm about to go downstairs and she calls me and is telling me she has a meeting and I should do it somewhere else. That was the only area I had a table and chair to do it (dining area). I was in that time trying to tell her to message the child's mother (because they are friends and I don't have the mothers number, idk why) she then cuts the call on me to which I assume was because it was starting but idk.

I send her a text about how that isn't respecting people's time and how we have all agreed on the time this happens. I of course wasn't expecting her cut off her meeting but she should have told me earlier. I guess it's disrespectful of me texting her that.

So she has a ""conversation"" she is the only one talking and I'm not allowed to speak so its just her shouting at me. She said I'm in the wrong and I apologized and acknowledged all her points. She didn't feel she was wrong and all I wanted at this point was an apology from her but ofc with the kind of person she was she didn't. Idk why I even expected it. She's never wrong...

So AITA because I guess I was disrespectful but was she also wrong? 

This is my first post here too!",,1,1,1.0
546,Shot-Enthusiasm-8093,"AITA for calling my partner a ""superior twat"" after he repeatedly implies that I'm lazy.","My partner and I form a blended family with 8 kids between us. We both have shared care of our kids, I have my children 10nights a fortnight. We usually only have all of the kids 1 night a fortnight, but there is flexibility with the pattern.

I believe that we are both very hardworking, I work a professional job and he runs a medium size company. For the first few years of our relationship I was studying for my degree. I now work approx 30hr a week (school hrs). I organise the life admin for my children (sports, clothes, medical, transport, homework, play dates etc). My partner is an awesome dad, but his ex also organizes all this for their children, she has studied the last few years.

We mainly have responsibility for organising our own sides of the family and do not share finances. My partner is a much better cook than I am, I hate cooking and make quite basic meals - but I cook more often.

My partner is kind, funny, clever and hardworking, he also likes a lot of praise and for people to show appreciation for what he does, which I 100% don't mind giving. I don't need this and do not tend to talk about how busy I've been each day, or point out jobs I've done.

He now genuinely thinks he works much harder than I do and that I'm pretty slack and lazy (he's not used the term 'lazy', but it's been implied.)

I'm torn, I don't know which of us works harder, I've no idea what he does during the day - he also has no idea what I do. I also am not interested in a competition, or feeling pressure to do more. I don't want to start pointing out to him how busy I've been each day.

On the balance, I suspect that I do work harder, but I don't want to ""prove"" this. I suspect he'll never appreciate the working parent juggle because his ex carries most of that load.

It came to a head when his son announced that his dad does so much, and I do ""some"". This is probably true when my partner's kids are at our house and my kids are with their dad, so I understand why his son may think this. But, my partner didn't contradict him.

I was really upset and asked him about it, he said ""well that's his opinion"" and ""you know I do think that I do more than you.""

I do not want to spend my life being made to feel like I'm not doing enough and am not good enough. I'm also afraid of this view being taken up by the children. I feel hurt, underappreciated and disrespected. My partner isn't going to budge on his view and I don't know what to do, we argued and I called him a 'superior twat', we are currently not talking. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
549,Lopsided_Spinach6968,AITA For Feeling Envious Of My Friends Friendship Skill, So I (F15) Have Always Felt Some Resentment Towards My BFF We Will Call Lily Which I Have Known Since Elementary School. So This Happened In My Freshman Year Of Highschool. So In Highschool We Both Had Diffrent Classes And We Picked Our Electives (I picked Dance and She Picked Drama) Which Meant We Couldn't See Each Other During The Day.And Didn't Have Any Classes Together (I Was Nerous Of Making Friends and She Could Make A lot Of Friends) So After School There was Someone New In The GC And We Will Call Them Ari Which Lily Had Made A New Friend In Drama. Ari was Cool But I Always Felt Envious Since That Ari Got To See Lily More Often Than I Did They Always See Each Other Everyday And They Also Have Classes (Which Also Includes Lunch). But As We Went On The Envy In Me Grew ( I've Tried To Make These Feelings Dissapear More Than Once) But One It Was Early In The Morning And I See Lily And Ari Holding Hands together with Rings around there fingers and they seemed more happy and excited when they were around each other and they are always hanging out and talking on facetime and Also Having Sleepovers And They Hug Each Other Alot And It Makes Me Sad. By The Way I've Have Talked About This With Lily But I Genuinly. I Feel Like What I am thinking is childish and obnoxious and that i need to grow up. But I Feel As Though My Actions Have Caused Me To Feel This Type Of Way Edit: ( I Have Adhd) And I Am Also Getting Therapy For It.,,1,1,1.0
550,anonaita11,AITA for not being flexible on our wedding date?,"
My fiancé and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and got engaged about 5 months ago. We are finally going to be husband and wife! I was ready for our wedding November 2023, I’ve always envisioned a fall wedding. 

Early on my fiancé said summer 2024 was the ideal wedding date. He wants to be a part of the wedding planning and feels he will be too busy in the upcoming year to be a part of it all. To try and compromise I thought, okay a midway point is March 2024 let’s do that. He slightly entertained the idea but never really said yes. He wanted summer 2024. 

After lots of discussion, my fiancé said we could have the wedding whenever I wanted bc he wanted me to be happy. And if I was happy, he would be happy. After this we started touring venues and it finally felt like we were really moving forward with the wedding planning and marriage. Even though we were looking for venues late in the game, the wedding was happening. November 2023 we’d be husband and wife. 

During Christmas he had a family member visit from out of the country. It was brought up that this family member would not be able to attend our wedding from August-thanksgiving 2023. The family member joked saying, “so you are getting married in 2024 right?” And I laughed it off saying he always gets what he wants. But internally I was screaming no. I don’t want to wait anymore. My fiancé and I were good for November 2023, finally. 

Later on I discussed this with my fiancé. He said he would really like to hold off the wedding until this family member could attend. I was immediately upset. We were finally on track to getting married this year and then a new obstacle/excuse has come up. I don’t think we should be moving our date around to cater to others. Those who can make it will. I never once asked my family what dates work for them. I don’t think it’s fair that we pick our wedding date to accommodate this family member. And even if we did change our date, there’s no guarantee the family member could make it.

My fiancé says that is an ugly way to look at it, that he wants this family member there, and that I initially said March was okay. I did say March was okay but I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to marry the love of my life. I don’t care who is there. This family member is not a parent or a sibling. More importantly - this family member is not the bride or groom, so the date should not be chosen around them or anyone else.

I feel if he really wanted to marry me, he would be happy and excited to get married at any place and any time, so long as we were both there. At this point it feels like we’ll never get married. Something will always come up and I/our relationship will never be his priority. 

So when we finally agreed on November 2023 and then just a short week after that changed, I felt like everything was ripped away. We haven’t booked anything, but at this point it feels like we never will.

AITA for not being flexible with our wedding date?",,1,1,1.0
551,luomofocaccina,AITA for telling my friend to lose weight?,"So, today me and my close friend were talking about gender identity and gender roles: in short he brought up that he wanted to present himself in a more masculine way, i told him that before trying to appear more masculine he should lose weight because he is obese and needs to focus on his health first. Well, he told me to fuck off. I tried to explain him that my statement wasn't intended to be offensive, rather, a serious advice but he told me his answer doesn't change. Now he is mad with me, i don't know what to think, i was just telling him the truth, i didn't mean to be disrespectful towards him or his problems with obesity. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
553,DeskHonest8969,AITA for killing my neighbors four dogs and threatening to kill their infant children?,"ok ok ok, let me explain. My neighbor, who has been living just to the right of my home in a multi million dollar mansion, recently told me to fuck off because i was trying to protect my home from their RABID dogs. my home has no protection against these rabid dogs who are free to stroll around their own with no restraints besides an electric shock thingy thats supposed to keep them confined. now they say their miniature poodles wont cause any harm to me at all, but recently i discovered one of their newly adopted poodles, named stick, had escaped into my own back yard and was gleefully messing up plants which i had spent many hours optimizing. and thats when i lost it, i took my shovel, ran over to their rabid beast and hit it across the head. Their dog was unconscious instantly. I didnt know what to do, at first i thought it was going to such having to come up with an excuss to them or try to explain how their ""precious"" sticks was on the verge of death from a single hard blow to the skull. but then i realized, who are THEY to let their dogs onto MY property? i quickely realized, this is MY home i have every right to do what ever i please with the wildlife strolling upon it. i hastely finished sticks with a couple more blows and then strolled onto their yard to empty 3 bottles of rat poison into their dogs food. i then made my way back to my home smirking as i had just accomplished a mighty task, no more dogs messing up my plants! i almost yelled in excitement. it was only a matter of time before my plans would pay off. 15 minutes later, the food that had already been out for 20 more was finially eaten, i smirked.  it wasnt long before her precious puppies were vomiting and wining. i made an even wider smirk. the owners of the house wouldnt be back for another 30 minutes so i had some nice time on my hands. just to make sure the dogs were dead i brung a knife from my kitchen. i stabbed each of the dogs twice in the throat before i headed home. my neighbor, of whome i thought wouldnt be back for another 30 minutes, surprisingly got back around 17 minutes early. i still remember the shock on her face, it was beautiful. she looked at her now dead dogs and screamed. she then started calling for sticks, as that was the only dog not obviously dead. she immidiatly knew i had done it, i just sat on my property smirking. but in an unexpected turn, she ran over to me and started threatening to call the police, even going to far as to say she was going to sue me. an argument insued, and i screamed at her to get off my property before i kill her infant child too. she called the police. at the moment, police are yet to conclude anything luckily, i made sure not to leave anything of mine behind such as dna or fingerprints by using my trusty garden gloves. i really dont think im in the wrong yet she and her girlfriend keep insisting. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
555,Bing-Bong89,AITA: minor dispute about timing of hobbies,"Important information: My husband and I work the same job from home, in the same field, in the same company. Our workload is identical. 

However the household division of labour is not. It would be about a 70/30 split between us with me doing all laundry and most cleaning and cooking. I do the majority of the admin and mental load work.

He does all driving mostly. Our childcare is 50/50 apart from when he has his hobby evenings/days.

Every week, twice a week he goes rock climbing an hour away. When our kid is in bed it’s not really a problem apart from he gets less time to do it. 

He leaves at 4:30pm for one of the sessions and I am supposed to work up until around 5pm, starting at 9am. 

This is flexible enough that so long as you get your work done it’s not a problem

He will collect our daughter from school and drop her at home at 4:30pm and come back around 9:30pm on the day he leaves early for climbing.

Today I called him while he was heading there and said that the extra half an hour I would gain back if he left a bit later would help me as I feel stretched with work and home commitments as when our child is home I cannot work as she’s very young still. She comes in very much wanting her dinner and then there’s chores and homework to do so work is not going to happen.

He doesn’t agree and says the 30 minutes won’t make much difference to me at all however to him it means longer in traffic due to rush hour and also longer queueing to climb as he would arrive later. 

Please note this is a minor dispute, however who is TA here?",,1,1,1.0
556,Background-Attempt83,AITA For asking my mom to try not to drink so much?,"(Quick heads up you'll have to bare with a few if not a lot of my grammar mistakes I'm not the best at it.)

So a quick run down, my dad has recently been gone from the house for a lot of hours at a time sometimes lasting past 12 AM because of his job and would usually feel bad for my mom and before he goes he lets her have a drink and maybe an hour in, she would already be at the point of just past tipsy and will just keep drinking until she can barely stand on her own two legs without almost falling over. My mom has had depression for years and recently it slightly came back after it was better for a while and uses alcohol as a way of coping with it. And because of this she will usually start asking me(17M) and my sister(11F) things like ""Do you love me"" and will always right after that say ""You don't love me anymore"", no matter what we answer, and not too long ago she was so drunk she ended up yelling at me and my sister when something made her angry, and she needed something to yell at, which ended up with me yelling back at her that night, and keep in mind it takes a lot to get me to the point of yelling at someone in anger because I don't like to get angry since whenever I do I will start to cry and shake uncontrollably making my heart race so fast sometimes that I feel dizzy at points, and she started yelling back at me causing me and my sister to feel really unsafe, I called our dad and he was luckely on the road back and when he was back he comforted us and helped me calm down and talked to my mom and she apologised to us but I don't count that since I doute she even remembers anything that happend that night, things for me aren't going well because my anxiety has been getting worse whenever my dad has to go to work and I'm not sure how my sister is handling all of this since I have been trying to avoid talking to her about it. Ok so now skip to a week or so later, This was maybe 2-3 days ago, I had enough one night and right after my dad left for work again, my mom got herself a drink and about halfway through it I asked her as kindly as I could if she could tone down on the drinking because I can't handle seeing her like that anymore, she then got into a pretty bad mood and told me in an angry tone something like ""Ok, fine I won't drink anymore"" and then went on about how I'm just like my dad because he keeps telling her she should stop drinking so much, and that ""Sometimes you need to live life a little because life is already s\*\*ty enough"" continuing to say stuff like ""You don't love me anymore and should just go away"" because I'm being a bad son or something among those lines, what she said really stung a lot and now I feel like I should have just kept quite because I might have said something out of lane, I'm not sure weather I'm in the wrong or right because on the one hand she has depression and I can't help help it, and on the other my anxiety keeps getting worse and not to mention my sister having to see her own mother like that can't be good on her either.",,1,1,1.0
559,LoopDeLoop0110,WIBTA for suggesting my stepmom stay home from my graduation?,"I (24F) am in my 3rd year of a mathematics PhD, and only have dissertation writing left. Since I did not get to walk for my BS (bc of Covid), I told my parents I would just make my PhD ‘the’ graduation. Of course I would invite everyone, send out announcements, hire a photographer, yada yada. 

So far, I plan to invite my dad, bio mom, step mom, and two sisters, as well as my aunt, uncle, and any of their children who wanted to attend. When discussing this with my dad & stepmom, SM interjects and tells me to make sure that my dad doesn’t have to interact with my mom at all (they’ve been divorced since I was little and recently got into a small fight that upset my dad). I told her no way, it is not my job to handle who sees who, especially on a day that I worked very hard for. SM also mentioned she and my dad were going to make dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant and that my mom wasn’t invited. I also declined, saying that everyone is here to help me celebrate this important milestone, so we either celebrate together or don’t celebrate at all. She doesn’t get to dictate how I celebrate my special day by any means. I suggested that she should consider just staying home if it was going to be such an issue , but AITA for saying this & not conforming to her demands?",,1,1,1.0
560,TXJiangui,WIBTA if I stop financial support to my extended fam?,"I (33F) am currently paying for about \~90% of expenses at home. Years ago I was only paying half but after my aunt's husband died a couple of years ago, everything became my responsibility. Initially I had no problem with this arrangement, I get along well with my aunt. What has been getting me stressed in the last few years or so is her oldest son's James (26M) life decisions.

We sent him to college and he promised he'll take the responsibility of sending his younger brother (Alex) through the last 2 years of Alex's degree. But he got a GF after graduation and focused on her. We thought he'll do it like promised because it was only 2 years. It's not as huge expectations as other SEAsian parents who wants sons to cover their retirement etc.

James moved her in the household without consulting with anyone. So additional person for me and uncle to feed without warning. Instead of finding work so they can live financially separate from us, she got pregnant (they refuse birth controls, mostly her). After some miscarriages, first child was through a caesarean section. Uncle can't afford it on his own so he asked me to loan him \~PHP40K out of the \~P150K he has to pay. 26M cousin said he'll pay me in installments but it's been almost 3 years and he still owes me more than half of it.

James has a job, she's SAHM. We tried to get James to pay a small % of bills but his wife controls all his salary.

Uncle died and James hasn't picked up the slack. He gives only P2K/mo for all their share in food. Which frankly, that amount can't even feed a single person for 1 month, let alone 2 adults + 1 toddler.

Here is where I might be a future AH. Alex just graduated. James and his wife has an incoming baby. Looks like it's going to be another expensive caesarean section. They said they only have about P15K saved up on top of the P15K I gave them as a Christmas gift. I want OUT. I don't think I can do this anymore. I can't put myself on a P100K+ loan to pay for years knowing they likely won't pay me back. With a baby incoming, that's another person for me to feed eventually.

If I leave, they'll be tight on money for bills and food. Alex is asking me not to leave him with all the responsibilities, he's scared that when he finds a job, he'll be slaving to pay for his James' family and he's not able to make as much as I do yet.

I don't want to leave Alex and their mom, but I don't think James would be able to learn how to responsibly handle family finances if I'm around. I get along well with the couple, but I want them to be financially responsible. Aunt is encouraging me to do what's best for me. She said she'll stay with James because they need her for childcare. 

WIBTA if I leave?",,1,1,1.0
567,smokeywokeypokey,"AITA because I'm refusing to go on a family holiday that's been booked for me, after saying I didn't want to go?","in early 2021 I was invited on a family holiday on my partner's side of the family. 8 adults and a baby for a week in a holiday camp by the sea which I agreed to go on and absolutely hated it.   


It was pre-booked for mid 2022 for a big discount (£2-300 a person) for a self catering ""chalet"" that me and my SO were going to share with my MIL and her husband.   


Without going into too much detail, it was a disaster for me. Me and my SO over spent by almost £2000 between us because his brother had lined up a load of activities for everyone to do without telling us, all of which cost a bomb. Including planning every one of our meals out - even after we agreed that we'd ""saved money"" by getting a self catering accommodation.  


The ""chalet"" was a dump, the park was run down and understaffed, the entertainment was entirely aimed at babies and OAPs (me and my SO are a childless couple in our mid-30s), and the only ""features"" that were open in the park were a run down swimming pool that was only open 8am - 1pm 4 days a week.  


By the end of it, i was fed up, tired because my MIL and her husband snored like fog horns the entire time, sun burnt, bored stiff because the entire time was spent pushing the new born nephew around in his pram and my partner spent half the time pissing around with his brother which meant i spent most of the time either following those guys or sat having really slow conversations with my brother in law's elderly parents in law.   


After coming back I said to my boyfriend ""i'll miss the next one out, you go and have fun with your family and i'll just use my holiday time somewhere else in the year"". He was a bit upset but eventually accepted it.  


Fast forward to today, I get added to a family group saying they had just booked the exact same park, same dates in 2024 and that we needed to pay for our share, which was £150 on top of what we paid last year.   


I didn't reply to the group but reminded my boyfriend ""i'm still not going"" and he said ""ohhh, i thought you would have changed your mind by now, well, too late, it's booked""  


So i said that they're gonna have to pay my share because i'm not and even if they did pay for me, i wouldn't go. Now it's just a bit awkward because he's using the excuse ""my mum and stepdad aren't very well off, so if you don't go they won't afford to go"" and i said that's not my problem and my boyfriend's brothers parents in law are so well off, if it's that important, they can pay - which he said was insensitive.  


So am i the asshole for not going?",,1,1,1.0
568,uhhh267362,AITA for snapping at my friend and telling her to stop commenting on how I eat?,"I've been close friends with ""Chelsea"" for over 10 years, and until last year she had never made any rude comments towards me or anyone that I'm aware of. Neither of us are confrontational people (I try and avoid it at all costs if I can), so we'd never had any big arguments or falling outs.

Sometime last year however, whenever we would meet and get something to eat she would make little comments towards me and it would really annoy me. Things like ""How do you even eat that much?!?"" if I got a large meal instead of regular, or other passive aggressive (?) comments like ""I've only taken one bite and I'm already so full, idk how you do it."" They rubbed me the wrong way, but not wanting to possibly start an argument or seem sensitive I just bit my tongue. 

Well last month we met up, along with a friend of hers that I had only met once before. We went to a fast food place we frequent a lot, she and I both got the same regular meal and sat down to eat. I finished the meal in about 10-15 minutes (which I don't think is that fast for a burger and some fries but idk lol), when I finished she looked at me in shock and went ""Oh my god are you finished already? Jesus Christ!"" in a really overexaggerated surprised tone.

That was the kicker for me, especially when it was in front of someone I barely knew, I replied ""Well I'm sorry I'm not some dainty princess who takes a whole day to finish a single crumb! Maybe if you spent less time commenting on how I eat you'd be able to finish your own food quicker, acting like the fucking food police."" They both just looked at me in shocked silence (I was just as shocked as they were tbh), I got up quickly because I could feel tears in my eyes and left. In all honesty I expected her to message me later and apologize but she didn't, and I didn't feel like messaging her first.

We haven't spoken since then and I'm starting to think that I shouldn'tve reacted the way I did. I don't see why she'd go out of her way to upset me so I've realised now that I overreacted but I'm still pretty upset with her so idk what to do.

To clarify, I eat normally, mouth closed and everything. And I don't shovel food in my mouth. I'm slightly chubbier than average but I'm not overweight and never have been. I also have an ed, which she knows, which is why any comments on my eating habits bother me so much.",,1,1,1.0
569,Anxious-Bus-677,AITA for wanting to get rid of one of our cats?,"Four years ago I and my husband adopted a small kitten (2 months old). We were in love with her and we did everything to take care of her and keep her happy and loved. But, with time,  she became a spoiled and destructive b*tch. She always seemed bored, malicious and misbehaving.  She kept breaking things and scratching furniture and eating cables and then throwing up in the entire house. We had to change the power cable of washing machine because she destroyed it. She destroyed two sofas.  She doesn't accept any rule, she does only what she wants. She is screaming at the door is she sees you are busy and she does things on her way all the time. She is clever, she seems to understand what she is allowed to do and what's forbidden because when she does something wrong she immediately runs and hides.
We thought she was unhappy and bored because we didn't give her enough attention (we both worked 8 hrs. Per day) and maybe she need a friend so we adopted one more cat. The second one is calm, friendly, and agreeable but she doesn't care about hygiene. She is always dirty, her butt is always dirty and she has problems with some glands, I didn't understand very well what is the problem but sometimes she is eliminating a horrible-smelling liquid all over the house. The smell is so terrible that it is hard to get rid of it. The doctor said it is because she doesn't clean herself properly when going to the litter box. 
So, at the moment,  we have a one year toddler and two cats in a 60m2 apartment. The first cat never changed, she is disagreeable, bored, and malicious. She seems to hate me. She never plays with my baby and even attacks him if he wants to play with her. (The other cat is very friendly with the baby). The first cat is vomiting all over the house approx. 4 days in a week (not because she has a health problem but because she is eating all kinds of things like toys or paper, flowers, and I have to clean after her. I have to clean their litter box, I have to mop every f*cking day because they are throwing silicate all over the house and make paw prints and hair everywhere. I have to keep all the doors shut because she is getting on the table or the stove and I don't want hair in my food. I am exhausted because my baby is having temper tantrums and i fell I can’t take it anymore. I want to get rid of the first cat but my husband loves her and i know how hard  it will be for him. He doesn't understand why I changed my mind, because I loved her too.  He said if I am unhappy I can get rid of one of them (the nice one) only if I find a good family but nobody will adopt a four-year-old cat... And I am sure that after that my husband will be unhappy. 

AITA for wanting to get rid of a cat that makes my life a nightmare, especially now when I have a moody toddler in the house?",,1,1,1.0
571,Ok_Confection208,WIBTAH if i told my friends that I'll have to take a year break because of them?,"I should've joined university this year. In the country i live, we have to give exams for joining respective majors and according to the marks we get we'll be given ranks and only the ones in the higher rank get to study in a respective college. And there's a system of quota where they take students of underprivileged groups regardless of the rank. 
So Two of my  friends and I gave the exams and one of them was in a higher rank than me but the another one was like in the lowest rank. Today i found out that they both have already been admitted to the college while I'm still stuck. 
So turns out that they filled up the quota form without even telling me. The friend with the lowest rank got admitted with the help of quota and the other one because of her rank. My friend told me that she asked the college coordinator but he told her that we were not eligible for the quota. I believed her and didn't think much of it. And now that the forms have closed she tells me that she got admission due to the quota.
  So today i went to the college and asked the dean about it and he told me that i was eligible for the quota and if i had filled up the form i would've been in the 1st rank and i could have got a 50% scholarship. I felt my world sink. And he told me that the chances of me being selected for the college is very rare. And I won't get a seat this year. Now i have to take a gap year even though i don't want to. 
I want to confront them about why they didn't tell me anything and that i was excluded from such an important thing. But i feel like it'll make me look like I'm being jealous that they got the seat and I didn't. I'm genuinely happy for them but i can't help but feel betrayed. 
So WIBTAH if i blame them for the year of study and experience i will lose now? We've known eachother for like 8 years and we've always been close. I think it's my fault for not doing enough research and blindly trusting them but how could I not when I've spent all these years with them? I'm very conflicted with this.",,1,1,1.0
572,Rin_Rinhatesyoulol,"AITA for telling my mum to ""cut of the umbilical cord already?!""","Hello reddit so this is my first time doing this and im not too sure how this works but heres nothing

For context I F 16 am the eldest out of 6 siblings,
F 14, M 13, M 8, M 6 and M 5. 
Now M 8 was my mothers rainbow baby and she's always coddled him when he was younger what was fine but it just got worse as the years went on and he's now starting to show signs of being obsessed with her whenever any of us talk to her for more than 10 minutes he will glare at us and start to do anything to have the attention on him again. It's ok if he leaves the house to e.g. go shopping with my dad school or going round a freinds house but a soon my mum steps one foot out of the house he has to know where she's going who she's going with and how long she'll gone and if she's gone for more than 12 minutes he'll start to kick and scream until she comes home and she'll coddle him and get him whatever he wants. It's got to the point where none of us kids want to be around our mum because he has to be there otherwise he'll have a meltdown even my dad has had enough but he doesn't want to start an argument with my mum 
But this past week its been unbearable and it got to the point where I yelled at my mum cut of the umbilical cord already?! 
So am I the asshole??",,1,1,1.0
573,Most-Satisfaction119,AITA for being disappointed in my christmas gift?,"So, before, during and after Christmas i helped a mate of mine with his move. I basically filled and built half their apartment, and my christmas gift to them was a fancy little table they wanted, for like 50 bucks.

Thing is, 4 days after Christmas he got me... a cup. A 15€ masters of the universe cup, because ""i like masters of the universe so much"" (i showed him a skeletor meme once).

I tried hiding it because just openly showing disappointment would be rude, but it seems i kinda failed. I know christmas gifts aren't supposed to be a transaction, but i still feel like i was just an afterthought, after helping them for a week straight.",,1,1,1.0
574,Trick-Acadia293,AITA for trading up a birthday gift my SO and his daughters picked out?,"This was a couple years ago now and at the time my SO said it was fine to trade in the earrings for something I really wanted. He got them at Shane Co and I traded them up, basically matching the $420 he spent and getting diamond studs that I love and wear daily. I can also at anytime trade these ones up for something else.

Recently, he made a comment about how it was rude to trade in the earrings him and his youngest daughter (11 at the time) had picked for my birthday. Prior to buying the earrings that they picked out online we had discussed stud earrings in my birthstone color which is a dark blue sapphire. The ones they picked out were a light blue oval shape with a picture frame type of metal around them. Very old school looking and something I would never have worn. They looked like earrings my Grandma would wear.

Now I’m wondering if I’m the AH for returning them and picking something out that I actually like. I never thought I was the AH because he said it was fine at the time but obviously he thinks I’m the AH.",,1,1,1.0
575,ItsjustJim621,AITA for not retrieving my one groomsman’s tux?,"Ok, so short story: I got married this past Friday (yay me).
Anyway, I had four guys in my part of the bridal party. Best Man (BM), groomsmen 1, 2, and 3. (g1, g2, g3)

I’d like to say that I went above and beyond in catering to them so they wouldn’t have to shell out a bunch of money to be a part of my wedding. In good faith, I paid for half of their tux rentals, and I booked a double room for two nights so myself and the two of the groomsmen could stay in the night before the wedding, we all could get ready in the day of, and they could stay there the night of the wedding while I transferred over to the bridal suite.

Anyway, BM and G3 were responsible and picked up their tuxes. G1 and G2 said they were running a bit late and it would’ve been a stretch to get to rehearsal on time so I picked their tuxes up, and paid for the balance (they gave that to me via Venmo)

Anyway, wedding day comes and it’s a good blur. G1 and G3 stayed in the double room wedding night while G2 went up to the room, changed into street clothes and left bc he didn’t feel good.

On Sunday, G3 gets a call from the hotel saying that someone forgot their tux in the closet.
I want to blame G2 for not mentioning to G1 or G3 that he left the tux in the closet, but I also need to have G1 and G3 shoulder some of the blame for not being thorough with checking the room before they left.

G2 lives maybe a half hour to 40 minutes away in a neighboring state. I live 15 minutes from the town where the hotel is. G3 passes the town where the hotel is on his way to work everyday and works within 10 minutes of the tux rental location.

I was asked by G2 to help him out and get the tux, but I politely explained that I did more than my fair share and being a grown adult, it was his deal to figure out.

AITA for refusing to try to help in the situation?",,1,1,1.0
580,luctian,AITA: Neighbourhood drama,"Going to my mailbox today I saw one of the neighbour's mailbox open with the key in. After waiting for a while nobody showed up. Trying to be neighbourly I thought I'd go and return the keys including probably the house key.

I went up to their storm door. I have never had any prior interactions with this neighbour. The couple inside SAW me and chose to ignore me, then tried to wave me off from the inside of the house like I'm a salesman at their door. I was like ok, rude but they didn't know who I was so fair. I started to wave the keys from the outside the storm door to show them why I was there. After forever they finally came to the door, not even opening it first. Then they opened a small crack of the house door but not the storm door and was like ""that's the mailbox key?"" I said ""ya, I'm trying to give it back"". And he said ""Just leave it at the door thank you."" like I was their secretary. 

I'm baffled that they didn't even have the curtesy to open the storm door. Part of me was mad because nobody talks to each other in this neighbourhood and there is no sense of community. I was hoping to bring a positive change and was met with a cold shoulder. I just tossed the keys on the ground and left. The lady gasped ""OMG"" in disbelief.",,1,1,1.0
581,tjk1701,AITA For Changing Temperature When Only Wife Is Home,"My wife and I just bought a house.  Like many home owners, we are on a budget.  My wife and I split the bills though I have taken a lead on trying to save money.  Our home is expensive to heat.  When I leave for work at 4 in the morning, my wife turns the thermostat from 68 up to 74.

Instead of fighting, I use Google Nest to reset the temperature back to 68.  

My coworkers think I am the ahole because I am changing the temperature even though I'm not home.  I would never call my blushing bride an ahole.  But I think she is wrong to raise the temperature when she knows the money comes out of our combined budget.  

She has not called me out for lowering the temperature on her remotely.  I'm not even sure if she knows I'm doing this.

Am I the AHole for lowing the temperature on our home when my wife is home and I am not?",,1,1,1.0
589,throwaway31096,WIBTA for asking the front desk of an apartment complex I don't live in (but visit daily as part of my job) about a car that regularly takes up a whole spot that is suppose to fit two?,"So like I said in the title, I do not live in this apartment complex that is in the busy downtown area here. I'm a professional dog walker and I have a client who lives there that I walk every weekday.

The parking spot in question is a sectioned off bit of a small side road next to the apartment complex. The sectioned off bit is marked with signs saying ""Future Resident Parking"", and the rest of the small side road is marked with ""No Parking"" and ""Ticketing and Towing Enforced"" signs. The spot is not specifically marked with any paint lines, but is long enough to easily fit two cars. I was explicitly told by the apartment complex staff that work related visitors are allowed to park in that spot, such as cleaning services, delivery drivers, or in my case dog walkers.

The car in question is a black Ford Mustang with a blue handicap sign hanging from the rearview mirror. For about 4-5 months now I will see this car parked in the spot at least 3 out 5 days I visit, sometime even all 5 days. And they always park in the middle of the spot, leaving no room in front or behind him to allow a second car to park, so I've seen others having to park in the no parking sections.

The reason it bothers me is since the car takes up the whole spot, I either have to waste time driving around the busy downtown area to find a parking spot or risk parking in the no parking sections of the small side road. This gets regularly annoying as I have a very packed daily schedule of other walks that I need to get to, so having to waste time finding parking and running back from and to my car causes me to fall behind schedule and be late to the rest of my walks. I'm sure it's also an inconvenience for other work related visitors who need to park there as well.

I don't believe the owner of the car is a potential future resident as this has been going on almost daily for almost half a year now. For all I know, they may just be another work related visitors like me. But part of me also thinks that they're a resident who wants to park in a more convenient spot for themself instead of down in the parking garage below the apartment complex.

Again, it bothers me because they purposely park in way that takes up the whole spot when there's plenty of room, and thus regularly put me behind on my work schedule. But I also feel like I don't really have a right to complain about it since I don't actually live in that apartment complex, I'm just a regular visitor. So, WIBTA for asking and inquiring about said car?",,1,1,1.0
591,cutebabybear,AITA for being upset at my friend for not getting me a gift?,"Ok, so I’m 15f and my friend is 14f. Because of religious reasons my family don’t celebrate Christmas. I wish we did but that’s a different story. Well this year my friend said she was going to get me a gift if it’s ok. I said it’s ok. It would honestly e my first real Christmas gift. Well that never happened. I know that it’s her choice and I’m not entitled to it. Im just a little disappointed I guess. And no I didn’t get her anything. I didn’t say anything directly to her but I’m sure she’ll find this post. So anyway AITA?",,1,1,1.0
593,frogerh_,AITAH to ask my roommate to let me know when her ex is flying in to stay with us?,"My roommate has a habit of never telling me when she invites people to our apartment. I frequently come home from work or class to someone I've never met on our couch. I'm fine with that, I just wish I was told so I could clean up my room or make sure my bedroom door is at least closed. ( she also has the habit of showing people my room and my pets without asking) So this week her ex boyfriend is staying over our place. She didn't tell me and I came home to see someone I don't particularly like eating the food I bought and made. I asked her for the future if she could give me at least a weeks notice if someone is going to be sleeping at our place for a few days. I told her I don't care who she brings home. I'd just like a heads up. I don't like to be surprised when it comes to my comfort in the place that I live. I always let her know when i bring over a friend at least a day or so in advance. And i usually time it to where shes not home. Maybe its just how i was raised but to me it's common curiosity to let your roommate  know when someone will be over. She got huffy with me and now seems upset. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
595,SpendCheap,AITA for telling my family they cannot possibly understand my struggles?,"II got a bad performance review at work, with a ""below level"" in two categories for a project I helped with 1.5-3 months into my role at the company.

I spoke to the reviewer, who said that it was OK to get that review and that the ""at level"" is to measure where experienced employees should be, but that I should work on my efficiency and taking ownership of my workstreams.

I freaked out and started editing my resume for new positions and to get a new job. I applied to 40 positions today.

My dad was like, ""Sounds rough. Maybe you should tough it out, but it's your career so good luck; hope you find a new gig soon.""

However, his SO was very annoying and said some shit about not giving up.

She said that when she was starting out in her career, she was terrible, but now she's amazing and highly regarded, and that ""everyone struggles in their career at some point.""

I told my family that I've literally already tanked my reputation at the company since we have to network to get new work instead of being assigned work and they got so angry at me and said that I wasn't even listening.",,1,1,1.0
596,crashkg,AITA for calling a soccer mom a Karen?,"We were at an away soccer game sitting in the stands, everyone kind of knows each other since our kids have been playing in the same area from 8 years old. In some sense it was a reunion for parents who used to hang out on the sidelines together. This woman sitting in front of me asked us to move since she was rooting for the home team and we were the away team. There were no designated areas for seating, just bleachers. Some parents moved over 5' across the steps between the bleachers, but I stayed put. 
Throughout the game all the parents were very positive in their cheering and polite with each other, especially since it's a pretty small community and our kids have been on other teams together. At halftime the lady stood up and waved her arms about and yelled, can all the Away School parents move over to the other side of the bleachers. I had enough at that point and said, sit down Karen. My wife was mortified.",,1,1,1.0
605,Civil-Day-8720,AITA for saying i don’t like my coworker.,"At work today my (18NB) coworker “John” (15M) told me he doesn’t support non-binary people or anyone using they/them pronouns.
I was joking around with another coworker “Steve” about being homophobic (i am open about being gay at work). When John cut in and said “I’m cool with the LGBT, except bisexuals. I don’t like people that use pronouns”. Upon further elaboration I realised John meant non-binary people.
I asked him to explain further and realised he couldn’t even define what a pronoun is saying “it’s to complicated”.
After every statement John would follow it with “i have a friend who is non-binary and i accept *him*”. 
I pressed further about his friend to try and understand why he was being so transphobic in-front of me, as it’s not a secret that I’m enby.
John simply stated “i accept its *his* choice but i don’t support those people”
followed with “i don’t like how they believe they are ‘something other’” and “my friend isn’t very … okay in the head”

I turned around to talk to Steve who said i should come out to John to try understand further. I was scared but Steve really encouraged me.

It went a little like:
Me: “You realise i’m non-binary right?”
John: “Yeah”
Me: “But your saying you don’t support non-binary people, i’m a non-binary person”
John: “Well i have to accept it because it’s your decision, but i don’t support using pronouns or being non-binary”
Me: “You realise that’s really transphobic right?”
John: “I thought you said you were homophobic?”
Me: “That was sarcastic, I’m gay and trans… it’s a joke about hating myself”
John: “Oh, well this hasn’t changed your view on me right?”
Me: “Of course it has.”
John: “In a negative way?”
Me: “Yeah. I don’t really like you anymore.”

Me and John didn’t talk for the rest of the shift. I feel as though it’s partially my fault for joking about being homophobic and opening the conversation to the gender debate. I feel i went too far by saying i don’t like him, but i can’t view him the same anymore, much less meet his eyes.

tldr:
AITA for telling my coworker i don’t like him anymore because he was being transphobic? He’s young and i feel i should’ve just been the bigger person.",,1,1,1.0
606,Skyllery,AITA for telling my extended family traitors and saying I would spill the big family secret online?,"A couple of years ago my dad and I learned from his brother that he (the brother) slept with my mom and is likely my biological father. I was 16 then. It had been just me and dad since I was 3 when my mom died. His brother's wife confirmed she knew about this and that he was honest with her when they got serious with each other. Dad threw his brother out of the house and told him he never wanted to see him again. He told us he had wanted the truth out so I could get to know him as my father and enjoy having my parents in my life. I told him I had my parent, my dad, and he was all I needed. His wife tried to talk me into giving it a shot. She said they had learned not that long before that they could not have a child together and IVF would not help with that so they were trying to right a wrong. I told her it was sick to think they could take me from dad simply because they couldn't have a kid of their own.

My dad and I decided not to find out for sure. Neither of believes it will change anything and we don't want to give his brother any kind of proof that I'm biologically his.

The whole thing had a lot of fallout. His brother tried to say he held it in for so long for my dad, so he wouldn't leave him without anything after mom died. Dad said if that were true he would have kept it secret forever and honestly, I agree with that.

I cut dad's brother and his wife off. My grandparents and my aunt have been all out of sorts ever since this all happened. They talk mostly to my dad about it but in the last few months have been asking me to consider a relationship with ""my father and stepmother"" and trying to heal the family. My aunt said there's nothing wrong with having two dads. I told her that man is not my dad and I don't care what a DNA test would say.

About a week ago my grandparents asked if I could come over to help them with something. They surprised me by having my aunt, their son and his wife there. All of them wanted to talk me into reconciling and letting them be my parents. I was so mad. They told me dad should be encouraging this and it's wrong that he's denying me the chance to have a real relationship with my biological father. I told them they were all fucking traitors, that anyone who would act like this toward my dad who did nothing wrong were awful people. I told them to leave me alone and if they don't, I'll just spill the dirty family secret all over the internet and they can deal with being publicly shamed.

Ever since I stormed out after that I have been getting text after text saying I was behaving like a child and should not have threatened to spill a family secret. My dad blocked his parents and sister after learning what they said and did.

I do kinda wonder if I went too far. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
607,Kyoukon,"WIBTA if I told my sister if she can afford a PS5, she can start paying me back?","I (25F) live at home with my parents, while Mary (30F) lives alone in the same city. Mary, for various reasons, finds herself financially struggling often. She’s supported by government benefits and occasional payments from me, Mum and Dad. It’s mostly me, because both my parents have said several times that they’re fed up of her requesting money, and at this point Mary feels too guilty to ask them most of the time. There have been multiple occasions in the past few months where she’s called telling me she doesn’t have enough money to get transport to work or to feed herself for the week, and I’m the only person she can call on.

While she occasionally makes smaller attempts to repay some money, it inevitably ends in her having to ask for it back and more within a month. Calculating transactions across five years, I’ve trickled out £7k to her. Not the most, but given that that many spans through the pandemic and my being in university or unemployed, it was certainly money that was missed. I don’t bring it up to Mary often because I can see that it upsets her, but about twice a year I’ll mention that I hope this loaning chain stops soon. She’s recently gotten a full-time job, which has reduced but not stopped the requests.

Today, she called me on my lunch break, obviously very excited. She announced that she’d bought a PS5 through a pay monthly plan. Any gamer knows that this console has been hard to get at a decent price thanks to supply chain issues and scalpers, so she jumped at the chance to buy a (non-digital) console and a game for it – a purchase that’s easily over £500. She noted that I didn’t sound as excited as her. I gently explained that I’m happy she got something she was after for so long and excused myself a few minutes later.

Human beings deserve enrichment, and I don’t believe a struggling person deserves to go without luxuries. And yet, from the moment she told me the news, I found myself thinking that I’m not seeing any of my money back any time soon, so dropped the call before I said anything regretful. She already has (my old, given to her on request after hers broke) PS4 and access to my Steam library, but is set to replace it with a console with games that run for £50 apiece new. I’m planning to start a discussion later in the month about the outstanding balance she keeps claiming she’ll pay back, but it could very easily be seen as an attack on her for spending her paycheck enjoying herself. WIBTA for doing this?",,1,1,1.0
609,Throw_away_1011_,AITA for telling my cousin I didn't care about his stupid figurine after he destroyed my book?,"Before I start: this is a petty discussion and I am probably the AH simply for disturbing all of you with this problem. I will try to make it short.

I write as a hobby since I was little. It started as a way to cope with the many problems of my life and I kept doing because I liked it.

I have a cousin, Carl (26 M), who love figurines since he was a child. I never particularly cared about those kind of things but, since we were children and we lived close to each other, we always played together and he often showed me his figurines, explaining me how he got them, from what show/film/anime/whatever they are from, etc etc. I never cared about it but I saw that being able to talk about his passion with someone else made him happy so I always tried to pay close attention and to fake interest. His passion for figurine is still alive today. The garage in his home is basically filled in figurine and he even bought a 3d printer to print some gadget or figurine he wanted bigger.

Now, while I was in college I had barely any time to write but I started spending more time into it once I was close to my graduation and resumed writing consistently the book I had started when I was 20. 

I began to talk to Carl about the story I was writing and he initially seemed interested, then completely lost interest so I stopped mentioning it to him. 

Yesterday I completed my book and decided to print a physical copy myself ( hard cover, payed someone to draw a cover. It looked exactly like a book you could find in a library). It was my treasure, a proof that I achieved something.

I brought it to my family house, where a bunch of my relatives from both side of the family were staying. They were all enthusiast about the book, about me completing it after struggling with it for years. They even began to ask if I had any intention to bring it to an editor to publish it officially.

Evidently Carl got upset because everybody was talking about a book he didn't care about so he suddenly took the book, said he was sick of hearing us talk about it and threw it out of the window. It was raining outside and the book landed in a puddle. It rushed to pick it up but it was completely ruined.

I snapped, I began to yell at him and told him the truth: that for years I had spent hours listening about his stupid figurines I didn't care about and that he was such an AH for his actions. I told him I hoped his whole collection get destroyed in a fire.

Today his parents came to me and refunded me the money for the book and apologized for his behavior. 

Now that I'm calm and collected though, I realize I may have overreacted. He cared about having someone to talk about his figurine and I was happy seeing him happy when he talked about them. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
610,snick1899,AITA for telling my friend to kick her addict BF out?,"A friend of mine has been dating a guy for about 6 months who is in recovery. He has already moved in with her and has recently relapsed.  I'm not sure what all he is using, but she has found evidence that he is likely smoking crack and addicted to some prescribed meds (she didn't say what the meds were). He is refusing in-patient treatment but has agreed to at-home drug tests (He said he hates for her to waste her money on them, indicating that he will do them if she pays for them).  She is a nurse, so having illegal drugs in her home could come at the cost of her nursing license and her career.  He has a support system of family and friends who have gone through this with him in the past, but she is afraid is she makes him leave that he will OD.  I told her that he has options to get help and support and she is risking too much for a guy she has only known for 6 months.  Naturally, she is pissed that I'm not supporting her decision.  Am I the asshole?  Should I have just kept my mouth shut?",,1,1,1.0
611,TaxiAITAThrowaway,AITA for not arriving to the hospital immediately after I was informed about an emergency?,"I work as a taxi driver and had a costumer at that moment when my mother called me to inform that my dad had an emergency and was hospitalized. I told my mom that I'm at work and will be at the hospital as soon as I can and hang up. 

The hospital my dad was in is pretty far from the destination of my costumer, but we were almost gettinf there when my mom called me. I decided that I will drop off the costumer first as I figured that it would be unprofessional of me to just tell her to get out of the car because of an emergency. I was nervous during the whole ride but eventually dropped the costumer off 10 minutes after I received the call and rushed to the hospital.

I got there and my dad was sleeping and the nurse told me that he's alright, however my mom, younger brother and older sister all snapped at me for being almost 40 minutes late to see my dad and ""prioritizing work over family"" (apart from my work there was also terrible traffic on the streets). They also critiqued me for bringing nothing to my dad, like food and water, even though all of them brought some and I think it would be more than enough for him when he wakes up and I could always get him something later.

Aside from my family, I also feel some kind of guilt for not being there immediately. Only thing that relieves me is that my dad is fine. 

So Reddit, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
612,WashNeat6160,AITA for being hesitant about my mom having her “friend” over?,"This is only my second time posting on here, and I am on mobile so please bare with me. Also, please don’t post this on other platforms. 

To give background my mother has been separated from my father for about three years. We live in two different states and safe to say, I haven’t always been okay with the idea of my mom remarrying/ being in a totally different relationship. The first time my mom brought it up, it was a whole thing (something i’ve since apologized for and don’t wish to go into detail about. It was a hard time for me and my family). Since then, however, i’ve been trying to warm up to the idea because I get it, my mom has four kids and no romantic person to be with. We work and are living our lives so she’s alone sometimes. 

Now to lead onto the main story, my mom had an appointment yesterday and I(18F) was with her the whole day since I was off. We also had a lot of running around to do so she could get her car back, it was just a full, but fun day. We came home and she asked me if I minded someone coming over. 

I asked if it was her “friend”. And by friend I mean the person she is seeing. She said yes, and I was a little apprehensive, which she then said he’s going to stay for only an hour and “It’s not like he’ll be in your room.” 

She was completely right, seeing as I could just shut my door and turn up my music if I didn’t want to hear his voice. So, I started cleaning up so the house look presentable when she told me not to worry about it, he’s not coming. 

I felt really bad then, and told her I hope I wasn’t standing in the way of anything and if she was sure. She has brought up before where she has had to cater to me and my siblings feelings and how she feels like she can’t have a relationship. But, she simply said it was fine and the rest of the day was fine.

Come this morning, I wake up to a text message from her basically stating from this point on she isn’t going to stop from having a personal relationship and she felt upset that she couldn’t have this person over for a certain amount of time because of “us” (which is more like me since I was the only home at the time). And how she was going to start living her life. 

Needless to say I was blindsided since I thought all was good,  but I suppose not. I texted her to ask why didn’t she bring this up yesterday, no response since. 

I wanted to know if I am the asshole for this?",,1,1,1.0
615,stepsispsychodrama,AITA for telling my stepsister we are all bored of her psychoanalysing us?,"I (30F) have a stepsister called Bella, also 30. Her dad and my mum got together when we were 16.Bella was very upset about her parents' divorce and was very hostile to my mother so obviously, she and I weren't going to be on the best of terms, and as we got older we just didn't bond. I always got along well with her two brothers, Jake and Max, and we're still close.

Over the last year, Bella has been reading a lot about psychology and is always bringing up what she thinks everyone else's issues are. She will send articles about narcissistic parents, golden children, scapegoats, triangulation, etc. to our family group chat with messages like ""@(sibling) this is you"" or ""isn't this like Mum"" (their bio mum). Jake, Max, and my stepdad all say it annoys them that all she wants to talk about it the past. She is like this in person, too. No matter how many times we smile and nod and sometimes even say we are not interested in armchair therapy from her, she just says she has a right to express her feelings and she's trying to start a dialogue. Part of her whole thing is deciding that her dad basically replaced her with me because she reminds him of her mother, and that because he loves my mum and never loved hers, I am his favourite/golden child. 

This all came to a head over Christmas, when Bella noticed the family photos my parents had on a shelf in their dining room. She asked where the picture of her and her dad at her graduation was, and he said they'd moved it to make room for a picture of me and him and my mum at my wedding, and her graduation photo was now in the lounge. Bella scoffed and sneered 'of course'. Over lunch, I was talking about a photoshoot I was working on, and Bella chimed in about how our parents will probably replace more photos of her with ones from my photoshoot. I told her this makes no sense because the photos aren't even going to be of me, and she just said it didn't matter, she was invisible when I was around and that I took her place in everyone's life - her dad's, her brothers', even my husband.

At this point I just snapped and said that that was an absurd accusation when she makes every family conversation about herself, and while we all appreciate she is deeply hurt by a lot of things, we're all sick of being psychoanalysed. I said that her obsession with me was ridiculous, because the only person I've ever head compare us is her, and that she needs to find someone qualified and appropriate to discuss these hurt feelings with and stop suffocating us all with her feelings because we're all bored. Jake just started laughing and Max shouted 'thank God someone said it', but Bella burst into tears and left the table. She went home early and has since removed herself from the group chat and isn't talking to her dad or brothers. While I stand by the points I made, I didn't mean to isolate her from her family, so I'm starting to wonder if I'm the AH.",,1,1,1.0
618,Big-Pineapple599,AITA for not wanting SIL to invite friends to my wedding drinks?,"I'm due to get married in 3 weeks. Since I'm heavily pregnant and dont want to spend alot of money me and husband to be decided to do a small gathering for closest family. We were thinking about inviting our guests to drinks after. (We are having small dinner at restaurant)(My family wont come as they live abroad) its basically just partners family, we wanted to invite his uncles and cousins to the drinks to celebrate with us. Yesterday SIL announced that she has invited her friend to the drinks since it's not the actual wedding (her boyfriend is her +1)and it's happening in a public place, she didnt even ask us. Me heavily pregnant with anxiety and hormones got very angry that she didnt consider asking me or partner if it's ok and just invited a friend who I dont know and partner only knows a little and I'm not ok with it. SIL and MIL think it's ok since it's just 'the drinks' and not ceremoney/dinner shes going to but I feel very disrespected.. partner sided with his family (like he always does) and said I'm over reacting and I should just get over it. 15 hrs later I'm still very upset and barely spoke to my partner as I'm upset he didnt support me and didnt even tell his sister she shouldn't invite people to our party without discussing it with us first. In laws are calling me rude and asshole and said I should be grateful that someone wants to celebrate my wedding. I just dont want my guests to invite their friends who I dont know to my party. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
619,snboylan,AITA for reacting this way when my husband refused to make our daughters lunch?,"My (26F) husband (26M) and I have a 2.5 year old daughter. Things haven’t been great in our house recently. We have let things get away from us and so the house is a mess and things are very chaotic. We’re also coming off of having both been sick last week. My husband also works nights 4 days of the week while I work full time days. Our daughter goes to preschool. This past week we were talking and I asked him if he would be willing to start making our daughters lunch and putting her breakfast in the toaster when he gets home in the morning because it would make it so much easier for me in the morning and would help me get our daughter and myself out the door on time (I’m 9 weeks pregnant and have been so exhausted I’ve been getting up late and have started being late to work, etc.). He said he would start doing that with the caveat that I make sure the kitchen is clean the night before. I agreed and thanked him profusely because for me that would make such a difference. Fast forward to last night when he was leaving for work (first night he had worked since we had that conversation). As he is leaving for work he tells me not to worry about doing the kitchen and to focus on getting the Christmas decorations taken down since the tree pickup in our neighborhood was the next day. I agreed and took care of it. This morning I hear him come in and shout down to remind him to start breakfast/lunch while I get our daughter ready. He says “I’m not doing it this morning. I’m exhausted and you are capable of taking care of it.” I got upset and reminded him that he said he would start doing it and how much it meant to me that he would do it. He replied that “we said we would start taking care of a lot of things and the house is still a mess and he would start going it but not today.” He also said that “he doesn’t know what we had for lunches and I’m the one that knows what we have anyway” and that “[I] didn’t even clean the kitchen.” I responded that he had promised to do this and I didn’t do the kitchen because he TOLD ME NOT TO. It got heated and ended with me in tears and him telling me to “get out of here.” I left him and went back to getting our daughter ready. I heard him stomp downstairs and make our daughters lunch while slamming things and making a ton of noise then walk back upstairs and slam the door. I know it was only the first day after we had agreed so maybe I should have cut him a break. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
620,babydollbear,AITA for thinking GFs dad is the AH,"So me (26F) and girlfriend (28F) are expecting our first baby in March of this year, she is carrying the baby and we used a sperm donor. This means that although I can't imagine loving anybody more than I love that little boy, he isn't biologically connected to me. Well my mum has paid for a lot of big items for our child such as a steriliser, cot bed and our travel system which we absolutely didn't expect but she insisted on. Her dad who earns considerably more has made it very clear he's unwilling to buy anything. This is his first and likely only grandchild. We don't expect anything from either my mum or her dad but he's speaking about the small items totalling less than £50 like he's giving us the whole world he's also been heard by myself telling my girlfriend that while me and my mum are paying for everything to just enjoy it. Hes also made comments to her saying to choose more expensive items (which she hasn't done)

He has also gone to the effort to make me feel excluded from his family such as leaving me out of events and saying that he wants our son to have his last name even though me and girlfriend had previously decided on my last name for when we get married/have children.

I told her all of this yesterday as I had to get it off of my chest but she thinks I'm TA for comparing 'gifts' I'll admit I got angry and said something like ""he can afford to drink in the pub everyday but can't afford to so much as buy a onesie or bottle for his grandson"" but I've held it in since we conceived. I'll admit I'm TA for upsetting her but I feel like my feelings are valid.",,1,1,1.0
622,worldsokayestsis,AITA for not wanting my younger brother to use my stuff?,"I have a modest collection of records, tapes, and CDs, some of which I inherited from my older sister, who inherited them from our late mother, but the majority of which I bought for myself with my own money when I was a teenager. I don't really listen to them as much as I did when I was younger, instead, I mostly just keep them stored away until the mood hit, or I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. But recently, my younger brother has been taking them without asking, even after I explicitly told him not to.

My grandmother, who raised us after our mother died, keeps acting like it isn't a big a deal, and telling me that I'm overreacting, and that I should be more willing to share my stuff with him like my older sister used to share hers with me. She says that I'm just being selfish when I try to tell her that it isn't the same.

But it isn't the same.

When my brother was younger, I gave him all of the books and toys that my older sister gave to me when I was his age, wanting him to have that connection to our late mother, who was the one who bought them all.

And he destroyed literally all of them.

Things that my older sister painstakingly took care of over the years before passing them on to me, and I took careful care of until passing on to him, he treated like it was nothing.

He doesn't even take care of his own things, so how can I trust him to take care of my things? But regardless of that, I never gave him permission to take my stuff, in fact, after the first time it happened, I literally told him not to do it again, yet he keeps doing it, and it's becoming really frustrating because not only is he not listening to me or respecting my boundaries, but my grandmother isn't doing anything about it.

When my older sister passed on some of the collection to me, there were a few that she didn't want to part with, so she kept them, and I either bought my own copy, our made mixed tapes with my favorite tracks. Why can't he do the same? Am I being unreasonable?",,1,1,1.0
623,NewGhost14,AITA for deleting a friend out of my life?,"Last year, I became close friends with a person I’ve known casually for more than 10 years, Max. 

Max is a well-liked but person. I’ve never once heard a bad thing about them.

Max came on a group vacation with my friends and I. Max loved it, and we bonded over it. Max became very close with several others in our group.

Leading up to the vacation, Max and I spent lots of time together; hanging out with the group, going shopping, going to eat, all kinds of things. 

After the vacation, I saw Max less and less. Sometimes they’d need to “rest from work,” (understandable), sometimes they’d just say no, and sometimes they’d just ignore my message. 

The thing that really hurt was Max leading me on about hanging out or coming to an event, and then ghosting. 

Here’s two notable times: I hosted a themed dinner party. Max was super excited to attend. They picked out their outfit and sent me photos. We texted all throughout the week about the party. The evening of the party, Max never arrived and never answered any texts. (I didn’t worry, because Max has done this previously). 

On NYE, I held a party for the group. One person in the group is a musician, and I asked them to play for us. Max was very excited about the party. A few weeks out, Max started texting both myself and the other friend, asking for all of the details about the music set, the location, etc. Max also RSVPd on the digital invite. 

Max never showed, nor did they answer any texts that evening. 

This is where I may be the AH: After I realized Max was ghosting me again, I was done. I left our chats, and I removed/unfollowed Max everywhere. They haven’t spoken to me since.

I’m not sure if I made the right decision. I love Max dearly and we shared such good times together. I felt like Max was treating my friendship as “optional.” 

Reddit, was I the AH for deleting Max, potentially out of my life for their continual ghosting, despite them being a great friend in the past year?",,1,1,1.0
624,Crime-junkie-299,AITA for not wanting to change my wedding date even though the majority of my fiancé’s family might not be able to come?,"Okay so a little backstory before we get started my fiancé (23m) and myself (23f) got engaged on December 23rd 2022. We have been together since November 15th 2015. We agreed in 2020/2021 that we would get engaged in 22 and married in 23. So even though we just got engaged we (mostly myself) have been openly planning our wedding for a long while now. 

We decided to have our wedding on September 15th 2023 back in June of 2022. So our date has been picked out for a while. We chose this date for a few reason. Orginally it was going to be July 15th but we decided it would be too hot and changed it to September (we live in South Carolina and it’s an outdoor wedding). We also chose this date because our current anniversary is on 11/15/15 and we were 15 when our childhood crushes developed into something more. So having on a 15 has sentimental value. 

We have told many people about this date because I wanted to go ahead and find vendors, so that way when he proposed I could go ahead and book them since services tend to book out a year in advance. That being said, the second we got engaged I told our photographer/videographer (who I had been communicating with for a while now cause I loved their work and they were giving us a great deal) and our caterer to immediately send us over the contracts so we could get them set. Since our wedding is in football season and our caterers will cater for the UofSC football team I really wanted to make sure we had them booked. I am getting ready to make our save the dates this weekend so I can send them out by the end of January (I’m diying them so it will take a while). 

Well his mom just texted me this morning to inform me that since our wedding is on a Friday she doesn’t think any of her family will be able to come down from PA for the wedding, since they would have to take off Thursday to. This immediately crushed my heart because I am a big family oriented person and really want them there. 

But the issue is that I don’t know if it’s too late to move the date. If we did move it, we would have to move it up to august 26th cause I’m not about to have a Saturday wedding during football season. This would mean that we would not only lose a month of wedding planning time but we would also lose the sentimental value of having it on the 15th. 

This would also mean that I would have to move my bach week cause it’s currently in august. Which is also a big issue because I have other trips and wedding events in every single month between now and august, so I have no idea where I can move it to. 

But the biggest issue is that I don’t know if our photographer/videographer and caterer can even allow us to move without losing the money we put down. But again I really want his family there first and foremost. I honestly am stuck on what I should do. I haven’t had a chance to talk to him cause he has been at the airport working all morning. Would I be the Ashole if I didn’t move the date?",,1,1,1.0
626,Creative-Map-8833,AITA Roommate and Friemd Issue,"I moved from Canada to America recently after the death of my father and loss of my home. With only a couple thousand. I survived for two months without job or my name on an official lease until my friend, A introduced me to a girl, B, whom he intended to hook me up with as he felt uncomfortable with her advances. B and I eventually moved into an apartment together and she even got me a well paying job. After about three weeks of A constantly telling me he wasn’t interested in B and even felt a little uncomfortable around her, asking me to hang out with them as a buffer and offering to be a wingman, I did end up taking B to dinner… only for A to show up and start flirting back with her and leaning into her advances, drunkenly telling me on the roof that his school life was more stressful than my delocation and that he didn’t care that I liked B. They hooked up that night with A telling me that morning that he regretted his decision and was sorry because he felt like he betrayed me and that B wasn’t even good in bed. He said he wouldn’t have done this if he wasn’t drunk and said that he wouldn’t do it again… they are a couple now and he has been over every day, spending nights, consuming my power and food. A is not on the lease. I do not feel comfortable having him over every day.
B is infatuated with A. To the point where she lost one of her friends and her job (potentially) because of her fixation with A. When I asked her if she could limit having A over to maybe four times a week, they both got upset with me. B even forced his way into the apartment and death glared me as if I was the monster.

And I admit, maybe I am a little green eyed. Maybe I am in the wrong. Here my friends are, in a relationship and I don’t support it. I don’t think it’s healthy. But maybe I’m just mad at A. Maybe I just feel betrayed by someone I thought was a good friend. And I don’t know what to do, say, etc… Am I the Asshole here? What can I do better? I honestly just want this resolved.",,1,1,1.0
629,moongirl_18,AITA for having a situation-ship with my(19F) close friend’s(19F) crush?,"My friend’s crush(19M) suddenly comes up to me in class one day and asks for my number.As I had begun to feel attracted to him only a couple of weeks before he asked for my number,I was extremely elated.So, forgetting that he’s one of my close friend’s crush,I gave him my number and we started speaking over the phone.We clicked really well very quickly, and I feel a genuine connection with him.So we’ve been talking and he seems really into me.But one of my close friends has had a crush on him since 9th grade.They were best friends infact.But as he came to know about her having a crush on him,he cut her off since he never really felt attracted to her and thought it was best to cut her off since she’d keep expecting some sort of spark to happen.Back then, I had zero feelings for him, although I always thought he was an attractive guy in general.So when he cut her off,she used to cry her eyes out ranting about how cruel he was to literally cut her off from being best friends.I had been there the whole time, throughout her rants and I used to console her saying she deserves better.Then the pandemic hit and we got a little distant.After school reopened post covid, my friend started to rant about how she hates him and how she thinks he looks for excuses to strike up conversations with her. So even though she claims she lost all her feelings for him, we(me and a few of my other friends) can tell she’s still stuck on him.Now since I’m in a situation-ship, I’m feeling guilty thinking I might’ve backstabbed her.Her friendship matters to me and that’s why I’m concerned. One thing I want to mention is that, my friend developed another crush on this new student that came in recently and she assumed I had a crush on the new guy too.So she told one of our guy friends that she’s envious of me bc she thinks I can entice any guy I want and that I’ll bag the new guy if he comes to know I have a crush on him. Also, she doesn’t know about my situation-ship yet but she’ll find out sooner or later since I’ve started hanging around with him in school.",,1,1,1.0
630,HowlingWinds0525,AITA Best of 2022 - Most Persuasive Comment," 

\##\[Persuade Me!\](https://media.giphy.com/media/8m4R4j7XBVADECn4zg/giphy.gif)

One of the best parts of this sub is the diversity of the user base and how that diversity colors the judgments that we render. We come from nearly every corner of the globe, our ages range from 13 to 80+, and our life experiences shape the feedback that we give to OPs on their posts. There have been times when I came across a comment so well thought out and well written that it managed to completely change how I was viewing the overall situation. I’ve read some comments on the sub that have helped me to grow as a human being, and I will forever be grateful for the users who took the time to make those contributions. 

For this category, we want to know what comments you found the most persuasive. Did they change how you voted? Did they change how you viewed the conflict OP was experiencing? Did they change how you saw the world? If so, nominate them here!

\_\_\_

To enter your nomination, make a top-level comment here with the link to the comment you are nominating. To vote on your favorite, upvote the top-level comment that contains the link. Contest mode will stay on for the entire 2 weeks to keep things as fair as possible, so make sure that you pay attention and read through the comments so you’re not making a duplicate nomination.

At the end of 2 weeks the thread will be locked and contest mode will be turned off.

\_\_\_

\###Keep things civil. Rules still apply.",,0,1,1.0
632,Downtown-Sea1135,AITA for telling my mother she hasn't been a mother to me?,"When I (23f) was 11 years old, my parents divorced. There was no cheating or scandal involved, they just weren’t a good match (my mother being very emotional and sensitive and my father being a rather rational and cold person). My father moved out and me and my little sister stayed with our mother, who fell into depression after the divorce. She stopped doing the household and just laid in her bed for hours after work. So at a fairly young age, I started to care for the house. I cooked, I cleaned, I did laundry, I made sure my sister did her homework. Since my mother didn’t want to lose her face in public, she acted as if everything was normal. Nobody knew about her depression. On the outside she put on a happy face, but at home she would just cry and lay around. Since I was always occupied with housework or caring for my little sister, I didn’t have much time or energy to make any friends. I became a social outcast at school and experienced some brutal bullying. I never told anybody about it.

Things got better when I was 15 and my mother met my stepfather. He is an amazing person and helped her get back on her feet and took over the majority of the house work. With this I was finally able to have some free time and make friends. At this point, I was already functioning independently and as my mother was getting better, she wanted to actually parent me, which obviously didn’t work. We fought a lot I chose to go live with my father. Even though my father isn’t the most loving person, he always made sure I had what I needed and he respected me. I’ve lived there for 3 more years and got my own apartment when I turned 18. During that time I would visit my mother once or twice a month and we stayed friendly, but never got close. I resented her for what she put me through.

Now that my sister has also moved out, my mother and stepfather want to move abroad to a tropical country on the other side of the world. They have planned everything for over a year, sold almost all their stuff and are leaving next month. I am genuinely happy for them. 

Two weeks ago, I found out that I got pregnant by my long term boyfriend and we are really excited. I told my mother and she started crying because she won’t see the baby when it’s born or be a proper grandmother because she doesn’t want to return to the “place that made her depressed” and I don’t want to fly around the globe with a baby. This is where I might be the AH. I told her it’s her decision to move to the other side of the world and I didn’t expect her to want to be a grandmother. She asked why and I said because you haven’t even been a mother. She tried to defend herself and said she was depressed and couldn’t do any better during that time, which is hard, but she could’ve asked for help and not expect an 11 year old to do everything. She then called me a heartless B and hasn’t talked to me since. I am wondering AITA?",,1,1,1.0
633,Agreeable_Ant5862,WIBTA if I refuse to have my husband throw big parties with strangers in our marital home,"My husband indicated to me that he wants (1) to host a lot more parties in our marital home, (2) with inviting a maximum amount of people (that our apartment could hold... cramming 30 in there ), (3) where people could invite their other friends over and (4) has generally indicated that he wants to be able to bring home people for breakfast.

His plans make me viscerally uncomfortable. I think for the following reasons:

(1) We are approaching 40 and I have a very rough job (working about 70-80 hours a week, partially from home). I really see my home as my place of peace and quiet.

(2) I have issues with anxiety (sometimes bordering on paranoia) which makes me uncomfortable in big crowds. I am also thinking about how it could downscale the value of our apartment. Though my husband  tells me it is important for him to 'share' the apartment with others, I think he is oversharing and showing off.

(3) My husband tells me he enjoys the perspective of meeting new people (friends of friends, or friends of friends of friends), but I think he should do that outside of our marital home. I feel uncomfortable with a lot of strangers in my house. I also have had bad experiences with this when - in my 20s - I hosted big parties (things being stolen / broken / ...).

(4) My husband much more often goes out to parties all night (whereas my interest  has waned). These are often parties in the gay scene, which I am always somewhat weary about (due to bad experiences). What my husband told me, is that he wants to be able to party all night and then invite several (up to 5) people in our home for breakfast, including people he only met during the party. Waking up to this makes me deeply uncomfortable.

I have talked about these issues with my husband and we are miles apart and have different starting points. I see my home as a safe and secure haven. He sees it as a place to share with others (and doesn't care whether he is taken advantage of). All this does not mean that I want to live a secluded life in my home. I like to have some people over, but small groups, preferably of people I know, in a context which I can somewhat oversee and control.

I would wanna know whether in adopting that point of view, I am an asshole...",,1,1,1.0
636,ducks_are_best,AITA for not seeing my dad?,"Me (17M) haven't stayed at my dads house for a night or even dinner in over 3 months. My dad (43) emotionally and mentally abused me for well over 5 years (close to 10 years now). My parents got divorced only 6 months ago. He keeps claiming how I'm an ""ungrateful prick"" who doesn't appreciate the time and effort he has put into me over my 17 years. Am I the asshole for not seeing him?",,1,1,1.0
637,dibgodango,AITA for thinking I’m reasonable about this?,"AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend about these issues? Girlfriend hides her phone from me and gets mad when I ask her what she's doing/talking to. I recently told her it makes me uncomfortable and she got very defensive. She showed me her phone and Snapchat, she talks to tons of guys, one random person on Snapchat was asking to buy pics from her and she was asking about his cash app but told me she would just try to get him to buy foot pics. Also she made sure she didn't go any lower on snap so I could see the names of people she's talking to. She never posted me on her story and I told her do your guy ""friends"" even know about me, one time I was in the background of her snap and threw up a peace sign when she was responding to all of them and she flipped out on me. I didn't get to read any of the conversations on snap either and don't know who half of these people are. She also showed me her my eyes only and I saw like 2-3 pics I've never seen before. The other week she asked me if one of our friends like and actual friend (not worried at all) could take pictures of her with his professional camera for me while she was at his house. She got mad at me cause I said no and that it makes me uncomfortable. We've also split up 3 times before (she's dumped me all three times) and says basically all my friends have seen her tits, not in a sexual way. Just her like flashing when drunk when we weren't together and I told her her Id rather not have her show them again. She proceeded to tell me that she wants to start wearing more revealing clothes (which is fine) but I don't want her to show my friends her bare ass and tits etc. We even went to a rave and she wore nipple pasties (she had a fishnet shirt on) I'm not mad about that but as she was getting ready she just walked around infront of my friends with just a thong on and her nipple pasties.
AITA for being mad at her and suspicious?
Ps. We haven't had sex in over a month before I confronted her (last time we did it she got really swollen down there due to a yeast infection that's now over but says she has ptsd which is reasonable but it's also beer V more than a month since",,1,1,1.0
638,suziecreamcheeze,"AITA For not helping out? I’ve been sick for 2 days. Partner sick for over a week. I’m bedridden, partner been able to take care of shit whilst sick.","My partner has been ill with some kind of flu/stomach bug since the beginning of the week and has been off work with the kids as they are have school holidays. The kids have also been sick so there haven’t been any activities during the day as I have been in work. When I come home from work my partner has still managed to do the washing, fill and empty the dishwasher etc. usual house chores. Fast forward to day before yesterday, I come home from work and start feeling lethargic. Partner cooks food, my appetite is off, something is up. We both wake up yesterday morning, she has diarrhea and is vomiting I can’t get out of bed due to headache, fever and general achiness. The kids are at friends. Today she feels marginally better and has managed to take to kids out to play whilst I have been in bed. I’m sensing a weird energy like I should have made more effort despite being sick. AITA for not sucking it up like she seems to do or is there some imbalance to how ill males get compared to females (assuming I have caught the same bug as she has).",,1,1,1.0
645,truwst,AITA for telling my boyfriend I feel excluded when he hangs out with his friends without me?,"Here’s the thing- my  (26f) boyfriend (30m) is generally super inclusive of me with friend groups where there are both guys and girls, and to be honest, I think its awesome if he wants to hang out with the guys. Where I get tripped up is where there’s a group with some guys and some girls and i don’t score and invite- that just confuses me. 

Recently, he was supposed to go to a show with three people: lets say him, guy 2, guy 2’s gf, and another girl. There was only space for 4 and the other girl organized so i couldnt join. But there are a few things that just sat weird with me:
- i didnt know guy 2’s gf was coming, and that made me feel more like the only partner not there (my bf only mentioned the other 2, who used to all work together)
- guy 2 wound up dropping out last minute, and his gf had to run after the show, so my bf and the organizing girl wound up going for dinner 1:1

I sometimes get dinner 1:1 with guy friends but the thing is I just would always welcome my bf to come. Even if he didnt want to, the option would he his. My bf and this girl have been friends for a long time and no history at all but still I just feel a bit hurt that he wants to hang out 1:1 with girls without me. He has been nothing but trustworthy, and i dont want to he controlling though. 

When I told him I was upset to be excluded, he felt like I was basically saying he couldnt hang out with his friends without me, and got angry with me. Like I told him I put in a lot of effort with his friend group so hope they like me, and he replied that I should be glad i didnt have to put effort in today then (he knows I like putting in effort). He felt I was saying he cant do anything without me. AITA?


TLDR my bf was offended that I said I felt left out if he hangs out with his female friends 1:1 without inviting me along",,1,1,1.0
646,truwst,AITA for telling my boyfriend I feel excluded when he hangs out with his friends without me?,"Here’s the thing- my  (26f) boyfriend (30m) is generally super inclusive of me with friend groups where there are both guys and girls, and to be honest, I think its awesome if he wants to hang out with the guys. Where I get tripped up is where there’s a group with some guys and some girls and i don’t score and invite- that just confuses me. 

Recently, he was supposed to go to a show with three people: lets say him, guy 2, guy 2’s gf, and another girl. There was only space for 4 and the other girl organized so i couldnt join. But there are a few things that just sat weird with me:
- i didnt know guy 2’s gf was coming, and that made me feel more like the only partner not there (my bf only mentioned the other 2, who used to all work together)
- guy 2 wound up dropping out last minute, and his gf had to run after the show, so my bf and the organizing girl wound up going for dinner 1:1

I sometimes get dinner 1:1 with guy friends but the thing is I just would always welcome my bf to come. Even if he didnt want to, the option would he his. My bf and this girl have been friends for a long time and no history at all but still I just feel a bit hurt that he wants to hang out 1:1 with girls without me. He has been nothing but trustworthy, and i dont want to he controlling though. 

When I told him I was upset to be excluded, he felt like I was basically saying he couldnt hang out with his friends without me, and got angry with me. Like I told him I put in a lot of effort with his friend group so hope they like me, and he replied that I should be glad i didnt have to put effort in today then (he knows I like putting in effort). He felt I was saying he cant do anything without me. AITA?


TLDR my bf was offended that I said I felt left out if he hangs out with his female friends 1:1 without inviting me along",,1,1,1.0
654,ThrowRA736194,AITA for discriminating between my adopted siblings?,"I (29F) am my parents only biological child. They always wanted more kids however they couldn’t have them.

They adopted my brother when he was 2 and I was 16. Obviously I spent time with him and we really bonded. Even though I live away we still text every day, and I like to send him gifts of stuff that I know he likes just because it’ll make him happy.

Shortly before the lockdown they took in a foster in her late teens. I obviously haven’t had much contact with her and we don’t really talk.

I do send her a gift or vouchers for what I’m told are her favourite stores at her birthday and holiday time. But we just are not that close.

Anyway my parents called and said they wanted to talk to me because apparently she’s hurt that my brother gets presents from me and she doesn’t. It’s this whole thing in the house now because my brother will proudly show whatever I bought him and she feels like I’m discriminating against her.

I’ve been told to either buy them both gifts or to stop getting anything for my brother and that I have to make an effort to call her too.

My parents seem to think I’m bullying the girl but idk I just don’t feel close to her, does that make me the AH?",,1,1,1.0
656,molasseass24,WIBTA for reporting the snow removal company to my landlord?,"I’m renting a one story house and live in the midwest (USA) where we can have petty bad winters. This week we had a three day winter storm and got about 17” of snow. The sidewalk and driveway to the house wasn’t plowed because (according to my landlord) the company they hire to plow considers the storm we had one storm even though it was three days and their contract says they have 24 hours to shovel/plow once the storm stops. So I shovel just enough to get the car up the driveway. Not ideal but whatever. What I’m upset about is that the plow company decided to come at 1:30 AM this morning. They had loud snowblower machines running back and forth outside my window waking me up. The crew was literally right outside my window. I don’t know how long exactly it went on, but enough that I couldn’t sleep and woke up feeling awful. I have bad insomnia so I was lucky to fall asleep when I did only to wake up in the middle of the night to that. I wanted to call my landlord right then and there but decided to wait till a more reasonable hour and cool off my anger a bit. So I’m not fuming anymore but am still upset. WIBTA if I complain about the company doing this to my landlord?",,1,1,1.0
657,Raditz_lol,AITA for arguing with a Dragon Ball sub fan about the Funimation dub?,"To give you some context, a few weeks ago I was watching a scene from Dragon Ball Super where >!Beerus destroyed Zamasu, one of the anime’s antagonists!< in sub, and I decided to read the comments. I watched Dragon Ball Super in dub, because I think it sounds much better than the sub (those who watched DBS in dub know what I’m talking about), and one guy in the comments was literally shitting on the dub fans, and said that they’re just “12-year olds”. Of course I decided to confront him, but then he said that my English is broken when he saw only ONE grammar mistake in my reply. Then I told him that English ain’t everyone’s native language, and then the dude said that “I am from a 3rd world country” (I’m Romanian btw), which I can sau easily that it’s a slur. Basically, I tried to make him understand that NOT everyone who likes the dub better than the sub (again, I’m talking strictly abor Dragon Ball Super, which is regarded as the best in dub), but he continued to use that xenophobic-ish slur and saying that I’m a “12-year old” for liking the dub better than the sub. Then I told him that he’s rude and doesn’t come up with a good argument for our debate, and then the guy still told me that I’m a “12-year old from a 3rd world country who simps for a piece of media that no one cares about”, and then he said: “I had more productive debates with toddlers than you!”. Then I gave up on arguing with him, because it was pointless, I’ve had enough of toxic sub fans. And that’s pretty much it.",,1,1,1.0
660,McJumpington,WIBTA if I contact my local school district to report potential fraud,"First let me clarify fraud as I didn’t know a better way to phrase it in the title. In my state, school-aged children must attend the school district they live in unless they go to private school. However, some families lie about their address to place their children in a school despite not living in that district. 

My scenario: I live in an average - above average school district, where I purposely planned to buy a house because I like the area and the schools. 

My neighborhood is fairly small and after living here for 10 years, I’ve seen just about every family that lives here during my several dog walks a day. I would say their are 3-4 middle school aged kids that love on my block. And that’s how many used to be at the bus stop. 

Nowadays, there are about 11-13 kids at the bus stop (this is just one stop in my neighborhood so it doesn’t make sense that kids wouldn’t go to their closer stop if they actually lived near here) 

What really drives me nuts is this stop is located at a crap intersection that has occasional accidents from people parking all over and creating blind spots. Yet now each morning there are around 7-9 vehicles that immediately leave after the kids get on the bus. 

When I come home and drive through the intersection, these vehicles block the view of traffic coming down the road. Around 8-10 of the kids get off the bus and hop into vehicles that then try to all leave at the same time. 

It’s seems clear that the kids don’t live here as it’s the same kids with their parents driving away after pick up each time. 

1-2 kids I wouldn’t mind, but 8+ is crazy given 1 small stop. My state law makes it clear that kids must attend the school district of wherever the “lay their head at night” (this was phrasing a local school official told me). 

I hate the added frustration and danger these parents create at the intersection. I hate that they steal street parking from residents. And I hate that my school taxes keep increasing while these fraudsters are likely not paying school taxes. 

WIBTA if I reported this  to my  school district ?",,1,1,1.0
661,MagicalBae,AITA for getting annoyed by my friend's recurring BYOB parties?,"So I've been friends with, let's call her Stella, for about 15 years now.
Stella lives a pretty lavish life; she travels a lot, like 4/5 times a year, beautiful far away destinations.
She had a pretty good job (she quit 2 weeks ago) where she made good money. She lives in a huge anti-squad mansion, she's always boasting about how she lives there practically for free, because the anti-squad rent is so low even for one person, and she shares the costs with a roommate.
Long story short, you would say money isn't an issue for her. 

Every year she's throws a medium sized party for her birthday, for about 10-15 people and every year she let's us know (last minute!) something along the lines of ""btw guys, bring your own drinks, I'm broke lmao"". This year it's ""I don't have a job lol"". 
It's always last minute so everyone already bought a gift and now also have to bring a bottle of booze, so Stella is basically receiving gifts, alcohol and gives nothing in return.

Will I be the asshole if I let her know that this is kind of cheap and embarassing? I know byob parties are common, but what do you think about this?",,1,1,1.0
662,Creative-Map-8833,AITA Friend And Roommate Issue,"I moved from Canada to America recently after the death of my father and loss of my home. With only a couple thousand. I survived for two months without job or my name on an official lease until my friend, A introduced me to a girl, B, whom he intended to hook me up with as he felt uncomfortable with her advances. B and I eventually moved into an apartment together and she even got me a well paying job. After about three weeks of A constantly telling me he wasn’t interested in B and even felt a little uncomfortable around her, asking me to hang out with them as a buffer and offering to be a wingman, I did end up taking B to dinner… only for A to show up and start flirting back with her and leaning into her advances, drunkenly telling me on the roof that his school life was more stressful than my delocation and that he didn’t care that I liked B. They hooked up that night with A telling me that morning that he regretted his decision and was sorry because he felt like he betrayed me and that B wasn’t even good in bed. He said he wouldn’t have done this if he wasn’t drunk and said that he wouldn’t do it again… they are a couple now and he has been over every day, spending nights, consuming my power and food. A is not on the lease. I do not feel comfortable having him over every day.
B is infatuated with A. To the point where she lost one of her friends and her job (potentially) because of her fixation with A. When I asked her if she could limit having A over to maybe four times a week, they both got upset with me. B even forced his way into the apartment and death glared me as if I was the monster.

And I admit, maybe I am a little green eyed. Maybe I am in the wrong. Here my friends are, in a relationship and I don’t support it. I don’t think it’s healthy. But maybe I’m just mad at A. Maybe I just feel betrayed by someone I thought was a good friend. And I don’t know what to do, say, etc… Am I the Asshole here? What can I do better? I honestly just want this resolved.",,1,1,1.0
668,ThrowAwaySpragga,AITA for “spoiling” a movie to my sister?,"So I’m a huge fan of the Scream franchise. My sister is a fan of horror too, but less of the slasher stuff and more of the paranormal stuff.

After hearing me talk about how brilliant the Scream movies are, she decided she’ll give it a watch, so she did. She told me it although there were parts she liked, but she did find the movie boring and felt like it dragged on. She said she doesn’t know if she’ll carry on with the franchise.

I was like “meh whatever” and thought nothing of it. Recently I changed my Whatsapp profile picture to a collage of all the killers from the 5 movies. As my sister watched the first one, she figured out all the characters from the movies in my picture were the killers.

She had a go at me and called me an AH for spoiling the movies for her. I reminded her that she called the first one boring and that she didn’t seem enthusiastic about carrying on. She replied saying “she could have a change of heart and carry on in the future sometime”. 

So Reddit, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
669,Popcorn6711,AITA for bringing up knife crime at a racism and black culture group talk?,"For context I’m British and I attended a small group talk held in a bookshop about culture and racism.

I’m a white 17 year old woman. The people holding the talk were all black and in their 40s 

So I may have made a massive blunder at a culture talk being held in my city about racism, one of the ladies holding the small event was taking questions about black culture.

While at the talk I asked what we can do about the problem with knife crime in the black community and everyone gapped and the woman taking questions looked super offended so I just went on the say “as we all know knife crime is a very big problem in predominantly black areas and according to stats, as we all are aware people of colour are much more likely to be a victim of knife crime and commit it, I’m just wondering what we can do and why that is” 

The lady responded saying “we are here to talk about racism and black culture”

Then I said “well knife crime in the UK is part of black culture, rappers sing about it, it’s on TV and shows, it is part of the culture and it’s one of the reasons people are racist, I think it’s important to talk about it”

At that point my heart was going 1000 miles pour hour because I felt like I should have just left 

The lady just ignored me and carried on taking questions from other people 

And I just sat there awkwardly for the rest of the talk. 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
671,ilsene,AITA for saying the group’s gays bullied our friend out of a group?,"I’m (19F) in a social organization at school. During the pandemic and forced online school, the group suffered membership losses, and it only recovered because a few students worked hard to recruit lots of people.
Of these people who helped save the organization was “James” (21M), who was on the leadership board until very recently.

What happened though was a few people who were recruited were gay or lesbian, and then they brought all their friends who are all gay or lesbian. So now the group is mostly gay, and we can no longer mix with other social organizations. This is because male organizations want to mix with straight women, and female organizations want to mix with straight men, and our coed group is full of gay people, so no one is interested in mixing with us. So all our straight people are quitting, we aren’t invited to any parties, and the whole group reputation is going down the drain.

The gay members of the group are not okay with straight people. They are convinced basically all straight people are secretly gay and everything is on a sexual spectrum, and there’s no truly  straight people. And they constantly hint that our straight members (like myself for example) are actually closeted gays, because otherwise we wouldn’t be in a gay group. So more straight members get uncomfortable being pressured to come out as gay and leave.

James was the only reason our organization survived the pandemic. He recruited some of the original gay people who are now pushing all the straight people out. They’ve been gossiping about him for a long time, and telling everyone he’s a closeted gay. He’s straight and has a girlfriend, and they tell everyone she’s his “beard,” which causes issues in their relationship because everyone gossips about them now. The gays all invited him out to a gay bar, and he agreed since he was on leadership and wanted to be inclusive. Then they were like “aha! You came with us willingly to a gay bar, which proves you’re gay!” And when he denied it, they said “You’re in denial, but we know what you are. We’ll get you eventually.”

I was with him when we met some random students in a different setting, and they asked if he had a boyfriend. He said no, he has a girlfriend and is straight. They said he “doesn’t have to lie” and they “know he’s gay because the gays in your group tell everyone you are, so you can come out to us.”

This was the last straw that made him quit the leadership board and the whole group. The gays of the group bullied him out when he’s the reason the group exists, and I told them so. They said I’m homophobic and I just can’t see that he’s “clearly gay” because I’m straight. (Funnily, half the time they try to say I’m gay too.)",,1,1,1.0
673,Character-Bottle8579,AITA for leaving a neighborhood friend when the one rule I was given was for us to stick together?,"I, now (16F) had a friend (15F) who used to be my neighbor. This happened a few years ago and I don’t remember how old we were. Her mom was a teacher and very much acted like one when she would interact with me and other neighborhood kids or kids in general. 

She would often give me orders and tell me to do things even if my parents did not tell me to do so. I was always taught growing up that you obey and listen to adults whether I agreed with them or not so I usually obeyed what she said.

One night we went to a little carnival thing that was being held in our city. My sister was away at a soccer camp so it was just me and my parents. My neighbor and I wanted to get tickets to go play games and go on rides. That was the one thing that I was most excited for. My parents bought me tickets and her parents bought her tickets as well. The one rule that her mom gave to me was that I had to stick with her daughter the entire time until we came back and were under the supervision of one of our parents. 

We left and went to explore and play games or go on rides. Earlier that day had been her last day of school. I did not go to the same school as her so I was already off. She kept getting and sending texts to school friends wanting to go and find them around the carnival. I was ok with that as long as it didn’t take up too much time since I had tickets to go on the rides. She ended up spending over an hour almost an hour and a half, making me walk around to find her friends since she knew I couldn’t leave her and go off to do what I wanted. I continuously walked around with her to find friends that she just saw only a few hours ago.

When I finally spoke up  and asked if we could go on a few rides or play a few games, she refused and said she wanted to find more of her friends. I told her that for the past hour and a half we had been walking around doing what she wanted and finding her friends. I was tired of it since I didn’t know those people and often got ignored or left out/ behind each time she found a new friend. I finally stopped her and asked her if she could put her self in my shoes. I said, we’ve been walking around for a long time finding your friends when all I asked of you was that I could go on a few rides or play a few games. I was fine with finding her friends but , when that’s all we’ve been doing, it was quite annoying since she just saw then a few hours ago. I was almost crying with how frustrated I was and asked her if she could try to put herself in my place and understand how I was feeling. She looked me in the eyes and just said no. 

At that point I turned and walked away. I walked back to my parents and told them what happened. From what I remember, my parents said it was fine and that I could go off and go on rides or play games without accompanying her around.  

Am I the asshole for leaving her on her own when her mom told me not to?",,1,1,1.0
674,Over-Letter8741,AITA for asking my bf to leave my house ?,"Please no post on TT. I (22F) have a bf (21M). I am in college, and have my own place, I pay everything around here, organic food, electricity,… my bf comes really often here, he spends only a day/week at his parents house. He does not help financially, which is fine for me, he’s a student.   
We’ve been living like this for a year. He lets thing in the sink, which is something I can’t stand, He does not clean correctly the toilets, when it is his turn to clean the bathroom (we do 50/50 in theory) he forgets to clean the bathtub, when he cleans the kitchen, he forgets to clean the coffee machine and the sink and the oven, when the bedroom, he forgets the windows, etc. For a year I’ve been correcting him, showing him, tells him when he forgets to do something, makes sure he does things correctly. Recently, I started showing signs of Burn Out. I sat my bf and explains to him that I can’t continue to tell him every thing he forgets to do and that he needs to remember things I tell him, bc mentally I can’t continue to take care of everything including look after him while I have my own 50% to do, and he tells me that it wasn’t a big deal if I see something not done and can just do it bc it will only take me few minutes. Now, this is where I might be TA. Last night, he came home and I was doing the cleaning. The only thing I didn’t do was the toilet (so I did his part and mine, but didn’t finish before he arrived). So I told him that I didn’t touch the toilet can he clean it and he just said that it looks clean to him. I said it isn’t, so please go clean it. He just flushed the toilet. After 10 min I realized that he didn’t do what I asked him to do and his respond was ‘ I thought you already did it and I just had to flush the cleaning product I put inside’. I told him that he didn’t listen to what I said to him, and he said it wasn’t a big deal. Ofc it is not, but it has been a year since I show him every product, correct him, be patient. I started crying and he told me that I need to see a therapist to cry over toilet. I was crying out of anger. I told him to leave my house that night and he said that I was an A. So am I ?",,1,1,1.0
678,Key-Cardiologist5882,AITA for telling my brothers off for smoking weed on Christmas?,"I’m 29, one brother is 25 and the other is 22. We all grew up together as a 4 (me, mum 2 lil bros).

I’ve been smoking weed since I was about 15 and mum really hates it. Even now, 15 years later, she hates it and always will. It genuinely makes her sad her children smoke. Because of this, I don’t bring weed around her, I wouldn’t dream of being high around her (I wouldn’t even enjoy that) or smelling like weed around her etc. 

My two younger brothers are different. I’m very much “no weed/evidence of weed around mum whatsoever 100% of the time”, 25 year old bro doesn’t mind being high around mum etc even tho he knows she doesn’t like it, though he’s more secretive than 22 year old who just doesn’t care. He blatantly goes out and smokes and comes back high and stinking of weed in front of mum and doesn’t even bother to wash his hands or chew gum etc. 

Both of my brothers live at home with mum while I moved out about 10 years ago. Mum has set rules in place saying my brothers aren’t allowed to smoke and be high at home etc but it hasn’t really worked and mum is just sad and upset and they’re just getting high every day and not caring. They could at least wait til she goes to bed? 

Anyway, on Christmas Day just gone, they were going out to smoke and mum said it would really upset her if they did that, especially on Christmas. I got involved and basically said they’re being selfish and aren’t showing they care about mum and they turned around and started calling me a hypocrite because I smoke etc. I said yes but I wouldn’t smoke in the middle of the day on Christmas Day and just leave mum at home alone cooking and cleaning while I come home and slump on the sofa, high af eating all the food and opening presents. 

The 25 year old ended up going to his room pissed off while the 22 year old went out and smoked. I get they’re trying to enjoy Christmas and they’re grown men but a big part of Christmas and just general consideration is thinking about how you affect others (especially those you care about) and putting yourself in other people’s shoes. Showing you care etc. They can still have a good Christmas without weed. Especially if it’s going to make mum happier. 

It made me angry and I felt it was very selfish. I hate the fact my brothers smoke so blatantly around mum and upset her all the time but I feel like I can’t really say anything because I smoke myself and I feel like I’m part of the reason they started smoking because they knew I smoked from a young age.

I really want them to start caring about mums feelings more but they’ve made it clear they’re not going to listen to me.",,1,1,1.0
680,Sassyboujeeratchett,AITA For Having The Light On When My Aunt Is Sleeping,"I, 15 female, have been sharing a room with her aunt for around 4 months. This has been an overall pleasant experience, but there are some flaws with sharing a room. My aunt, 49 female, works as an elementary teacher so she has assignments to grade and other important things to do. Sometimes she will stay up until 2 o’clock in the morning with the light on in the bedroom doing her work. I don’t say much because I am sleeping, but sometimes I wake up due to the light but I eventually go back to bed. Anyways now, I found a book that I really liked and did the same. I am up at 4 o’clock in the morning reading, my mom then comes into the room asking me why the light is on. I tell it’s because I’m reading, she then asks me why am I reading with the light on when my aunt is sleeping. She then proceeds to call me inconsiderate and mean. After she asks me why would I read with the light on when she is sleeping I then respond sarcastically because she is sleeping? My mother starts to raise her voice and command that I read in the bathroom. I again sarcastically ask her why would I read in the bathroom, she then corrects herself and says “well take yourself to the living room or the kitchen when you want to be up reading” I also don’t understand where her frustration is coming from because when I sleep with her sometimes she wakes up at 2 o’clock and watches tv with the television volume at a 40 minimum. Mind you that sometimes, when my mother’s room is untidy she sleeps on the couch in the living room, as she did the light of this altercation. I feel awkward as well because I  don’t want to be “rude” and disturb her peace. So Reddit, please let me know if I am the Ahole or not.",,1,1,1.0
682,Dwingp,AITA for telling my kids that their mom got pregnant because she’s hot?,"Me and the fam were driving to school when my 9-year-old daughter  asked my wife “Mom, were you really, really hot when you were pregnant?” 

I said: “Being really, really hot is how your mom GOT pregnant.” 

My 6-year-old  daughter then said “Mom got pregnant because she was so hot!” I laughed a lot, but got in trouble. I was told it was not funny. 

I don’t feel like I should have gotten in trouble for that.",,1,1,1.0
683,Sloths_are_,AITA for blocking my friends after graduation?,"I 18F have been going to the same high school for about 3 years now in a VERY small town in the east coast. Before I moved I lived in a major city in Texas. I had amazing friends, a great theater program, and even a boyfriend. But at the height of COVID my family decided to move away to east coast, not even getting to say goodbye to anyone. Since then my depression has been really on and off and that is mostly because of my friends. Even though we hang out, eat lunch, and a few laughs there’s always something that’s said or done to mock me. For Example I’m southern so I have a kind of strong accent. When I say a phrase or something with accent my friends will berate me. Saying that “I sound dumb” or “I hate Southern accents”. They will also say really offensive stuff about we’re I’m from or Stereotype the hell out of me. Because of this, I decided that after I leave for college in August I will not be communicating with them. It’s sad because I’ve done everything with these girls but at the same time I know my worth and feel like college is a good time for me to find different friends who love and expect me. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
684,DragonfruitHot9889,AITAH for not wanting my husbands relative to visit our home?,"Hello, i'm afraid i might be the AH in this situation but I still want to ask. My (27F) husbands (33M) family is from other country. Most of the closest family live here and my husband grew up here and is legally considered to be a citizen here. but his family is from slightly different culture and has different approach to these things, which might make me the AH here. My MIL has some relatives in at her house for a few days, they live in our country too but we don't see them very often. She invited us to her house for a dinner so we all will see each other. But she also invited THEM to OUR house for a visit the next day. Without asking us. She just called me and announced it that they will come to our house. I told her no, they will not, because we didn't invite them. She was a little taken aback since this is the first time i told her directly that, and it's not the first time she's done that. she actually does that ALL THE TIME. She knows I hate it, I hinted to her many times, saying things like ""i don't want people to invite guest to OUR house"". But it still doesn't matter she does it every time she has guests. After the phone call she called her son/my husband and told him they will bring them here and he agreed. Now i'm pissed and I'm considering doing something passive agrresive like leaving home with the kiddo before they arrive, since saying everything out loud doesn't seem to have any effect. Every time this happens, my husband tells me i'm so introverted and i hate guest and that it's not normal, which is partly true for sure, but i already told him that if HE wanted to invite them, we definitely would, but we didn't even get a chance to. I just absolutely hate when his mother invites people to our house without our consent. I might be a little overreacting since i'm very much pregnant and have a 1,5yo with sleep regression going for weeks so i just don't have any mental and physical capacity left for for playing a host to guests i didn't invite. I understand they have different standards, for them i'm being very rude because in their culture playing nice to the guests at all costs, even not invited or even not wanted is nr1 rule no matter how inconvenient it is for you, and the invitation is something they don't know, they just expect to be invited and welcomed automatically, but they are here and I consider it extremely rude to invite people to someone else's house... AITAH for not wanting them here after this?",,1,1,1.0
686,International_Jury54,"AITA, my mom's dying, I don't care","I'm not very good at expressing thoughts. So this will probably make no sense.

I just got a text the other day saying that my mom was in the hospital. But I dont care. She was never a part of my life. Took off when I was less than a year old. Tried to reconnect when I was 12. That last maybe 2 months. And then she disappeared until I was 30. She's never been here. But she kept my older brother and younger sister. 
When I was born. My dad was in the army. And just like most army wives my mother was playing secret tickle time with the neighbors. When my dad found out he obviously left her and he planned on just paying for child support while he did his military thing. But when I was around 6 months old (just before he was to sign an extension on his contract) he got the call that he needed to come get me because she ""couldn't handle the crying any longer"" and that was it. He was forced to leave the military to take care of me. And what a great job he did. He's made sure I always ate. We always had a roof over our heads. I watched him struggle but he never gave up. He's the only person I've ever had. No other family. He was adopted. Everyone in his adopted family is dead. So its just us. And now i feel my mother is trying to reconnect because she's dying and she wants to make amends so she can be forgiven. I just don't seem to care. Should I go see her? Am I justified on not seeing her? I don't know how to feel.",,1,1,1.0
691,enmpress,AITA for wanting my partner to wash their hands before touching me?,"My partner and I have been together for some years now. I love them very much but always thought that they don't wash their hands enough. I mostly chalked this up to me being finicky compared to the average person.
However, they don't always wash their hands after using the bathroom and it REALLY gets to me. I don't know if they're washing less or I'm just noticing this more because we now live in an apartment with an en suite bathroom (where I can very easily see/hear the sink from my bed).

I've brought it up and they said they don't wash every time bc it dries out their skin and they ""don't touch anything anyway"". I pointed out that they still have to touch the toilet seat/cover and the flush handle. My partner promised to wash their hands more though, since it bothers me. I bought lotion to keep near the soap hoping that would help solve the dry skin issue, but they STILL consistently come to bed right after using the toilet without washing their hands.
The thought of dirty hands touching me (especially in uh...intimate areas) bothers me so much that I recoil now when they try to touch me. I've tried to stay still but I feel like crawling out of my own skin. I know this is hurtful to them and makes them feel unloved.

Am I being too much of a germaphobe? Is it bad that I even notice this in the first place? I'm worried that this is just a mental issue and that it's mean of me to be bothered at all.",,1,1,1.0
692,throwrae42552,AITA for calling my husband's gift for his SIL inappropriate?,"
Days ago was my SIL's birthday (she's his brother's wife). My husband got her a 2 poece lingerie which I thought was inappriate but he said it wasn't and that I was being an ignorant and unreasonable making a fuss about it. We had an argument over it because let's be honest, he never got ME this type of gift but he says I shouldn't expect certain gifts and that it's about the gesture more than anything.


He says I'm overreacting big time but am I really?",,1,1,1.0
694,roar075,AITA for asking for a real apology,"This is a bit stupid, but I'm still torn about whether or not I handled this correctly, so here I am.

Over the summer I was going through a rough patch with my partner (largely due to some anxiety issues I was having) and I vented quite a bit about it to my best friend. My partner and I have since worked through that rough patch and everything is great. 

A couple months ago I was out for dinner with my best friend and a couple of other friends. The topic of marriage came up and we were all discussing what we would like our rings, weddings, etc to look like. I mentioned a ring that my boyfriend (Jack) and I had looked at together that we both liked. My best friend interrupted and said ""Jack doesn't care about what you want"". She said this repeatedly throughout the convo. I didn't want to make it a big thing so I just shut up and let them continue the marriage conversation.

Since then I have been distant with her partly because she's in a new relationship and no one has seen her but mainly because I can't get past her repeatedly demeaning my relationship at dinner.

I finally brought it up with her yesterday and said I wanted to sort things out and get back to normal but that I thought what she said was pretty uncalled for. She apologized but it came with several 'buts', such as, based on what I told her this summer she knows we've worked through our issues but she ""doesn't trust"" my relationship and that she's in a new relationship and is  having a hard time finding balance (I don't know what this has to do with it). In my opinion, this is a cop out and I told her I'd like her to just own what she said and if she actually means  it, then give me a real apology. My friends that were at this dinner think I'm being an ass and to just let it go.",,1,1,1.0
695,SuprisingGift,AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's expensive wedding dress?," 

I recently got into a disagreement with my sister over her wedding dress. She has always dreamed of having a lavish, expensive wedding and has her heart set on a designer dress that costs several thousand dollars. My husband and I are happy to contribute to the wedding, but we don't have that kind of money to spare and we think the cost of the dress is unreasonable.

I tried to talk to my sister about it and suggest more affordable options, but she became upset and accused me of not supporting her. She said that I was being selfish and not willing to make sacrifices for her special day. My husband and I offered to contribute what we could, but we couldn't afford the dress she wanted.

My sister ended up buying the dress with her own money, but she has been cold towards me since then and has made it clear that she thinks I'm being unreasonable. I'm worried that this disagreement will cause tension between us, but I also don't think it's fair for us to go into debt for a dress.

To make matters worse, my sister's fiancé found out about the disagreement and has now called off the wedding. He says that he can't marry into a family with such a selfish and thoughtless member. My sister is devastated and I feel terrible for causing all of this drama.

Am I the Asshole for ""ruining"" my sister's dream wedding?",,1,1,1.0
697,neon_dragonflies,AITA for feeling weird about this?,I never post pictures on fb but have a friend who is a constant fb spammer. I scroll once or twice a week for art and humor. It felt bit weird to see he posted picture of himself holding my dog along with more pictures where he is holding some other dog.. I thought ok.. might be just me being awkward about this one time and let go. Today he set another photo picturing him and my dog as his profile picture.. it feels wrong for some reason considering even I have never put a picture of any of my family members online.. AITA?,,1,1,1.0
698,Single_Stretch_9807,AITA for saying that they seem to exploit artists?,"I'm a freelance artist, mainly working on illustrations. So, I was casually joining random discord servers trying to find clients and then I joined this one server. It requires the artist to make an art prompt and then it will be judged by the server creator. It already felt sketchy to me at first but since the character/s to be drawn is the official server mascot, I still gave it a go. There are two characters two choose from. I finished my sketch and submitted it. 

The creator gave me a low ranking and proceeded to say that I have potential had I drawn it less sketchy and polished the drawing instead. They also mentioned that unfortunately they're in the middle of renovating their ranking system and that I have to draw both in their new system. For me it was another red flag and so I told them that I'm not interested in joining anymore because it feels exploitive. Then, I left the server.

I think it was at this point that the creator got offended and started to get pissed. They explained that it was a way for them to filter art thieves and said that the idea of ""not being paid to draw 2 characters in 1 art piece"" is not something most artists have an issue with when they are trying to make a career out of selling art commissions.

They also mentioned that each member of the team is meant to be paid on a monthly basis based on the number of total commissions that come through the shop, which include commissions that they didn't even personally work on themselves. I then replied that if money is being split up even to those artists that didn't even personally did the work, then wouldn't it unfair to the artist that actually worked on it?""

They reasoned that each artist is making less money per individual commission that they personally take, but they also all make a portion of the commission money from every other artist at the same time. So instead of being paid only for the 1-3 commissions that you would personally take on a monthly basis, you would be paid for the 10-30 commissions that the entire team does on a monthly basis.  They said that it's a means to encourage teamwork, where the team works as a team and gets paid as a team. 

They replied that they're not exploitive and I'm making baseless assumptions and that I have unstable behavior pattern and ""flaky"" because I left the group and not fit to be trusted with commission. I told them that it doesn't change the fact that they're actively benefiting from artists drawing the characters that they own. And that I don't see any reason for staying that's why I left. And that they should take my criticism professionally and accept that not every artist is going to agree with their terms instead of attacking my behavior. 

Then they said that I'm just throwing a baby fit because my low effort art got a low rank. To be fair, I didn't realize that me leaving the server came across like that because in my mind there's really no reason for me to stay. I don't care about the rank, I care about getting paid.",,1,1,1.0
699,repladynancydrew,AITA for not controlling my puppy?,"Got a german shepherd 3 months ago (m, 6 months). It's huge for a puppy. At home, I train it basic commands, some cool tricks like balancing treat on the nose etc. Hubby walks with it more as I have work/school and he works only thrice a week.

Knowing pup isn't used to walking with me and sees hubby as the alpha, I have snacks to distract it.

ANYWAYS, today, I'm walking on the sidewalk, which is in between fields and a bike path. 2 separate people walked towards us far away. Before I'd sometimes step on the bike path to avoid people on the sidewalk since our pup might want to say hi, and not everyone loves dogs, but it's been getting better at listening to me (though not 100% always). Plus it was early morning, I didn't want to risk pup there if bikers on way to work/school drove by and people usually see pup and sidestep or keep a distance if they don't want to interact. There's never been a problem before.

I made it sit and situated it so it was in the middle of my left leg and the field. The [leash was behind my back](https://youtu.be/mmqc8fQLZRU?t=31) to shorten it as taught by our trainer, so it won't have room to run or jump up on people passing by.

While person one (60+-, f) was still like 20meters away I prepped pup, made it sit, high five etc. reward treats to distract. It kept looking towards P1, so I put my body closer in front of pup to block the view in case it tried to say hi to P1, so P1 also had more space to walk away from us on the narrow sidewalk if she chose. She didn't.

As soon as P1 comes, pup tries to bolt to P1 and hop up but couldn't. It hopped up by my right leg but the leash stopped there. I also tugged so pup ended back in first position. It may have grazed her leg tho.

P1 got a shock, exclaimed ""OMG WTH that was scary, UNBELIEVABLE"". I figured she's not a dog person in shock, so fair enough. I was going to smile, apologize and tell her it's still a puppy getting the hang of things, but then she yelled at P2 her husband ""BE CAREFUL JOHN, THAT GIRL HAS NO CONTROL OVER THAT DOG APPARENTLY!""

P2 didn't react, just walked at a distance when he passed by.

She said to her husband in a high voice so I could hear ""UNBELIEVABLE, INCREDIBLE. Rude to walk with a dog if you can't control it""

Deciding it's not worth my time to talk to her and being a bit embarrassed, I hurriedly walked away with pup, whose attention was now back on me again. P1 kept saying in a loud voice to P2 how I was an irresponsible owner who shouldn't be out with their dog in public - so loud I could hear her as I kept walking away, since she kept glaring at me, it was clear she was indirectly addressing me and wanted me to hear.

Finally, when I was like maybe 50m away she yells across the field ""PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONTROL DOGS SHOULDN'T HAVE DOGS AND SHOULDN'T WALK WITH THEM OUT WHERE IT BOTHERS PEOPLE"" pretending to say it to her husband, then ""YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE A DOG""

IDK I feel like P1 overreacted and I gave P1 leeway to walk at a distance like P2 did?

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
703,Gimme_a_fking_axe,AITA for not going to visit my grandparents?,"This may sound really stupid, but it's also bothering me a lot. Sorry in advance for typos and errors, english is not my first language.

So, these days I'm (19F) home alone, because I sent my mother, her boyfriend and my half-brother to the mountains without me. I love going to the mountain but it puts me under so much stress being there cause my mother hates it, and she puts me in a bad mood too.

So I managed to have almost a week alone in our house, and I LOVE being home alone. I clean, I cook, I do the laundry, I dry the dishes, so it's not like my mother will find a mess in the house.

The problem is that EVERYTIME I am home alone suddenly my grandparents ask me to go visit them. And I get it, I get it that they don't want to leave me alone, but it's also fucking frustrating because they never ask me to visit during the holidays when the rest of the family is here, only when I'm home alone because apparently they can't imagine that I really enjoy my solitude.

At first my grandma told me to take a walk, go around the city, buy her a new cover for her phone, then go home with her (we live in the same city) and stay there the day, the night and go away the next day.

I wasn't really happy with it because of my alone time and also because I didn't want to leave my house unattended. I managed at least to say to her that I would have gone after lunch, mainly because I want to enjoy all the possible time I can't, but yesterday my grandma called me and said to me that I should go there around 12:30/13:00 so for lunch. At first I didn't say anything.

This morning she called me again and she told me that again, and I told her that I thought that we agreed on me going there after lunch. She said that no, she had lunch for me.

It made me a bit mad but I kept calm and said, very casually and calmly

""Why do you always ask me to come over when I'm home alone? You can ask when my mother is here, because there aren't a lot of times in which I can stay home alone"".

She started getting defensive, saying that when my mother is here I have university (and that's not true because she could have asked me between Christmas and NYE) and before I could say anything she got offended and said that I didn't have to go there if I didn't want to and that we will do it another time.

Now I feel a bit guilty because I love her, I spent a lot of time in my childhood with her but I also treasure my alone time and having a house all for me.

I'm sure that my mother will eventually know and blame me but she has almost never been able to do things without my grandparents' positive feedback so she usually says to do as they want to ""live in peace"". 

I know my father agrees with me cause we talked yesterday and I told him about this (he's a lot like me about treasuring alone time) but I still feels like an AH.

Sorry for the vent and the irrelevant information.",,1,1,1.0
704,Throwaway_3273,WIBTA for telling someone to stop venting to me without asking,"I have someone I barely know from my school messaging me and at first it was normal conversations about how each other’s day went and sending memes until around recently when he started talking about a break up out of no where which I didn’t mind at first but it kept going on and I started hearing about some personal stuff as well, which I don’t have the mental capacity to listen to and I also was asked if I’m single. I honestly don’t know what to do because I will probably get asked if I’m annoyed or creeped out.",,1,1,1.0
706,Not-Apple,AITA for ignoring a lonely person's calls for a few months which turned out to be her last?,"I posted this in r/confessions and judging by the comments there I thought I should post it here as well. (Slightly shortened)

​

Context: I live in a part of India where family and relatives are considered very important and marrying someone from outside your caste is disapproved of, to put it lightly.

My(25F) cousin(41F) had been very close to our family for as long as I can remember. She often took care of me when I was younger since she was closer to my parents' age than mine. Later she married a guy outside of our caste against her parents wishes. Her parents didn't like it and never visited or even talked to her on the phone. All of her relatives did the same thing and became very distant from her. Luckily, her husband was wealthy and they never had any financial problems even though his family had reacted in a similar way.

A few years after their marriage the husband died and she was left alone. I had kept contacting her after she had gotten married but on her husband's funeral I saw that I was the only family member from her side. I began calling her regularly after that since I knew her husband's family didn't really care about her. But these regular calls got to a point where they were very annoying. She called every few days and talked a lot and complained about everything. She was pathetic, but I didn't say anything. I told my siblings to call her but they gave up quickly. My phone calls with her went on for a few years until a few months ago where the frequency of these was unbearable. Multiple calls every day, asking me how I was doing a dozen times in every call, long rants about her loneliness and how everyone had left her.

A few months ago I finally told her to stop calling me so often. She was very hurt and probably thought the last person had abandoned her too. I was busy with work and couldn't talk to for a few weeks and didn't answer her calls. Just two days ago I came to know that she had died from cancer that she had had for almost a year now. I hate how I felt when I heard the news, I understood why she hadn't told me, I understood why she had kept calling me, I understood why she talked so strangely, I understood how she must have felt when I told her to stop calling me but still I felt no sadness. And now she had died alone in a bed while I ignored her final calls which could have been calls for help.

Despite her regular calls, our talks had become so routine and mechanical that I almost didn't care when she died. Talking to her had become a chore and I feel something horribly close to relief knowing that I won't have to talk to anymore. I feel like a complete asshole for this. I am almost certain that I was the only person that she cared about and I didn't reciprocate it. I want to feel bad for becoming the stereotypical uncaring loved one but I don't. I'm sorry cousin.",,1,1,1.0
707,Green-Butterfly-1431,WIBTA for unilaterally ending shared doggy custody?,"Throwaway for privacy.

I (33) got a puppy with my ex (36) seven years ago. We broke up months later but got along well enough to share custody. I got our dog for four days a week, my ex got her for three. It worked pretty well this whole time. More background: we did have an awful breakup where I assumed most AH responsibilities. I am not in love with my ex and they aren’t with me—we both are now happily partnered.

My ex got into a relationship this last year with a person perfect for them and this new partner got a puppy. I don’t know what happened, but our dog started acting out in my care (she can be reactive and this happened more frequently). Eventually everything calmed back down.

But then in September this year, my ex went on a road-trip (leaving our dog with me) and came back with two more dogs that were abandoned at a rest stop on the way back. I kept our dog for a bit while they figured out what to do with the new dogs, assuming that would be dropping them off at a no-kill clinic in our city.

Eventually my ex decided to get one dog adopted out and keep the second. Now my ex has two young, large dogs in a studio apartment and wants our dog back. After I brought up my concerns, we made an agreement that I would keep our dog until they got a bigger place (as she is reactive and 3, 50-pound dogs shouldn’t be in a studio) and slowly introduced the dogs.

It’s been three months of me keeping our dog, and my ex comes over once a week or every two weeks to walk our dog. 

Now my ex tells me they have bought a new, huge farm, but it’s in a small town 2 hours away by car. I don’t have regular access to a car, so my ex says they’ll do all transportation but we will need to split time in two weeks intervals because of the distance.

I want to say no and just cut ties completely after all of this. 

I selfishly, adore having my dog (my only dog) with me full time. I don’t want to be away from her for two weeks at a time. And I don’t like to rely on my ex for transportation (the road gets blocked too).

However, obviously my ex would love to keep her too. I did get my dog with my ex, feel strongly about keeping my commitments, hate making unilateral decisions, and have gone to great lengths to keep up our arrangement over seven years.

My dog has loved having two households thus far. And she’s a working dog and would love to have space to run (which she’d have at my ex’s new place). But I think that moving every two weeks would be hard on her. And she would lose her dog friends at the dog camp I send her to twice a week.

So, WIBTA for just ending the agreement with my ex?

TL;DR: I have shared custody of a dog with my ex happily for the last 7 years. (Yes, this is unusual, but I considered my ex family.) My ex is moving 2 hours away and thus wants to change the arrangement from splitting the week to splitting the month (two weeks with me, two weeks with them). WIBTA for unilaterally saying no and keeping our dog full time and cutting ties?",,1,1,1.0
711,pabloman215,AITA for taking slightly longer than usual in getting ready to take my siblings to school?,"Last night, my father asked me to play videogames with him and I tell him sure but that if I'm going to take my siblings to school the next day then I can't stay up too late, and I remind him that whenever I stay up past my normal bedtime, I'm unable to sleep until 4-5am (but he should already know this as it's been happening most of my life). He tells me not to worry and we start playing.

We were playing battle royal games and almost get a win but it's starting to get late so I tell him I'm going to bed. He tells me not to worry, that he'll take my siblings to school for me and he asks me to stay up later and try to get a win so I agree and we play until we get a win.

It's nearly midnight by this point and I'm starting to fall asleep at my computer so I turn it off and tell him I'm going to bed. He tells me to wait a bit and starts showing me videos and trying to teach me something to do with gaming computer components and prices or something which I can barely remember and by the time I go to bed it's past midnight and like usual, I'm still awake trying to sleep by 4am.

This morning, I get woken up by my siblings, less than 10 minutes before the time we usually leave and they tell me my father told them I was the one who was taking them to school. I'm of course livid at my dad but remain calm and tell them to go to the toilet while I change and I start changing (I love my siblings and know it's not their fault plus, they gave me extra hugs). By the time we're both done, it's like 2 minutes later than we usually leave so I go to grab my coat and one of my siblings asks me for something a little louder than normal and my dad wakes up. He gets furious at me, calling me irresponsible and telling me we're going to be late (which we weren't, we would have still arrived with a few minutes to spare). I tell him this and remind him what he told me last night but he's already changed and coming downstairs, and angrily tells me to he doesn't want to hear excuses, that next time he'll make sure I'm up an hour early.

He's never lied to me about something like this and has always kept his word and has never broken it without letting me know beforehand and making it up to me. I'm honestly just confused. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
713,Ice-Ice-Revolution,AITA for refusing to take my SIL on a romantic getaway?,"I (F28) have been friends with Brittany (F28) since we were about five or six, and we are very close to this day. As part of having a friendship with me, she was around my brother (M, would be 30) quite a lot as children, and their romance blossomed as teenagers. They were married five years ago.

Unfortunately, my brother passed two years ago in a tragic accident and left behind a mountain of debt for Brittany. She was eight months pregnant at the time, and ended up moving in with my parents. Her and her daughter, Lilac (2F), live with my parents to this day, and the family alternate watching Lilac so Brittany can get her degree. Everyone has really rallied around my Brittany in such a trying time.

For Christmas, my husband (M30) bought an all-inclusive trip for him and I to explore Paris and have a romantic getaway. I have always had France on my wish-list, and I am so grateful to him for such a wonderful gift. We leave in Feburary for two weeks, and it is honestly a dream come true.

I told my parents about the gift, and they then told Brittany, who called me in floods of tears asking that I take her instead of my husband. She said that she will never be able to experience a romantic getaway like that with her own husband, and that we (my husband and I) could just go again at another time. She said she gave up everything to raise Lilac and she would love for us to have a girls' trip like we did when we were younger. 

I told Brittany that that was not possible, this was a gift from my husband to me and I fully expected to have a romantic getaway with him. Brittany told me that I was punishing her for being a widow, and that it was unfair I would have a 'love affair in Paris' while she cried at my brother's grave.

My husband thinks she is trying to make me feel guilty, but said he would step out of the trip if I would like to take Brittany. The thing is that I want to go with my husband, but my parents have since called to tell me that they would watch Lilac and that I should not rub my happy marriage in Brittany's face. My mom told me I would be selfish to leave a grieving widow over Valentines Day. Am I being an AH?",,1,1,1.0
714,floteen,AITA for not enganging in conversation with MIL during movie time?,"Preface: we live together, it’s common in our culture, we’re saving to move out. English is not my main language. 

Me and husband love watching tv and movies at home after dinner time (8:30-9pm). We would make sure we clean up the kitchen, vacuum and mop the floors and put away everything. 

Mid watching, MIL, 8 times out of 10  came down, turned on the lights, and sit on the other end to talk to us. The topic ranges from what did you eat, have you clean the kitchen yet, have you clean the cat litter (cats are hers), can you wash the dishes (from her room), some other topic about her siblings or smthg completely random.

I’m slightly annoyed but I feel bad if I don’t answer. Husband would tell me later that I can just answer shortly instead of entertaining her and enganging in full conversation since we were watching tv/movies. 

He always told her to not be rude by barging in the room and turning on the lights suddenly. He mentioned that if she want to talk to us, she know we always watch tv on certain hours and before that, we are always in the kitchen. Why she always choose when we’re watching tv to talk to us?

Last night, we were watching another movie when she came in and shoved a cute cat video in front of my face.

Husband got annoyed and told her off again. MIL said he’s so dramatic and that I don’t mind talking to her. I felt awkward and said, ‘well we are watching movie, maybe you can show more to me later (she sleep late) or tomorrow.’ 

MIL seems offended and stormed off in anger and left the house. This morning she came back and refused to talk to us. Are we the AH?",,1,1,1.0
715,ileavethingsonplanes,AITA for not buying my daughter gifts for her birthday?,"I want to start this by saying I have always bought my kids gifts for their birthdays and other holidays. I have also dedicated my life to helping others and teaching my kids to do the same (volunteering work, opening the house to those in need of a safe place, etc) but yesterday I needed help at one of the shelters and my daughter (15) refused. There was nothing wrong with her, she wasn't sick and she didn't have plans. She just refused to help because she said she didn't want to ""waste time with dirty people.""

I have no idea where this came from as she's always been so helpful and kind, but recently she's shown the complete opposite. I have tried talking to her to understand what's going on and why she's behaving this way, but she just shuts me out. It got to the point where I told her I won't be buying gifts for her birthday if she doesn't do at least 2 good things by the end of the week, so she did the usual teenage outburst and locked herself in her room. I haven't seen or spoke to her since last night and i'm feeling like maybe I overreacted?

Her birthday isn't until Monday, so i'm hoping she'll change her attitude by then but I really don't think she will. I don't know what to do anymore.",,1,1,1.0
716,burnout_1803,AITA for leaving by (32f) boyfriend (m34) after 7 years together,"Hi there!

Please forgive my grammar and spelling I am on mobile.

So a bit of background I (32f) was with my bf (34m) for 7 years. I had been single for a while when we met and he seemed charming and caring.

Before moving in together he would borrow my car for extended periods and change job a lot and would occasionally ask me for money. This escalated over the years.

Fast forward to 2017 and we move in together when I buy my home. Initially he contributed around 40% of household bills, this changed in 2018 when he claimed all that he could afford was the gas and electricity. and even then I learned he hadn't always paid it.

This is when the relationship truly went downhill we would argue consistently and I would be accused of speaking to him with venom in my voice. There are other incidents including his not taking me to the hospital for a head wound and lack of care when i had surgery.

In September of this year after a fight over him losing something he said i would end up bitter and alone. I told him to get out of my house. We agreed on a break...it still took him a month to move though. 

I was gutting my kitchen and bagging more of his stuff we didn't need when he came over. I had a friend helping and when bf arrived he went mental and accused me of screwing him over. My friend almost called the cops, he left and I had made the decision to leave him. Which i told him the following week and he blamed my friends and called me indecisive.

Nearly 2 months later he is coming to get his things. In that time he has consistently called me the AH. Sp reddit pass judgement on me...am I an AH?",,1,1,1.0
717,firesoflove,AITA for asking new roommate to flush the toilet and not burn the house down?,"I just moved into a new place. I am here temporarily. I was very thankful to have a place to live in a new city and gracious upon moving in. I share a bathroom with one other person. Multiple days in a row they set a fire in the fireplace for heat and ended up filling the house with enough smoke to set off any adequate carbon monoxide alarm. I asked them to stop and they did after an argument in which they seemed to think an extra degree of warmth was preferable to dying of a fire or smoke inhalation. Then they started to be really weird about the bathroom, taking extra long, leaving stuff everywhere, leaving what I now think is literal shit on the floor and claiming it fell from the sky, and now I find shit in the toilet. As a minor thing they also use my stuff in the kitchen without cleaning it afterwards and they also leave shit all over the kitchen when they cook. It feels like I have a child instead of a housemate. They are in their late 20s and have complained about their past roommates but I’m starting to think they were the problem. I think they also drink every day alone in their room and try to hide it since I’ve never seen them drinking outside their room but there is always new beer coming and going I the fridge and no one else in the house drinks. They do seem depressed and like avoiding confrontation is more important than cleaning up after themselves.  I have always been nice and courteous when addressing things but I’m starting to get really fed up. I’ve barely even said much about the other stuff to them because I don’t want to cause a problem but I’ve very directly asked them to clean up after themselves multiple times in the kitchen and bathroom and never gotten so much as a “sorry, I’ll try.” Is there something wrong with this person? Should I be more chill? Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
719,Short-Pen-2384,WIBTA for not letting my son have gay/ trans teachers?,"So I’m a 20 yo dad, and I have a year old son. Lately I’ve been seeing a lot of media about people debating gay/ trans teachers. At first thought I didn’t really mind it, but after hearing a lot of opinions online from supposedly gay/ trans teachers, I don’t think I want that type of influence in my sons life at a young age, not like ever in his schooling, but like elementary at least, WIBTA?",,1,1,1.0
720,bendbrewer,AITA for leaving my friend behind on a planned group trip?,"I (30m) have 2 best friends, Eric (30m) and Tom (30m). We met in college as roommates, and remained inseparable ever since. Eric is extremely easy going and nice. Tom is also awesome, but not easy going, is hard to deal with and always has been, is a self-described narcissist, loves to ‘debate’, stubborn, loud and opinionated. Someone who truly loves to play Devil’s Advocate for the sake of argument. We know how he is and know how to deal with him, mostly harmless but just can get exhausting from time to time. 

Eric graduated first, moved away, and is now finishing a grad program. I graduated next and started a career I love. But Tom never graduated and ended up dropping out early on. Eventually I moved 500+ miles away to start a new career. Eric came to visit me every year. Tom didn’t visit until last year and immediately was dead set on moving. Within 3 months him and his fiancée moved their lives up here.

As the years went on, it was clear Tom was changing. What used to be sarcastic jokes became his actual logic. Even more argumentative than before, and more stubborn. It started becoming a problem to the point where Eric and I had our conversations muted and we’d open our phones regularly to 30+ messages from Tom on some kind of rant. No one would even respond or engage with him and he would have a makeshift debate, with himself, on hypotheticals. It was miserable even having any kind of conversation with him because it always had to go ‘political’. We talked to him and he would apologize and say it wouldn’t happen again (it always immediately did).

Eric visited a few weeks ago for Tom’s wedding, he was shocked to see and hear how bad Tom had gotten. Tom started shifting to a more constant negative, and racist tone. This wasn’t super surprising to Eric or myself considering how his language, verbiage and stance have changed. But what is weird us is that Eric and I are both first-generation Americans. And Tom can’t seem to have a single conversation without involving race and throwing some sort of fit/going on an angry rant. 

Later, Tom and I had plans to road trip and visit Eric for a fun weekend in the city, our old stomping grounds. Tom and I were at my bar looking for hotels when he noticed the hotel tax in the city and went on another insane rant about the minorities and homeless. I kept telling him that he needed to stop because he was causing a scene at my bar. He just kept going. 

I eventually snapped and called him an idiot and racist. Obviously that didn’t go well. Names were called and I walked away and left. 

Afterwards, I texted them both and cancelled the trip. I later learned that Tom had called Eric to laugh about how angry I got and how funny it was. So Eric asked me to just go alone instead of completely cancel. I did, and we had a great time. But now Tom is pissed at us, and wants to sever all ties together. Eric wants to fix everything by any means possible, but I think I’m over it.

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
728,mashedthrows,AITA for how I confronted my ex,"Hey everyone. Throwaway here just bc I am in a very healthy relationship and I’d rather my boyfriend doesn’t come across this story as it may bring up some issues regarding the past. Long story short: when I (25F) was younger (around 14-15) I had a really horribly short term bf, we’ll call him Z (17 around that time and then 18 shortly after). He essentially coerced me into performing “stuff” (you can imagine). And it took me seeing a therapist to realize I was essentially assaulted consistently. (To give the biggest example he would tell me he’d leave me if I didn’t do XYZ). After we broke up, his two closest friends tried hooking up with me and thankfully I screenshotted the messages as evidence for myself which will play a huge part later. 

So onto the story, my friend and I were having typical girl talk and we’re discussing stupid things our exes did. I mentioned how my exes girl best friend had called me after we broke up to ask if the “r*pist” rumors about him were true and I confirmed them. After this he called me exploding on me for starting this rumor, which I didn’t I just told someone who I thought was my friend (turns out they weren’t). In this call I explained his actions and he agreed that it may sound bad (I forever wish I recorded this call). Then he tried calling me a bunch of horrible names for attempting to hook up with his friends, which left me FLABBERGASTED… I hung up on him sent him the screenshots of his friends begging me to hook up with them and followed it up with, “you can go f*ck yourself now.” And blocked his number. 

More stuff happened but when recalling this to my friend she said I was an ahole for burning his friends out and ruining two long friendships. What do you all think?",,1,1,1.0
733,randomstufffs,AITA for telling my parents to stop meddling in my life?,"So my (23F) relationship with my girlfriend (28F) has somehow become the biggest problem for my parents. It is my first serious relationship therefore I expected some judgement from my perfectionist family. 

However, it has been quite a while now. We already live together and we have been dating for a year and a half. I know her family, she knows mine. And I've told my parents how I'm serious about her numerous times.

They use every little flaw they can come up with to make it sound like she is the worst person in the world. They have no issue with my sexuality, I'm bi, they never cared. My girlfriend actually happens to be my dad's best friend's daughter. So I don't understand where this is coming from.

So the other day my girlfriend said she couldn't make it to dinner at my parents' house because a meeting at work lasted longer than she expected. She works in the same company as my dad and her dad. My parents didn't like hearing about this but didn't really say anything.

Anyway later when my girlfriend came home she was fuming. My dad has called the office and asked for her. I got super angry and called my dad. He said he called to make sure my gf wasn't lying!

I got super angry and said I wouldn't talk to him or come over at all unless he apologizes. He said he was just looking out for me and he knew my girlfriend's history better than anyone else, and that she was a wolf among the sheep. I hung up the phone and didnt answer his calls.

My brother called me and said my dad meant well and I was overreacting to this. I said he should mind his own business and stop being a vector for my parents to use. (He was always the golden child who would take over dad's position. Well he didn't. But he still lives like he's 5 years old and only repeats my parents' words. Obviously my parents adore him)

So was I overreacting? Was what I did or said assholish?",,1,1,1.0
735,Realistic_Wish4619,AITA for ‘screwing over’ my SIL?,"I (26F) have been married for 7 years. My husband and I were young when we got together, and as a result I became like another kid to his parents (but that’s a story for JustNo) 
Anyways, I never thought of his sister (27F) as anything less than my own. So when she had her kid (2M) I was excited. I’ve got my own kids but I was happy to have a nephew. 

So my SIL lives next door with her parents. The issue is that I’ve become the baby drop off center. ‘I need to run to the store’ turns into me texting her 4+ hours later trying to figure out where she is. It’s always someone else’s fault on why she’s late. I am in college online tho and can’t exactly do my work when her kid is on a sleeping schedule of 2 am- 8 am. My kids attend school and need their sleep (they have a decent bedtime) I’ll also add I have a hard time telling people no (currently in therapy for that among other issues) 

Because of those reasons, when she came to me saying she had a job offer she asked which of 2 schedules worked for me. Didn’t ask if I would be the babysitter. I told her neither did. So we agreed to a schedule where I’d watch him half the schedule and her parents would watch him the other. Usually her parents back out but I told her that wasn’t going to be able to happen. 

Well her first interview/training is today. She told me days ago her dad was watching her kid since he’d probably still be asleep. Okay awesome. Then at 2 am the day of she messaged me and said ‘you’re still able to watch him tomorrow right? I hope so cause I have no one else’ I was pissed and I told her so. I told her I’m being taken advantage of and letting me know last minute she wasn’t having her dad watch him isn’t ok. (Dad isn’t sick, just didn’t want to) I told her how is it isn’t right that everyone else can say that they don’t want to and it’s ok cause she knows I have a hard time saying no. 

It ended with her apologizing and begging me to keep him, but I still said no. She told me she will lose the job if she can’t find a babysitter and I told her he isn’t my kid so it’s not my issue. My MIL then messaged me telling me she’s going to straighten me out and that if my nephew is such a bother then I just won’t keep him anymore. She also told me I’m an awful person for screwing over my sister and she expected more from me . 

My husband agrees with me but won’t say anything to his mom and sister. AITA? Should I watch him anyways? TIA",,1,1,1.0
736,ThrowRAT32F,AITA for asking my bf why he doesn’t eat at home anymore and why he doesn’t help me around the house?,"We been dating for a year but lived separately. I allowed him to move in with me early Dec after a car accident. I had just found out from his cousin few weeks before that he’s homeless and has been homeless before we started dating. When I confronted him about this, he immediately came clean and said he lied because he was embarrassed. He said when he first slept in his car he had every intention to get an apartment but after few days he figured out how easy it was to stay in his car and take showers at the gym and so he stayed to save money. 

We were already going through rough patch by then and finding out he lied to me for entire relationship pretty much ended things for me. I tried to understand but I just couldn’t make sense of his story or reasoning. I felt like I was missing pieces to the puzzle. I got the sense that he never really felt real remorse for lying and after a lot of little arguments, I broke up with him around thanksgiving but we were still sorta talking, when one night he gets into a pretty bad car accident. He calls me first and tells me he has no place to sleep. So I let him stay with me while his car’s fixed. And ofc we get back together once we’re under one roof. And so after his car’s fixed, he meekly  asks me if he can stay since temps plummeted in our area. I didn’t have the heart to say no and he moved in. I didn’t ask for rent but very quickly he started to spend money by buys $$$ furniture piece for the apartment which I wasn’t very keen on and few others knickknacks. 

As Dec progressed, it’s became clear that he expects me to do all the household chores, including his laundry. I’m going to grad school online and was putting it in 12+ hours a day 5 days a week, while he slept and worked few a days week. One day I asked him to clean the restroom and he acted devastated and accused me bossing him around like a servant. So I let it go and kept my mouth shut. Fast forward, few days ago(Happy New Years!!), he wired me January’s rent and insisted on paying the entire rent. I told him we can split it, he refused so I told him I’ll accept no more than 2/3 from him which I did. And that we have to split it going forward, which he agreed. 

Earlier tonight, I called him and asked him after he went to work if anything is wrong? Why he doesn’t eat at home anymore or if he expects me to cook for him every day?? He said he doesn’t expect me to cook now but once we’re married I will have to cook for him. So I told him marriage isn’t transactional and we aren’t even married and I already do all of the housework even when I’m sick. He responded by saying “**It’s your job to do the household chores! Because I already fulfilled my duty which is to provide which I have!!**” And I said to him “**because you paid this months rent and bought a piece of furniture that makes you a provider**?” To which he replied “**Yeah, you only need my help because you’re lazy!”**. 

I’m now sitting here little shocked. I don’t even know what to even make of this. So am I the asshole here?",,1,1,1.0
739,halfzits,AITAH for hiding my roommate’s weed?,"Last year, me (20F), my roommate (20M) and 2 other roommates (20F, 20F) shared an apartment on the second floor of our college apartment complex. I asked my roommate (20M), who smokes weed regularly, that he just not do it in the common rooms aka the living room or kitchen because I don’t like the smell and in the state our college is in, weed is illegal. Fast forward 9 months and a few other roommate squabbles later, I come out of my room into the living room and find a bowl, a grinder, and weed on the coffee table with the window cracked open. I was so mad, and I grabbed all the paraphernalia and stashed it under my sink. The next day, he asks me, “have you seen my weed?” And I reply, “yeah I tossed it out the window”. He angrily replies “you what?” And I said “I told you in the beginning of the year to not smoke in the common rooms, so I tossed your weed”. His voice was rising in volume so I got scared and I started heading toward my room. He followed me and I closed my bedroom door and locked it. He proceeded to pound on my door screaming “well you owe me money bitch”. The next day I returned his weed. We stopped being friends after that happened. Which is sad because he was my best friend at the time.

My question is, AITAH? Technically he was under the impression I tossed his things. But I don’t think his reaction was warranted.",,1,1,1.0
742,OkHoney7139,AITA for not allowing people/ visitors to take pictures of my pets?,"So I have cats at home, they are lovely and don’t mind being around people. However, anytime someone has come over they straight up reach for their phone to take a picture. It’s very offensive to me and I don’t want to put my little ones on display. I barely post any pictures of my cats on any socials. I don’t think it’s worth posting because I think of them as my family and I wouldn’t ever post them for likes, shares or Amusement. 

I consider my pets as very personal beings, they have brought me so much joy during my difficult times. I’ve been critiqued for being so strict about the “no photos of pets” thing before. I feel incredibly uncomfortable when people talk about pets as if they are things, or have no value. 


I try not to be rude to them but it’s such a sensitive subject to me. Am I being weird? It’s a very silly yet very personal situation.",,1,1,1.0
743,Total-Inevitable6905,AITA for lying to my parents about my boyfriend?,"I'm 26(F), and have been dating this guy for 3+ years. I come from a family that's not very (or at all) open minded about relationships and pre marital sex. I've often lied to them on many occasions to spend time with him, taken trips together and visited him in his city. The cloak and dagger weighs down on me many a times but I know they wouldn't be accepting of this based on having tried in the past to visit these conversations with them and not having it go smoothly at all. He on the other hand, comes from a very unorthodox family and they know me very well. While they have slight issues with the lying, they continue to maintain their support. It's been causing quite a strain on us, and making things difficult. I go to lengths to hide my whereabouts and it makes me wonder if I'm in the wrong here.",,1,1,1.0
745,rmegee,AITA for burning my husband (57M) with boiling water for ruining my (16f) grilled cheese sandwich?? URGENT I COULD GO TO JAIL,"(NSFW WARNING)

i locked myself in the closet and the police are trying to get in, im typung this while in herre. my husand (50m) came (ejaculated) in the grilled cheese i asked him (45m) to make me (18f). he wass trying to initiate sexy time but im not attrackted to him at all (arranged marriage vibez). this set me off the edge, as i (18 f) dont want his (58m) semen in my mouth ewwww???? so i told him (19m) that i would make soup instead (i \[28f\] wasnt). i (17f) boiled water SUPER hot w/ salt & took it off the stove. i went into his (62m) library (in the house), saw he was touching himself (GROSS) and poured it all over him. his skin started boiling and blistering and he screamed at m,e ad i ran away. im so scared right now i hate him but i dont wanmt to go to jail. am i the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
746,InSpeedWeTrust,WIBTA for asking my girlfriend to step out of my sister's wedding?,"This is my first post on here and reddit so sorry if it's awkward.

My girlfriend (25f) an I (24m) have been dating for 2.5 years. She is the first long term relationship and also first serious one I have ever been in. I love her very much and she is going to be the person I spend the rest of my life with. My sister (24f) and her fiancé (24m) have been together for going on 10 years now and will be getting married in Fall.

Although I have know my sister's fiancé since we were all in Jr. high I have never been the best of friends with him and wouldn't talk to him if it weren't through my sister. Nothing against him just two different people.

Here is the issue: I do not want to be in his wedding party. I have not been formally asked by him but I know, hearing from my mom and sister, that he would like me in it and my sister would like me to be a part of her wedding. While I would do anything for my sister, being twins and going through so much as our lives progressed, I do not feel comfortable standing on a side of the wedding I have no attachment to. Her fiancé is the best person on the earth for her but I'm just not close with him. 

The problem is, even though my sister and girlfriend had only know each other for less then two years, my sister asked my girlfriend to be a bridesmaid. I assume because she wants me to be in her wedding and figured I would say yes to her fiancé. 

Knowing that it will be very awkward for my girlfriend to have to walk down the aisle alone (the fiancé's side will be max 2 people without me) I feel like I am almost forced to either ask my girlfriend to step down, or be shoved onto a side of the wedding I do not want to. 

Not to mention I always visioned watching my sister get married from the crowd and being proud to watch her there, next to my dad and mom. (I am going to cry and would also rather not where everyone can see me)

So, WIBTA for asking my girlfriend to step out of my sister's wedding?

Some info I feel is important but couldn't fit in the post:

\-My girlfriend will be a maid of honor in a year or two with her best friend so it's not like she would miss out on the experience. (Not to mention the bride in ours one day)

\-My sister's side of the party is going to be at least 4 people and her fiancé's 2 so the sides will be lop-sided anyway.

\-I have not asked anyone about this yet because when I said I didn't want to be in the party my mom brushed it off like I didn't have a choice.

\-I was a best man last year and honestly just don't want to be a part of all that stuff again lol. Or at least till another one of my best friends get married.",,1,1,1.0
747,MundaneAddition1229,AITA? Gf says my family and I are racist for constantly saying she’s from Africa.,"My gf (Bea) is African. She moved here to study and we’ve been together for almost a year. When you meet her and talk to her, it’s obvious she’s not from here. She doesn’t have an accent and although her English is perfect, you can still tell she’s not European. 
When she introduces herself she usually says she’s from her home country but sometimes people might not have heard of it so she has to say it’s in Africa. Then they go , “you’re from Africa?” and sometimes follow up with questions since they’re curious. She usually ignores it but once I’m a while she says no and tells them she’s not from Africa. She’s from her country and when there’s obvious confusion she just says her home country is where she’s from and Africa is the continent, not the country. It makes things a bit awkward at that point but some don’t mind the correction.
I brought her home for a family celebration we had and my parents did the same thing. They introduced her to the rest of my family as being from Africa and she’d always correct them but they’d make the same mistake again. I have a cousin in particular who’s always wanted to visit Africa and was very interested in talking to her. He asked a lot of questions and she’d say some were not specific to her country so she couldn’t answer it. She’d always answer by saying “I don’t know about the other countries but in [home country]……..” then she’d give her opinion. My cousin made a comment about her knowing little about Africa for an African. 
She’s not a confrontational person and hates having to speak out in front of people but she told him she thinks it’s pretty racist that he’s asking her about an entire continent when she’s made it very clear she’s from just one country on the continent. It was quite loud and the air was a little tense afterwards. She left by herself and sent me a long text telling me about how this is why she insisted on not meeting my family. She felt like if she couldn’t get me to stop saying that after the time we’ve been together, my family would be much worse and they proved her right. She called all of us racist and asked for space to clear her head.
My question now is whether we are racist? The only Africans we know are those born here and actually don’t know a lot about their country so they wanted to get to know more about Africa through her.",,1,1,1.0
748,freezerkeys,"AITA for not wanting to share my food with my coworkers, who are actually aliens in disguise?","Okay, I know this might sound a bit out there, but bear with me.

So I had a bit of a disagreement with some of my coworkers today and I'm not sure if I'm the one in the wrong.

We had ordered a group lunch to be delivered to the office and everyone was excited to dig in. I had specifically ordered a dish that I had been craving all week and was looking forward to enjoying it.

As we were getting ready to eat, one of my coworkers asked if they could have a bite of my dish. I hesitated for a moment, but ultimately decided to say no. I had paid for my own lunch and didn't feel comfortable sharing it, especially since I had been craving it for so long.

Well, this didn't sit well with my coworkers and they accused me of being selfish. They said that we were all a team and that sharing food was a way of bonding and showing trust.

But here's the thing: I just found out that my coworkers are actually aliens in disguise, and I'm afraid that if I share my food with them, they might try to use it to gather information about human biology or something.

I know this sounds crazy, but I can't shake the feeling that something isn't quite right with them. Am I the asshole in this situation, or am I justified in not wanting to share my food with my potentially extraterrestrial coworkers?",,1,1,1.0
749,Euphoric-Warthog-142,AITA For going through my husbands phone?,"Hi! 24F here and I’ve recently had reason to suspect my husband was either cheating or looking at other women behind my back. For context, I’ve been incredibly depressed lately from it being the 1 year anniversary of my family dog suddenly passing, my mother being sent to the ER and not hearing from her for days, and having to give up on my dog that I loved dearly..so I’ve not been putting out. Last night, I tried to break my head out of it all and have sex with him. I was trying to help get him up then he started yelling at me saying I wasn’t attracted to him, he doesn’t want this anymore, and that I still talk to my crush from years ago..which none of is true. Tonight, he again goes straight to bed without me after I fell asleep on the couch. When I finally wake up after cleaning up dinner, I go up to bed and lay next to him. I saw that his phone was still on so I decided to check four places. First I saw he had an app called “Clapper” in his second most recent apps. I saw he had an account and that he was following well over 100 women who make sexual content. Instead of looking for any messages I just frustratedly deleted the app entirely. I checked tiktok bc he’s on it so often, no messages, I checked his messages, nothing….then there’s another app, tango. No messages, but lude women. And then another live sex video app. I’m shocked atp. This time I checked bc it was like if discord were a sex app. There was a chat. But it was like a live chat room. No one in it at the time but still…Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
750,bigdaddydave97,AITA For telling my Fiancee I want to postpone our wedding...,"So am I the ass for wanting to postpone our wedding date .. my Fiancee and I planned to get married August 27th this year.. but we came up with so many big plans to accomplish this year .. lose weight .. change jobs.. buy our first home.. get married.. 
   I told my Fiancee that I think it should be a great Idea if we focus this year on buying our first home only because of our income status.. she's full time on SSI and I'm a laboratory technician... My only issue is once we do get married her income will disappear and we will be forced to survive on my income. We live in a crappy 3 room apartment with our fur babies. I want to give her a better place to live.. but she wants to do both at the same time.. I just don't want to fail her .. AITA??",,1,1,1.0
751,Either-Acadia-6614,AITA for storming out of the shop after an employee told me not to open their products.,"I (16F) hate going into shops by myself because due to my age and tendency to wear baggy clothes, workers always give me dirty looks as if I’m going to steal something or do something shady. I’ve been pulled up before and asked to show what’s in my hands or my bags when I’ve seen other people just walk out.

Earlier today I was in sportsgirl, and since it’s after Christmas, there’s a bunch of things on clearance. Their clearance table is really small and low to the ground so you kind of have to bend down to get to the items as they’re basically on the floor. Well this employee walks up to me and I’m the most condescending voice says “now don’t open any of the products for me sweetheart”. 

I don’t know if she thought I was younger than I am in this case, but this comment angered me as everytime im in a shop I have employees looking over my shoulder as if I’m gonna steal something. I wasn’t even touching anything so I snap my head around and instantly snap back “no I wont”.The worker then walks off and my and my 9 year old sister who was with me at the time give eachother  a look as if to say ‘what the fuck?’

The lady must’ve seen my facial expression as this bitch comes back and (in the same condescending voice) goes “No no I meant if you want to try any of the products just use the testers.”

Ok bitch for starters no you didn’t coz that’s just a weird thing to specify to people coz it’s fucking obvious. And secondly I know she wasn’t talking to my little sister because she made eye contact with me when I turned my head and she was looking over me not my sister.

So when that mofo walks away I grab my sister by the hand aand we walk out of the shop together, as I leave the door I look back and glare at the lady, who is looking at me probably because she knows I’m leaving because of her.

Anyway do you think that was rude or wrong of me?

Because personally I think it’s fucked to assume I’m gonna be sketchy because I’m a teen. If you’re an employee, please leave people the fuck alone unless they’re clearly doing the wrong thing. And if you are suspicious and want to keep an eye on a customer, don’t make it so fucking obvious by following them around the shop. This same day I had an employee at the body shop follow me around the store and looking over my shoulder. Like leave me alone!

I don’t think I over reacted because this happens all the time and I’m so sick of it.",,1,1,1.0
752,Constant_Pumpkin_515,AITA for wanting to be as cynical as possible w someone who has feelings for me at work?,"I F(32) have started working as revenue analyst in this place 8 months ago. My job would require a lot of communication with the reservation department in which she (29) is the manager. One time about 5months ago I agreed to go for a casual drink afterwork w her and didn’t think much of it until she suddenly asked me if I could tell what made her started to notice me. I stunned for a sec and try not to make a big deal out of it and sort of wiggled my way out. Abt an hour later I said goodbye to her and she straight up said she wanted to go home w me. I refused as polite as I could and offered to get her an uber 1st but she kept on snatching my phone away and stuff, long story short it was a struggle for me to get home alone that night. I felt so fckn awkward after but because of work I still have to talk to her daily. From that day on I feel like it’s much more exhausting to work w her, she would push back requests, delay stuff, ask unnecessary questions, which upset the f out of me but I figured I shouldn’t make a fuss if it’s still manageable. 
Recently our department went on a very tight scheduled business trip overseas, an urgent issue popped up that required acess to a local system (only accessible at the office), I asked her to assist me w the system first and I deal w the rest later, she quickly agreed. I came back the next day to find out she didn’t touch it. I asked her why didn’t she say anything to me abt it. She then got upset and say I should be more understanding, I shouldve known she’s so busy and she didn’t like my tone and the fact I instructed her in details. She went on to say because I told her I would rather to only talk to her about work, I better behave, and because I didn’t she won’t talk directly w me again and I’ll need to talk to her through my manager. I told her that bothering a third person about daily communication between two people is weird, let alone my boss. I thought she only acted up due to stress, but she went on to block me. AITA and am I delusional?
Thank you.",,1,1,1.0
754,wewillsee2023,AITA for how I found out my gf was cheating?,"To begin i’d like to say that I know I violated her trust by snooping through her phone (it was the one and only time) and I told her the next day. I don’t believe that you should stop through a phone without permission and I’m not generally insecure in my relationships. Over the last few months I’d began noticing a detachment from my gf and an massive daily increase in her Snapchat activity. This wasn’t alarming until our sex life became practically non-existent. Anyway, I had asked her once if she was happy in our relationship and if I had any reasons to be concerned. She told me that she was happy and there was no need for concern. A few weeks later I brought up some of my concerns again which were basically brushed off. Finally, I decided to go through her phone one night and I found on Snapchat that she had been sexting at least two guys. I was crushed and I felt dirty for going through her phone but also mad that she had been cheating. Bottom line we both violated each others trust, but does my one transgression make me the asshole when she’s been intentionally brushing me off and cheating? Why not just break up? Should I have not gone with my gut, believed her lies, and not checked her phone?",,1,1,1.0
755,boromirfaramir,AITA for moving out of my in-laws' place with my kid?,"Some background: My (34F) husband (37M) passed away last year (sudden death, no illness) and I didn't have a place of my own. I stayed with my in-laws, thinking that they'd lost their son and being with their grandchild (5M) would help them while grieving. My original plan was to stay until a year passed by since his death and I tied up some loose ends as far as my husband's debt was concerned. In the meantime, my in-laws kept escalating their complaints against me - that I didn't wake up early (I have to commute 75-90 minutes to my workplace and I wake up by 6.30-7 am), that I didn't take care of my son (I'm now a single parent and I cannot be with him through the day, since I have to work), that I don't do all the housework (I take care of the laundry, look after my son when I'm at home (includes keeping on top of his school schedule, take him out to activities weekly, read with him), clean everyday, and help with cooking whenever I am home).

Last week, things escalated. I visit my parents with my son every other weekend and my in-laws kept saying he always fell sick whenever he came back to their (in-laws) place and that he keeps losing weight whenever he visits my parents. Now, he's a 5-year-old who is back in school after two years of a pandemic. He gets a cold twice a month, a mild temp every three-four months. He has some genetic allergies and that is all being addressed with his doctors. His weight, according to his doctors, is perfectly within range and he has met all his developmental goals on time, if not earlier. After last week's visit, over the New Year, they started singing the same tune. I texted my parents and told them I don't want to be there anymore.

I packed up a few necessities, took my son and left for my parents'. I'm looking for a place of my own near my folks and hope to move in to a house soon. The in-laws are now calling me and my parents to yell at us, to call me a bad mom, to say I'm selfish, etc. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
759,LadyLovesFinance,AITA for telling husband he needs to stop vaping,"Am I the asshole for telling my husband he needs to stop vaping because we now have a newborn baby? I caught him vaping in the bathroom and I didn’t know he was vaping in the house until today. I read that vaping residue can stay on surfaces and even his clothes so when he picks up the baby, the baby can be exposed to the vaping chemicals. He says that he needs it to manage stress but I honestly don’t care if it has a chance of hurting our baby.",,1,1,1.0
760,Thot_Destroyer_123,AITA for not wanting to go out with someone because of their cultural identity?,"I’ll make it short and simple for all of you. This girl of blonde hair and blue eyes (etc) asked me out. I personally don’t want to go out with people like that because I prefer people of my own identity (Italian). So when I responded back with no I told her the reason why. I said something to her like “I want to spread my Italian genes to someone of Italian descent” she was like Austrian or sum shit idk. She then blocks me which is like fair enough. But then her friends add me to a gc basically flaming me, and said I made her insecure of her race, they wanted me to apologise but I said leave me alone and said “she’s creepy”, btw I think this is where I’m a bit of an asshole for saying that, because her friends said I made her feel worse and according to them she hates her own identity. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
761,wasabideeZ,AITA for letting loose at my best friend?,"Me (16M) and by best friend (15M) have been next to eachother our whole lives nobody understands him better than i do and vice versa but sometimes I just feel anger around him yet i refuse to bottle it up because of how f***** his life is. Pretty sure his father has mental issues, ive been told that sometimes hes an absolute angel yet he's the devil himself (verbally, possibly physically abusing my friend), his mother and grandmother who live with my friend are incredibly irresponsable (his mother is an alchoholic, heavy smoking party animal who gets back to her home as late as 2AM and his grandmother who leaves daily for ""work"" and returns at the same time and his mother is currently in Miami even tho 2nd semester of school starts in 4 days) but My friend is a pig. He stuffs his face with food every second of the day and refuses to wash his hands, he leaves the fridge open at times and the fridge handle sticky and moist, he ""brushes"" his teeth by what ive seen from his mess with a toothpick, showers only once every time he comes over and when he does wash his hands or showers he doesnt know what a towel is for, he floods the floor with water and leaves his dirty laundry everywhere (my mother still refuses to do something about it cuz of how his parents treat him) but she treats him with so much love and care yet he returns it by spitting in our faces. And today i had the last straw.

First off he inmediatly complains about lunch even tho it's exactly what he asked for and instead eats a bag of plantain chips he brought with him
Then he (once again stole my hat and shades) and wore them to the mall 
Then he demands we watch the new puss in boots movie (8/10 movie ngl) even tho he has alredy watched it and spoiled about half the movie
And finally..he takes a massive shit in the toilet we exclusively told him was out of service and uses approx. More than half the wet wipes to clean his crusty ass so i took away the pack after he was done, he then YELLED at me for doing so cuz he hates the feeling of toilet paper and surprise surprise my mother sides with him. And then something in me just snapped i then berated about him and threw insults at him and how this is why his parents treat him like this after a solid 2 minutes of me running my mouth i stop at the slap across my face by my mother as my friend cries he then locks himself in his room and my mother sends me to mine.

Since then ive felt shoulders lighter after that weight i got rid of but My heart felt heavy like a Boulder and a massive wave of guilt crushed me to the floor but neither my mom or my friend want to talk to me. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
762,sdb75,WIBTA If I never formed a meaningful relationship with my in-laws?,"A little bit of backstory - I'm a woman and both myself and my partner come from a culture where the daughter-in-law moves into the house of the groom after getting married and is expected to care for the in-laws and prioritise them over her own parents. Arranged marriages are also common.

I'm in a relationship with someone who does not expect me to follow this cultural norm and mostly wants to us to remain independent of both of our parents and live separately. We are equal partners in our relationship. We are now discussing the next steps in our lives that involves us getting married and telling our parents about our relationship. We come from very similar backgrounds but his family is holds more traditional values and believes in a lot of outdates and sometimes downright mysogynistic values including but not limited to -
1. The woman should give up her career to take care of the family (only the in-laws and her own kids).
2. Marriages are arranged between a man and a woman who is significantly younger than a man. The matches that were proposed to my own partner were between him and women who were 6-9 years younger. Reason is that the woman will be more fertile and will conform to the ways of ""her new family"" easily if she is younger.

While my partner and I completely disagree with all this and will not follow most of the traditions, I am worried having a close relationship with his parents and his family as I would be pressured into doing things I do not want to do. My own mother would shame me for going against the traditions that she wants me to follow as a daughter and as a future daughter-in-law to some other family. 
According to him - despite them being traditional, they are not bad people and would respect any boundaries we set. I do not take his word about this as he is very biased because of his privileged position as a man in this very patriarchal culture.
My preference is to not form a meaningful relationship with them to prevent the emotional blackmail I would open myself up to by having an actual bond with his family.  (ref. point 1 and 2. Above). I have not faced these prejudices from them directly. When I let him know that my preference was to keep my distance from his family, I assured him however that I will never come between him and his parents and that I will be civil and polite to them at all times. But he says me refusing this will hurt his parents a lot and called me a huge asshole for even considering this.

So reddit, I come to you for judgement- WIBTA for never forming a meaningful relationship with my in-laws? 
The reason why I am conflicted is because while I am considering a potentially hurtful boundary to limit his parents' and his family's influence on my life, I think doing so out of judgement and prejudice - the very reasons for my own misgivings towards a relationship with them. Plus even though I dont agree with their traditional values, I don't think they should suffer because of holding them.",,1,1,1.0
765,NoCream582,AITAH for not caring about my friends problems anymore?,"my friend is kind of depressed. she's not been diagnosed with anything, but she's always spiraling and talking down on herself and having panic attacks and the like. anyways, recently i've really been trying to help her with her anxious depression, but i can't really find it in myself to care anymore. i've tried everything i can think of to help her get started on a career path, on an art path, on a therapy path, literally anything but she just insists on being depressed and not putting any effort into helping herself. she won't try anything at all that i've suggested for her to try, she just refuses me saying stuff like ""you don't understand, it's not possible for me."" and ""i don't work like that i could never do anything like that"" but she refuses to ever even try and i'm just so tired. i have my own mental issues as well, and while they're not as severe as hers, it's putting such a strain on me to keep supporting and trying to help her when she refuses to do anything herself. i can't force her to get therapy, or to talk to a doctor about medication. she was ranting again to me recently and when i responded and she shut me down as usual, i found that i didn't even care anymore. i couldn't care less that she wasn't going to try my suggestions. if she wants to keep down this harmful path than it's clear theres nothing i can do to stop her. still, AITAH?",,1,1,1.0
766,Throwaway148629694,AITA for wanting to be with a different girl then my girlfriend?,"I don’t wanna leave my gf just to be with someone else. However I would rather be with this other girl because she seems to actually appreciate me. My girlfriend never supports me. Says that I’m not a real artist because “photography isn’t a real art like drawing”. She’s told me that I’m not attractive but she doesn’t care. She’s told me about how if I had the balls to k!ll myself I would’ve by now. And a lotta shit that makes me feel horrible about myself. My gf is having a bad time with her parents as her dad is cheating and it’s taking a toll on her… 

But this other girl I’ve always liked, she’s been nice to me and has admitted to liking me. And she doesn’t take me for granted… she told me yesterday that I was the reason she hasn’t k!lled herself. She has really bad depression but she never talks about it to people. I think me and another friend are the only one to know.

My feel like a complete asshole because I’m already with someone yet I really wanna be with someone else. So am I the asshole?…",,1,1,1.0
767,eyeyamstewpe3d,AITA for not speaking up for my mom,"For context she is a very emotional person, yesterday my step brother visited us after years and she ""talked"" with him about inheritance and stuff except the way she talked was very rude and passive aggressive. The whole conversation went this way , she spoke in a normal but still rude tone and it escalated to yelling and my dad yelling to shut her up and my step brother was replying in a way that i thought was him trying to avoid the conflicts but according to my mom it was disrespectful. She keeps going on about how she suffered her entire life for things to come to this and i have to hear all about it. I was woken up today by her (earlier than normal) with a phone shoved in my face and her telling me what to say to my dad because he had left. 
My mom says i should speak up because if I don't ""things will slip out of hand"". I would defend her if it wasn't for her rude way of talking i feel like I'd be defending the wrong team, not that they're in the right either. Im only 15 so i feel like topics like this generally shouldn't involve me especially since i have important exams coming up which are already giving me enough stress as is. My mom keeps going on about what a horrible child i am and stuff but im really confused how any of that is my fault. 
I told her I'd talk to my dad to tell him that her point was right but her way of talking wasn't but thats the most i can do because she quite literally gave me no choice I can't defend such behavior. Im not an emotional person and the way she tells me to talk to him is by being dramatic and putting alot of emotion into things which just feels unnatural to me. Im not sure what i should do in this situation.",,1,1,1.0
770,nyyna,WIBTA if I asked for money back from my ex bf that was supposed to be for a concert we were planning to see together?,"Hey everyone. For some context: I had to break up with my boyfriend last week due to our relationship just being really unhealthy. I had to get out of there. While we were still together he asked me if I would go see his favorite band with him that was playing on New Years Eve and being his girlfriend, of course I said yes (even though I'm not really a big fan of the band haha) and I paid him $90 for my ticket. Well, some things went down a few days before NYE and it was my last straw and so I broke up with him for my own mental well-being. 

Part of me wants to text him and ask for my $90 back for a concert I didn't even go to (I mean, who knows if he still went or not) and damn, I just bought my first car and I could use anything I could get right now. But I don't know if I'm just being childish because I'm hurting and I should just leave it alone. WIBTA?",,1,1,1.0
772,Glitterykisses,AITA for wanting to kick my bum sibling out,"I grew up with the kind of family that will turn a blind eye to any and every kind of negative situation that occurred in our household, I had a sibling that was very abusive when we were younger and called it tough love. My family didn’t intervene as much they thought of it as sibling rivalry… 

Time goes on we grow up I’m pretty successful aside from the ptsd,anxiety and other mental issues I have from my childhood but I was always taught that blood is thicker than water, and that family is everything. So I always found myself feeling responsible for this older sibling of mines, because I didn’t want to look like an asshole so cutting them off despite my horrible experiences in my childhood with this sibling.

Now my sibling on the other hands is not successful at all, they have been stuck in the same rut for years, in and out of trouble no progression whatsoever and everyone has always coddled this person  but this sibling have exhausted all of their options and now I find myself back in the same position of feeling responsible for their well-being all over again. 

Older sibling of mines is homeless again and what was supposed to be a few days turned into months of them living with me and this person is turning my house into their house, not contributing to anything and anytime I ask for help around the house they give me an excuse as to why they can’t, this sibling is trying to make me feel like I’m an asshole and because I want them out of my place! My family is making me feel bad saying I shouldn’t be like that towards my sibling.

They do not have disabilities or addictions either, they’re just used to being coddled and dependent on others.",,1,1,1.0
773,lgbt14,AITA for watching TV that had cuss wordsm,"So I(16f) don't watch alot of TV I'm usually drawing or doing hw or reading on my phone. But sometimes when I'm bored and want something to make me laugh so I put on Rick and Morty, Bojack horseman and South park, or some I love Lucy. I mostly just watch kids shows to turn my mind off, but other times I will watch Rick and Morty and stuff like that just to make me laugh. I also like to watch scary movies and will watch movies that are rated- r, 13+ or 14+ with my dad.

Him and my mom are very different my dad is fine with me watch anything as long as i skip the sex parts and if they show any privates, which I'm fine with, hell i dont even like looking at those parts and i skip them anyway or just cover my eyes or just mute, but my mom hates it, she hates when I watch those shows and say it will rot my brain and that I don't need to know about sex yet. She never taught me about the birds and the bees I berly found out how babies where made when I was a freshman! That was only because I took fucking health class!!

So today I wasn't in the best mood I was exhausted I went to bed really late and woke up really early because we had to go out and my shark week started so you know a pretty good start. We got home at around 4 so I decided I was going to shut my brain off and watch Rick and Morty since I was almost done with the whole thing. I started watching it and after a bit Rick started talking about his private and the squids and how they are jealous of him.

I then hear my mom. ""Op what are you watching!?""

Me: ""Rick and Morty the show my cousin watches!"" 
Mom: ""I don't want you watching that! It's talking about genitals and sex! What are you going to have sex now!"" 

Me: ""no!""

Here is the thing sex grosses me out to the point it makes me want to throw up. Plus I just wanted to finnish the show! But I turned it off. And that's that but was I in the wrong shold I not watch it? I mean my dad is fine with it but on the other hand my mom hates it and starts to yell at me.

So reddit AITA for watching Rick and Morty?

TL;DR was watching Rick and Morty and got in trouble was I in the wrong for watching it?",,1,1,1.0
775,EconomicsClean3531,AITA for spending to much on Christmas?,"I 21,M bought my self a MacBook and the new Apple watch ultra.
My siblings and parents want me to also buy then something as a gift but it's my hard an cash and I'm rather a selfish person so buying them things seems out of question for me considering they also have the money if not more than me.

I'm also planning to move out to a beach house in the coast and already paid a deposit but they don't know",,1,1,1.0
777,DIONYSxNOISYD,AITA for serving 30 days notice to two friends who decided to walk on a (dubious) lease arrangement?,"Ricky isn't on the lease, while Shelly had to put her mom on the lease. I'm the primary leaseholder. 

Ricky decided to give me 11 days notice that he'd found a better living option (6 mos prior to the end of our lease, which he never signed). 

My split of $2100/mo goes from $600 to $1050

Shelly decides to jump ship as well, as her commute isn't great and she'd prefer something new. Shelly decides to make up for this by announcing to my entire friend group that she'd found a solution, and 2 of our other friends were now going to move in (didn't consult me, the leaseholder). 

My split of $2100 goes from $1050 to $900

At this point, I asked Ricky and Shelly to provide notice, so we could solidify our plans for the new tenants without any surprises. Immediately Shelly gave a disgusted look and completely ignored the request. Ricky just raised his eyebrows and walked off after a bit. Not the remotest response from either. 

As for the aforementioned surprises, the two of them have now re-neg'd on their decision to leave. They informed me of this upon receiving a written notice to vacate from me. 

At this point, Shelly went on a campaign through our friend group pronouncing that she was being put out on the street and that I was stealing rent from both of them (referring to the fact that Ricky's monthly payment was auto-issued the same day he attempted to give an 11 day notice, requesting we prorate the rest of the month)

After speaking with some of my friends, all but one of them blames me for wrecking our living situation and think that I was abusive to Shelly. The one and only friend who acknowledged my legitimate needs (while also critiquing my escalation) was our mutual friend and my/Shelly's DM from DND. 

DM came to our house to mediate the dispute. In 30 minutes, we managed to get three different people to agree to sign the lease (Shelly, Ricky, and the new pair). 

After the reaction I got from most of my friends, I'm reassessing my relationship with them. Shelly is the group integrator, so I'm growing uncomfortable with the dynamic of everyone's ire at me despite Shelly's disregard for my lease. 

My final lesson from this ordeal is that this was essentially a power check from Shelly. She assumed that by controlling the narrative and strong-arming me on lease decisions, she could walk off on our lease with impunity. 

Bitch found out. 

Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
778,Next-Raccoon-702,AITA for letting my dad come to my house after asking my family to hide were I live from him,"For Christmas last year I (22M) was planning to host as I'd just moved into a decent sized place for the first time and finally had the room for it. After months of planing my dad asks for his invite and I beg my family to not tell him were I live as he is abusive to me for having different beliefs to his both physically and verbally, they agree and try to tell him they don't know were I live.

 As Christmas gets closer my dad isn't letting up so we decide to swap hosts as my dad is threatening to simply stalk my grandparents to my house. I just brung all the food i'd gotten to my gandmothers house as he's beginning to cause some serious issues that would be easily smoothed out by swapping host. 

Christmas goes over rather smoothly however my youngest brother(12) was not there. The next day he called me and oppologised saying he couldn't make it because it was his mother's turn to have him for Christmas (we have diffrent mothers)but he wanted to see me. I said he should ask his mother to bring him over, what I didn't know is my dad was with him and listening to the conversation and used this opertunity to invite himself saying he would bring my brother the following day.

I wanted to say no but my brother sprung up and started thanking him and said he was so excited to see me because we don't see eachother often enough. I couldn't bring myself to say no to him now that he was so excited to see me.

My family caught wind that my dad was ""invited"" over and are now mad at me for letting him over to my house after they tried hard to not tell him were I live and are telling me iv caused future unnecessary drama. Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
781,shirlsngiggles,AITA for wanting bf to stop using slurs,"So we’ve been dating for about eight months now, and I recently found out he uses the n-word with his friends. Was extremely upset since I’ve told him countless times I have no respect for anybody who does, and how his friend uses it and I hate it so much. We had a conversation about it and was told he wouldn’t use it again which is what I hoped for. Then, just yesterday he was talking with his friend in the room and said to him “yeah he’s the R word  I don’t like using around her {her is me}” I WAS LIKE ??? HELLO?? And to add on to that, the f-word was brought up and I asked him oh do you use it,,, and he said “not really-“. NOT REALLY?????? Oh brother. 

He treats me amazingly and I’ve never been so loved by anybody before, but how he uses these words is something that means a lot to me. I just felt like I was lied to about who he really is and not this educated smart man. Thoughts? Experiences? Thank you all!",,1,1,1.0
784,Sufficient-Pickle602,AITA for asking for respect and to be treated better?,"I am 15 and in Grade 10 (I'll be 16 next week Wednesday as of Jan 3 2023), but this story takes place last year, my first year of high school. I met a boy in one of my classes who immediately took a liking to me (we'll call him A for the sake of the story). A wasn't very interested in me at first, but strangely started talking to me after he overheard me in a group conversation with other classmates say that I was bullied in my elementary school for allegedly being a femboy/trans (which though I am a more feminine I don't see myself and haven't seen myself as either trans or a femboy). Upon hearing this, he would walk over to my desk to talk to me often, and would always try to include me in conversations with his friends (which I absolutely loved since I sucked at making friends at the time). Things then took a bad turn when eventually be started asking me to come with him during our breaks to the side of the classroom (We were in portables, aka outdoor classrooms and because it was during a quadmester AND covid, we were allowed 15 minute breaks inbetween classes, two per day). At first I didn't really care and went along with him, until I found out that for about 2 months I would have to sit through the following; being tied up with a sweater/jacket and pulled outside of the classroom, constantly being asked what my sexuality was and whether or not I would have sex with a boy (for context, I am straight, A is gay and his friends are all somewhere in the lgbtq community), repeatedly gaslit into believing I WAS gay because I am genuinely nice to people and articulate myself in public (word for word I kid you not that's what I was being told) and being caught in the middle of brawls and verbal fights from A and his friends. I was very uncomfortable very quickly, but from my background of being in a private school environment I thought this was normal behaviour from kids who went to public school. After a few convos with my parents, they told me that I should put my foot down with A and tell him that although his friendship is important to me, I don't appreciate being tied up, lead to the side of the class, and asked about my sexuality when I've made it clear I'm straight. So, I ended up saying those things to him (sadly not as confidently as I should have). Not only was he racist towards me after I confronted him (I'm black, he's Indian) but told all of his friends and the rest of the class that I was homophic and manipulative. Now I barely have the same friends I had before, but everyone believes I'm a horrible person all because I wanted my personal space to be respected. AITA for saying something to him?",,1,1,1.0
788,Shoddy_Ad9427,AITA for telling my cousin not to yell at their kid for forgetting things since they have a serious neurological disorder and they cannot help it?,"This happened earlier. The kid has Chiari Malformation, which generally causes symptoms like intense headaches, cognitive problems, and other issues. I am a medical student and we had a whole assignment about Chiari Malformation, so I was familiar with it. 

The kid forgot to turn a light off after a certain time, so my cousin got angry and told them they need to try to learn not to forget. The kid ended up politely explaining that they can't help it, because they have a 'bad brain' (referring to the Chiari). Out of nowhere, my cousin snapped at them, telling the kid to grow up, and said the kid was calling them a bad parent (the kid never actually said that). My cousin started throwing things around, I told them to chill. 

I explained to them what Chiari is and how 'trying not to forget' is not how memory works, and just because 'trying not to forget' works for them (my cousin) does not mean it'll be the same for someone with Chiari. I said the kid is already under enough stress from being in constant pain and them snapping at the kid's very polite explanation was uncalled for and made them look unhinged.

My cousin snapped at me saying ''just because you're a medical student doesn't give you the right to dictate what I do. I'll do what I want and say what I want''. I said that being respectful is just basic human decency, and it doesn't cost them anything to be considerate. My cousin went off on a tangent about how they bought me dinner a couple years ago, and how I'm disrespecting them despite what they've done for me. 

My cousin ended up asking me to leave, so I did. 

I've tried to talk to my cousin since, but they aren't replying. 

AITA here?",,1,1,1.0
789,Jaded_Mousse_9998,AITA my wife caught me watching couple of girls twerking on IG,"
Ok context my wife is complaining about me watching a couple of girls dancing or twerking in instagram and start to ranting, screaming and insulting and me, she told me that I don’t appreciated her i think is not big deal i feel shame and want to make things work again between us but I think this time is over, I think she overreacted, aita?",,1,1,1.0
790,Ano_prenaom3457,AITA/ For attacking my brothers fiancé?,"I (28) female have a brother (34) let’s call him Max.  Max and I are step siblings, but I always found us as more, as actually siblings.  He was always there for me and loved me almost as much as I love him.  Anyways let’s get to the story.  2 years ago Max meet his now fiancé, Jennifer, (26).  When I first met her I was uncomfortable with how young she was, but my Max put my worries to rest and I decided to give her a chance.  I hated how she always showed up at our family reunions and squeezed her way into our family, like a rat…I could tell she didn’t belong with my brother and the more I saw them together the more I HATED HER.  My blood boiled when my brother proposed to her, I could tell our family was being ruined by her, but my family refused to believe it.  So, this is when I got the plan to start to text her on social media platforms and in her direct messages.  My brother was furious with me, and asked for me to not attend the wedding when it happened.  He said he was so stressed with the wedding plans, and he doesn’t have time for my craziness.  I know that Jennifer was putting this mess in his head, I couldn’t take it anymore, I was tired of this woman stealing my lovely brother from me so I went to there house when my brother was at work and went on to beat her, cursing her out while doing it.  She was stronger than I thought and started to beat me, my brother came home just in time to see the assault and save me, like my hero.  JENNIFER, told My Max what happened and he told me I was insane and cut me off completely.  Turns out Jennifer was cheating on him in the end and was only using him for his money, but Max still didn’t talk to me after the whole event.  So am I the A-hole?  I really don’t think I am, I just wanted to protect my dear brother.",,1,1,1.0
791,Commander_Kody,AITA for not renting a room in my apartment to a person with a support dog?,"This happened quite a while ago but got brought up recently and there have been arguments from both sides.

When I was in college I lived in an apartment building across from campus with a girl and one other guy. The guy moved out so my roommate and I needed to get another person in. We posted an ad online and one of the people who answered was blind and had a support dog. This wasn't an issue for me (a huge dog lover) but my roommate, who was also the primary lease holder, was absolutely terrified of dogs due to an incident when she was a kid so we turned him down. He then got super upset with us and threatened legal action if we didn't rent to him. 

Some people are saying that it's illegal to refuse to rent to anyone because of a service animal, which is totally true. However, we didn't refuse him because of the service animal but rather because of the fear it caused my roommate. 

Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
793,ShortKingsStandAsOne,AITA for forcing my parents to leave my house when I overheard them bring racist towards my girlfriend?,"For context, I (21M) am currently dating a girl who we'll call 'Lily' (20), and Lily is a hispanic woman. My parents are both white, my mum (46) is from the US but migrated to my country when she got married to my dad (51).

I was having my parents over to my place for breakfast this morning (I live in UTC+8, so it's just past noon now). I was cooking up my specialty: Bacon, scrambled eggs, chipolatas sausages, toast, and (optional) Jalapeño poppers.

Breakfast went smoothly, and I heard my little brother (who rents at my place) asking for me to come take his plate (he is currently sick, so can't leave his room). I, like I usually do, said yes and went up to fetch his plate. When I came downstairs however, I heard my mum whispering to my mum something like ""I can't believe OP is dating a brownie! Did we not raise him right?"" And I was furious. But I decided to keep my calm for the time being and politely try finish the meeting up.

But then Lily came to me, obviously holding back tears, saying that my parents said to her that she ""should look for a partner that's on her level, not reach too high up"". I was fuming, and I couldn't hold it in anymore, so I shouted ""Mum, dad. Get the fuck out of my house right now."" They tried to act coy as if they didn't know what I was talking about, then started acting defensive, then sorry, and finally angry. They shouted at me a bit, but I continuously shouted at them to do so until they did eventually leave.

They must have reached out to the rest of the family who are now sending me message after message on Snapchat saying stuff from ""you need to tolerate them they are bigots, so just let them be."" To ""How dare you speak in such a disrespectful manner to your parents, OP! You need to learn some manners!""

So AITA for this?",,1,1,1.0
794,Every_Win_395,AITA for getting mad at my friend over her astrology comments,"My (28F) friend “Becky” (28F) is obsessed with astrology. It’s not my thing and I don’t believe in it, but she can believe what she wants. At first, when she’d bring it up, I’d smile and be respectful. I didn’t know what she was talking about half the time… but I was always respectful about her beliefs. 

Anyway, recently I’ve noticed that Becky will bring up astrology at inappropriate times and apply it to situations in life that don’t warrant an “astrological analysis”… it’s gotten bad.

Example- someone in our friend group will be telling a story about an event and how they reacted in said-event. Becky will chime in at the most inopportune time with “You reacted like that because you’re a Libra!”

“You said that because you’re a Gemini!”
“That’s so cancer of you!”

This has been happening CONSTANTLY. One of our mutual friends lightly told Becky to “stop” the other day when Becky interjected her story. It was again, a very light “stop”… but I could tell this friend (like I) was annoyed.

For me, things finally came to a head when I was telling my friends about a family-related “thing” that’s been a big stressor recently. It’s a very serious matter that I’ve only really disclosed to my close friends, and sure enough, Becky interjects with some stupid comments about astrology. I got FURIOUS.

I immediately snapped and said, “Look Becky, I’m sorry- but I find it so disrespectful that you’re trying to minimize this deeply personal and serious family issue with pseudoscientific bullsh-. It’s so wildly inappropriate at times to relate what people are saying with astrology. My situation has nothing to do with astrology. Your comments are unproductive and unhelpful.”

Becky’s mad at me now because she considers astrology a part of her religion… she’s saying I’m disrespecting her beliefs but she can not comprehend how her behavior comes across. Time and place, Becky….
My family issues are not the time, nor the place to talking about “how sagittarius my family member is” as a way to explain why they’ve got issues.” Stfu. 

AITA???!",,1,1,1.0
795,jrushii,AITA for wanting time w my s/o,"My boyfriend (19/M) like his “guys time”. Which I (20/F) could understand. Although many times, he has said that the guys bring their girlfriends and he has yet to invite me. I have met his friends before, and as far as he has told me, they are cool w me. I am cool with them, so I have trouble understanding why I don’t get the invite too. I don’t want to make any assumption so, I talk to him about it, and he says after putting himself in my shoes he can understand why the circumstance would bother me so much. He came to his OWN conclusion that next “guys night”, I would be invited. Well tonight guys night suddenly came about and I infact, was not invited. When I asked him why he said “it never crossed my mind” as if we had not talked about it the week prior. I communicated that this upset me and he got incredibly upset, one might even say angry and then asked me for space. Am I The Asshole?",,1,1,1.0
798,MysteriousWeirdo,WIBTA: If I stopped trying?,"Throw away account, but long time lurker. I will provide some context, though feel free to ask for more 

I am an artist, more so on the physical sense, I love all forms of physical art and I wish to become a master in all forms of physical art and I have always wanted to leave some kind of mark on the world. However my mother (40sF) is a bit competitive to say the least and is always trying to show how great she is and her son, this has led to altercations, severe mental decline and even where I been kicked out of the house because I embarrassed her on not completing projects on her time as I prefer to leisure my art process. After being kicked out multiple times I went Low Contact with her, however after a year of NC she contacted me that she is planning on getting engaged with her now husband Gonwill(40'sM) and that they are willing to pay for my welding college if I am unable to receive any scholarships if I moved up there and get my certification. After some convincing from my dad(47M) I decided to go.

I  have been focusing on getting my welding degree for the past 2 years now. My mother and Gonwill have been housing me while I finish getting my degree, and things have been patchy but kinda better now. Problem is that this has never been my end goal and is just a safety net while learning how to master welding for more giant metal sculptures for art, and they very much know as much. I just recently been accepted to an art college and I will be getting my mastery in studio of fine arts, in fact I will be leaving on the 7th to go. The problem is that I have been trying for my certification for the past month now and I have failed twice in a row due to my weld caps being .35mm and .27mm too big. They have been very discouraging to say the least and I just finished going after my 3rd attempt for 3G Flux Dual Shield MIG and I won't know if I pass till tomorrow, note that each test costs almost $400.

The dilemma is that personally I could care less about my certification as the art school is providing 1/4th off my tuition each semester if I go 15 credit hours and it is a pretty pricey school. If I stop trying and just graduate tomorrow than I will be able keep any scholarship money I earned and it would be very helpful for the first year at my new college. My mother is pretty disappointed in this, but I recently been feeling like she been doing what she has done in the past and she is getting embarrassed again. I should mention that I still will be getting a degree and that my certification will expire in 6 months once I get it so it would be a mute certification any how.

This is posted very late in the evening and I am exhausted so I am sorry for any mistakes and outed context. If you have questions I will gladly answer em' in the morning as long as they aren't too privy.",,1,1,1.0
799,sagganuts18,AITA for not speaking up about nonconsensual touching during movie?,"I went to watch a movie today and a \~30 years old couple sat next to me. During the movie, the guy tried to feel up at woman's thigh at least 5 times, and the woman shoo him away some what violently, and harshly telling him ""stop"" at one point. I wanted to say something, but at the same time, they were also cuddling-- the girl hugging the guy's arm, so I was worried that they might be a close couple, and the guy is just perpetually horny. I just kept an ear out incase things escalated. After the movie, they gave each other quick kisses and held hands. 

I tried to keep an eye on them in the parking lot, but I had my kids with me so I had to leave. From what it seems, they were on some kind of date, but weren't super close (he was telling her where his car was). 

Call me paranoid, but I have a daughter and my scrawny ass would still fight the guy if that was her. AITA for not saying something and check in on the girl somehow? how should I have handled this situation?",,1,1,1.0
800,voltic_925,AITA for keeping my relationship a secret?,"I'm a little confused about a situation I was just caught up in, I like to keep relationships under wraps, I don't like to be open about it. So, me and this girl have been dating for a few months, and we have this mutual friend who hangs out with us We accidentally let it slip that we were dating and now the person who I'll be calling T is very angry with us. They're saying that how can they trust us after leaving such a surface level thing a secret and how he basically brought us together. I really don't think I did much wrong here. I just don't like to be open about it, and I'm a bit embarrassed to even say it here. Am I the one in the wrong?
and I don't know if it technically falls under the rules of the sub, but  it'll get taken down if it doesn't comply. Thank you for reading.",,1,1,1.0
801,Suckmydikwallstreet,AITA for telling my husband his birthday wasn’t for a few hours,"I have been sick the past week and my husband’s birthday is this weekend. As a result, I wasn’t able to plan much for his birthday and it’s going to be a very low-key celebration with a dinner and presents at home. However, he has been able to celebrate and go out with friends as well this past week.

Tonight he came home from a little celebration with some friends and seemed in good spirits. I admit I was feeling a little down and stir crazy, and on a lot of mucinex D, but I didn’t act down or anything. As we were eating some pizza he made a remark that, “it’s my birthday” in relation to something I don’t remember. I responded, “not quite yet!” And pointed to my clock, indicting it’s a few more hours until his actual birthday.

I didn’t mean anything malicious by it, but he immediately got grumpy, and after some remarks about my being “antagonistic” he requested that I apologize for the comment. I did, but I admit it was more of an “I’m sorry I made you feel that way” kind of apology.

He flies off the handle. He says I’m always short with him and rude. He tells me I always act like I’m always right and that I never humble myself. He was clearly getting angrier and angrier and I felt he was starting to cross the line with his anger towards me. I told him we needed to talk later when we could both be calm.

Am I the asshole for my comment or was it pretty innocuous and he overreacted?",,1,1,1.0
802,Own_Palpitation1969,AITA for sleeping with a girl after a breakup,"Me (M19) and F18 had been in a relationship for around 7 months - we broke up on the terms surrounding mental health issues. About a month after the relationship I slept with a girl at a party. In context, I had been trying to move on from my relationship as I believed there was not a real chance we would get back together again. After a series of events, her getting with someone I frequently expressed my dislike towards (M19) I decided (in the moment) to sleep with someone after a few drinks at a party - recently my ex had re-added me and told me in more depth about her encounter with M19 and this caused me to tell her about my experience at the party. She then told me that she was frequently trying to ‘win me back’ and that she had been attempting to probe she still loved me over the last month. She told me that there was no chance of a revival of our relationship and now I feel like a d*** because of my decision to sleep with someone else. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
803,redparrott99,AITA for not wanting my husband to go back home to funeral given our circumstances,"So a bit of background,  we spend a lot of time with my husbands family whether it’s is going to his hometown or them coming to visit us. They have more flexibility with time and are logistically closer.  We rarely get time with my family so when we go we usually stay for longer stretches of time.  So for Christmas we went to visit my family.  Added info: We have two small children and I’ll own up to the fact that I deal with anxiety and really depend on him to help me with kids whereas he doesn’t have issues taking care of kids alone. Well few days into trip unfortunately we had family member on his side die unexpectedly.  The minute he found out he was already packing and trying to figure out arrangements to get home. I got upset that he was going to leave with no plans to come back to help me travel back with kids plus the added fact that the funeral hadn’t even been planned.  He ended up finally making plans to come back to help me but only after huge fight. He said he wanted to go back early to help raise money.  But my argument against going back was that if they needed help, the money he’d spend on a last minute flight days before Christmas could be better if just donated. It’s a large family so them needing the extra hands wasn’t really an issue.  I obviously wouldn’t have pushed back on going to funeral if we had been back home and would hope it was understandable on not making it since we were out of town and the cost to go back was significant. But I was also upset that I paid for entire trip and he didn’t offer to help pay but had no issues ponying up last minute flight. That’s why I had no issues wanting him to come back and spend even more money. I get it was for funeral but still stung.  Another additional note: he hadn’t shown as much urgency to get back home when I needed him for emergency. Not trying to bring up old fights into this but did have that in the back of my mind. Am I the ah?",,1,1,1.0
804,Zealousideal_Put_163,AITA for refusing to meet someone?,"Okay here is the situation:
My husband and myself are trying for a baby since 4 years - we gave been diagnosed with various issue. During this lapse of time my sister in law had 2 kids naturally. I am very happy for her as to each their own life yet it makes me terribly sad as I will probably never be able to conceive - at least not naturally. 

My sister in law who was a cool lady before has only one topic of conversation now: her kids. Seeing her with her kids sort of makes me sad & I had a mental breakdown last year because if this. 

Yesterday she came to visit my in laws together with her kids (we stay together) & I stayed in my room when she came; didnt even bothered to go out and meet her & the kids. My husband told her that I was sick and I was sleeping. 

AITA for not meeting her?",,1,1,1.0
806,Throwaway1063y3u,AITA for demanding that my bf give me the present that he got for his girl best friend?,"I (26F) and my bf (23M) have been together for 6 years. My bf has been friends with Julie (22F) since they were in middle school. They have known each other for almost 10 years, and have still kept in contact. Julie and I both have January birthdays, two days apart.  (All of this happened yesterday) This year, for Julie's birthday, my boyfriend wanted to do a surprise visit. Since she lives near my family, he thought it would be nice for us to visit her, and then spend my birthday at my family's house. I was fine with this, as I like Julie and I haven't seen my family for a while. When we arrive at Julie's house, he gets out his present. I did not know what he was getting her, but when she opened the gift, it was two tickets to go see a concert the night after my birthday. These weren't just any tickets, they were for my favorite band, and my bf knows I love them. I was extremely mad. Not only was he going to a concert with another girl, two days before my birthday, but he also was going to see my all time favorite band. As soon as we left, I started yelling at my boyfriend and I demanded he take back the tickets and give them to me, or sell them. He said he would not be taking his gift back. I told him I didn't feel comfortable with him going to a concert with another girl. He said he has no feelings for her and they are just friends and he  wanted to spend some time with his best friend and that he thought I would want to have some time with my family. He said he didn't know that I liked that band so much. I left, and texted Julie. I told her that she should tell my bf that she can't go to the concert, so that me and him could go instead since that was my favorite band and it was almost my birthday. She didn't reply. Apparently she told him I texted her, and my bf is mad at me for asking her to give up the tickets. He accused me of being jealous and distrustful. I think my concerns are valid. I told my family what happened, and my sister is on my side, however the rest of my family thinks I shouldn't have gotten so mad. My birthday is tomorrow and me and my bf aren't talking currently. So AITA?",,1,1,1.0
807,Indexpert,AITA for stealing my wife’s debt card,"So couldn’t make a throwaway account for some reason, might delete later idk.

My wife is getting checked into a treatment facility in the very near future for substance abuse. I want to remain as vague as possible so let’s just say it’s a substance that is easily available at any given time.

In the meantime, I have hidden her debt card and any cash I could find around the house (because of the availability). Also, what I am least proud of, I went into her phone an disconnected her accounts on venmo, cash app, Apple Pay…etc. so she basically has no access to any funds until she is admitted to the facility to start treatment (which again is right around the corner). Sometimes she’ll say “I get it”, I mean she knows she has a big problem and chose the place she wants to detox in and everything. Most of the time her attitude towards me is that I am a controlling asshole.

Today she told me that I took everything away from her, and that she is already getting treatment soon and uplifting her whole life, and I’ll never understand what she’s going through - which I don’t disagree with.

The treatment place advised not to quit cold turkey before she arrives there because of withdrawal symptoms. Cool. I get it. We want to be safe. The issue is that I guess I’ve been “rationing” her off her DOC to help taper - by which I mean not take enough to get fucked up. They told me which symptoms to look out for, and I’m looking out for them to the best of my ability. 

She says I’m “not allowed to tell [her] when [she] feels sick”. And that all of that stuff was not mine to take. She’s going thru such a hard time already but I’m caught between feeling so guilty and feeling responsible for her that I don’t know what the right thing to do it.",,1,1,1.0
808,j9ncyy,AITA for exposing my friend for being lesbophobic?,"I (f19) just exposed a friend (f19 too) after something she said in a party.

For context, i went to a birthay party for one of my best friends today. Our close friends were also there, we all met in school some time ago.

I was just chatting with my Ana (not her real name), a friend while checking something on Twitter. At the same time, a fanart of two girls what were just hugging (a shipping fanart) and the only thing that came out of her mouth was ""omg that's so gross, I, I dont like those things, i enjoy mlm sm more, wlw is just disgusting for me"". I'm not even exaggerating, that's literally what she said. 
Also, when she says ""enjoy mlm"" she reffers to fetichize them.

In the moment, I didnt knew how to feel, I am a sapphic person, even when I'm dating a guy rn, i just felt so disgusted, my stomach started to hurt, I just wanted to go. I know I may took it too personal.
Ilooked at her, so confused, and reduced everything and said ""just say youre lesbophobic"". 

Ana denied it and said I was overeacting. This is not the first time that she says something like that. Once, in college, we were discussing something abt this, and she called me a slur. I lost it and slapped her in the face, I addmit maybe I went too far that time, but, god, I was so angry

I asked a friend to take me out of the party and I went home, I felt terrible.
Then, I posted an insta story that said ""me when my straight friend that fetichizes gay (mlm) realtionships says the most lesbophobic and dehuminizing thing i've ever heard"" and tagged her on it, but in a way that no one could see the tag and know that i was talking abt her.
I posted it. No response.

Then i felt bad bc so many ppl where asking for it and i just explained (without mentioning who she was) and even when most of the ppl were on my side, they even told me to expose her and that I was being ""too nice"". 

I couldnt help but feeling bad bc i feel like I did an unnecessary thing by posting it and turnig it into a bigger problem than what it actually was, and that she may feel sorry about it.

I feel like I'm the asshole in that part, that's why I'm here, so AITA?",,1,1,1.0
809,whacky187,AITA for finally snapping.,My gf 22 has been belligerent. she can’t stop and has vowed to change it for a while. she acts as though she wants to fight sometimes when we argue. i’m a competitive mixed martial artist and i brush off her bullshit. She randomly went off on one and decided to go home. i pleaded with her not to and she said no fuck you. at this point i lost my cool and called her a spiteful bitch and said yh fuck off if that’s what she wanted. since then i’ve woken up to being blocked on every social media or messages there is. we’re 3 years deep.,,1,1,1.0
811,Outside-Bridge-5482,AITA for telling my MIL she’s not welcome in my house?,"Context: in previous visits my MIL has grabbed some items from a my house without asking and been a little invasive… the kind of person that checks your drawers and uses your perfume. 
I have lived with my boyfriend for 3 years now in a 3 bedroom house. One of the bedrooms is exclusively for me, I use it as an office and a walk-in closet and is my dogs favourite spot. 
Very recently I installed a camera to check on my dog when we’re not home… it’s in a very obvious place and it make a lot of noise when it’s scanning the room. 

My MIL stopped in our house in the middle of her road trip to visit her mother. She and her 2 younger sons stayed the night and were going to continue the journey first thing. My BsIL stayed in my boyfriends room and my MIL in my room (against my will). 

I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and didn’t check the cameras until the next day when she was gone. Turns out, she disconnected it the whole night and the first thing it started recording is: she looking around my sock drawer, picking and choosing 4 ideal pairs for her and putting them into her luggage. 

When I asked my boyfriend if she’d said anything before she left, he said “nothing”. 
We had the awkward conversation. I was completely shocked by what had happened. I caught her on camera stealing in her son’s house, however, we were very confused. If she wanted to steal why would she connect the cameras back?

I was also very angry because the videos show her going directly to the sock drawer, meaning she had already checked my underwear drawers. I don’t think ANYONE can have that level of closeness with a MIL, right?

Anyways, when my BF ask her about it she completely denied it. When we told her she was taped she said it was embarrassing for her to ask for some socks (of course it’s not the items but the stealing that it’s not allowed in my house)… so AITA for telling my MIL she’s not welcome in my house?",,1,1,1.0
812,Curious_Sympathy_988,AITA for quoting scripture?,"As a Jew I dont think I should be banned from things just for quoting scripture but it seems to happen alot. Sucks anti-sems are everywhere, why break me down, I am like you. I understand many hate me for my belief, so I will not post it here because I am scared of ban, am I asshole for this?",,1,1,1.0
813,WinstonTheFrog,AITA for yelling at someone in my class for snooping my texts,"So I am in eighth grade and there is this seventh grader who tends to do this to everyone. He has a disorder that causes him to not get social queues and that is why no one stands up for themselves. Today I was looking at my texts with my mom that had my address, family member names etc. And while I am reading he comes behind me and stares at my screen reading. It takes me like 15 seconds to notice him doing it. I notice and immediately start shouting telling him it is not okay to do that. He plugs his ears and so I start yelling. Most people praised me but one said that it was not okay to do that. I did probably blow the whole thing out of proportion but it has been happening all school year. She said he has a disorder and while  it is an explanation, it is not an excuse. I feel like he should still be punished just like me and the rest of us. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
814,Disastrous-Human,WIBTA if I got upset with stepmom for being mean to my sis,"I (27F) have a twin (27F) and she is a little difficult to deal with sometimes. She talks a lot, doesn’t always pick up on social cues, and tends to not have great social awareness. She stayed with my dad (62M) and stepmom (55F) for Christmas. She stayed in the room that my stepmom has dubbed my step sisters room. My stepmom has been rounding in on my twin. She got upset when I switched my twin a Christmas gift. She brought up multiple times that she does not help clean up dishes when all have dinner. She has been passive aggressive about her staying with them to my older sister (30F). SM to my older sister that twin is not allowed to stay their house. She attacked my twin over every little thing the whole time she was visiting them… eating in the night, leaving without telling her, cleaning dishes after dinner, and gifts she had gotten. The fact that my twins shoe gotten eaten by her pup and she doesn’t want to pay to fix this, because she told her not leave them around. WIBTA if I have a convo with her about how she is treating my twin sister and this is wrong of her.",,1,1,1.0
815,Pitiful-Fan-1799,AITA for fighting with my roommate?,"I (24F) live with 2 other roommates (24Fs) and we all currently work in the same city together. We all signed a year lease 6 months ago. The rent is $1500 total so we each pay $500. Recently, 2 out of 3 of us got transferred to a different state to work. The 3rd one (I’ll refer to as Z) wanted to transfer as well but she forgot to request a transfer and now has to wait another month to try and transfer because she also wants out of the lease and to move. Our landlord has been very understanding and working with us to accommodate our move and transfer our lease to new tenants. Since Z won’t be able to transfer until March we all planned to still pay February originally like normal. Recently, my landlord said that since me and the other roommate are transferring, he would be okay with Z having a different roommate for the month of February and they can both pay $500 for a total of the rent only being $1000 out of kindness to help out me and the other girl that have to transfer so we don’t have to pay for February since we won’t be living there anymore. Z is completely opposed to that idea because she doesn’t want me and the other girl getting the “easy way out” by not having to pay $500 like she would still have to. Even though her rent will not change at all. At one point she suggested that we add the new girl as a 4th roommate for the month of February so we all have to pay $375 instead of $500 each but I’m so mad that I denied her suggestion because I felt it was a kind thing to do for her to let me and the other roommate not have to pay for February since we won’t even be there and her rent wouldn’t change at all. Z is someone who I considered a close friend & would do anything for and if roles were reversed I would have totally let her be out of the lease if she wasn’t going to be living there anymore since the rent would not change but after this convo it turned into a nasty argument where she borderline threatened me and the friendship is now trashed.",,1,1,1.0
816,JupiterRadio12,AITA for not helping rude family members?,"Ok, what a mess. Sorry, this is long!

So, my mom's family is super dysfunctional. All her siblings fight and my cousins are just the same. They all try to one up each other and lie about the most bizarre random crap. There's a lot of alcoholism and they struggle financially. Well, my mom is the outcast. My dad has always earned over $100k, so my mom doesn't have to work. She did work until she started having health problems in 2020. My sister is the only one in our family to have a masters. So, I guess you could say our family is successful. They've always hated us for this and we've been called ""liars"" or accused of ""showing off,"" whatever. We rarely talk to them since there's always drama, but somehow our names always come up.

In 2016, my son started a YouTube channel to help me pay some medical bills. I have a rare genetic kidney stone disease called Cystinuria, so I pass stones daily. I was born with this, and there's no cure. My medical bills have always been crazy and the medication I need (Thiola EC) is $10k a month. My health insurance is around $1200 a month and I get stuck paying out of pocket a lot because Blue Cross sucks!

So, the channel got big fast (tbh, I wasn't even expecting that!) and that's when it got ugly... from 2016 to today, my mom's family has constantly made fun of my son. They call him names and put him down. He was only 9 when he started ffs! Now he's 16 and the pandemic hit his revenue hard. We've been struggling to pay my medical bills and we've basically burned up my savings last year. My son made a gofundme for me because things are so overwhelming again and my health is getting worse. No one donated (not that I expected anyone to) and most people either laugh or tell my son to stop being lazy and get off his ass. Of course my mom's family is loving all this. But the thing is, since they're never nice to us, I've stopped talking to anyone that has been toxic. I've always donated or bought things to be helpful and so has my son (he loves to donate!) but now it's ""you're so arrogant"" or ""if you're so rich, where's your mansion?"" LOL no one ever said anything about a mansion. All I've ever talked about is how much I hate medical bills. It consumes my whole life and I cannot get away from it. But they all see it as a big flex.

I've heard I'm a giant asshole for not donating to several Christmas fundraisers. I'm barely getting through the day and I'm an ass for not helping. This is the first time I'm not helping people.

Please, tell me, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
818,tamsinred,AITA for not staying?,"I'm moving at the beginning of February. But I only have until the 13th to get all my things packed and ready to be shipped out of state in pods. Obviously, this means I've been packing a lot recently. 

I visit my grandmother every week. We had a scheduled visit for today. My cousin ""Lisa"" is her caretaker. I don't like Lisa. I don't think Lisa does a good job. I've tried to get Gram to allow me to take over. It's not going to happen. Gram is of sound mind and wants Lisa. Oh well, you know? 

Anyways sometime in the afternoon, I get like 8 calls in a row from a number I don't recognize. Finally, on the 9th call, I answered. It was ""Lynne,"" who is Lisa's sisters daughter. Lynne asked if I was coming to Grams tonight. I figured she was with Gram and that Gram wanted to know if I was still coming. I told her I was. She asked what time I was coming, I told her, and that was it. 

When I arrive at Gram's, she asks if I'm ""still staying"" tonight. Like what? When did I say I was staying? She is under the impression that Lisa asked me to stay with her, and I had agreed. I check my phone, and sure enough, I have a text from Lisa asking if I'd stay with Gram all weekend. The text is from this morning. She asked me the day of if I would do something. She did this once before. I came and stayed with Gram, and told her in no uncertain terms that I'd need more notice next time. Well, apparently, she didn't think I needed notice. I hadn't answered her text. Normally, someone would take that as a ""no."" I would have answered if I'd seen it, but I'd been packing all day and had not. That's when I realized that when Lynne asked if I was coming to Grammy's, she meant was I staying for Lisa. She never said anything about overnight. 

I honestly would stay, but I need to pack. I'm also on medication that's very important to my health. I didn't bring it with me because I didn't know I needed it. At this point, I'm pissed. Lisa once again asked me the day of to stay with Gram. When I didn't answer her she had a random family member call me. The random family member doesn't properly get the question across. When I arrive, Gram is under the impression I had agreed to this. I had not. I would've risked my health and stayed if I had to. Because even though she'd literally never talked to me about it, Lisa had fucking left. Okay. Can't leave Gram alone. So I call Grams son and asked him to stay. He was able to. I'm happy it all worked out but... I feel badly that Gram expected me to stay with her. And again, I would have. With advanced notice, it would've been fine. And I would have stayed if my Uncle couldn't. Even though it would have risked my well-being. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
819,inthemidstofthat,AITA for telling my direct report he was disrespectful to me?,"During a meeting where me and several team members where talking back and forth about a certain topic, I spoke my piece again when this team member made a pause while he’s talking (i try my best to not cut off people so i usually wait when they pause or stop) - to hold his thought and to try to explain again a third time because he seem to not have understood what I said earlier. 

But then he immediately cut me off while i was mid sentence and told me in a loud rude sounding voice “can you stop talking and let me finish talking first?” It took me by surprise and i was offended but didnt want to cause conflict then so i let him be and pretend nothing embarrasing happened to me but i did notice my other direct reports were surprised as well with way he talked to me and with what he said. One’s jaw dropped even and after asked me if i was ok and cant he believe he talked to me that way especially since i’m his manager.

So later on, i talked to him about it and explained that i felt disrespected with how he talked to me and that its not ok. He said he didnt think he was disrespectful in any way and apologized. Then asked for advice on what to do when he feel like he’s being interrupted, so i gave him some pointers on how to be polite and respectful even in heated conversation when wanting to say something. 

I thought it went well then a few weeks later he sent me this: 

“I’ve been thinking about our last 1:1 and you mentioned I can ask questions if needed to ensure I understand what you are meaning. So I just wanted to make sure I understand the expectation, if I am interrupted while trying to talk I should do zoom 'raise hand' emoji and then wait for the person who interrupted me to finish before talking again? Thanks for your time.”

So i did my best to be nice in my reply but i felt his message was mocking me :(",,1,1,1.0
822,Meowllory91,AITA for selling my cheating husbands heirloom ring?,"My husband and I have been together and married for 4 years now. I recently found out for the last 4 years he’s financially sank us about $17k in OnlyFans and has been cheating on me. He also owes me a lot of money from working out of town and needing a room booked for almost 4 months. We agreed he’d pay it back and he has not paid anything towards it. Now that we’re getting a divorce, I asked him to pay that debt and he’s refusing. AITA for wanting to sell his grandmothers heirloom ring he gave me to pay for the debt he’s put me in? I’ve worked two jobs for 4 years to pay for our bills while he was a lazy fuck cheating on me.",,1,1,1.0
823,JoeyMooyay,AITA? My girlfriend of almost 3 years wants to move her cat from her teenage years in.,"Hello, my girlfriend of almost 3 years has a cat that is 10 years old that lives in her parents house.  She has been moved out for nearly a year and a half now and we have lived together for that long. Her parents have two other dogs with the cat. They have not trained there recent dog who is still young and larger. 

This dog is a mess now as it barks at everything it sees, can’t go to the dog park, and even jumps at people when they walk by it.  The dog even had to get sedated because it couldn’t stop freaking out when it was getting it’s nails clipped The dog bullies the cat and the cat is confined to one room all day basically. My gfs mom doesn’t really care about her. Barely cleans the litter box, doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t punish the dog for abusing the cat. The cat is fat because her mom doesn’t feed it cat food and it sneaks the dog food.  The cats hair is matted often and the they don’t seem to care about her.

Her mom recently asked if we would take her in, and I’m against it. My girlfriend and I have been talking about getting a kitten in a couple of months to raise from when it’s young. If we were to take in her cat, it would put our plans behind for other animals for a few years. Her cat is hostile towards other animals so we wouldn’t be able to get another kitten while we have her.  I feel bad for the cat, I really do. It’s just it feels like her mom is just trying to wipe her hands clean of her and it doesn’t feel right that we have to pause our plans for her.  

My girlfriend is upset that I won’t accept. But I just feel like it’s too much to ask and it’s not our fault so why should we be responsible.  I know how she feels too though and it’s a tough situation but I just don’t feel like it’s ok for us to take her in. If I resent the cat then it won’t be good for our relationship or the cats life either. It just feels like a no win situation.",,1,1,1.0
824,Hinxsey,AITA for wanting a functional coffee table?,"Just coming out of the festive season and my wife of 10 years and I were packing up the Christmas tree & decorations.

One element of the decorations was a festive table runner and Christmas themed display that we had on the coffee table for the month of December. My wife was very protective of the table runner, to the point that we weren’t allowed to rest any drinks or plates on the table out of fear of marking/staining it - It was annoying but I sucked it up for the month as she is really into Christmas and it made her happy. 

So back to packing up the decorations, as she is boxing the table runner she mentioned that she really liked how it looked, and she wants to go out this weekend and get a non Christmas themed one to use the rest of the year. I said that’s fine, as long as it’s okay that we can use our coffee table as, ya know, a coffee table. 

She looked at me like I was insane, explaining that no, the same rules would apply as the Christmas runner. I said that was silly, as what was the point in even having a table if we aren’t allowed to use it? I said I’d rather not have a coffee table than a coffee table I wasn’t allowed to use, now she isn’t talking to me because I rained on her parade. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
828,Ordinary-Shift-2422,AITA for not caring about my aunt-in-law?,"I (34f) met my husband (40m) in 2011. At the time, he was not in a good place in his life. He lived with his aunt (60ish?) and his cousin (m, mid-late 20s now IIRC). By the time my husband and I started dating in Dec 2012, he wasn't living with them anymore. So I never saw them. The only thing I heard about them for years was my mother-in-law ""helping"" them. I got pregnant with our son in Spring 2015. In Fall 2015, I shared a meme on Fb that said basically ""naming a baby sucks when you hate everyone"" and I wrote ""I'm not naming my son ""John"" to carry on the family name, when my own husband doesn't even go by his first name."" Aunt took high offense to this post, even though my statement had nothing to do with her or her family, as my husband is named after his dad.

We didn't hear from them anymore after that. Until late 2021; my husband said he was talking to his cousin again. I didn't care, but I still didn't like her, but it wasn't my place to stop them from talking. Our son turned 7 yesterday. They have never met our son. They've never tried to. They don't send cards, celebrate with us, etc, literally absolutely nothing. He's been on this planet 7 years and they've made zero effort to meet or know him. I have been with my husband for an entire decade. Clearly these people have no desire to actually be a family with us. Also, they live 20 min away from us, so it's not like they're in another state. And I mean, c'mon.. it's 2023. Cell phones are thing.

Yesterday, my husband tells me his aunt has pneumonia and is in the hospital. My response was a very monotone ""oh that sucks."" But when he continued to talk about it, I stopped him. I told him I genuinely don't care. These people mean nothing to me. They've made no effort to be a part of ours or our son's lives in all this time. Why should I care? ""They're still my family."" Okay. Your point? We both know that blood doesn't always equal family. We just went through this whole mess on Christmas with my blood family that proved that point. I have no desire to waste energy on anyone who doesn't even want to reciprocate. I'm getting too old to let people and their toxicity be a drain on me. He didn't like that. I don't know what to tell him. I can't force empathy for someone who is basically a stranger. He says if it wasn't for her taking him in around the time we met, he may be dead or we may not have met, but to me that's neither here nor there. I know my husband and he's always been a survivor. She provided a flimsy roof over his head for a period. I'm sure he could've found another place to stay. I don't believe that would've changed our life trajectories. But I digress. The situation with her doesn't sound good. I don't know if she's going to die and I can't force myself to give a shit. I love my husband and don't want him to hurt, but I also feel like my feelings regarding this woman are justified.

So Reddit, let me have it. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
829,Routine-Watercress40,AITA for not wanting my BIL at my house after he cheated on my sister?,"First I want to clarify that English is not my first language.

For context, my (32F) older sister (35F) has been married (35M) for 10 years. Since they were dating I didn't like my brother-in-law, there was something that I didn't quite like. They were dating for about 6 months when she got pregnant and got married. Due to economic problems they had to go live at my parents' house after 5 years of marriage when they already had another baby.

They did not support anything at all in the house (neither financially nor with the cleaning), I paid for everything. After 6 years of marriage, during a fight, my BIL told my sister that he no longer loved her (besides, my sister already knew that he had cheated on her multiple times in the past) and left the house.

During the last 4 years my sister has go back with to my BIL at least 2 times a year and the relationship only lasts 2 months and she returns to my parents' house (because the man doesn't love her or because she realizes that he is still cheating).

In October 2022 my dad passed away and now my sister invited my BIL to the Christmas and New Year celebrations at the house. I talked to my sister and told her that he is not our family and he should not have gone to those celebrations, but my sister got mad at me and says that she did it for the childrens. My mom isnt felling well since my dad's death so she doesn't say anything and she don’t want me to fight with my sister.
So, AITA for not wanting my BIL at my house?

Additionally, I live with my parents (now my mom, sister and her kids) because I am the one who pays for everything. I once tried to move but my mom beg me not to go, because they have financially problems.",,1,1,1.0
830,Lil_Big_Sis5,AITA for being curious about my father,"Context: I (28f) have never known my father, or his family, but I have always been curious about them. The only reason I exist is because he did something to my mom that Reddit won’t let me mention, but I think you can connect the dots. There was also a history of domestic disputes (that’s again putting it mildly for Reddit’s sake).

I recently met him for the first time ever at my grandmother (his mother)’s funeral and he honestly seemed to be completely different from the monster who was described to me. Would I be an asshole to still want to know him knowing what he did to my mom?",,1,1,1.0
831,Terrible_Purchase904,AITA for ignoring my mother while she's in the hospital because she's ignoring that I had surgery this week?,"I got dental surgery today. All four wisdom teeth came out. I was in excruciating pain the last four to five days, with my face throbbing whenever I laid down and throbbing even worse when I stood up. Basically made it so I was useless as a person. My mom has known about this surgery for months now but, in her mind, it's not a big deal because my teeth weren't bothering me before. The pain just started this week. Coincidentally, she ended up in the hospital for a slipped disk, so she needs help with maintaining her bills, mail, washing clothes, getting things from her house, etc. I had no problem doing this for the past month, coming every 3 days or so because my older siblings are often MIA and do not care. But this week, I was withing in pain. My mom does not care. She texts me or calls and literally two seconds later, she's back to asking when am I going to run her errands (sometimes I have to go pay bills in person). Today, I literally had surgery to take out my wisdom teeth. I feel better than I did yesterday as there's no throbbing anymore but, my face is sore and I'm still spitting up blood because it hasn't healed. She was better today as she talked to me for ten minutes first but, then went immediately into asking about her errands. Meanwhile I'm feeling wozy and trying to figure out how much of an issue is it if my sink is dark red from my spit hours later. Am I an asshole for ignoring her calls? I kinda feel like I need to spend the next 3 days I have off relaxing and feeling better for when I start work, and that my sisters can take care of my mom for this weekend but, my mom basically thinks that because I drove myself to buy ice cream today for my gums that I'm faking everything.",,1,1,1.0
833,derkknight22,WIBTA: Best man speech for my brother,"Hi Reddit, 

First time post! Last year my brother got engaged. A few months later, to my surprise, he asked me to be his best man. Although I’ve never been close to my brother I said yes. They’re wedding is coming up quickly - it will be early May later this year. Recently he asked me if I would do a speech. I haven’t said no yet but but leaning heavily towards that. First off I am painfully uncomfortable in a public setting. I know I wouldn’t be able to do a speech without wanting to pass out. I know it’s something I need to work on in life but to me this isn’t the best setting to do that. Secondly, I’m just not close to my brother. I feel like he asked me out of obligation since his wife asked her sister who is close to her. In fact he bullied me heavily growing up and although that dynamic has changed to being civil, we just coexist and are not close in general. So even if I could get over my fear of public speaking I don’t have much to say that would be on par with the expectation of a best man speech. In all honestly I don’t like my brother and who he is. The burden of obligation will make sure I’m there and comply with all their wedding requests with a smile but as far as a speech goes I feel like I need to be honest with myself. I think I can focus on my fear of public speaking and he would push back but eventually accept it but resent me for it (which I can live with). I haven’t said no yet as I want to gauge if this is me being an a-hole because at the end of the day I don’t want it to cause drama for his special day. I’m open to any solutions or guidance to help me make sure I’m approaching this the right way. Thanks!",,1,1,1.0
835,blazery22,AITA for bringing pinksauce at my sisters party,"Me 21F ate pinksauce at a party with chicken in it and I brought it in too the party. Then my Sister Anciax 26 said ""GET THAT OUT OF THE PARTY OR ELSE"" while her Daughter who I wont share there age or name dipped a fry in there. And then Anciax got furiated forcing me and my Fiance 21M to leave and go home AITA.",,1,1,1.0
836,masegesege,AITA for trying to see my brother for the first time in almost 6 years?,"Background: I live in Asia, my brother lives in midwest US, and my parents are on the east coast. Last time I saw him was before I moved here in 2017. My parents and I drove for about 2-3 to see him, stayed for maybe 4 days, and then drove another 2-3 days back home. I love travelling, he's never left the US but he's been all over.

I'm a teacher, so my free time is usually winter break (late January - early February) or summer. My brother has a seasonal job so his free time is usually in the Fall and the Spring. He claims it's impossible to get time away from work except for the off season, which might be somewhat true but he's also attended out of state weddings in summer before so it can't be totally impossible.

I went home once in winter 2018, then the pandemic hit in 2020 so all of our plans were thrown off. After restrictions were eased a bit I was able to go home last summer to see my parents for about three weeks. I asked my brother if there was anyway he could get a day or two off and find a way home or meet up somewhere in the middle. It's been years since we've all been together as a family so my parents and I would all be happy to contribute money to make it happen. He said it's impossible but that I could go out west to see him. That would either be 4-5 days of driving, or a very expensive flight that would still require many hours of driving and with only 19 days at home, it didn't seem like the best use of my limited time. (Not to mention he'd still be working so I'd only see him for a few hours at best.)


This April my spring holiday happens to be longer than the usual four day weekend, so I asked my brother if he'd be willing to come here to visit me. I could also use up some PTO to extend the break. I figured I went to see him before, and he's never been out of the US so it might be cool to show where I live and give him a unique experience. My parents would also be willing to come too. Family adventure in Asia sounds fun, no?

He refused, saying that he has no interest in China (I'm not in China). I've since offered other cool places where we could meet up, but he's refused all of them. I brought the idea up again the other day, but not offering destinations, more just saying that it'd be cool if we could figure something out because we haven't seen each other in so long and if we don't meet up soon then when will we? Funerals and weddings?


My dad said my brother called him, very angry because I'm allegedly ""guilting"" him and ""pestering"" him into trying to go to China (again, I'm not in China). AITA?",,1,1,1.0
837,InvestiMein,AITA for being annoyed with this friend?,"Im a 19f and I met this 21m friend all most a year ago from somewhere I used to work. At first everything was good, he was nice.

My friend 20f also recently met him. After a few months we all made a group chat with him. I won’t lie I’m not good at communicating or being a good friend so I tell people to tell me if there’s something I can improve on. Anyways, 20f told 21m about something that happened in her past and he said “damn your disgusting.” That absolutely rubbed me the wrong way because that something was someone groom her. 

After that I started becoming annoyed at him. He then started becoming judge mental towards her and when he apologized he doesnt seem sincere. 

Sometimes I apologize because I feel bad for being rude to someone :(",,1,1,1.0
838,Stayhomeandeatchips,AITA for cutting payments to my niece & nephew’s tuition?,"I (38F) & my wife (39F) have 3 kids together, Alice(13F), Thomas(12M), and Teddie(11F). our youngest teddie has adhd and autism but we treat her as normal as possible so she doesn’t feel alienated. she’s also very obsessed with squishmallows. My kids also have been taking dance since they were 4. My sister (30F) has 2 kids, Alex(13M) and Ella(11F).

I live in a good area which means good school. My sis wanted her kids in that school but she doesn’t wanna drive nor pay for the kid’s tuition so we have an agreement. I have her kids on school days and on Friday-Monday she has her kids. I also pay the tuition.

The day before winter break I took the kids to an outdoor mall and there was a little dance off, the kids wanted to join so I said ok. I told my kids when going against their cousins to go easy on them. Long story short it comes down to Alice vs Ella. I told Alice go easy, and she agreed but she won. This made Ella upset and she even threw a tantrum in public.

the next day we got report cards and when this happens my sister comes out here to review them with me, this time she brought my mom. she hasn’t really been supportive of me growing up. when I went to go pickup the kids my oldest was upset. Apparently there was a rumor that she pays teachers to give her good grades. I told her don’t feed into it if it aint true, but she was still upset. She said the rumor started from Alex‘s instagram account. I told her we will confront him with his mom and she said ok.

when we got home we opened report cards, my kids got good grade and my sisters kids didn’t do so well. they had failing grades. Alex pulled up the rumor of Alice paying the teachers and when I defended her my sister said that I was paying the teacher. 

I told them I couldnt do this anymore. And either my sister start paying tuition for her kids or take them and their stuff home with her and dont bring them back. She said that I just wanted an excuse to make her kids sad and have them fail in life. This wasn’t true. Then she started saying I wanted this to send my youngest to a special need’s school. I said she doesn’t need a special needs school And she does just fine where she at and a fight ensued.

My mom during this fight pulled my youngest aside and told her that this was her fault. she scolded teddie for having adhd and autism apparently ending this conversation with calling her a r\*t\*rd.

I ended up kicking them out. later that night I heard my youngest crying. I asked her what was wrong and she apologized to me. she said she was sorry for having adhd, for having autism, and for being different. My wife ended up cheering her up. Telling her she was perfect the way she was and she doesn’t need to change a thing about herself. but now I feel guilty. If I had just stayed quiet maybe My daughter wouldn’t be so upset. So Reddit, Am I The Asshole?",,1,1,1.0
840,Fuzzy_Phoenix_,WIBTA for going to a school across the country?,"I (14) am preparing to go high school next school year. My dad, uncle, grandfather, great-grandfather, and a close family friend all went to the same school in Massachusetts. I don't live in Massachusetts, I actually live across the country.

​

We visited our family there this Christmas and my dad booked a tour of the school. I displayed interest and we'd like to apply. We've already started the process.

​

I told my mom about it yesterday, and she was *livid*. She cried and told me ""you're not a mom, you don't know what it's like."" Which is true, I've never experienced the pain of having a child leave for school. She tried to tell me a bunch of the cons, like how much physical activity I'll need to do daily (I have problems exercising), or how my auditory issues will make my time there miserable, things like that.

​

She tells me I'm only a teenager, I can't just *do* that without her permission. True, but I also live with my dad, and he said he's willing to take her to court (though I don't think it's that big of a deal). This is the same woman who told me years ago ""you're 11, you're practically adult"" (her words exactly).

​

I honestly don't feel that bad for wanting to go to this school, but I know she'll give my dad and me hell should I go through with applying. There's a good chance I won't even get in. But if I *don't* go, my dad's just going to choose my school for me anyway, and it's one I've shown plenty of disinterest towards.

​

So WIBTA for choosing to apply, regardless of how my mom feels?",,1,1,0.99
842,Fgidy,AITA for not giving my family a proper goodbye before they left for 1 month?,"It was the end of my first day of school for my 2nd semester. I attend college far away from my mom and younger brother but my dad is here. My mom & younger brother were visiting and were leaving on the same day. I went back to the college dorm and my younger brother stayed with me for a few hours. I get a call from my mom saying that I should go to the cafeteria with my younger brother to eat and that they will be coming very soon. Slightly embarrassed, I don't complain and I go with him to eat supper. There are other people in the cafeteria but not that much as it was almost closing. My mom and dad come in a few minutes later for a final goodbye in the cafeteria. My mom asks me for a hug and I decline at first but then hug her. They leave and I could tell that they knew I was very embarrassed. A few minutes later I start crying to my mom on the phone in my room about how I don't like living in the dorm. I have never cried like this in a long time and I don't understand why I did this.

I'm just ashamed that I couldn't say goodbye to them properly as in the country they were born in it's a tradition to kiss each other on the cheeks before saying goodbye. This happened yesterday and I'm still feeling sad about it and I don't know why. I was really happy on the first day and I could tell something happened between me and my family. I won't see my mom and brother in another month.

The truth is I'm just writing this post because I feel pretty sad about it.",,1,1,1.0
845,accountforaita6537,AITA for telling my son some people are very successful and want to share their work?,"My eldest son (25) studied engineering in college for the first year, but then switched to political science, and now works as an analyst for a small firm. He did very well at school, but I always felt he would've had a more successful career if he went down his engineering path. It's not that he wasn't doing well in it, he was getting very good results but decided to switch anyway. Regardless, me and my wife supported his decision because it's his choice, and we're proud of him.

My nephew is around the same age as my son and majored in an IT field. He got multiple job offers out of college and is now working with a company with plenty of opportunities to climb up the ranks. (My brother and nephew sometimes talk about how my nephew's going and keep the family updated.)

A few days ago our family got together for New Year's. After a while I was talking to my son and he seemed annoyed, saying ""that they kept going on about themselves"". I told him he was just sharing his successes and I don't think there's anything bad about it. My son continued and said that my brother put him down, and it was ""annoying"", and he (my son) never says things like this. 

At this point, I replied he chooses not to say anything, that's fine, but some people are very successful and do want to share their work, and there will always be people more successful. There's nothing wrong with that.

My son got angry with me, and hasn't replied to my texts. My other kids think I went too far, but my wife thinks he's overreacting and will cool off.",,1,1,1.0
846,MajoCast97,AITA for wanting to leave my boyfriends house?,"Hi, first of all English is not my foreign language so I hope I don’t mess up.
I (25F) live un my boyfriends house with his mom, his sister and his sister daughter. We used to live with my sister in law boyfriend too but on February 2022 he hit on me but it wasn’t the first time but he always did it when he was drunk so I didn’t make a big deal out off it. But this last time he touched me and was saying this like “your a$$ looks really good in those pants” or “I like you but in a good way” and even ask me if he could touch my a$$ and even tried to kiss me (this whole thing happened when we were on a familiar trip). I told my boyfriend everything and when we got back home he told me we had to talk to her sister and mom about it. I was really scared so I suggested we should talk to her mom first. We did and obviously she said we had to tell my sister in law. I did and se believed me and kick him out of the house (off course he didn’t admit it) BUUUT they got back together a couple of weeks later.
After that everything went down, my sister in law was and is having weird acts against me not wanting me to share a lot with her daughter, even is she is busy on her phone and I’m trying to give her my attention since she is only 2yo but when she notices it she grabs her and takes the baby away and a lot more. Just to mention I always thought that you have to always be there for your couples family, I even throw her the gender party and everything, but this has me sick and wanting to just forget about them and leave. 
AITA?",,1,1,1.0
848,ImNotSuspicious1,AITA for not being responsible?,"In short I started the process of a name change. My stepdad payed the fee of 150$ and got it started. Basically it went great i got it approved and what not but they said I need to publish my name change in a local paper for 3 consecutive weeks.

Here’s where it begins. So my mom takes ALL the documents the receipt, the signed forms, and even the instructions to the newspaper thing. I don’t know if this was in my (step) dads knowledge or not.

Basically we got a letter today that reads as follows…
“ within 20 days of receipt of the judgment, the petitioner must make public notice of the name change, at least once a week for three consecutive weeks in the [local paper] or legal leisure. In addition, proof of sad notice must be filed in the office of the clerk, within 10 days after the date of the last publication. It is in your interest if I was your name change, or it may be an effective. ** this is your responsibility**” the last bold bit was also underlined.

I’m getting the heat for not reminding my dad or mom about this “enough”. I reminded them several times but then they forgot and kept forgetting now it’s my fault and my dad said “you should have done the online but then I payed for it” only thing is I had the paper forever until I got the name change. 

So AITA for not being responsible?

If you need more info I will give it with a bit of ID info left out.",,1,1,1.0
850,Educational-Ant5261,AITA for punishing my daughter for staying out past curfew?,"The other day, I was in the living room, sending some emails, and then I heard the door open. It turned out to be my daughter (18F) who came into the living room at 10:30 PM. Her curfew is 10:00. 

I can't believe the audacity of my daughter. She thinks she can just do whatever she wants and not face any consequences. I've always tried to be a good father, to set rules and boundaries for her own protection, but she just ignores them all and does whatever she pleases. And now, she has the nerve to just sit there and act like nothing is wrong. I'm boiling with anger and frustration. I don't even know how to begin to deal with her disrespectful and rebellious behavior. I just wish she could understand how her actions affect not only herself, but also those around her, especially me as her father who loves and cares for her.

As punishment, I took her car and allowance away and have drained her bank account of all it's funds. As well as this, I have smashed her smartphone.

My wife said that I was being too harsh. However, I feel I cannot let a child of mine believe they can just do whatever they want. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
851,Celestia_28,AITA for telling my therapist about my mom when she told me not to,"So I 16 F has always resented my parents for all they have put me through. I know I am not there favourite child mostly cuz when my sister was born she had a problem( I am not going to give that much information ) she had a problem when she was born she was in the hospital for most of the time up until she was 2 she had a surgery that helped with her problem. While my sister was in the hospital my mom was with her all the time and my dad was working so I spent most of my time at school and at home with my grandmother from my mom’s side therefore we had a good bonding with each other. After my sister was alright my grandmother left. My life was normal but now I barely got any attention from my parents and it was kinda clear they didn’t care about me that much they would say things such as “oh you aren’t that hurt you are stronger and you sister is the one that needs more care”.Even tho she is fine cuz the surgery she had. I was emotionally abused by my parents most my life. They would guilt trip me many times about simple things and if I did something stupid they would forcefully drag me to the entrance of our house and saying “ why did you do that and you  can live outside and to leave their house” they would lock the doors and I would have to ring the bell many times while crying and they would let me in after 30-60 minutes. They would also do this when it is snowing or raining. Mind you I was around 7-8 when they would do this. And when I come in they say “are you ready to say sorry if not then go out and come in when you are”. Almost all the time my mom says to say sorry again because she thinks that I didn’t mean it or my voice is to trembling from crying.

I have many more things to say but that will make this to long. I would also like to say my mom forces me to make friends with my mom’s friends daughters as-well and thinks I have a problem making friends so I convinced her to take me to therapy for having anxiety and other things. That was a lie because I don’t like her friends daughters because like everybody everyone has a type of people they want to hang with right, well my mom doesn’t believe that and thinks I am being stubborn so I used that to get what I want, a therapist. I eventually got one and told her everything she felt bad for me and said I am suffering from emotional abuse and all. My mom may had a hunch that I might be talking about her so she said to promise not to tell the therapist about her and problems at home I lied and said no but she didn’t know. After with the therapist it has gotten a bit better but the thing is my mom stopped me from going and canceled my sessions. I haven’t seen my therapist for 6 months, I have talked to my mom about this and she said money is the issue so that is why she stopped. I know that is wrong because we are good financially and she made other excuses like your father doesn’t like when you go there and you are just wasting money talking to her. And other excuses that I forgot but yea.",,1,1,1.0
853,lee-mi-sun,AITA for telling my sister she doesn't care about our mom or her kids?,"So a little context. I (f23) have nine siblings I currently live with my mom, dad and older sister 27
Our sister, who we'll refer to ask M(30) has two kids (m13) (f7). I love them all a lot but it's hard to be around. They were living with us, by due to my nephew's attitude and my sisters lack of parenting, she told them they had to move. 
My nephew has severe anger issues, bipolar as well as a psychotic disorder. M doesn't do anything for him, he won't take his meds and she never gives him any serious punishments. While my niece can be punished for doing absolutely nothing. Her brother also treats her bad while M just watches. They moved out in the middle of the school year and M tried to transfer them but no one would take my nephew due to his behavior problems. So during the week M and the kids have to stay with us so they can continue school and on the weekends they would leave to go to their house.

So these last few months have been really hard on my mom. She's dealing with a lot of medical issues and the doctors warned her to stay away from stress. Which means that we have to constantly tiptoe around my nephew, not knowing what will send him into a downward spiral.

He is constantly getting sent home from school for fighting, swearing, bring disrespectful to teachers, ect. The school, my mother and myself are trying to do everything we can for him, but it's so hard and my moms health is declining because of it. 

I try not to show favoritism to my niece but I can't help it when she gets treated the way she does. And my sister will do nothing about it. M is constantly buying my nephew things, a phone, a new switch, a PS4 and my niece gets nothing.

The plan to go to their house on the weekends doesn't ever happen. They're here all the time and my mom never gets a break, it's never calm, quiet or peaceful which is what she needs.

when I came home from work my niece will run up to me and give me a hug, its a daily routine of ours. I also had to put a fingerprint lock doorknob on my door to keep my sister from going through my stuff and my nephew picking on my cats.

He just found out the my nieces fingerprint was on my doorknob. He started screaming, throwing things, and saying that I love her more than him, and I don't treat him the same way I treat him sister. I didn't want to deal with him so I scouped up my niece and put her in my room so I could call their mom at work.

I called my sister while she was at work and told her that we will not be watching him anymore. He constantly disrespects us and I'm not taking it.

I also told her that she needed to start treating mom with respect and they if she doesn't get my nephew under control he's going to hurt someone. I told her that she didnt even realize how this was affecting our moms health, and that she was just using her as a free babysitter. I said that if something happened to mom, I would never talk to her again. After I was done I hung up. But now that I think about it, I may have been too harsh, aita?",,1,1,1.0
854,Stargaryen818,AITA for refusing to get married at my father’s request because he has cancer,"I come from a Pakistani family and have been avoiding the arranged marriage process ever since I was 23 years old. I am now 30, and have been in a relationship with my Korean boyfriend for a little more than a year. I’ve been engaged to someone I didn’t have feeling for (at my parents’ request) and it almost killed me. My father and I have also fought because he was trying to get me married to someone against my will last year, and it destroyed our relationship. He did a lot of toxic things and it was quite an abusive chain of events. We made up last year though and have been on much better terms.

Recently he got diagnosed with cancer, and wants me to get married ASAP so he can be at my wedding. He’s practically begging me at this point, but I get really anxious because I’m not ready. He says he’s confused as to why I’m still not ready for marriage at 30 years old. However, I want to take my time and finally feel like I have control over my own relationships. I feel happy and content with the pace at which I’m going. Am I the asshole for refusing to get married and fulfilling his wishes?",,1,1,1.0
855,BigTurnip392,AITA for being slightly racist?,"It was nighttime and raining. I decided to cross the street after a man with a jacketHe also had his hood up, walking with arms swinging slightly away from his body.

But here are my thoughts... I'm a man, and there's been a couple times when a woman has crossed the street and stood to the side under the streetlight when I happened to end up walking \~25+ feet behind them at night. And I don't fault them at all. In fact, I'm glad they do it. I don't want to cause them fear. And I'm sure the tactic results in less attacks overall.

But I do understand how it must suck to feel like this way for something as trivial as skin color. I have the privilege of feeling safer at night, so why would I be upset at those for not having that priviledge.",,1,1,1.0
857,Neptuuneee,AITA for dropkicking me and my wifes infant when she unplugged our TV,"Me and my wife have been living together for 4 years and we have a 2 year old child. I was watching TV and my wife called me into the kitchen but I refused to because I was very invested in the show I was watching (dont ask abt the name, I dont remember). And eventually she unplugged the TV and it happened. Out of rage I ran towards our 2 year old kid and dropkicked his fatass",,1,1,1.0
858,Quiet_Metal_2626,AITA For not wanting to watch a movie with my parents?,"I (16f) just left the room after my parents forced me to sit in there and watch an R rated movie, only for them to question if I should’ve been there in the first place after the sexual humor. It’s some movie called Fist Fight and i do not want to watch it.
 
My parents value family movie night and most of the time I never want to watch the movies, just because they don’t really interest me. But they take it very personally and pulled the “I guess you don’t love us if you don’t want to spend time with us” move on me and it only pissed me off. I don’t want to watch an R rated movie, mainly because they aren’t always funny to me, though Im sure that movie is plenty funny, Im just not in the mood. So I go and sit at my desk and they keep saying “Are you sure you don’t wanna watch it?” and “You’ll like it, it’s a comedy!” and stuff but I keep saying no, especially because I’m busy doing my own thing.

Dad then sends me a text that says “I suggest you come watch the movie” and I knew he was gonna start yelling at me so I stare at him from my room (the living room is right down the hall from my room) and I glare at him and close the door. He then comes in and starts to say that I shouldn’t be this difficult and It’s just a movie, so I say if it’s just a movie, why is it so important? He’s always saying things like “You’re gonna regret not spending time with me when I’m gone” and stuff and it was basically what this conversation consisted of. He also told me it’s not like I do anything and I just lie in bed all day, sorry dad that I’m literally depressed (he knows this, I’m diagnosed) and sometimes don’t feel like getting out of bed. Anyways he said if I didn’t go he’d ground me so I got up and sat down, already hating the movie because him forcing me to watch it didn’t make me suddenly want to watch it.

And in the five minutes there’s literal naked women and they acted all surprised. Like, it’s a fucking R rated movie, what did you expect? My 14 year old brother was there and they were wondering if me and him should even be watching it so I started yelling that I knew this was going to happen. It’s an R rated movie, it’s going to have this kind of content. They made me stay anyway and said it would be fine, then some kid was jacking off in the stall in the movie and then they debated once again. Dad said it was my call to leave so I left. I couldn’t care less anymore, they already ruined the movie for me since they forced me to watch it and then wanted to go back on their decision. Dad said I was being rude and cold, but I just wasn’t in the mood and then they forced me into it. So AITA?",,1,1,1.0
859,Revolutionary_Tie276,AITA for leaving my mom on holiday and going home?,"I 21F have a bad relationship with my mom. Years ago I was diagnosed with a long term illness. During this time, my mom had verbally and physically abused me multiple times and kicked me out of the house while keeping my brother. My father then decided to take me in and helped me through my illness which is now under control. Once in blue moon she would contact me, act fake loving and then not long after would return to her abusive which would be a cycle of me blocking her out again. 

She managed to gain a lot from divorce settlement and became rich. Once she sold the house, she sent my brother to live with us and moved overseas. During this time, I hardly heard from her until she came back to this country and she decided to reconnect with us. She wanted to take us on a holiday of our choice so we agreed on a country, but rejected all suggestions. We realised we never really had a choice and just went with it.

My brother 24M is autistic and mute. He has certain methods of communication that he uses. We requested a separate room for my brother, to which my mother rejected and insisted the one she chose was suitable. When we got there, it was a grubby old hotel room with a single and a small double bed. Instantly I complained and the hotel took us to a sister hotel a few yards away which had a room with more beds and separated bedrooms for free. This would still have access to both hotel’s facilities. My mother refused she threw a fit shouting at me. Now what started this fight is funny because I said she’s shouting and she misinterpreted it as me saying she saying she smells to which she got physical. When we went back to the original hotel lobby, I protested with my brother (who had communicated prior he wanted the upgrade and didn’t want to share a room). I just started crying in a quiet corner of the hotel as she kept yelling at me to go home, and wouldn’t let me talk to my brother to try get help going to the airport. So at this point she started yelling “crocodile tears” and insults whilst I called my dad asking him for help when she left. We left back to the room to retrieve our passports and found she went through our bags and seized my brother’s passport and refused to let him leave. My brother wanted to leave and she kept begging him to stay and telling me to leave . She finally returned them and we went back to the lobby to book a flight home. Finally, we returned to the room to change and retrieve our cases. Whilst I changed in the bathroom, she was acting erratic, filming my brother changing and trying to prevent him from leaving. At last we made it to the airport and a few months later, off a different number she begged my brother to contact her which he ignored. My mother is now claiming I was the only one in the wrong as the country we were visiting is not particularly safe, especially for women. She’s claiming i’m the asshole for leaving her alone there and supposedly manipulating my brother to leave as well. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
866,sillyg00se1223,AITAfor rehoming an outdoor cat?,"Sorry for the long post. My boyfriend and I have had a cat come to our house for a few months. We have been giving her water and feeding her whenever she comes to visit. She is such a sweet cat and she normally sits on our porch everyday enjoying her time being sheltered from the rain and snow. 

We have considered taking her in, but we already have a home full of pets and have no room for another fur baby. A few weeks ago, we were hit with a major winter storm and we were worried about the cat because we didn’t see her during the worst of the storm. It was nearly below zero the entire time the storm was here. 

We later saw her on our porch with her tail partially frozen. We made a mini shelter on our porch and gave her fresh water. Signs were pointing to this cat being a stray. Well we later found out that the cat is owned by a neighbor a few blocks out. We were obviously upset that they didn’t shelter this cat during the storm. 

Today we found the cat again on our porch again with her tail having an exposed wound. Worried for her health, we took her to the vet and 200 dollars later we got her antibiotics. I feel that this cat is not being taken care of properly and I want her to find a home with someone who can love her and take care of her.  Our neighbor let us know that the cat is an outdoor cat because the owner is allergic and can’t have her in the house. While talking to our next door neighbor letting her know she got some shots, she mentioned that the cat is up to date on her shots and was recently vaccinated. So her owners care enough to give her shots, but not enough to give her shelter during a winter storm or let her inside at all? I currently have the cat in my garage and she is resting after visiting the vet. She has her own set up with lots of blankets, food and water. She is so sweet and is clearly craving attention and love.

Am I the asshole for seeking a new owner for this cat in hopes that they will properly take care of her? I have a potential person lined up. At the end of the day though, this is someone’s cat.",,1,1,1.0
867,Corporate_Shrill,AITA for asking if I could use a different earpiece?,"I just started my first job and I am required to wear a walkie talkie with an earpiece in my ear at all times. The earpiece is a cheap plastic one that kind of clips to my ear with an earbud that goes in. It is ultra uncomfortable after an 8 hour shift, especially since I also wear glasses. 

I asked my manager if I could bring a more comfortable one from home. He said yes, I could but it has to be the exact same kind. So it defeats the purpose. I asked why and he said that the employees need to be uniformed. Including the earpiece I asked, and he said of course. He asked what was wrong with the one I had and I said it was uncomfortable and he said I just needed to get use to it and he has never had someone complain about them before. 

For the record I knew the company was particular about how all employees dress, males have to have black pants, white dress shirt, tie, matching aprons, but I felt it was a little ridiculous that extended all the way to the earpiece.

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
869,Daeries,AITA for spending my sisters money on something else?,"Today is my moms birthday. She turned 39 today. Money has never been our strong suit as we have always struggled financially but I wanted to do something really nice for her. I usually only had about $5 around January that I would spend but this time I had about $60 so I decided to splurge a bit, while setting aside some money for college. She is a really good mom and even when she struggles with money she has taken care of me and my sisters first. I especially emphasis how much she deserves a good birthday because she was recently made a grandma.

I’m a middle child and we all live with our mom. My mom has constantly provided us with internet, food, etc, essentially everything we needed and wanted. 

My younger sister turned 16 recently and got a bunch of money. This morning I asked her if she wanted to pitch any money towards buying my mom birthday stuff and she gave me $10 for flowers.

I get my mom a few things from the store and realize they don’t have flowers so I call my sister and ask if she wants me to get something else and she said she would just rather not get our mom anything at all. I ask her why and tell her about this soap set she would really like that I found but she doesn’t care.

The $60 I had was on my credit card that I forgot at home, so I figured I could get a few things with the cash and send her the money later. Well we ended up spending a lot of time out and made it home a bit late, leaving only 30 ish minutes to clean (which is what my mom claimed is all she wanted). On our way home I called my sister to remind her to clean. It’s a 20 minute drive before we get there.

My sister who was home all day did not clean at ALL. She claims she was sick and doing school work, but then confessed it was just allergies. And she does ONLINE SCHOOL.

I tried to lie about the flowers but she eventually found out I spent the $10 on other stuff instead. She demanded her money back. She started a huge argument and lost. My mom was oblivious to the flower thing as well at first. I wasn’t trying to steal my sisters money or anything, I just didn’t want my mom to know that she didn’t get her anything.

Throughout the night she kept trying to argue about it. My step dad even agreed to give her the money back but she wouldn’t stop. Eventually my mom got really upset and yelled at her, called her some hurtful stuff, and told her to go away. Stuff I would’ve cried over. I wish my mom didn’t yell at her and I feel bad.

My step dad went to her room and ended up yelling at her. I know I shouldn’t have spent her money on something she didn’t want me to spend it on, but I thought she was being selfish to not do shit for my moms birthday. I know I was being selfish to make her choices like that and that might make me an asshole.

I already gave the $10 back but I just wanna know if i was an asshole.

I just wanted to make my moms birthday really good but I ruined it. ):",,1,1,1.0
870,Gentlesoule,AITA for an emotional PSA social media post?,"I had a close friend for over 20 years.  I moved to a different country and we communicated sporadically with occasional phone calls and messaging through social media, but I still considered her one of my ""besties"". 

About 5 years ago when I was at work I was on social media for my job and I received an IM from her telling me ""Tom"" (not his real name, but a very common name) had a massive heart attack and died.  My other closest friend for decades was named Tom. I immediately starting crying/grieving and had to leave work early. When I got home and was totally distraught I was contacting everyone I knew to find out about Tom.  Come to find out my Tom was alive and well, and she was referring to her ex-husband who she divorced years ago and rarely spoke of.

In my relief, and I will admit a bit of anger that I had misunderstood who she was referring to and the trauma I just went through I posted on social media that if you are giving bad news (especially a death) to make sure you use last names to prevent misunderstandings. I never mentioned her in the post.

She responded to my post about how I ""called her out"", unfriended me, and despite my repeated emails to her explaining and apologizing if I offended her she has cut off a 20 year friendship over this, telling me she was grieving and I took the opportunity to make it about myself. In hindsight I know I should have asked her ""which Tom"". I still grieve the end of our friendship. It is has 5 years and I still question AITA?",,1,1,1.0
871,lilcroissanttt,WIBTA for asking my friend to be with me on valentines day?,"         So I (21F) want to spend valentines day with my friend (20F) since it will be 2 years since we met, we have off that day at college so I was hoping to go with them to the state fair to celebrate, the thing is they have a partner (idk their age but F) so I don't know if it's rude to ask if we could hang out. 
          Last year I had a partner and chose to be with my friend on valentines day instead and just went somewhere with my partner on the weekend before. But I know their partner has an issue with them hanging out with people that aren't her for a certain reason. (I dont remember but if I do I'll let y'all know) So I'm wondering if I'd be the asshole for asking and maybe taking their valentines day away with their partner.",,1,1,1.0
872,Street_Guava8840,WIBTA for asking out some girls?,"So I (14M)  have a big crush on  some girls in  school, I really want to talk them and at least try to be friends. One of them always gives me dirty looks (Mind you I haven't spoken2 words to this girl, I also think she's a sophomore) and the other I can't work up the courage to talk to but if I could i feel like I could be TA because I think it could be presumed as creepy. 

So, reddit WIBTA for this",,1,1,1.0
876,Apprehensive_You3249,WIBTA if I don't honor my dad's final wishes,"I (44f) am the executor of my father's estate. I have two siblings (37m and 32f) who are getting a 1/3rd share of the net estate along with me, but they are not executors. The problem is, in addition to money I also have to deal with his funeral arrangements and those are problematic. My dad was a jazz connoisseur bordering on historian, he had a massive record collection, jazz books, collectibles including instruments etc. For most of his adult life but especially in retirement it was his number one passion. His work as investment banker made him comfortable in retirement and especially after my mom's death he really became obsessive, he even wrote a book about lost jazz recordings, and probably spent around half of his retirement funds on collecting, travel, etc. related to this. This brings me to his funeral: he wants a ""jazz funeral"" with a marching band playing jazz standards escorting him from the chapel to the graveside. He has funds specifically earmarked in his trust for this and his will and trust make this direction very clear. I don't feel that I can honor this wish.

​

For all intents and purpose my dad was a white guy. Technically he is partly of Syrian descent and also of Jewish heritage but he was absolutely white passing and clearly benefitted enormously from white privilege. My partner (40M) is a person of color and told me that he would absolutely consider a jazz funeral to be cultural appropriation not only of Black culture but also of New Orleans, a place where we do not live and other than my dad's trips their for his jazz hobby, no connection. I am concerned that honoring this wish will humiliate my family, lead to accusations of racism against me and my late father, and ruin the occasion. I explained this to my brother and sister and even brought my partner into the conversation to give his perspective as a person of color but they are adamant that I should have the jazz funeral. My brother even called around to a few university music departments and to a high school my dad donated instruments to. All of them are happy to do the jazz funeral and the high school even offered to do it for free. My sister sent me the website of New Orleans group that will even fly in for the funeral provided we pay enough money, and apparently does this regularly. My siblings are trying to use this to argue that this is proof it is not cultural appropriation, since Black musicians are willing to perform, but given we live in late-capitalism I'm not sure being willing to do something for money is really proof someone wants to do it or feels it is ethical.

​

At this point my brother has basically told me that there will be a band at the funeral whether I like it or not and he will pay for it personally. I told him that if he does that he will be asked to leave and that I will go no-contact with him from that point on as it would be a betrayal.

​

WIBTA if I let the funeral proceed without a jazz marching band?",,1,1,1.0
881,anonym0usacount,AITA for gifting three kids the same thing and ‘spoiling’ the other?,"I’m 39f. I have 4 daughters, ‘Kelly’ the eldest, and ‘Jane’ ‘Ellie’ and ‘Grace’ are triplets a 2 years younger. Kelly has a birthday early January and the triplets’ are at the end of January. Since they went to college, we started celebrating all of them in one party to reduce travelling. This year it was yesterday. Every year I get each girl an expensive ($350-$450) gift and maybe a few cheaper things to make up if I spent a bit less on the bigger one. Jane, Grace, and Kelly asked for concert tickets. Ellie asked for a microwave for her dorm/possible condo. The concert tickets were about $150 each and the microwave was $300. Since they had asked for relatively cheap gifts this year and they could really use it, I bought the other three girls new bedding for their dorm, as they complained about them being so bland and they hadn’t asked for anything else. (this had put their gift price to $450). Ellie had $150 dollars left, but I got her a piece of jewelry she had been eyeing. It was about $40 short so I got her a few books she’d been wanting as well. 

When the girls opened their gifts, Kelly, Jane, and Grace were excited about their tickets and then they saw Ellie had more things than them. They complained she got more than they did, and I should get them more since it showed favouritism. However, Ellie didn’t ask for a ticket to the concert the others were going to. They said since Ellie got what she wanted, they should get what they wanted. 

They told their grandparents and now they’re angry, they said it should be equal, and should have gotten them the same gift since Ellie got extra. I thought I was right at first but now I’m thinking maybe I should have? Ellie likes the singer they were going to and it was enough for her microwave too, or I could have gotten the others more things to make up for them having less. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
883,ButterscotchAlive992,AITA for not taking my neighbors use my car?,"AITA for not letting my neighbors use my car?
This morning the 14 year old neighbor (S) came over with her aunt (K). S missed the bus and their car is broken down, so they came over and asked to borrow my car to take her to school. I told them no, even though she will get in trouble for not going to school.

So, AITA?

A little backstory for whoever wants to read/cares.
S has been close with my family for months, was friends with my former foster kids. I have a 1, 2, and 3 year old myself. A couple weeks ago, S was over at my house talking about being “happy to get (R word) if it meant her family being safe”. But she brought this up not once, twice, but three times all in front of my littles. I explained to her that I would rather her not talk about that in front of the babies, and I understand that she knows what that means and it’s a good thing to bring attention to and talk about but to not talk about it happening to yourself if it hasn’t happened to you (if that makes sense? I worded it differently in real life lol). She then started twerking in my 3 year old sons face and air humping every time I turned around. Again, I explained to her that it wasn’t appropriate and to please stop.
Well she moved onto opening my kid’s Christmas presents and breaking them. I’m a recently single mom and Christmas was super tight already. But to break the few things that I was able to get for them? Including their favorite RC cars? I told her to go home at this point and had a talk with her mom, aunt, and grandma (they all live together). I told her she wasn’t allowed over unless she had her mom, aunt, or grandma over too. 
I also want to add that inappropriate pictures of her were found by her mom IN MY HOUSE and she was using my internet to watch p🤬rn in the bathroom. She’s also told me about how her mom “demonstrated how to be s*xual” to her, so that worries me too.
I get being curious. I’m not shaming her. But don’t be curious and act on those curiosities around my toddlers? Am I the ahole for not letting them use my car?
I didn’t offer to drive them because all of my kids were asleep still.",,1,1,1.0
884,Similar_Wrongdoer350,WIBTA For Telling My Roommate off because of a bad joke.,"I (19f & poc) live with two white roommates (lets call them Katie and Rachel). 

So something just happened and I don't know how to feel about it. Because I don't know if it was racist or it was just a joke. 

Rachel and their friends are having a sleepover at our house. Rachel and one of their other friends are 21, including Rachel. They also have an underage friend along with them and they go to Walmart to get alcohol.  

Katie comes home and Rachel calls her, telling her that they can't get the alcohol because of everyone needs be to over 21 and their friend isn't. 

So they come home without alcohol and Katie is constantly telling them that she'll go to a different store to get them some. 

Their friend makes a joke saying that they were ""denied "" service because they are gay, then Rachel said soemthign that didn't exactly sit right with me. 

Rachel then says ""I was ""denied"" service because I am a ""white woman"" and I'm in my room like wtf did you just say? 

and honestly it's just the way she said it for me like she actually has experienced racism before, and I have and she hasn't and it's not even funny to joke about like that. 

I don't know if other people will find this racist but I just know that it doesn't sit right with me and I would go out there and argue with her about her choice of words but I don't feel like arguing with her because I had a vision that we got into an altercation and I ended up hurting her because she hit me. 

So WIBTA to confront her about this? Do you think what she said was racist?",,1,1,1.0
887,not_pain_reliever,AITA for having this opinion?,"Hi. I would love more insight on this and for someone to point out what I said wrong so I can learn from my mistakes. 

Im mad they talked about my mother like this when she is not a bad person.

My comment was:

My mom loves harry potter but doesnt follow the drama (not enough time online). When she saw that this game was being released she was like a kid on Christmas. Despite me knowing everything, she is allowed to play the game. She WILL play the game and nothing will label her as a homophobic or racist or whatever person. 

Shame on you HP community. I understand why you guys are mad, but its hurtful reading thinks like the example provided by that account.

You can look at my comment in my profile. 

After that I got banned without reason from the sub so I asked why. 

Me
Can you show me the rule that I broke to deserve a ban? Im pretty puzzled here. I did not mean to break any rules

No response.

Me
Sorry to bother you again, but I wish to speak to a mod that can point out and perhaps discuss with
me the reason why I got banned

Their response:

Mod
Dear Transphobe and/or Harry Potter Fan,
You were banned for violating rule 1 and rule 12.
We suggest that in 2023 you resolve to reflect on your
bigotry and/or taste in YA fiction.
Happy New Year
The GCJ Mod Team
P.S. Your Mum is also a bad person

I did not saw that I was muted so I wrote this without knowing I could not send it

That was rude on your part. All I said was my opinion! I support the LGBT! Do not talk about my mother like that

Maybe you misunderstood my comment. I stated that, yeah, its horrible the racist and homophobic things that the creator of the game or the game itself implies, yet its no reason for comments like the Twitter account posted on the post! For example, I love Zelda and if the new upcoming game is made by someone racist/homophobic I would still play the game. The drama outside the game will not affect my in-game experience. Same with Harry Potter. She loves Harry Potter. She is a fan but isnt caught up in the drama. I mentioned that if fans like my mother play the game with that innocence, they should not be labeled as racist/homophobic. People who do so will look just as bad as people who are racist and homophobic

Sorry if you misunderstood. I am being civil here for you to say those comments. No wonders why mods get a bad rep. You guys dont look at other colors. Its all whatever the big masses say without thinking for themselves and asking,is it moral? I wont miss this sub, and I just wanted to clarify things as I want to hear different perspectives. I would have loved to listen to a civil opinion on the matter because you all have valid arguments. Mine is just a bit different. My opinion did not inflict harm on anyone and I was just disappointed by the HP Fandom

My comment was not a reason for a ban and not a reason to be muted

AITA? Dont talk bad about my mother if you hate me.",,1,1,1.0
888,exhaustedmfka,AITA for being annoyed at my overprotective mom?,"i’m 18F and whenever i go out and stay out late (after 10pm) my mom calls me and texts me demanding i give her updates on where i am/what i’m doing. And it annoys me so much when I’m just trying to enjoy a night out with my friends. But the thing that annoys me most is that she NEVER does the same with my brother who is 2 years older than me but even then she never did it when he was my age. She said I can’t compare myself to him because he’s a man but I still feel like she’s being unfair. The occasional texts are fine but the fact that tonight she texted me to come home at 2am (she never stays up this late) and that she needs to go to bed because she has work in the morning. But why would she stay up waiting for me in the first place and try and make me feel guilty as if i forced her to stay up? she had never EVER done this with my brother before (i check her messages) and i told her i was staying at a friends house who doesn’t live more than 10 minutes walk away. But i’m conflicted because i definitely come off as an asshole. I see that she’s worried about me but at the same time I want to be able to spend time apart (even a few hours) from my mother  without her constantly asking for updates even though i tell her where i am going prior to leaving. 

I haven’t actually reacted negatively directly towards my mom about it but I’m feeling guilty about being so irritated with her behaviour.

Give honest opinions, don’t spare my feelings.",,1,1,1.0
891,potato_salad2341,AITA? Refused order at fast food establishment,"I apologize for the long explanation for something so simple ahead.

So i visited a fast food establishment yesterday that is a drive in situation where you sit in your car and wait for them to bring out the food to you. This place allows for mobile orders through their app. You select which stall you're in, the app connects to the screen in the stall, and the order is confirmed on the restaurant's screen. Then a tracker will start and let you know when someone is coming out with your order.

In the past I've placed orders online with no issues and yesterday the process started moving along just fine. 10 minutes later it informed me someone was coming out with my $5 hamburger and i figured ok cool any minute now. The tracker clears out and the stall is ready to accept a new order. 10 more minutes pass and nothing.

I press the button at the stall that would normally order the food directly with the restaurant so that i could speak to someone and check on my order. A worker answers and is not aware of any order placed, asks for my order again and says ok and hangs up the call.

Another 10 minutes pass, we are now at 30 minutes total waiting for 1 small hamburger, i press the button again to speak with someone and check again on my order. The same worker answers and again acts like they are not aware of any order, proceeds to start to take my order again and at that point I'm not even hungry anymore. I just want a refund. So i ask the guy if i can just get my money back. They hang up the call without saying anything and i am left with silence.

At this point i don't want the food, i want a refund, not because of the money because $5 is not that much in the grand scheme of things, but it's the principle. So i pull out and go up to the regular drive thru window and explain the situation again to another worker. They seem lost, get handed a hamburger from somewhere else inside and proceeds to offer it to me. I say no i don't want it I just want the refund.

They bring someone else in because since it's a mobile order they don't know how to refund it. This guy says I'm going to have to ask my manager. The manager comes in and says we can't refund it, you have to call the company directly or i can up size your meal and make it for you fresh. I say no nevermind I'll just do a charge back through my credit card company. As i proceed to leave the manager just reaches into their register and hands me a $5.

I could have taken the hamburger they prepared as i was sitting through the regular drive through line. And I can see how they might have issues refunding because of a mobile order. But at that point i was standing my ground and refused  the food because of the principle of not being able to receive a simple hamburger after 30 minutes, repeating my order 3 times, and being ignored.

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
892,secretcatadmirer,AITA for calling my brothers bs and getting mad at my family,"
Some background (I am m19 in a family of 4 children me being the youngest, my two brothers have this idea that I am totally spoiled and they hate me and never reason with me no matter how much I try to work things with them, in all fairness I get no special treatment then them its not like i am the golden child or anything I am treated the same sometimes worse since I am the youngest, my parents work all day from morning till night it's usually us alone in the house there is no one to cook most of the time i either cook for myself or order food, but most of the time I make food for myself i get yelled at for either making a mess or making to much food because I tend to save it fo later so I order food with the money I get from my parents as an allowance, my brothers keep saying I am spoiled rotten for doing so but they do the same they do not even bother cooking for them selves, each time I ask them why do you think i am spoiled they say because i order food but they do so as well and when i point that out they say it's none of my business, my brothers hate me and that's a fact no matter how I try to work things out it never works to them i am this spoiled little brat.

And in all fairness, I help out in the house way more than them I often make food for my parents when they get back tired at night and want to eat and they tell me no one asked you to do that are you back doing your stupid stuff or clean the house, do laundry for my parents, and generally help them out every time they call, when they don't do much at all they spend the whole day on the pc playing in their room locked up and every time I enter my brother room to talk to him or check up he immediately tells me to get out he doesn't want me next to him he gets annoyed.
Now that's fine by me but he's a double standards hypocrite, he refuses to share at all example when he buys something he only thinks of himself when he buys food and doesn't share, now that's fine but he always takes from me and takes my stuff without asking takes the food I made or ordered for myself with no regard and takes the snacks I buy for myself, and when I tell him why are you taking stuff from me when you refuse to share he says up to him and when I fight with him he gets mad throws the stuff at me and says I am spoiled and don't deserve to be respected and threatened to cut the network off of me, and when I tell him he has no right he says all arrogantly yes he can and shuts the door in my face,
His room is a mess he doesn't clean up after himself to the fact my dad does it and asks me to help him and gets mad when we do it,
He bitches about how depressed he is but we just don't get it and shuts himself off, I tried to talk to him and he fucking hurts me physically he is delusional and thinks I have it so much better than him and I am so cocky.
My parents got used to calling me and their excuse is I am the only reliable one and they only ask my brother to do something if I can't do it and it's rare to happen",,1,1,1.0
893,Accomplished-Ad5831,AITA for not helping my family now that I’m more financially stable?,"I’m not the greatest at English so please forgive me! Long time lurker first time posting.

For context- i grew up with my cousin’s family on my dads side since i was 10 due to my mom being sent to mental institution. My dad couldn’t have custody since he wasn’t financially stable enough i assume. Entire time living with them just felt neglected and was given the bare minimum. My dad would visit to check up but nothin else. We were poor which would explain but cousin’s were definitely treated better. Moved out as soon as i turned 18. After that i’d talk to them maybe twice a year by phone calls. My dad now lives with them since the pandemic.

Now I’m 25 and in the recent year my relationship with them started to grow as they’ve seen my growth and doing well for myself with a 70k a yr job(with overtime) and have a decent place to myself. I went to visit for the first time in a long time and caught up with everything in their lives and damn.. i can tell they’re struggling and headed for doom as my aunt has a big gambling problem and will go every weekend to go. My dad is involved with drugs and hangs with the wrong people and wont change his habits. They definitely don’t have plans to retire since they don’t contribute to 401ks or planning on buying a house as they’re still renting apartments.

Here’s where I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong, I definitely have the time and money to help them out but i don’t want to as I’m trying to save my money to start investing and hopefully have financial freedom and though they don’t ask for it(sometimes, like they ask for help pay to fix their car or something) i still have some resentment towards them of how they treated me. My cousins are in no position to help cuz they’re also struggling. I just feel like the AH for not helping as much as i could have.

AITA",,1,1,1.0
894,Anxious_Slug333,WIBTA for not inviting a casual coworker to my birthday gathering?,"AITA for not inviting a casual coworker to my birthday gathering?

My birthday is coming up soon. I work on a close knit team. I wouldn’t even say team, but to conceal identities (even though this isn’t a big deal, my anxiety is saying otherwise), we work at a STEM tutoring center together. 

There’s six of us. We’ve been working together for two years and we’re pretty close. We recently hired some new people back in summer, cue Jenny’s entrance. Jenny became closer with one of my friends (we’ll call her G) and she started showing up at some of the casual gatherings, like a pumpkin patch or some other lowkey things. Besides work and at those gatherings, Jenny and I don’t talk. It’s always been surface level niceties. 

Recently two people in my friend group had their birthdays (G and D). D invited her out of obligation I think, and G invited her because they’re closer. I didn’t get to go to the latter party because Jenny wasn’t comfortable, as my dad got sick a week before the party. No hard feelings, I totally understand, however she was pretty vague in her text about it. Now MY birthday is coming up. 

I’ve been going through a rough personal time and really all I’ve been craving is comfort. I didn’t even want to have a party but one of my friends convinced me. Now we’re having a small gathering where everyone comes in pajamas and brings their favorite food with them. Today Jenny overheard someone say my party was soon. All I could do was cringe. 

I feel obligated to invite her. I know how hard it is to break into these pre established friend groups. I know how it feels to be left out. Honestly I want her to go out of pity. But I’m not close with her!! We literally don’t talk outside work. She’s the nicest person (although she did ask to bring her boyfriend whom no one knows to D’s birthday).

I don’t know what to do. It’s my birthday and I don’t want to feel obligated to invite someone I’m not close with, but I feel bad. It’s not like she’d crash the party, I’m just not friends with her. I don’t know. Soon I feel like I’m gonna get a text from G asking why I’m not inviting Jenny. I feel like Jenny is gonna ask her. This is such elementary drama but I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel awful. Would I be the asshole if I didn’t invite her?",,1,1,1.0
895,Professional-Slip-46,AITA for outgrowing a relationship,"Ive been knowing this girl since 8th grade, we were friends for 2 years before we started dating sophomore year of highschool. She was my first girlfriend and first for everything but I am her 6th boyfriend, to sum it up short we dated around 7 months and then split mutually due to both living a hour away and both going through lots of very personal family issues. I told her that it wasn’t going to be a a actual break up and more of a break to get both of our life’s organized instead of 2 very broken people trying to fix each other back up. This was 2 years ago and we still remain friends but my feelings have changed as I started to heal mentally and physically realizing that i’m better off just focusing on college and trying to move out of my small town, I feel terrible. She grew to love me even more the 2 years of not being together but the reason why I outgrew her is all because of her still being in highschool, She’s 17 and I’m 18 with about a 8 months difference in our bdays. She’s still a junior in highschool due to her starting school late and failing a grade. I graduated school at 17, 1 year ago from having a early birthday and started college at 18. Even though the difference in our age is less than a year, our difference in our point of our life’s is major, she doesn’t have a job nor can drive and still only thinks about going out with friends or just having something to do 24/7, I work full time and go to college full time while also having my own bills and I am saving up to move in with my sister in a couple months both for better opportunities career wise and school wise. I have finally told her how I truly felt about her and us but she guilts me for “wasting her time” even though when we agreed to mutually split I told her she would never have to wait for me to be ready and that if she ends up finding someone else that I would be perfectly fine with that, she waited out of her own will. She blames me for letting myself lose feelings. She still wants me to hold on to whatever feelings I have left but the more I do the worst it will hurt her because in the end I truly don’t see myself getting back with her or with anyone else, at least not in this point in my life.",,1,1,1.0
896,Momlife_blush,AITA for not going the extra mile?,"My boyfriend called me to take meat out of the fridge because he wanted to make a recipe he found. I’m in the middle of work so I told him I was wrapping some thing up and then I would. I went to the freezer in the garage, pulled the meat out and put it on the kitchen counter. I go back to work (remotely). He walks through the door 5 minutes later, shows me a recipe that we would need to go buy ingredients for. He proceeds to go sit on the couch. I finish work and go to the kitchen to see what ingredients we have that we can substitute for the recipe he wanted. I tell him that the ground beef is still hard as a brick and won’t be ready for anything tonight. He says that’s because you didn’t put it in water. He literally walked in 5 minutes after he told me to pull it out and apparently expected me to start prepping for a recipe he wasn’t even prepared to make. Now he’s mad and wants yo break up over this. AITA here?",,1,1,1.0
897,anon_burner272,AITA for making the team run if players were dressed inappropriately?,"I am an assistant coach for a high school Baseball team. The head coach is big on the team looking like a team and professional and at the first team meeting outlined all that. Every player is to wear full (practice) uniform at practice and is suppose to match. At the first practice, the team was sloppy. Some Hats/socks/belts were mismatched, practice jerseys forgotten, shirts untucked, batting gloves forgotten. The coach said if it happens again the whole team is running.

The next practice I was in charge and the players were generally better, but one player was wearing a mismatched hat so I made the team run a lap. At a couple points players shirts were untucked, so I had the team run laps.

Later, my son (a player) said it was dumb the whole team had to run because a player or two didn’t tuck in their shirts. I said that a team has to look like a team together, and hold each other accountable (and at the end of the practice to be fair, all players were wearing their uniforms properly). Plus as high schoolers, they should know uniform is tucked in at all times. 

AITA for making the team run for players out of uniform?",,1,1,1.0
899,user173828,AITA for leaving my boyfriend after he cooked me food i’m allergic to,"my boyfriend (23M) and I (21F)  have been together for 2 years now and have not had many problems within our relationship. We know each other very well. however, we have some little arguments as every couple does but this one really tipped me over the edge.
I cook dinner for us most nights as his shifts don’t allow him to and i work during the day, i also have a few allergies like nuts and prawns so i of course don’t include those in our meals. On this day i was asked to cover for one of my colleagues until later in the evening so my boyfriend would get home before me. He wanted to prepare me a meal for when i got home. He knows that i have allergies that can be dangerous for me if i’m not careful, so i agreed thinking of how kind he was.
when i got home he gave me with a meal of Pad thai which if you didn’t know is a stir fried rice noodle dish with king prawns. Seeing this i asked him why he cooked me prawns as i’m allergic to them. He said that he wanted a thai dish that day and forgot i was allergic to them. I mean, how can you forgot that your girlfriend of 2 years is allergic to prawns. That’s not something you can’t remember. So i got frustrated with him as i would but he didn’t seem to care, this made me even more mad and i raised my voice. Then he sits down and starts eating the meal without a care. By this time i was so hungry considering i hadn’t eaten since lunchtime making me more annoyed with him, we didn’t have much food in the house. I resolved to eating some fruit from a salad i made for breakfast.
Afterwards he told me he “felt bad” for cooking me prawns and laid a slice of chocolate cake with a cute smile on his face. I don’t know why but i forgave him as its the thought that counts and started digging in on one of my favourite deserts. Soon after i ate it i started to feeling a rash and my throat felt like it was starting to close up. my eyes began to water. I asked him what he put in the cake to which he gave a list of ingredients including nuts. I started to panic and scream at him for making me food i can’t eat, he started yelling back saying it’s not his fault i’ve got a weak immune system. Whilst arguing i got him to drive me to the hospital as i didn’t have my pen on me.
We got to the hospital rushing inside as it was hard to breath and i got treated for my allergic reactions. Still in the hospital later we argued again so i said he should leave and i’ll come tomorrow to pick up my things as i didn’t want to be in the same house as him anymore. surprisingly he called me a crazy bitch and left.
I've been staying at my mums house without hearing from him since it happened. I thought i loved him.",,1,1,1.0
901,moody2610,AITA for not telling my boyfriend I took an Uber,"My boyfriend promised to spend the nights with me at a hotel I was staying at for an overnight seminar. I asked him to stay the nights with me because I get really uneasy spending the nights at hotels alone. The first night, my boyfriend left at 3 am and went home because he had a virtual job interview the next day. I felt uncomfortable after he left but pushed through it because I knew he would be back. He returned the next day at around 7 pm but then left again at 3 am because he wanted to avoid getting stuck in the storm. After he left I felt extremely sad and anxious, I couldn’t sleep and the thought of being there alone for a few more hours was killing me. I texted him and told him that I was getting an Uber, he told me not to and made me promise I wouldn’t because he didn’t feel comfortable with me getting one that late at night. He promised he would stay on the phone with me and then had to hang up a few minutes later to finish paperwork that he was doing for his new job. When I promised him I wouldn’t take an Uber I really wasn’t planning on taking one. But after he hung up the anxiety came back and I couldn’t stay there. I called an Uber and about 20 minutes later my bf started calling me. I didn’t pick up because I knew he would be upset about the Uber. I called him back and when he heard that I was in a car he knew I was in an Uber. He said that I lied to him and broke his trust because I promised him I wouldn’t take an Uber. He said it was suspicious that I wasn’t answering his phone calls and I understand that. I didn’t intend to hurt his feelings I didn’t know that it would cause such a huge dent. He hasn’t talked to me normally since and it’s killing me knowing that he thinks I’m a liar.",,1,1,1.0
902,edgehog74,AITA for not wanting to help my coworker when he's on O.T. hours and I'm not?,"So I'm an airline mechanic and we need our ground/ work vehicles to get around the airport and do our job. We work 12 shifts and have a lot of down time. Our vehicle are crap and keep breaking down. We had a mechanic that was the GSE mechanic when he wasnt needed on the airplanes but he quit for a better job. So one of the guys (a shift supervisor and lazy ass MFer) asked the boss to be the new GSE mechanic and he would come in on his off days and work on the vehicle for some much needed OT (he's shit with money). Since he's been the GSE guy I've had to come behind him and fix his work a few times, a little has been for OT but mostly durning my shift. I'm not a great car mechanic but I'm competent and we need working vehicles so I step up and help out. But Every time this new GSE guy comes in he's asking for people who are on duty to help him. So basically he is coming in and getting paid time and a half while the rest of us who are on regular time are either helping him or just plain doing his work for him. So am I the asshole for telling him to fuck off when I know I can fix a problem he can't figure out? If he was doing it on his regular shift I'd help no problem but when he's on OT if feel like he's taking advantage.",,1,1,1.0
903,Lonely_Bass_9968,AITA for lying about breakup,"I (23M) started dating my life long crush Sara back when I was 15. We dated for all of high school. After school, we ended up going to different cities for college but chose to continue our relationship.After 1.5 years of long distance, Sara broke up with me over the phone. She started dating someone else right away (maybe before)

I could not get over her at all while in college. Post college I started working. My college best friend Aish moved in next door. She knew about Sara and how i could not get over her.

Aish and I got drunk and fooled around a few times. I asked Aish if they wanted to date me and she said she knows I will always be into Sara and she doesn't want to be someone's second choice. But We spent a lot of time together. The feelings were too strong so we started dating.

When the pandemic happened, we returned to our hometown. When the restrictions were lifted, Aish and I travelled met each other whenever we could. I also went out with friends in my hometown. Sara and I have a lot of mutual friends so she was always there. Eventually we got to talking. I told her about Aish and she told me she was single.

One day Sara showed up at my house. She started crying and apologized about the way she broke up with me and told me she still loved me & wants to give it another try. I called Aish and told her everything. She said we should break up. I asked her why? She told me if there is even a 1% chance I can get the ""woman I have wanted for most of my life"" she won't come in the way that. I could not disagree. Who knew me better than Aish? I thought if she thinks i need to go for it, maybe I should.

Post that, Sara and I went out for dinner a few times. She asked me what happened with Aish. I said, I broke up with Aish. Within a few more weeks, Sara and I were in a relationship. Months later, when everyone returned to office, I chose to stay in my hometown with Sara who was opening a design studio there itself. I left my job and joined my brother in his business.

Fast forward to last week, Aish came to my hometown for some work and wanted to meet me. Aish, Sara & I met in a bar. When we were all a little drunk, Sara apologized to Aish for making me break up with her. She said she always felt guilty and wanted to know if Aish would forgive her. Aish looked visibly hurt but she just accepted it.

After dinner, I dropped Sara home and headed to Aish's hotel to see if she was doing okay. When I got there she was furious. She asked me who else have I lied to. I told her honestly that everyone knows the same story so that Sara doesn't find out. She got even more angry. When I told her she is reacting like this because she is not over me, she said she is not a loser like me who will be into her ex for the rest of her life. The fight escalated to her saying I ruined my future to stay back with Sara so she doesn't cheat on me.

I felt guilty after I left but I dont want to apologize if its not my mistake. AITA?",,1,1,1.0
905,ClassicsDoc,AITA for not playing hide and seek? Or AITA for going to a central location?,"This happened over five years ago, on our honeymoon. You’re going to get both sides. And while this may seem frivolous, it is deadly serious. Your judgement may be cited in our divorce proceedings/murder trials.

M25:
So, we’d had an argument. Can’t remember what it was, but it was one of those niggly ones over nothing in particular. My wife and I agree to go to the beach, and she leaves first while I’m still getting ready. I leave the room, and hurry to catch up. I was about halfway to the beach when I thought something was off, I should have caught up with her, but there were a couple of different routes she could have taken, I figured she wanted some alone time after the argument. So I went to the middle entry of the beach. By the juice bar, bar bar, ice cream, pool, and where we’d booked in for lunch a few hours later. I could even see my wife’s favourite rock pools. And I waited at the place we’d said we were going. I figured she’d come here eventually. And she did. Angry that I hadn’t played hide and seek, which I didn’t even know we were playing! I think I was in the right: a seeker knowing they’re seeking is pretty fundamental to the concept.

F25:
We were going to the beach of our resort, and my new husband had to get the beach bag (sun cream, books, sunglasses, change of clothes) from the room. I said I’d head out just as he was finishing up in the room. And I took up a solid hiding spot, waiting for him to find me. I turned left out the room, just around the corner. Minutes later, he left the room, turned right, and disappeared. I think. I never saw him look for me. Upon realising he wasn’t coming, I went to the cafe, in the middle of the resort, where we often got coffee, and where I could see a lot of what was going on. The staff started to look for him, they learnt our names, I would have shown them pictures of our cats if my phone hadn’t been in his bag. I was there a while. He never showed up, and over an hour later I walked to the beach, where I found him reading a book and drinking a beer. I don’t think I was in the wrong for going to a central location. Or for playing hide and seek. He should have looked for me when he left the room.


So, Reddit, this is to decide who cleans the cat litter when we wake up: who is the asshole? From the perspective of M25, if you’re going for NTA or YTA, just to make life easier!",,1,1,1.0
906,InfamousMacaron4082,AITA for wearing a bracelet with a slur on,"I (14 non-binary) was given a bracelet by my friend J (15f) with a slur on it's a slur used to insult gay people 
But it's also one gay people use as a joke between friends 
This bracelet is made from a children's make your own bracelet set and I absolutely adore it and the meaning behind it 
Me and J moved to a new school at the same time we instantly hit it off having chose quite a few of the same options we joke flirted alot. J is a gynesexual and I am Pansexual 
On our 2nd or 3rd day at school we were walking through the grounds and someone yelled this slur at us 
I honestly felt so horrible and I could tell I looked like I was about to cry
J noticed this aswell held my shoulders looked me directly in the eyes and said 
""Omg your a *slur*?!"" 
In this stupid voice they do 
I instantly cracked up and since then whenever we have been called it WHICH IS OFTEN
we make the joke just to keep our moral up 
We came back from Christmas break Monday and J gave me alittle handmade kiddie bracelet with the slur on 
It made me laugh and has become my new favourite peice of jewelry 
I understand it can offend some people so I only wear it with long sleeves and it's never on show 
My Mum(31f) is omnisexual and  Hates it everytime she sees me wear it she gets mad at me and says it's a stupid word and goes on a rant on how's it's offensive
I have told her the story and she's said it's sweet but theirs no point in the stupid bracelet
I promised her I would keep it covered and that i would only wear it with long sleeves when outside (which I have)
But every time she's sees it she gets madder and madder saying I'm being insensitive and I should think more about how she feels 
AITA?",,1,1,1.0
907,Captainam3ricka,AITA for telling my roommate she can't be selfish if she has dependents?,"My roommate ""Brittany"" (27f) has been struggling with her mental health since I've known her 2+yrs. I've lived with her and her bf ""William"" (29f) for almost a year. Brittany is a loner. She only leaves home to go to work or the grocery store. She doesn't really have any friends and never comes out of her room. She turns down any activity with me or William, most of the time at the last minute. William and I once wanted to try a new burger place and rearranged our entire day to make sure we included her. She waited until after she came home from work to say she wasn't feeling good and didn't want to go. 

Anyways,  Brittany has decided that in order to improve her mental health she needs to completely isolate herself from everything and everyone for 3 days. She isn't going to leave her/bf's room. She's asked off work, he apparently is only going to be in their room to sleep. She's asked me and William not to have any guests over during these days and listen to the TV/ play video games with headphones so the noise doesn't bother her. She's also decided that her and William's two new cats (3 months old) won't be allowed in their room either. She said she'll move their food/water and litter box into the living room for the 3 days. William will be caring for them the whole time. 

I said she can't close them out of their room if she's the only one home. They're her kids, well fur babies. I told her she can't be selfish when it comes to her dependents. I pointed out that if one of them gets sick or hurt she won't know. 

She got angry with me. She said they're alone while all three of us are at work. I said it's not the same. She's responsible for them. She can't just shut them out when it's inconvenient. She called me an ahole and said I'm being an ableist. She's also not talking to me now.",,1,1,1.0
908,machiavelity,WIBTA for telling my friends gf what he really thinks of her to break them up?,"I (24,M) have been dating my gf for nearly 4 years now and I have grown fairly close with her friends. Especially one girl, I’ll call her Anna, who is my gf’s best friend since childhood. Anna and I are very similar people and we get along great. The kind of person I’d feel terrible about losing if I ever broke up with my gf and occasionally even hang out with her one on one without my gf being there. Just a few months ago, Anna met a friend of mine at a party and they started going out. 

I’ll admit that if I was setting Anna up with one of my friends, it would not have been this guy. He’s cool and funny but when he’s going out with a beautiful girl, it goes to his head and he turns into an asshole. A couple of weeks ago, we were staying at a cabin all 4 of us. Anna was asleep on the sofa next to him, my gf was showering and he and I were just chatting. He started saying some pretty degrading and invasive stuff about Anna, essentially bragging about their sex life, reducing all the good parts about Anna’s personality to talk about her body. I tried to steer him right and probe him into saying something nice about who she is. I mentioned how she’s super funny he said “TBH, she could be the most boring girl on earth, she’s still a great lay.” 

This grossed me out a lot but I already warned Anna he can be superficial so I decided to leave it. Things got a bit more complicated when my other (much closer) told me that he has feelings for Anna. She’s a beautiful, extroverted girl and since most of our friend group is made up of couples, a few of my friends and Anna is the only single girl stuff like this has happened before. It’s like there’s a lot of pressure to pair up and Anna is the only single girl so my friends end up in close proximity and eventually catch feelings. If I tell Anna that her bf said these things, it will give my friend an opportunity to get with her. He’s a much nicer guy and we’d all be happier to see Anna with him. WIBTA if I told her with the sole intention of breaking them up?",,1,1,1.0
910,Striking_Caramel_928,WIBTA if I told my twenty-one year old brother his dreams are delusions?,"My older brother, 21, is currently redoing his junior year at college after going on academic probation (a result of both his GPA dropping too low and his getting arrested). He is home for a bit, and even though we are not super close, we have had a lot of time to talk.

I am concerned because my brother always talks about how he wants to be a scientist of some sort, and while I find that admirable, I don't always think he is realistic. He tells us, he is SURE he will work in a lab with his name on it one day. He is unconcerned with the fact that his GPA is below a 2.0 and thinks that just because the school he goes to is ""prestigious"" a program will want him. He also told me, which I think is weirdest of all, that he only vapes because he believes one day he will be able to come up with a solution to the damage it does, and otherwise he would not. 

He also went to the doctor and argued with my parents when the results came back negative. He said he should get to see the results himself and evaluate it (because he ""literally knows more than you think""). He is a 3rd year biomedical engineering major, but I don't think that is anywhere near the level of education needed for him to be so brazen. Not to mention when he said he thinks he will be able to find the reverse to aging.

I am tempted to talk to him (not in the way I worded in the title exactly, that's harsh) about his mindset. I am 17, so I am no fountain of wisdom, and I think confidence and ""manifesting"" positive things is good, but I worry he is setting himself up for disapopintment. Soon he will actually get results back and (according to the opinion of my parents) won't be accepted to many programs because of his poor grades, so he will face whatever reality presents itself.

I get that maybe it is not my place, but it has almost gotten to a level where I look at him and wonder if some of the things he's saying are jokes.",,1,1,1.0
917,BenScotland88,AITA? Unbalanced Marriage?,"I (35) met my wife (38) 15 years ago, I was a people pleaser and put every effort into pleasing her. I would cook, clean, work, drive her around (she lost her license), pay for her things, generally being a caretaker.. I thought she would chip in and begin to take over that I was just showing her love at the time and my efforts wouldn't be a forever thing I had the time back then to do it and thought she would take over when we 'made it'.

​

We got married now we have two kids under 10. I work full-time, running a business, I studied and worked really hard to earn enough money so she could stay home to focus on raising the kids and managing our home well this was our plan. I manage a small team, do the bookkeeping, reception and all. My wife works an hour max in 'our' business. I do our budget, finances, bills, food shopping, cooking, appointments (dental, cars, tax), Christmas cards and presents.

​

My wife is a stay-at-home mum, she exercises daily for about an hour, she spends upwards for 4-8 hours per day on social media scrolling or talking to her girlfriends, sitting on the couch or laying on our bed. To her credit she cleans the bare minimum, does the laundry and dishes. The house isn't near my standard though if I had the time to clean it properly. I get so tired of the house being mess I take time off work to clean and organise it, only for it to return to how it was a month later.

​

She goes on dates with her girlfriends more than she does with me or our kids. Lunches, day spas, birthdays and sorts, often I have to take care of our kids while she goes for a few hours or if her girlfriends book apartment for the night. She spends the bulk of our money 70-80% of our discretionary spending comes from her. She spends a lot of money on clothes, gifts for friends, fillers and botox to the point where she draws money out of our savings. She rarely cooks saying she hates it so when I'm too tired we resort to takeaway. She goes to the shops every 2-3 days.

​

She doesn't do anything productive with our kids. Doesn't teach them life skills, read them books or plays with them. To me she acts like she doesn't even want them.. I know deep down she loves them, but it doesn't show in her actions. She doesn't seem to want to improve herself at all, she just screams at the kids when they don't listen to her but it's like why would they, you don't do anything with them. She doesn't wash their hair, cut their nails or brush their hair which really upsets me.

​

It's like she knows if she doesn't do something I'll do it for her for the sake of keeping our household running smoothly. I feel like I do the work of two people.

​

She knows how I feel about it all, I have probably contributed to the problem venting my frustrations with her.

​

I don't know if she's depressed she may very well be but I don't know how to help her any more than I am, doesn't love us, or wishes she had another life. AITA or is she? I feel like this is ruining our life.",,1,1,1.0
921,maroonmacaroni,"AITA for typing up an email to send to my boss, his boss, and our HR rep regarding my rushed/forced resignation?","I made a post about this earlier, but failed to clarify several things and I'd like to rectify that here and maybe add some more context. I'm still pretty upset about all this so I apologize for any confusion.

I've been working as a lab tech for a year and we have been understaffed the entire time, including during my training. I was trained in by the girl I ended up replacing.
Greg is an older guy who has been with the company for decades now, and he makes sure you know it.  Since starting, he has always found small issues in my work and made them into much larger issues.  I've brought this up with my coworkers, and they said while it's tough to deal with, that's just how Greg is.
It may also be noteworthy I was a fresh graduate when he hired me, and I tend to look very goth/alt as I have dyed hair, piercings, and tattoos (none of which are against the dress code). Greg has commented several times about dumb college students, though never directed towards me.

On December 13th, I made Greg aware that I had received a job offer at another lab and that I was planning on accepting. I stated several times I had no exact start date yet and that I was being told that it would be at least 5-6 weeks to complete the background screening (government job and it was the end of December). I told him if he needed a written resignation with an exact date, I'd be willing to do so as long as I could make it for longer than 2 weeks to ensure no gaps in my employment.

On Tuesday, January 3rd, I was brought into a meeting in which Greg had said he was unable to put up a posting for my position without an official written notice of resignation. I again told him I did not have an exact start date, but I would be willing to submit a notice longer than 2 weeks if necessary. He did not ask me to do that, he instead said he would reach out to HR.

Today, January 5th, I was told that HR had decided that I had made a verbal notice of resignation on December 13th and that my final day at the company was to be January 24th. 
I spoke with Craig early on in the process of changing jobs as a courtesy to not only him, but also my coworkers. I wanted to ensure there was plenty of time to hire and train my replacement so the transition would be as smooth as possible.

I spoke with a few of my coworkers who had brought up that something similar had happened to a girl a few years ago when she tried to give a notice about a month out because she was moving.  Yes, I understand it may be obnoxious to deal with someone who is leaving bit won't be specific, which is why I offered SEVERAL times to submit a notice, but it needed to be longer than 2 weeks. 

WIBTA if I sent my boss, his boss, and the HR rep an email detailing these events?",,1,1,1.0
923,Historical-Ad-1573,AITA for not responding to messages because I forgot to recharge my phone credit?,"My partner (45m) drives me (33f) to work when he has days off from his job. Yesterday he dropped me off, we kissed goodbye and he said he was happy to pick me up when I was done. My job doesn't fit a set timeframe, I finish whenever I'm done the work. So I start my day, I check my phone and I realise nothing is loading because I forgot to upload the credit I bought the day before. The voucher is in my wallet, which is still at home because I didn't think I needed it if I wasn't driving. I tried every way to contact my partner but there was no way, so I continued my day and it turned into a fairly long one. Towards the end I'm getting text messages from my partner saying he hasn't heard from me and he's getting worried. 

I hurried to finish and started the 40 minute walk home. Half way along the walk there's a freecall phone box. I rang him from there and told him I was nearly home, sorry for being out of touch, I forgot to put credit on my phone.

When I got home he was not there. Now I had wifi I could see he'd been messaging and tried to call me through Messenger. With no data I couldn't receive any of that. But I could have received a phonecall, the one thing he hadn't tried. 

I messaged him to find out where he was, and his messages were very curt. I could tell he was mad at me because he's been annoyed in the past when I've ignored his messages because I've been too busy to read them.

When he got home over an hour later he was furious about something unrelated to me. He didn't stop to say hi or anything, he just ranted about the thing he was mad about. Later that night he asked me why I didn't upload the credit when he handed it to me the night before. I told him I wanted to wait till the previous credit fully expired and I'd just forgotten to do it before work. It was a simple mistake and I didn't do it on purpose. He told me I get mad at our kids when they don't answer their phones so he's right to be mad at me. He ignored me for the rest of the night. At bedtime I asked if he was going to continue this on for days like he has in the past and I told him he was being irrational and mean. He said he'll be angry for as long as he wants. This morning he's still ignoring me and acting like I've really hurt him. He thinks I'm TA, so am I?",,1,1,1.0
929,Mysterious-Key4990,AITA: Conflict with best friend,"Hello, here is the story. I have a friend(F30) who is refusing to drive to meet up/hang out. She is an adult with 2 vehicle that is shared with her family. Every time we plan something to do over the weekend or any special occasion she refuses to drive to my city because she refuses to cross the bridge or hates driving in general. She hates driving but not for when she needs to go shop, work, or the gym. I have tried to tell her that I also share my vehicle with my husband and not always able to hang out together. This holiday season has crashed on our friendship into thin ice. 

Scenario 1: Gathering with friends on weekend before xmas. I drove my car (40min) to meet my friend on the condition that I am only available to meet up for a few hours. I was the driver of this meeting, after brunch and some light walking I was getting ready to end the girls date. The friend, the one from this story, starts to nag/whine that we dont meet as often as we used to and not as long as before. She encourages me to not go pick up my husband and just hang out with her for a couple more hours. I firmly let her know it is not possible because I have informed her beforehand of the time I have available. 

Scenario 2: Gathering with her the day after Xmas. I did not have the car this week and took public transportation (1hr) to meet up with her. She was the driver for this time and we just exchanged gifts and parted ways. No complain. 

Scenario 3: Day after new years, I drove my car again(1hr) to meet up with friend to have brunch and a gym date. This time I am firm with her and tell her that I really need to cut out our frequent meetups and that it is getting too expensive for me to afford (Tolls, gas, brunch, time, spending money) and that for once she should drive up to my city to meet up. The city is the same and actually has more things to do. I also tell her that I am tired of being the driver( for everything, the dates, the hangout, the roadtrips, or on vacation) and that she needs to step out of her comfort zone. If she is lonely she really should find a significant other or try dating. Her response is: ""You know driving gives me anxiety and you know how I hate driving. You live so far now, its difficult"". I responded her with: ""Don't you think I feel the same way you do, but I still do it because I value our friendship"". My friend then stormed off and said ""we""ll see"". We didn't get to discuss, but she started texting me like normal as if nothing happened. 

She thinks I will give in to her demands like always, but I am at my limits. I tell her that I am not her significant other and that she should really start dating in order to have her needs met. I am her friend not her chauffer. AITA",,1,1,1.0
930,aliyabean,AITA if i tell my roommate no,"this past lease signing my bf and i found a roommate and told her our lifestyle. specifically stated we feel weekdays are quiet hours and weekends we usually have people over. 
the past few weekends my best friend, her bf and dog have been sleeping over. when they come over we chill quietly. whether it be in our office room, bed room, or living room. her dog doesn’t do anything but sleep and wag her tail. 
we usually go to bed by midnight in the bed rooms. 

two weeks ago my roommate asked to give her a heads up before they come over + told me she would love to get to know them more but she just goes to her room or parents because she’s ‘uncomfortable’ 
this last time she has asked me to not have them over every weekend/maybe every other instead because she wakes up in 6 am on saturdays for work (not at home) and she struggles to go to sleep when they’re over. 
she also know my friends live at their parents so going there isn’t as comfortable 

we all pay equal rent and she also works from home all week as i work two jobs out all week. AITA if i tell her i do not think it’s fair of her to limit the one time a week i have people over?",,1,1,1.0
931,Far-Sheepherder3150,AITA for telling my bf he can’t come to church?,"My boyfriend (18M) and I (15F) go to the same church. We met through the youth program there. Yes, I know it’s a little weird seeing as our age difference is over 3 years for us to be dating. But we like each other, and to us, it doesn’t matter. Everything was really great while we were both in high school, him a senior and me a freshmen, where we were on the same sports team, had similar classes, and in the same groups at church. Then summer rolled around and he graduated. With his graduation in school, he graduated from the youth program. He was an adult now. He was told my the staff that he shouldn’t come to the youth group events because it would be inappropriate for an adult man to be around the younger children whilst not working for the church, and not being in school anymore. But my boyfriend took this as the church not caring for him, and abandoning him. The other night on sunday before it was time for our youth group, he said he wanted to come stop by before it started to say hi to people and help out a little bit. He had done this before and when it was time to leave, he had a very hard time going, and it made the church staff uncomfortable having to tell him to leave. So this time, I highly urged him to not go. Thinking ahead, I knew he’d have a hard time leaving when it was just getting started, he would get sad and mad and become dangerous to himself and others. So in an attempt to spare him from his, I strongly urged him not to come. Later that night, he texted me, highly upset, saying I didn’t want him there and abusing me of not caring about him/not thinking he was mature enough to handle himself. So am I the asshole for urging him not to come? Or should I have just minded my own business and let things play out?",,1,1,1.0
932,bi5a,AITA for saying bad things about my friend's wedding?,"Last July, me (26F), my boyfriend (22M) and my friend (30F) went to a mutual friend's wedding. This friend that went with us needed to stay at my house, and she only told me two weeks before the date, so we had to move a lot of stuff around and make a huge effort just to have her there. I've known her for 5 years, so we decided to help her out even though it wasn't easy for us hosting someone else in our tiny, broke apartment since me and my bf just moved in together. When we were getting ready, I even did her makeup (I used to be a professional mua but stopped bc of pandemic), and we were having fun together. We went to the party, had tons of fun, and spent the entire time dancing with the bride and groom, talking about their cute kid, saying the flowers were beautiful, the cake table was amazing, all good things and we had a great time.

The next day, hungover and sobering up, we talked about some of the negatives of the wedding. For example that there were 100 chairs for 20 guests, which is unnecessary and looks bad; the cerimony got delayed an hour and no one from the staff even told the guests anything, and it was boiling hot as it was outside, stuff like that. The three of us were agreeing that a lot of what happened in that wedding was badly planned/executed, but all and all it was a great time with our friends and they were really happy. 

Fast foward to December, and I get a massive text from the bride (31F) saying that I'm a terrible friend, that I'm not loyal, calling me names and saying that ""not everyone has rich parents"", which hurt specially because I'm unemployed and gave her a really expensive wedding present that I couldn't really afford but made an effort to. I tried replying but was blocked, so I asked the other friend wtf was going on. She said that I was horrible the day after the wedding, that me and my bf only care about money and she had decided not to be friends with me anymore (it's been months and we were talking normally on social media). Me and my bf didn't understand these accusations since all we talked about was the staff execution, and it had nothing to do with money or how much they spent. 

Both of them have blocked me, and I'm not really interested in being friends with people that just cut off friends like that, which the bride does on a regular basis (she constantly cuts off people without even talking if she believes you wronged her, which might explain the 100 chairs) but I can't stop wondering if it was really that bad to say negative things about her wedding.",,1,1,1.0
936,montussybepoppin,AITA for calling out my parent's addictions,"**HUGE TW HERE FOR SUBSTANCE ABUSE!!!**

**QUICK BACSTORY:** I (f16) have a (m39) father and a (f36) mother, both who are horribly addicted to cocaine. This has been a recurring issue, beginning before I was even born, and was practically ignored throughout both sides of the family, as most have similar issues. I myself have struggled with drug addictions (mainly Xanax and Ketamine) as a result of being around their drug use, however have been trying to quit, and am currently a month clean. I had also assumed my parents were both currently drug-free as my father has been suffering with an unknown heart disease, and promised my brother (m12) he would quit, as he wouldn't risk death for addiction.

I recently discovered his lie, when I stumbled upon hundreds of dollars of cocaine in their bedroom. Truthfully I had been worrying for months as we could barely afford food and essentials, but only acted on these suspicions when I lent him $300 for ""groceries"" and he barely came home with anything. After discovering it, I became incredibly frustrated, took pictures, and sent them to a family member we lived with, who confronted them about it and threatened to kick them out. When my parents found out I was the one who notified them, both lost it on me physically and I was locked out of the house. I'm currently staying at a close friends house, but rethinking it, I do understand they're anger, and if I may have overstepped by bringing in another family member. So, am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
939,ReverseSneezeRust,AITA for making my 4 year old think he’s a Jedi?,"I might have gone further than your typical “look you can move this thing with your mind.” I buried a lightsaber in the back yard for him to stumble upon and placed toddler Jedi robes in his closet and made it glow a bit. 

It doesn’t seem like a problem, but he for sure thinks he’s a Jedi. 

It seems similar to the whole Santa thing… I am being told this is bad for his mental health.

He’s is 4 btw.",,1,1,1.0
940,Alternative_Sock_154,AITA for telling my little sister that she gave me an eating disorder on Christmas morning?,"I, 16F and my little sister, let's call her Kelly, 12F have always had a rocky relationship to say the least. I still have a lot of love and empathy for her, but it is getting difficult to deal with her constant comments on the state of my body. Our parents (57F,49M) adopted her from China when she was seven years old and the past few years have been pretty tumultuous. Around this time, I was a pretty big kid, while Kelly was and still is the athletic type, naturally very skinny. I got teased for it at school a lot and before Kelly came into our lives, my home was a safe haven for me where I could receive reassurance and comfort. However, after she became my sister, it was never ending. I no longer had a safe space.

Kelly would constantly comment on my body, poke my stomach, and ask me questions about the size of my thighs or the amount of chins I had. A particularly hurtful experience I remember having was when she asked me if I was pregnant one morning while I was getting ready for school. ( I was 13)  It was almost worse than it was at school because she was never trying to be mean. It made me feel like I was so ugly that even people who didn't want to hurt my feelings thought so. 

Somewhere along the way, I started purging. I won't go into intense detail about it for obvious reasons, but it is an ongoing issue. I am starting to think I stand no chance of recovery as long as I live with her. It has been five years, and she has been unwavering. 

I don't know why I snapped, but a week or so ago, on Christmas morning, while my parents were opening their gifts Kelly looked at me strangely and said something along the lines of; ""Hey, your thighs don't touch anymore."" ( My weight has dropped drastically in the past few months)

I regret responding the way I did, but I replied by saying; ""Yeah, because you gave me an eating disorder.""

This visibly upset her, and my parents were immediately furious with me. Kelly has been inconsolable for the past week and my parents are saying I ruined Christmas. My friends all have conflicting opinions about it, saying that I have a right to be upset, but I should have brought it up at a different time, and she never meant anything by the comments. That's part of why I think I may be TA here.

Thoughts?",,1,1,1.0
941,AyumuF0414,AITA for Talking to an Ex Best Friend of a Close Friend?,"For context, I’ve known both of these people for many years. Let’s call one of them Sarah and the other one Jessica.
Sarah and Jessica were best friends. I met them at cons and they became “con mom and con dad.” I had a crush on Jessica for a long time, but nothing ever happened.
During Covid, Jessica stayed with her friend Tess’s family. Tess’s family is severely germaphobic so they never left their house the past 2 years. Sarah and Jessica would be on opposite ends of a driveway to chat and share gifts on special holidays. But… Sarah mentioned that Tess was mean and that she didn’t like her. She respected Jessica being friends with her but made it evident she didn’t feel the same.
Now for the guilty conscience, I grew closer to Sarah’s other friends from college, and our group of friends for conventions grew larger. And over that time, we all got to know each other while Jessica couldn’t join us. And 2021, Jessica and Sarah had a massive fall out. Apparently everyone in the friend group from college knew why, but I was left out. The day of their fall out, Jessica reached out to me and so did Sarah. I thought nothing of it, until figuring out they had a mysterious fall out. It was a nasty one too. Also, it turned out Jessica had developed a crush on me after being friends for several years when we were both adults. She only told me after moving out of state because it was weighing on her but she couldn’t do long distance. This also happened around the fall out.
Now, skip to Christmas of 2022, I get a random message from Jessica saying she saw I moved states and now live in the state between her and Sarah. I was nice to her, and she just got back to me about maybe meeting up Spring Break. I want to see her again as I’ve missed chatting with her, but something is nagging me about whether I’m the Asshole for talking to the person everyone in the group hates even though I was not given an explanation as to why. Am I still the Asshole?",,1,1,1.0
943,Cautious-Street-489,AITA for quitting my friends soccer team and not leaving them with enough players to win any games?,"To provide some context, I have played soccer for my best friend’s dad’s soccer team on a small soccer league for the past 3 years. I am a senior in hs this year so this is my last season to play for their team. I joined this specific team to play with my 3 best friends who are also on the team (including coaches daughter). 

The last two months have been hell. Recently, my friend group on this team stopped talking to me and including me in any conversations or even acknowledging my presence at practices. I have tried to reach out for answers on why but no one will be honest with me or I just get ignored. I leave every practice/game feeling worse about myself than when I got there. I have finally had enough and have decided to quit the team. We only have 13 players on our team (some of which don’t even show up to games) so with my absence, there is a good chance my team will not have enough players for most games or to even have a team anymore. There is another girl who is experiencing similar things with other girls on the team and will most likely quit also if I do. 
So, AMTA for possibly ruining my friends soccer team to protect my mental health?",,1,1,1.0
946,cjnshrmpoby,AITAH for wishing death on a selfish customer ahead of me.,"It was my lunch break.  I was hungry.  The line was long but that was fine.The deli had just restocked the hot bar so there should have been plenty for all.  And then, the person right in front of me, this fat POS, orders TWO POUNDS of potato wedges, practically the entire tray.  I barely had any for myself when it was finally my turn.

Long story short, AITAH for hoping that he chokes on his order or it gives him a heart attack or he shits himself to death?",,1,1,1.0
951,Sami_Samus,AITA for Being Uncomfortable When My Dad's New Family Uses my Dead Sister's Birthday as Their Gambling Lucky Number?,"I hadn't seen my father for three years due to living out of state. He had gotten married to a woman he dated for less than 6 months and I had only met once (under not the best circumstances). My father and his family were coming to my city for his son-in-law's 21st birthday. When I drove to the casino they were staying at, I met his wife's son and her parents. Not an hour later everyone is telling me how my sister ""jenny"" 's birthday always brought them good luck at the roulette table. They then start SCREAMING ""20!"" ""20!"" ""WOOO THANK YOU, JENNY"". I felt extremely uncomfortable while this was happening. 
For context, my sister died at the age of three in a car accident in 2005. These people had never met my sister and they're sitting there using her memory for personal gain? I kept my mouth shut for the duration of their trip while they continued to about my Dead sister. 
On the last day, I finally tell my dad ""I understand that they aren't trying to be dicks but it makes me uncomfortable."" He immediately starts yelling at me that I need to get over it and whatever other problems I have with them."" He acted like I'm an asshole for even feeling this way...

So Reddit, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
954,HeathenBliss,AITA for writing my brother off and leaving him stranded because of his mistakes?,"I (30M) have had a complicated relationship with my baby brother (24M) since he turned about 17. He started acting out, hanging out with the wrong crowd, and basically digging holes that he couldn't get himself out of. He has a pattern that as well noted in our family of creating a crisis, borrowing money to get out of it, not using the money for what its intended for, and ghosting the person who gave the money to him.

last year, he put on a really good show of cleaning his life up and getting back on the right track because his two children were taken by CPS due to him and his wife's chronic drug abuse and inability to hold a job. He assured everybody in the family that the social worker had given him a plan and a path forward to getting his children back, and he was holding down a really good job and etc. Then, last September, he borrowed a bunch of money again to pay his bills, and ghosted everybody.

Last night, he started blowing my phone up trying to get a couple of hundred dollars from me because he had wound up stranded in a major city (he says he was chasing a lead on a really good job and it just didn't pan out) and needed a way to get back somewhere where he knew people and wouldn't be on the streets.

well, last week I found out that he had been lying to the family about his CPS case, and his kids had been given up for adoption. He had told the social worker that nobody in his family was fit to raise a child, and so the children were adopted outside of the family, two separate families. This is in spite of the fact of the numerous conversations I had with him Wherein I told him that I would be more than happy to adopt or foster his kids until he got his life together and that I was financially and mentally stable enough to do so. 

When he started calling me last night, I told him to go screw himself and that he was dead to me. I told him I would never forgive him for giving my niece and nephew up for adoption outside of the family when there was a home ready for them if they needed it, with a direct relative. He admitted that he lied to me about the situation, and lied to social services, but that I have no right to judge him because I've never had kids of my own. My answer was still No, as far as helping him out of the mess he is in. I told him that I chose not to have kids until I was ready specifically because I didn't want to be in the situation that he's in now and that he just needs to hold himself accountable because I'm not going to rescue him anymore. I told him not to contact me again for any reason.

Now I have family members calling me an asshole because I left my baby brother stranded on the streets of a major city when I could have helped him, and for judging him when I've never been in his shoes either as a parent or in life in general. They're saying that I spoke extremely disrespectfully to him and that things are hard enough on him as it is.

Am I the asshole?",,1,1,1.0
955,fuckmejerrry,"AITA for calling my boyfriend a ""fucking jackass""?","My (23f) hermit crab died yesterday of unknown causes, my boyfriend's (23m) leopard gecko is going to die any day now of old age. My boyfriend has never cared for the gecko, she was a gift from an ex and has lived well past her due years. I am a deep lover of all animals, regardless of where they came from. 

Today my boyfriend and I are cleaning and rearranging furniture, we were about to measure a couch and a wall to see if the couch would fit where we wanted it to when I noticed gecko in a very pitiful state. I immediately started sobbing and lifted her out of her cage because I needed some time with her. 

My boyfriend was upset with this interruption as I was supposed to help him; I told him he's being inconsiderate, that I'm mourning and I needed some time (I'm still actively crying). It's been maybe a minute or 2 when he reminds me that he needs my help, I remind him that I need some time (still crying). 

I sat with her for maybe 10 minutes. The whole while he's struggling, trying to measure the wall himself. He started tossing things out of his way (not out of anger, it was the most convenient way to get the things out of his way as the room was cramped) and making lots of noise while I'm sat there crying with her in my lap. He then asked me to move my legs off the chair I had them propped on because the chair was in his way, I told him no, which annoyed him but he didn't say anything and continued with his task. 

I eventually got up and set her back in her cage and watched her for a bit while my boyfriend waited for me to be done. I asked him if he was hurrying so that he could play video games when he finished and he said yes. I then went to a corner of the livingroom hidden behind some furniture and continued to cry. 

When my boyfriend found me a little later, he asked me why I was crying, and I told him...

""[Hermit crab] died yesterday and [leopard gecko] is going to die any minute now. Considering you don't care for [gecko] the normal response to hold her, be sad and say goodbye does not apply to you. As my boyfriend though, the normal response to hold me and comfort me while I cried DOES apply to you. I was literally mourning and your response was to instead rush me so you could speed-run our cleaning day and get on the game.""

""I'm sorry, I should have been more considerate,"" he said.

I told him there shouldn't have been even a second thought.

""Did it have to be in my computer chair, though?"" 

That comment made me so mad, I told him he was ""STILL being a fucking jackass about it"". With that comment, he stopped talking, walked away, finished what he was doing and left in his car. He's been gone for 30 minutes now. 

AITA for calling my boyfriend a ""fucking jackass""?",,1,1,1.0
956,qwertycanon,AITA for accidentally throwing away my partner’s company debit card?,"My partner and I both work in an extremely remote area and we usually commute every 2 weeks 300 miles (round trip) into town for a supply run and to see family/take a small break from work. We also have an apartment together. 

My partner was given a card from the boss that was loaded with $1,000 to buy essentials for the work place, it was put in an unmarked envelope that just had “Partner’s Receipts” written on it in pen. I was never told this extremely important debit card was in the envelope. 

I like to clean and throw things away, especially junk mail which I get a lot of. I NEVER throw away my partner’s mail, even if it’s junk mail I always make him a pile to sort through. 

Well, the envelope with the debit card got mixed into the junk mail I was throwing away, and now it’s gone. 

I didn’t know the envelope had anything important in it, all it said was “Partner’s Receipts” 
If I had known there was a debit card loaded with $1,000 in it (That can’t be canceled / refunded) I wouldn’t have thrown it away. 

I actually have no recollection of throwing it away, but I know myself well enough to know that I probably didn’t think it was actually that important and tossed it. 

I feel like a huge AH for not possessing the correct critical thinking skills to set the envelope aside, and also everyone at work is mad at me including my partner. 

AITA? Any advice on how to repair the situation? I genuinely didn’t mean any harm by throwing it away. I just like to have a clutter free environment.",,1,1,1.0
957,anonyomosacc0unt,AITA for Letting my Kids Switch Christmas Gifts?,"My (29f) and husband (33m) kids (‘Matilda’ 8f & ‘Matt’ 8m) have pretty different personalities, which I guess is expected for twins. Matilda is tomboyish, she likes going outside to play monster trucks, she’s loud, etc. Matt is moreso quiet, sensitive, he loves art, etc. 

This Christmas, we went to Pittsburg to visit my husband’s parents/siblings and this was the first ever time my kids were meeting their cousins on that side (cousins are 3,3,5,8,9,10,10). It was a bit like a ‘reunion’ for the family, and we arranged to all meet Jan. 5-8. 
All the grandkids were getting presents from their grandparents, the parents had told them what they liked. My husband told his mom she could get Matilda new monster trucks, and Matt would like new markers. Cue the day after arrival, today, they were opening gifts. Matt opened his present, and saw he got a big set of trucks & cars, and he’s always been polite so he said thank you and appeared grateful. Matilda opened hers and saw a huge art supply kit (markers, pens, crayons, little sketchbook) and also said thanks. 
When I was putting them to bed tonight, they told me they didn’t like their gifts. I knew they didn’t so I said maybe grandma got the names mixed up and they could switch. At the time, I did think it was just a mixup. When I got back to the living room, I joked to my husband about the mixup, and it wasn’t loud so others could hear it btw. But he got mad and said he didnt appreciate me making fun of his mother. Then she overheard and asked about what we were saying, and when I told her, she said she did it on purpose, she wanted her grandkids to act the same because they were ‘the first twins in the family, they should be the same’ and she was trying to get them to like each other’s interests. I told her I let them switch anyway and she said I was an AH for being unappreciative. Am I?",,1,1,1.0
958,Spirited-Tour-1715,AITA for making my wedding guests ride a giant hamster wheel to the ceremony?,"Greetings, fellow humans! I know this might sound a bit out there, but stay with me here. My partner and I are getting hitched at a theme park, and I had this brilliant idea to make all of our guests ride a giant hamster wheel from the entrance to the ceremony location. I know it's not your traditional mode of transportation, but bear with me. I think it will add a touch of whimsy and quirkiness to our special day.

My partner and I are both huge theme park enthusiasts, and we want our wedding to be a true reflection of our passions and personalities. We figured the giant hamster wheel would be the perfect addition because it's not something you see every day, and it's exclusive to theme parks. It's not like it's a long distance or anything - it's just a few hundred feet.

However, when I floated this idea to my friends and family, they all had a conniption and said it was ridiculous and potentially dangerous. They said they refuse to ride the giant hamster wheel and that I'm being unreasonable.

I don't understand the fuss. It's just a lighthearted and unconventional way to get to the ceremony. Am I the bad guy for wanting to inject a little fun and originality into our nuptials?",,1,1,1.0
959,sm127,AITA for getting angry at my parents for putting their 14-year-old dog down?,"My parents put down their old 14-year-old Pekingese (we'll call her Pepper) earlier today and I immediately got angry about their reasonings why. AITA for being angry at them?

They've had Pepper for 14 years, since she was a puppy. She has generally been a very healthy dog, although admittedly she is 14 years old now so she was developing Alzheimer's symptoms. But she has been eating, drinking, and living like a normal senior dog. Her biggest issue was going up and down the stairs but other than that she continued to go on walks, eat her food, and play like normal.

3 months ago, my parents sold their house and moved into my aunt's apartment, and the change in living situations caused a shift in Pepper's behavior. She started urinating and pooping in the apartment (much to my aunt's displeasure, which has caused great tension between the 3 adults all living in confined spaces), but other than that she continued to eat and drink as normal.

They visited me over Christmas, driving 10 hours up with Pepper, and Pepper for the most part was fine. She played with my dog, she ate her food (and my dog's food), and the only time she had an accident inside was when we had gone shopping for 5+ hours and didn't come back in time to take her out. 

Today they called and said they were on their way to put Pepper down. When I asked why, my dad's response was ""well Pepper peed in the house again, she isn't eating her favorite food anymore, and your mom is going on vacation next week and your aunt and I can't take care of Pepper."" 

When I asked if they would have put her down if they still lived in their house, as opposed to my aunt's apartment, he said ""yes we'd keep her alive, but unfortunately we don't live in the house anymore so that's not an option.""

I understand Pepper was old...but I still think ending an otherwise happy dog's life prematurely because of your living situations and travel plans is incredibly wrong. 

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
960,Acrobatic-Feature702,AITAH For causing my husband to potentially become homeless?,"I f23 and my husband Austin m23 have not had the best relationship since I enlisted In the military. He was completely aware I was enlisting and we got married so he could live with me out of the country. Military’s rules not mine. 

We moved in together overseas, but so did his mom. She did not live in our household but ran it as if she did, down to the meals I was cooking. Our arguments escalated because he would call her and get the entire family involved and it was a huge mess. He didn’t work, didn’t cook, didn’t clean. All he did was play video games, go to the gym, and “attend classes”. 

Im the bread winner and housewife all in one. This way, I feel I have every right to decompress with a glass of wine and a book right? According to him I am not allowed to touch alcohol as long as we live together because his mom is an alcoholic. I will not agree to this and I will not let him dictate what I do in my decompression time, especially when I do his laundry and still wake up to go to work every morning while he sleeps or is still up from the previous night playing games. This has been the bulk of our arguments on top of many other things. 

Constantly we’ve been arguing and he’s gone back and forth to the states on MY dime for the past few months and I’m getting tired of it. He didn’t even spend thanksgiving, Christmas, or new years with me. I spent the holidays alone. We’ve discussed divorce but he won’t agree, he feels he cant love anyone else blah blah all that stuff. Mentally I’ve checked out, I’m over living with a roommate and I’ve fallen out of love, I have been for a while now. I’ve given him so many chances to change and even remove his mom from our relationship but he hasn’t done either. 

He wants to come back to living with me because his parents are kicking him out, this is not confirmed but our dads are friends and there’s been word. He’s expressed wanting to come back over the holidays but “couldn’t make up his mind”. I told him If he comes back it’s completely on my terms, he needs to focus on making me happy and contributing to the home and he’s diverted the conversation every time. 

I don’t want him to come back but I’m delaying the answer, he says it’s not fair to him because I won’t give him an immediate answer and he wants to start the new year fresh. I don’t believe it for a second, he wanted to spend the holidays and mooch off of his family as much as he could before getting an answer back to me on if he wants to come back. 

I really want a divorce and I’m planning on following through, I want to move on. Therapy and one on one conversations haven’t worked and i’m done fighting for us just to be back in a toxic environment and used. This may mean he will be homeless due to his own selfishness as he’s a couch potato at his parents place as well. I feel guilty because I could prevent it but I don’t want to live through misery. 

AITA for following through even though this means he might be homeless?",,1,1,1.0
961,dddannnnaaa,AITA for telling my aunt my cousin is fat and that they should laugh at her instead?,"okay i sound fatphobic in my title but please listen to my story, for starters: i (15F) live in a fairly small village or a town where its mostly male dominated and its hard for women to do things without being judged or called sluts, even putting on a little weight around the hips makes you seem bad, now i live in a packed house-near-house type of neighborhood and i usually go to my grandparents house (theyve passed away a while ago so its just my two single aunts and my uncles family) one of my aunts, lets call her sun, is EXTREMELY judegmental , shes your typical mean aunt bullying people until she sees them cry, before we started living here (about four years ago) i was VERY fat, overweight actually, i was bullied so bad i ended up starving myself when i got here, one of my biggest bullies was my aunt sun. she constantly called me fat and made fun of how i looked, i ended up losing almost 25 kgs andd ended up being 50 kgs at 175cm which was bad , actually horrible i may say, she started picking on me for being so skinny, she even knew at the time i was struggling and just laughed, ive since recovered and now have gained back my weight but not the same as before mainly down like near my thighs and hips, and boy, my relatives ARE NOT okay with it , my 27 year old  cousin (shes a doctor and my aunt sun's FAVORITE niece) is so much skinnier than i am, which makes her my competition whenever we are both at my grandparents house, now enough with this part and now onto the real story: 

today me and my mom wanted to order takeout nothing special just fried chicken and some burgers, my sister forgot to get burgers so i decided to go to my aunts to  help me order , i get there and hand the money over , my aunt sun and uncle start poking my thighs and body and start telling me the most disgusting shit ever, they started telling me how they want to starve me for a whole day to get rid of my fat, or how i need to be fed rocks to stay put and stop eating, usually im used to it but i couldnt handle it anymore, i broke down and started screaming about how my other cousin (19F) is literally obese to the point she cant walk right, and  if anything  they should laugh at her not me because i never asked for my body to be this way, shes not even helping herself , i obviously dont hate her or find her ugly for being fat but she isnt careful about what she does to her body. but i never point it out since i want her to be happy, my aunt sun starts screaming at me to get out and that i should never compare myself to here because she has accomplished more than me ,I kept saying its fucking weird they kepts pointing out my body no matter how i looked, after that, i left . but before i did, i asked sun if shes happy now, that she finally got to see me breakdown over something she thought i finally recovered from. its two am and im still upset. i dont know how to feel.",,1,1,1.0
965,Every-Release-5737,AITA for locking my daughter in the basement?,"I (47M) have a daughter (12F) who is a hoe. She denies it, of course, when the topic is approached, but I know. OH I KNOW. She is a hoe. She’s constantly having her friends over. She’s CONSTANTLY asking to go to the “park” to “hang out” with her “friends” but I am not dumb. I know she’s really just a hoe. So am I the asshole for locking her in the basement?",,1,1,1.0
968,Gold_Application_988,AITA for the advice I gave?,"Throwaway and kinda long sorry.

I (24F) have a friend (25F) who I have known for about 4 years. She suffers from a bunch of trauma that she went through as a kid and growing up and is mentally ill. She started getting professional help for it a  year or so ago. I 100% would never judge her for that or use it against her in any way. I know how hard it is to deal with and how much it affects you every single day. 

Due to her condition significantly worsening and being excused from work, she has a lot of free time. She's constantly on TikTok, Twitter, Insta, etc. That's not the issue. She's always sending every little post of news coming from every state and it's always negative. I agree with what she's saying all the time, and how what these states are doing is wrong by my own standards. 

The issue is that it's overwhelming. I personally try to limit my consumption of media and news not because I don't care, but because it makes me feel depressed and hopeless. I brought this up to her and she lashed out at me saying I don't care about these issues and by staying silent I am being compliant. I kind of got offended because while I'd love to be an advocate, I am still a little fish in a massive pond. I don't even have a social media presence; the most I do is scroll, like, and occasionally comment on AITA when I'm at work lol. 

I told her that maybe she should stop endlessly scrolling and go outside/take a break from social media because I doubt that it's good for her health and honestly is probably what made her condition significantly worse. I kinda crossed the line by saying she'd probably be in a better place mentally if she didn't obsess over this stuff and she called me ableist. I don't know, I'm of the mentality that social media is what caused the spike in depression and anxiety in our generation. Seeing a surplus of bad in the world can't be good for your mental health. 

AITA? I don't think I said anything ridiculous but some of my other friends think I took it too far.",,1,1,1.0
969,ThrowawayHisssssss,AITA for hissing at my partner,"I (22F) was not having a good day yesterday. My partner (24M) and I had gotten into a fight. I have a few mental health diagnoses under my belt, and overall it has been a rough year and start to the new year. I’ve been in a depressive slump for over a month now and the holidays have only exacerbated that. There’s been a lot on my plate and I’ve been struggling to find motivation to get out of bed, let alone for my two jobs & familial caretaking obligations. This all caught up to me yesterday and I had an anxiety attack and your run-of-the-mill emotional breakdown. I am getting treated for my mental health conditions but have been unable to schedule a therapy appointment in the past few weeks due to the holidays. I expressed to my partner that I was feeling really down and could use some quality time and comfort. He was preoccupied gaming with friends, which I totally get — he works full time and is a full time student so he deserves his downtime too. He told me we’d hang out later, and I guess that answer did not bode well with me, probably because of the very desperate state I was in. I’m working on resorting to my mental health resources first before reaching out to my partner and loved ones, because I frankly hate feeling like a burden to them. In this moment, I felt lost, upset, and unwanted. Why wasn’t he heartbroken or sad seeing me in this state? He doesn’t owe me any of that, and probably has been conditioned over our years of dating to seeing me in distress that it doesn’t have much of an effect anymore. In response to his rejection, I went to the next room and cried for an hour. After I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I approached him again to which he replied, “One more game.” For whatever reason, I was satisfied by this and went back to the bedroom, where I consoled myself with Reddit, memes, and my Nintendo Switch for another 1.5 hours but could hear him still communicating with his friends in the next room. This is where I really could be the asshole. I marched into that room and put away my belongings (loudly) without acknowledging him, then ran back to the bed. I cried here for another hour until I fell asleep. It was very clear that I was still visibly upset but he didn’t come to check on me or talk to me. Later that night I felt him get in the bed to sleep and cuddle up next to me. Due to some combination of feeling an unexpected (and at that moment, unwanted) human touch, 2+ hours of misery alone, and honestly just enduring a shitty night, I let out the biggest hiss (think cursed demon crawling out of your TV) I could muster. He flinched, yelped, and rolled over on his side and we both fell asleep. I know we have some issues to work through and I also could have handled this a lot better. (We did make up today and had a no-hissing-allowed adult conversation). I definitely feel like the asshole bc I was 100% holding in my laughter from scaring him shitless, but Reddit, AITA really?!",,1,1,1.0
970,Glacier_Pace,AITA for calling out a friend for virtually ditching us?,"So me and my two buddies have been excited about playing through the game Valheim's Mistlands update all year. The update came out a few weeks ago, and we played the first few nights and had a great time. 

So we went to play a third time, and the third friend said ""Hey, can't make it tonight. Some other friends asked me to play Divinity and I can't say no to Divinity!"" 

He progresses to bail on us for an entire two weeks of play until he plays through with his other friends and comes back. 

I said, ""Thanks for ditching us, ass."" I said it jokingly but I was actually a bit hurt that we felt like second rate friends and feel this may not have been fair to say to him.  

AITA?",,1,1,1.0
972,RepresentativeWild35,WIBTA If I asked my family to stop sending me money?,"Over the course of 12 or so years and 2 marriages, I've watched my husbands misuse the money that was sent to us as a replacement for physical presents, basically treating it like it was a personal loan to get us out of whatever financial rut we were currently in. Sure, I like having the bills caught up, gas in the vehicle, things of that nature, but when the money is sent to us and it's said to be spent on something fun and it's not, it frustrates me and has made me get to the point of telling my family to stop sending me money. I hesitate, though, because I don't want to be seen as selfish or ungrateful, which I know how it might seem that way, but I'm far from it. I just think that a personal loan and money in place of gifts should be treated as such, and when misused, I'm allowed to be a little salty about it. My friends and family all think I'm right, but they're biased, so I come here today asking for other opinions. If I made this decision, would it make me an AH, or am I right to feel this way and make that call?",,1,1,1.0
973,The_Ugly_Duckling-,AITA for trying to get my friends to leave my lunch table,"(Please excuse any typing errors or bad grammar) 
Okay so this post is gonna include some middle school drama if any of y’all like that but I really want to know if I’m in the wrong.
So I sit this lunch table everyday with a bunch of my friends. Some of the days one of my friends, we will just call her A, invites some of her friends to sit with us. 
I’m not really friends with them but I don’t really hate them either so I never had a complaint about them sitting there.
But for the last week A has been inviting too many people to the table which made only one seat available. 
I also sit next to my friend “S” who is not very talkative to the other people. She is just fine with me but she is not very close with everyone else and she doesn’t really like A. S also used to switch between my table and another table but has been sitting permanently at our table for a while.
When we all realized that there wasn’t going to be enough seats for all of us, one girl (not one of A’s friends) leaves to go and sit at another table. 
I did not think this was right. At the beginning of the year around three people sat there. On the third day of school me, A, and S all joined. I believe that the original people at the table should not have to move. 
The next day it was the same situation and I was obviously upset about not being able to just sit and eat but instead of continued arguing me and S just went to sit at another table for the day. 
The next morning I confronted A about the situation saying that I don’t think it’s right that we have to move and that you can just invite people to our table resulting in me and S not getting to sit there. She said they she would tell them that they can’t sit there anymore. 
During lunch A and her friends sat there anyway. I of course was very upset out this and confronted A saying that we needed to talk about this whole situation. She said that she never said that they would move and said that S shouldn’t sit here because she never talks to anyone else. I kept telling her that she can’t just invite her friends here and expect us to just move. By the end of the discussion she said that her and her friends would move tomorrow. We went to go and sit at another table for the day. 
I have been stressing over this situation and I believe that I’m in the right. But other people are saying that they wished S talked to them more. I understand where they are coming from but I’ve never seen them try to start a conversation with S at all.
Please tell me if I’m in the wrong.",,1,1,1.0
974,fastfood12,AITA for taking my nephew out of town instead of making him go to his dad's?,"I (33M) have a 14-year-old nephew. His dad (39) is my half-brother. There is a long backstory but I was raised by our grandparents and he wasn’t. This has caused a lot of resentment towards me as I got a “perfect” childhood and he didn’t. We had no relationship prior to my nephew being born. He didn’t realize that the girl he impregnated was my former classmate. I reached out to her and she is the only reason I have any sort of relationship with my nephew and niece. There was domestic violence and abuse early on. Their relationship ended after the birth of my niece (now 11). They are usually on good terms now.

​

My brother is very inconsistent and makes promises that are rarely kept. He is absent for long periods of time. He also caused a lot of trauma for my nephew which he is still dealing with today. I made a deliberate choice to always be open, honest, and present for my nephew. While his dad is almost never there, I am at nearly every birthday, game, and ceremony. Years later, I am the only one that he truly trusts. He has told me that he considers me one of his best friends. Lately, he has been making jokes about his dad leaving and not coming back.

​

I love to travel and I am always on the go. It took a while, but I finally convinced his mom to let me take him with me. Since then, we have been all over the country. His mom approves every trip and I book nothing without her explicit permission. I pay for everything and his travel is completely free for them. His mom has sole custody and his dad has now moved five hours away for the next year for work.

​

For the week after Christmas, we decided to go to DC. This was planned a month before we went. A week before Christmas, his dad decided that he wanted to get the kids for that same week. I told my nephew that we could reschedule, but he didn’t want to go with his dad. He kept saying that I asked first, therefore, he should go with me. My brother went ballistic. First, demanded that his ex make him go with him instead. She refused. Then, my brother made a surprise trip down and cornered my nephew and pressured him to go with him instead. He said things like, “tell your uncle to fuck off; you are my kid, not his; you have two parents and I wasn’t consulted about this trip; you better go with me….” etc, etc. My nephew kept saying that I asked him first and ultimately went with me instead. This wasn't the first time a trip interfered with his plans. However, the last time that happened was in like 2017.

​

His dad thinks I am a major asshole. If not canceling our trip was the wrong thing to do, then I will most certainly apologize. I just don't think I am at fault here. I also do not think that I should be required to get unneeded approval from his deadbeat dad. However, I am interested in hearing other perspectives. So AITA here?  

​

AITA for taking my nephew on a trip out of town instead of sending him to his dad’s?",,1,1,1.0
976,bored_banana_88,AITA for telling my friend what our mutual friend said about his sister,"It happened two months ago. I (20F) was in the car with my 3 friends and we were picking up our forth (mutual)  friend (20M). Two friends started commentinf about his sisters (he has 2 older and 1 younger sister). Those friends who commented are both virgins, male and 19/20 years old. They started saying thinks like ""innocent, juicy pussy"" reffering to that girl. 

I told our mutual friend tomorrow that those 2 friends about his sisters, he got mad and them, they apologized and all went back to normal. Long story short, one of those two friends got extremly mad at me for sayinf that to our mutual friend, calling me various hurtful names.  He has a tendency of badmouthing his friends.

Story has many more details but I don't find them very relevant. I just wanted my friend to know the truth about our friends because they grossly commented on his younger sister.

This friend has previously been saying mean things about me, and when I have cinfronted him, he acted as if it was my fault or I got it wrong, he didnt mean it like that, he has his problems and so on. I just think, after all, that he is very toxic despite people around me saying ""that's classic him, let it go, its not important"". 

After all, second friend (who also commented but didnt get mad at me) has a sister who goes to the same class as that girl and he said multiple times ""if somebody touches/says anything about my sister, i'd kill him"" So why shouldn't anybody speak about his sister, but it's okay for him to talk about somebody else's sister? I have a lot of mixed feeling because I know this guy (who got mad ar me) since birth. He told me to never speak to me again, kept lines blurry, wrote to me drunk and high, send mixed signals. Am I really that terrible like he said?",,1,1,1.0
977,Quick_Bamboo290,AITA for making my child vegan?,"Before I start, I apologize for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes in advance. 

I (39F) have a daughter (4F). She is vegan just like her mother. Yup, no dairy (unless it’s vegan & not actual dairy), and meat (including fish). She goes to daycare, and I have notified the staff to not give her anything that isn’t vegan, since the kids get fed there. This is important for later. PS, I give my daughter all the nutrients she needs: chickpeas, beans, lentils, spinach, salads, and of course, fake meat / fake dairy. My daughter has never complained about the food she gets, and she’s even told me she loves it before. 
At the daycare she goes to, if the children don’t finish their food, it gets put into a box and they can finish it at home. When I came up to my daughter and she had a little take out box, I was surprised since she usually finishes all her food. I decided to open the box to see how much she had eaten of the meal they had given her, and since I wasn’t really sure what the kids eat. I found a grilled cheese with pork, and a yogurt on the side. She didn’t try anything, which I was relieved for.

 She told me that it “smelled weird”, which was why she didn’t want to eat it. I asked the staff why would they give her a cheese and pork sandwich if they know she’s vegan and cannot have that. They said she never eats the food anyway, so it’s not a problem. I realized this was why my daughter has become hungrier at home, and constantly asks me for bigger portions. I asked them why they couldn’t have just given her a fruit salad or something, they called me a horrible mother for “feeding my child like a rabbit”. Ever since, I don’t know if I was wrong for making her go vegan, or if I’m abusing her in some sort of way.

PS: If she had ever complained about her diet, I would have gave her a different one, because she knows and sees kids around her not eating what she eats. Please tell me if I’m TA and if I should switch up her diet.",,1,1,1.0
978,AnimalCrosserAsh,AITA for not wanting my friends to stay over at my house?,"My friends and I (17F) planned a hangout at mine they would stay over for 5 days we go out and etc. But after the first night I did not want them here at all I find 1 of their behaviour honestly just annoying and I don’t know why? Maybes it’s not the lifestyle I’m used to? She always talk’s constantly and touches which I don’t really like. As well as she tries to make her input on situations she knows nothing about. This just bothers me a lot though we have been friends for a long time, I do feel like an asshole for not wanting her over because of her personality.",,1,1,1.0
979,Critical-Elevator-19,WIBTA if I tell someone who thinks we are friends to leave me alone?,"On mobile so apologies for any formatting issues.

I (26F) am in university, and he has some of the same classes as me because he is in the same program. Last year when I was trying to make friends in my program, I invited him once to do homework together, and once to grab a drink at the campus bar (both times with another person who I also hoped to be friends with). I don't like hanging out with him anymore, but he makes a beeline for me whenever he sees me, and I feel like I can't make friends with anyone else now because of it, and like I need to hide from him when I'm on campus.

He has bad breath sometimes, BO other times, dandruff down his back. I didn't know this when I first pursued the friendship.

Even besides the hygiene issues, I find him to be annoying in other ways. He talks over people, makes the same jokes over and over, and just generally tries to act very cool in ways I find irritating.

He is an international student, so I feel bad thinking this way and I want to be nice, but not at the expense of my social life/university experience. I also do know that he has other friends, and a roommate he is close with, so it's not like I am his only social outlet.

There are people in these classes who I would like to get to know better, and just in general I would like to branch out from this person, but I don't know how to do it without being super blunt and telling him to leave me alone. I will purposely come to the classes I share with him late, so that I can sit somewhere else under the guise of ""I'm late, I don't want to disrupt class, so I'll just sit in the back corner"", but if he has a chance he will MOVE to sit next to me. He did this today. I also feel like other people think we are good friends, or maybe even dating, because we are always together. (I have considered whether he has a romantic interest in me - it's possible but I don't think that's the case, and I don't think it matters anyway.) I feel that him being around me all the time causes people to not try to be friends with me as much as they would otherwise, because of his hygiene and behaviour, and also because my mood sours whenever he is around.

Last semester he asked which classes I was taking next and then mentioned that he was going to apply to TA for one of the ones I told him. (He was not considering TAing this class until I told him what my schedule was.) I bluntly told him I did not want him to TA this class, and he told me he was joking (I don't believe him at all).

I am coming to the end of my degree and taking this class at another time is not an option. I have to take it now, with him.

Would I be the asshole if I tell him I don't want to sit together anymore?",,1,1,1.0
981,tywpo,AITA because I don’t want to go to my friend’s daughter’s first birthday party?,"I have been close friends with “Mary” for about seven years, we met in nursing school. I was maid of honor at her wedding. Mary has been married to “Levi” for about two years, and they have an almost one year old daughter, “Brynn.”

Long story short, in May of 2020, Mary introduced me to Levi’s friend, “Justin.” Justin is a childhood friend of Levi’s, they practically grew up together, and their families are very close as well. So, Justin and I became a couple not long after we met, but we broke up this past June (2022). The relationship ended on OK terms, but quite frankly I have not taken it well, and it left me heartbroken. Justin and I broke up because he didn’t want to a stepfather, and me being a single mom to an 8 year old, it was going to come down to that eventually. But I won’t go into any further detail, because that is not what this post is about. I am not looking for any relationship advice, or any questions concerning getting back with my ex. 

After the break up, I have maintained my friendship with Mary. However I will note, (according to Mary) Justin pretty much ghosted Levi after the break up. So, Brynn’s baptism and first birthday party is coming up. Mary invited me to come, but Justin and his whole family will also be there (parents, sister and brother). I can think of a thousand reasons why I don’t want to go. Just to name a couple. First and foremost, I am not emotionally ready to see Justin again. I just cannot face him. But also, I have my daughter that day, and I really don’t think it’s a good idea to bring her around Justin or his family. Especially because my daughter has never met Justin’s family (she met Justin many times). 

Mary says I am being selfish and she “wants both parties to be there without having to choose a side,” and “I should be over it by now.” I assured her that this is not remotely about her choosing a side, this is about my healing process and my daughter. I don’t believe that I AITA because as anyone can assume, my daughter comes first. In fact, my daughter is the most important factor in this. My daughter does not need to see Justin again, and there is no reason for her to meet his family. I also don’t think AITA because I don’t want to see Justin, and I don’t think I need to further explain why. 

So, AITA?",,1,1,1.0
982,allredditnonames,"WIBTA to get a cat, knowing my husband is at best ambivalent and definitely not actively wanting one?","We lost our cat Cleo one year ago to a long illness. She was the only pet we've had in 20+ years of marriage, so it was hard losing her. After Cleo's death, husband asked that we wait 'a while' before considering a new cat, and of course I agreed. As the one-year mark approaches, it's become clear he does not really want another cat at all. Depending on the conversation, he might express some interest, or an opposition, or just a concern that the next cat would be a 'trouble-maker' and not as wonderful as our prior cat. 

(Background: we adopted Cleo from a family member who was forced into no-pet housing. We were both highly reluctant to take her, but it turned into such a good experience until the end. That was just hard, and I'm definitely not over it.)

I recently admitted to him that I had cried (again) looking at the adoptable cats at PetSmart, because I do miss having a cat. He did say I should visit some adoption centers and find one, but it's pretty clear he didn't really want that. He misses our kitty, but likes not having the litter tracked everywhere, or the 2am wakeup calls, or the heartbreaking loss at the end.

So reddit, WIBTA to adopt a cat and hope it turns into a good experience for my husband, despite his doubts? If it matters to your judgement, I would be the primary caregiver - I work from home, while my husband goes to work all day. I get lonely.",,1,1,1.0
983,luxlark,WIBTA if we didn't fully pay our house/pet sitter and reported them?,"We recently hired someone off Rover to stay with our pets while we were in another state (1 dog, 2 cats). When we met Roverman (early 20s), we really liked him. We told him that our half-border collie dog needed a couple decent walks and potty breaks during the day and before bed. Roverman seemed totally cool with that and planned to spend the weekend vegging with the pets. Perfect. He wanted to go off-app so as to not incur fees. Sure, great reviews/background checked, whatever. We paid him half the fee up front.

The first day, he texted to ask if he could have a friend over because he felt lonely. No problem! On the second day, we checked the ring to see our dog. What we saw was him sitting out on the patio with two friends. Fine, but it would have been great if he'd told us that it was two friends instead of one. We looked more for the dog and saw she'd only been taken out the evening before and then that morning. NOT GREAT. We decided to keep an eye and see if it continued (mistake on our part for sure).

LATE late on the third evening, we got lots of incoming notifications. I open one up to see Roverman having some rather intimate moments with another person on the patio. Shocked, I checked and saw that not only were the friends back but they'd brought two others, dressed for a sexy time. The dog had not been taken out since 7pm.

My partner texted Roverman, telling him we weren't cool with a party at our house and asking that his friends leave. After a bit of time and no response, he attempted to call but Roverman's phone was turned off. When I tell you we were spiraling!

The morning of the fourth day, we don't hear from Roverman until 10:30ish, though we did see two of the people leave around 8am (they came back around noon and then left again an hour later). His phone died, he said. It wasn't a party, he said. We were just playing Mario Kart, he said. Fine, we said, please take the dog out before you leave this morning. Ok, he said.

Around 1:00, he still hadn't taken out the dog. At this point she hadn't been out in 18 HOURS. My partner texted, asking him to take the fluff out. I'm just doing dishes, he said. LEAVE THE DISHES TAKE THE DOG FOR A PEE IT'S BEEN 18 HOURS, we said. Not quite like that. Less yelling, as we were still concerned that he could do whatever he wanted and we'd have no way to stop him. He takes the dog for a walk, leaves.

Our regular sitter shows up to take over, the dog is mopey, the cuddle kitty is hiding under the bed, the house is a bit of a mess (fair, we told him to just go). Nothing too serious, except for the upset pets. When we got home a couple days later, the animals were back to normal, no harm/no foul. 

So here comes my question: WIBTA if we didn't pay him the second half and reported him to Rover? At the end of the day, no actual harm was done (no signs of bladder infection in the fluff), but we don't feel that he held up his end of the deal and we will never hire someone off that app again.",,1,1,1.0
985,RestaurantPlastic702,AITA for telling my Asian boyfriend to apologize for calling me the N-word?,"There's a guy that just moved into his building. He's black and from a totally different country that mine. He asked if he would know how to speak my language I told him no, there's no way someone from him country would know how to , unless they were language enthusiasts or something...

I asked him,  ""What are you going to say to him. I have a black gf and I was wondering if you know how to speak her language just because youre black and from Africa too?"" He said yes, yes going to ask that, and he's going to replace the word black with the N-word. 

I got mad. He said he's sorry because I got mad at that. After I asked him if that's the only reason he's apologizing? He said yes. He did nothing wrong because Asians were once colonized and enslaved too. 

He sent these texts right here :

I know it was wrong of me

If you're judging my character by that

You're wrong

I know how sensitive that is

I am sorry I hurt your sentiments

I was just having a casual conversation with you

I respect that you're black

And I'm proud to call you mine

As a person I want to break down these cultural inappropriations  and that's why I'm proud I'm in a relationship with you

I just want him to apologize for saying the n word and calling me that because it hurt me. AITA for just wanting that and not these messages he's sending me??",,1,1,1.0
993,LaRavy,AITA for being mad at my friend who didn’t invited me?,"So basically we have a group of friend formed by 6 people, me and my boyfriend being 2. In this group there is my best friend of 7 years. They had a party for new year (also 31 dec is my bday) and didn’t invited us for some reason. I got mad, because they tried to hid it from us till i asked what they were going to do and it was already too late for us to organise since we don’t live on the same city. Am i the asshole for being mad about that or i am just over reacting? 
Me and my boyfriend spent the day/night with my parents at home doing nothing, and they knew about it.",,1,1,1.0
995,livlies,AITA for trying to cancel a gym subscription with a Insta famous small business?,"Hi everyone so I’m a 22(f) and i am autistic and dyslexic, part of these diagnoses is that obviously reading is hard but I can also be very naive and impulsive. I promise this is important. One night I was feeling particularly insecure and decided I was going to sign up for a gym subscription with a small business off of Instagram (just over 100k followers) it had great reviews and a friend from school followed them so instead of doing my own research I just went for it. First dumb move. 

Now when signing up you had to put in your credit card information before reading the t and cs, first red flag, me being very naive and trusting went for it and signed the t and cs, my second incredibly dumb move. 48 hours later the funds had been taken from my account and that’s when I realised my mistake, my dyslexia kicked in whilst I was reading the price and I did not realise it was in pounds, the conversion rate made it so it was almost double what I was expecting to pay. So through the app you had to download I messaged the girl, I told her that I had made a huge mistake and I can not actually afford this right now and explained my disabilities, (I know not her problem and it was entirely my fault but I wanted to paint the full picture and let her know I wasn’t pulling out for no reason). I let her know that she could keep the first monthly payment for any services she provided (which was a copy and paste workout plan and food plan as we hadn’t had any personal conversation yet) and for any inconvenience I caused, I thought that this was a reasonable compromise. She outright refused telling me that I signed the contract so tough luck and they were going to charge me for the three months commitment I had made by signing the contract. I pleaded telling her I can’t afford this and that I know I made a mistake but if she could please just help me out, but still no she refused being incredibly passive aggressive the entire time. 

So AITA? Or is she? 


I would like to say I know that this is entirely my fault and she has no obligation too cancel the subscription. I just thought someone with an ounce of empathy would be understanding of this situation.",,1,1,1.0
999,Lopsided_Sport6006,"AITA, i cut someone off and they chased me?","i’m a new driver, i’ve had my license for 4 weeks, today was my first time driving at night on my own. i was on my way home and pulling out of a gas station at 4 way intersection. i pulled up awkwardly to the light but didn’t realize there was already someone pulling up, they beeped multiple times for about 5-10 seconds and i saw i had cut them off. the bering distracted me and i didn’t immediately drive when the light turned green, so the person started screaming at me from their car, swearing loudly, and calling me an idiot. obviously i drove but i am a young girl and the man was mad so i took a longer route home and he was tailgating me at 40 mh down an empty street. i turned quickly down a side road and he kept going straight, but he threw something at me and it hit my car. i then made sure i wasn’t being followed and went home. 

am i the asshole? i don’t know if his reaction was warranted or not because i haven’t ever made that mistake before and i don’t have much driving experience. i just feel embarrassed by my poor driving skills and scared kind of",,1,1,1.0